If I Had You
by donna515
Summary: An alternative to whatever is currently happening on that show I used to watch on Tuesdays. Tony and Ziva. TIVA. No apologies.
1. Chapter 1

If I Had You

I could show the world how to smile

I could be glad all of the while

I could change the gray skies to blue

If I had you

I could leave the old days behind

Leave all my pals, I'd never mind

I could start my life anew

If I had you

I could climb a snow-capped mountain

Sail the mighty ocean wide

I could cross the burning desert

If I had you by my side

I could be a king, dear, uncrowned

Humble or poor, rich or renowned

There is nothin' I couldn't do

If I had you

Jimmy Campbell/Reg Connelly-1928

A/N:My previous fan fic experience has been limited to Soap Operas, and the biggest part of my interest in NCIS was the TIVA relationship,soap like complications included. As a result, this will definitely read more soapy than the actual show, and I won't apologize for it

I'm not confident enough to write a case file fic, and honestly, have no interest in doing so. Others have done a brilliant job here and elsewhere,one that I could never hope to match, so if that's your thing, this story probably isn't for you.

Also, I've been a fan of of Mark Harmon since he played the cop with the canine partner on Sam in the 70's (yikes) but for me, the Gibbs ship has sailed, right along with the SS Abby Sciuto.. So those characters may not always be portrayed in the most flattering lights here Just a warning .

The title is from a lovely song by Mr Sinatra, and the lyrics sort of sum up what I think is a huge part of both Tony and Ziva's character (neglected/ignored by Glassberg of course). That is, each one is less than they could be without the other. Tony is Ziva's hero, she helped find that in himself. And even though she doesn't think she needs or deserves one, he is her hero. Not to mention he's already crossed that burning desert for her. More than once. There is nothing either one of them couldn't do, as long as they have each other. Cue the violins :)

Some more disclaiming while I'm at it: I've seen pictures of Bishop, but I've never actually seen her in an episode. I still can't bring myself to watch anything from Season 11, PPF included. So any mistakes about what happened during any of those episodes are unintentional, and should be chalked up to this AU version of Tiva/NCIS world. In my universe Linda Turner DiNozzo is played by Stephanie Powers. I based the Faith character on the actress who played her back in Season 1, Alicia Coppola. (another Soap Opera connection: She was Lorna on my late, much missed Another World)., and I used her and the character she played in Season 1 after reading some spec that she could possibly be Tony's new love interest.

I had no idea that Glassberg would be lazy and incompetent enough to just attempt to clone Ziva, right down to the character's name beginning with a Z. .You really just have to laugh at his idiocy . "She's a brunette with a gun. They probably won't even notice it's not really old what's her name. " No thanks. I'll stay in Ziva-reruns and the lovely world of fanfic.

I'm keeping everything crossed here, hoping I got the voices right. Here goes. *holds nose, moves to the end of the diving board* One more thing: Italics denote flashbacks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except a frighteningly large amount of NARS cosmetics. Blame Carrie Bradshaw. Beta'd only by me, so any mistakes also belong to me.

Chapter.1 The Pierre Hotel NYC October

AN: I wanted to emphasize the stupidity of Glassberg having everyone pretend Ziva didn't exist. So Senior has never mentioned her by name to his new wife. It just so happened to work for me in this situation, but I still hate it :(. You can't see me, Gary, but my middle finger is waving at you from here.

Charcoal. Nah, too boring. He tossed the expensive scrap of silk aside and picked up another one. Black. Nope. Too formal. That one landed on top of the first one and he reached for an old favorite. A narrow, vintage Red silk with discreet white polka dots. An Ebay find from years ago, with the Sulka label still inside the lining. He adjusted the knot under his crisp, white collar and smoothed the tie down against his shirt front. As he slipped on the 3 button jacket, he realized it was still a bit roomy, in spite of the recent alterations. The 4 nights a week at the gym, no beer, no carbs and very little fun life he'd been living for the past 6 months was paying off.

His long absent six pack returned, along with the ability to fit into suits he hadn't been able to wear for nearly half a decade. He accepted the fact that his last birthday, among other things,had brought him face to face with a mid life crisis. The very same mid life crisis he felt lurking just under the surface of his consciousness for the last year or so, the one wont to make itself known at the most random times. Those random moments were fewer these days, nearly gone, in fact. He felt better than he had in years. Of course he did. Why wouldn't he?He pocketed his wallet, adjusted his cuff links and glanced at his watch. 8:11 on the dot. 9 minutes to get in the elevator and make it down to the dining room. His stomach did a little gurgle thing, something that only started recently, and he chalked it up to his eating clean and getting older. Now he had eight minutes and some seconds to spare, and he needed to step. Faith hated when he was late, even if it was only a minute or so. He grabbed the key card off the dresser and made a dash for the door.

Shit. The elevator stopped at each and every floor, and by the time he maneuvered his way carefully around an elderly couple stepping out into the lobby, it was 8:22. Faith was pacing back and forth in front of the small group of sofas just off the elevators, her long curtain of straight black hair flying behind her. She stopped at the end of one sofa, turned on her spiked heel sharply and resumed her pacing across the elegant black and white tiled floor. Shit. He straightened his tie and then approached the seating area confidently, his stomach doing that gurgle thing again. He really needed to eat something. "Hi Honey." he said, just as she made another sharp turn. Her head snapped up quickly, her small face dark and angry, her eyes narrow,obsidian slits.

"You're late." she said, her whispery voice nearly a growl. He was about to launch into self defense 'its only two minutes' mode but checked himself when he remembered how much she loathed what she called excuse minutes was two minutes later than he should be. No excuses.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart" he offered plaintively, puppy dog eyes in place. She narrowed her eyes again, arms folded across the front of her tasteful, just above the knee grey 'd mentioned her dress color more than once, hinting that she'd be happy to see him wear something complimentary, and so far, so good. At least to his eye. She was giving him the once over, and it looked like he was about to get the unofficial seal of approval. . Until something made her slightly freckled, upturned nose twitch briefly,and her small mouth turn down at the corners. "What?" he asked.

"That tie." she said and pointed a carefully manicured finger in the general direction of his neck.

"What's wrong with it?" he asked carefully.

She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "You know how I feel about used clothing."

Tony smirked. "I do. Obviously I don't share your opinion. " he said evenly. " And a vintage 1955 Sulka silk tie isn't exactly what I would call 'used clothing'. " he added.

She wrinkled her nose again. " Giving it another name doesn't change what it is. Used. Worn by someone else." she said. "That can't possibly be hygenic."

He bit back a reply when she smoothed her perfectly manicured left hand over one of his lapels, carefully avoiding the unhygenic, worn by someone else necktie, and when she smiled at him sweetly, black eyes shining like polished onyx, he forgot what he was going to say, and instead thought about how nice those 2 carats with a carat and a half worth of baguettes in a 14k diamonique setting currently residing in a velvet box in his gun safe back in DC would look on that silm, tanned hand.

"I do approve of this suit, though. " she purred and he slid his arms around her whippet like figure. In her heels, she had about an inch or so on him, height-wise. At first, that annoyed him a bit, but they'd discussed it like adults and decided it was okay. Of course, the discussion only lasted five minutes because he hated, hated, hated 'discussing things like adults', so much he decided that relenting was simply easier. He had no problem with serious discusisons about important, life altering things like family and investments and health insurance and children and film. But long, detailed discussions about which pair of shoes to wear, and the merits of brussels sprouts over broccoli were entirely another. She'd once spent fifteen minutes in the frozen food aisle debating that with him, and he hadn't been near a grocery store with her since.

He supposed the apparent need to analyze everything and then analyze the analyis was second nature to her as an attorney. And it was true that he'd spent a huge chunk of his adult life actively avoiding serious discussions about anything. But the new, adult Tony DiNozzo was certain there had to be a happy medium in there somewhere, and if he wanted to make a life with Faith, he'd have to find it. So she wasn't spontaneous. There were worse things in life.

."If you wrinkle this dress.." she began but made no attempt to remove his hands.

" If I wrinkle this dress, you'll get it dry cleaned. " Tony countered, hoping to head off a full blown OCD episode.

She'd spent most of their second date apologizing for her wrinkled outfit. He hadn't noticed, but she kept mentioning it to the point where his right eye began to twitch. Of course, they'd had a lengthy discussion about it, during which she revealed she'd been in therapy for the last 15 years. Having spent a fair amount of time on the couch himself, who was he to judge?Besides, they had sex on their first date.

Nice sex. Good sex, that while slightly...well, mechanical, for lack of a better word, still felt different enough to stand out from the string of meaningless flings, affairs, and one night stands he'd had the past year,not to mention the stuff from the past that fell into unclassifiable territory, like EJ. . He'd put a part of himself away this past year, locked it up tight with no intention of ever reaching it again. If he wanted a life like other people had, and he did,the locked up part of him wasn't going to have much to say about it. He could get that life that other people had, maybe not in exactly the way he'd always thought it would happen,but meeting Faith convinced him that it was still possible, it just involved some compromising. It also convinced him that putting that part of himself away for good was the right decision. He could have what other people had, and what he wanted, too. A home, a family, the whole package. A few compromises in return for that chance sounded like a decent enough deal for a 40 something year old near burn out with a string of failed relationships behind him. So it wasn't the happy ending he'd always pictured, but it was good enough. It would have to be.

He watched her eyes darken again, the internal conflict twisted her small features for a moment, and then she swallowed hard, twice, before nodding weakly. "Right." she agreed with a thin smile.

It reminded him that he wasn't the only 40 something year old doing some compromising these days. The precise, tidy kiss that followed was interrtupted by he sound of a familiar voice from behind him and he steeled himself briefly, winked at Faith and then turned around, careful not to wrinkle her dress anymore than necessary. He heard her make a tiny clucking sound with her tongue and knew she was desperately trying to smooth out wrinkles that existed mostly in her head, not on her dress. He ignored it, in spite of the quizzical look on Anthony Di Nozzo's Sr's face.

"Good to see you, Dad." Tony said, a little too brightly, trying to block a fussing Faith from view with his moved his gaze from the woman smoothing her hands over her dress and mumbling quietly to his son, and the puzzled look changed to the full blown Di Nozzo grin, original version.

"You look terrific, Junior." Senior said and embraced his son. He pulled back and gave Tony the once over, twice. "Seriously, terrific. Tanned. Fit. 10 years younger, kid." he said.

Tony smirked. "I was aiming for 15, but thanks. " he said, embarrassed by the compliment. He and Senior rarely did compliments,in spite of their recently improved relationship.

Senior chuckled and gave Tony a pat on the shoulder. "Love the tie. Sulka?" he asked and leaned in for a closer inspection.

" Of course. " Tony nodded and hoped there were no mentions of used clothing in his future. "How's Linda, Dad?" he said quickly, just in case.

"Oh she's great, kid. Just great. You'll be able to see for yourself in a bit. She had a fundraising thing here for one of her charities. That's why I suggested we meet here. Not to mention the Pierre has a great restaurant, too. Love this old place, been coming here for years." he added and Tony nodded. "You two get settled okay? The room all right?" Senior wondered .

Faith looked up quickly and moved to stand next to Tony, straightening to her full height. "I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure it's lovely. " Faith said and extended her hand. "How are you, Dad? You're looking pretty fit yourself." she said sweetly. Senior and Faith had met once before, during his last visit to DC, and Faith had made the suggestion about calling him Dad,to avoid confusion between Junior and Senior, or so she said. Senior wasn't crazy about the idea, but went along with it after seeing how hard Tony was trying to make whatever it was they had between them work. He had a strange feeling about this evening, a feeling that began when Junior called last week and asked them to meet for dinner. He hoped he was wrong about that feeling, whatever it was. He smiled his best DiNozzo smile and ignored Faith's extended hand. He opened his arms for an embrace, and Tony winced when he gave her full on Senior hug. More imaginary wrinkle smoothing to let her go when her long body remained rigid,except for the brief pat she gave his back. He smiled at her, determined to make this work, for Tony's sake. She seemed like a nice enough girl, maybe a little odd now and then, but really, who wasn't?

"How are you, dear?" he asked and she couldn't help but give her dress a brief run with one hand while she smiled.

" Just fine, thanks. Things are humming along at the new practice. " she said.

Faith had recently taken her twenty years and retired from the Navy JAG office to begin private practice with a presitigious Georgetown firm. She picked a bit of non existent lint off Senior's shoulder. Senior looked puzzled again and Tony moved quickly to fill in the silence.

" She's got 8 cases going full steam ahead already. I'm sure she'll be asked about a Partnership in no time." he said proudly .

Faith stuck out her chin and stood a little straighter, a genuine smile on her face this time. "I doubt it. " she said .

Senior smiled. " I've learned to trust my son's opinion, hon. Junior usually knows what he's talking about. Good for you. It sounds like you're adjusting to civilian life nicely. " the older man said kindly.

"She is. Like a champ." Tony replied. Senior nodded at his son, who really did look terrific. Fit and tan and dressed to the nines in one of his bespoke suits. But those eyes though. Something was off. Wrong. Damn it. He made a mental note to find out about that before Tony flew back to DC. He put his hand on Tony's shoulder.

"How about a cocktail before dinner? " he suggested. "Linda should be here soon, but I can leave a message at the front desk for her." he said .

Tony glanced at Faith, who nodded. "That would be fine." she said and Senior grinned.

"Excellent. You two go on ahead. Junior knows what I like. " he winked .

Tony smirked. " I certainly do. " he agreed. " We'll see you there. " he said.

Senior nodded. "I won't be but a minute." he said and watched them head off together.

Tony knew what his father liked in a cocktail,and Senior knew what his son liked in women. And aside from the dark hair and dark eyes, he wasn't seeing any of those things in Faith. Something was off about this. Definitely. But if Junior was happy, maybe he should just stay out of it. He'd opened his mouth more than once about Wendy, and a lot more than that about Ziva, and look where both those relationships ended. He sighed and shook his head. He was absolutely certain she had been THE ONE, in capital letters. He never did get all the details about exactly what happened there, but given the way everyone at NCIS acted when he brought up her name,he decided against asking about it. He should have pushed it with Tony, though. He noticed the pain and denial he'd been in since that final trip to Israel, but he'd been so wrapped up in wedding plans, and starting his new life with Linda, things just sort of slipped away. He shouldn't have let that happen. They were working on things, trying to communicate, to keep up the still tentative at times trust building between them. He shook his head again and moved across the lobby to the front desk, still wondering how he'd failed to notice that dull, lifeless look hiding behind the DiNozzo smile when he heard a soft 'oomph' and realized he'd been thinking deeply enough not to notice a person standing in front of him. A person he nearly knocked over. A woman person. He bent down to help her retrieve her dropped cell phone and purse just as she did the same, and they nearly bumped heads.

"I am so sorry. " he said quickly and handed her the cell phone and purse.

"No problem." a soft, slightly accented voice replied and Senior's head shot up so quickly, it nearly bumped hers again.

"Ziva?" he asked.

He didn't have to ask again when the top of her dark head tilted up to reveal her face.

" Yes, Mr DiNozzo. It is still me." she replied. Senior grinned and helped her stand.

"Ziva. Sweetheart. Mr DiNozzo? Really?" he asked and held onto her hands. He watched her golden skin tinge with pink.

" I was not sure what I should call you. It has been a long time." she said carefully.

He nodded. "It has. And I didn't think it was possible, but you are more stunning than ever. " he said and studied her appearance carefully. She was modestly dressed, in a simple black blazer, crisp white shirt and a slim black pencil skirt. Her hair was scraped back in a severe bun, but her face positively glowed, golden skinned and clear eyed.. He smiled again just looking at her.

" You are always so kind, thank you. How have you been? You look marvelous " she asked and he beamed.

" Sweetheart, I'm happier than I've been in years. Decades. Not since my Elizabeth was alive, rest her soul. " he mused. "Married life suits me, I think. " he added and her shining, mahogany eyes widened.

" You have married again? " she asked and tightened her hands around his. "Mazel tov." she added and leaned forward to kiss both of his cheeks.

"Thank you, Sweetheart. " he said quietly. "I would love for you to meet my wife. Why don't you come and join us for a drink? Tony is here and.."

" I cannot. " she cut in before he could finish, her smile fading. "I am already a bit late for an appointment. But thank you for the offer" she added and let go of his hands. "I am sure she is wonderful. She would have to be to make you so happy. " she smiled again but it didn't reach her eyes.

" She is. But I'm not an objective opinion. " Senior smiled. " So maybe another time, then? " he pressed. " Send me your contact information. You still have my email address, don't you?" he asked, but she was already backing away.

" Stay happy, sweet man. Take care of yourself. " she said and kissed the tips of her fingers and blew him a kiss before she turned away and walked quickly across the lobby.

He watched until she was out of sight and then shook his head sadly. He knew things were bad after Tony's return from that last trip to Israel, when he couldn't even stand to hear the mention of Ziva's name. Things weren't much better on that front even now, so Senior learned not to broach the subject at all anymore. Apparently, things were the same for Ziva, if the way she froze and then ran the minute Tony's name was mentioned was any indication. Damn. What the hell had really happened over there? And what was she doing back here in the States?He shook his head again and then remembered he was actually on the way to do something before he nearly ran over Ziva, so he turned towards the front desk, but stopped when a soft pair of hands covered his eyes from behind.

"I saw you watching that brunette in the heels and tight skirt Di Nozzo." a slightly husky, very familiar voice whispered next to his ear and he grinned.

" Busted." he said and took the hands off his eyes before turning around. Linda Turner DiNozzo smiled back at him, a playful twinkle in her warm brown eyes. ]

"So. " she began and tapped her index finger against Senior's chin. " Apparently, it's not safe to leave you alone for five minutes. " she teased and lowered her gaze.

Senior clasped his hands around hers and held them against his chest." If I thought you meant that, I'd suggest you never do it again. Hell, I'll suggest it even if you didn't mean that." he said and leaned in for a kiss. "How was the event?" he asked.

Linda smiled and wiped a bit of her lipstick off his face. " It went very well,I think, at least so far. Technically, it's not over yet, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any were running a bit late, so I'm missing the last guest obviously, you didn't." she smirked and Senior looked confused.

"I don't get it." he said and Linda laughed.

" The brunette you were watching? She's the last guest speaker. " she explained and Senior's eyes widened.

"Ziva?" he asked and Linda's smile faded.

" I believe that's her name, yes. Ziva David. They had a picture of her posted in the main room, and I recognized her. Do you know her?" she asked and Senior sighed.

" I do. Or rather Tony does. Did. " he explained. "It's complicated. " he added and Linda nodded.

"Sounds like it. Is she the one?" she wondered. " The one you mentioned that Tony doesn't talk about?" she added and Senior nodded.

" Yes. And I ran into her completely by accident just now, and asked her if she wanted to join us for a drink." he explained. "And the minute I mentioned Tony's name, she shut down and ran. " he sighed again.

Linda frowned. " Oh, dear. " she said and smoothed her hand down his cheek. "Perhaps it's for the best that she did. Tonight wouldn't be the best time for a reunion, would it?" she asked.

Senior nodded. " You're right. But I can't help feeling like I should do something about this. " he said and linked her hand through his arm.

Linda smiled. " I think you're right about that part. You should. And you can start by telling me all about it later. After we get through tonight. " she added. Linda had also met Faith before, and came away as confused about her relationship with Tony as her husband.

Senior grinned. " That's a promise. " he said.

"A couple of shots of liquid courage first, though." she agreed as they headed for the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN:Thanks for the reviews and follows!

"Are you sure about this?" Tony asked several hours later as the evening was breaking up."It's still pretty early.". He thought dinner went okay, better than he expected, but not without it's hinky moments, particularly after Linda knocked over a glass of tonic water and some of it splashed on Faith's dress. The ensuing ordering of sodium free soda water (any other kind leaves a ring) and patting with a cloth napkin, (not rubbing and never with a paper napkin. The lint it leaves behind is unbelievable) and then the careful placement of another, fresh cloth napkin( brought by an overworked busboy) underneath the spot until it dried took up a full twenty minutes and the entire first course.

"Positive, Junior." Senior said and took Linda's hand as she rose from her chair

" We're not as young as you two, remember?" Linda reminded Tony, who smirked.

" Oh please." he said. "Like I'm buying that." he added, a little desperately, Senior thought. He smiled and put his hand on Tony's shoulder for a moment before embracing him.

"Maybe we want some time alone, kid. Ever think of that?" he said and Tony smirked again.

"Now THAT, I'll believe." he said and there was laughter all around.

" I'm guessing we're not the only ones looking forward to a little time alone together. " Linda suggested with a smile just as Faith returned from the Ladies room. Tony put his arm around Faith's waist.

" Unfortunately, it looks like that's going to have to wait." Faith announced and Tony turned to face her.

" What?" he asked and she held up her Iphone.

" Warren just texted me. " she said and Tony curled his lip. Warren was one of the Senior Partners who drove a vintage Bentley and fancied himself a modern day Oscar Wilde in bespoke clothing. Underwear included, as he liked to announce to anyone who cared to listen. Tony met him once, at Faith's Welcome to the Firm Party,and silently mind tagged him as an asshole. It didn't help that Warren was also several times divorced, and his oldest kid and Faith's oldest kid were best friends who were forever trying to play matchmaker for their parents. Faith's oldest kid was 16, named Charity, and she hated Tony. He hadn't met her other two kids in person yet;they were both currently living with their respective fathers, but he'd sat in on a couple of Faith's Skype sessions with them, and their reactions to him veered between outright hostility and ignoring him completely.

"And?" Tony asked and Faith shrugged.

"And...I'm heading back to DC tonight. One of our biggest clients requested an early morning meeting tomorrow. I've already booked a flight out of JFK . " she said and Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead.

" I guess I shouldn't ask if you can possibly go back tomorrow morning, should I?" he wondered.

"No can do. I need to get home and look over some contracts. I'm sorry about this, really. " she glanced at Senior and Linda and then back at Tony.

Senior smiled, "Perfectly all right. You're the new kid on the block. I understand about wanting to make a good impression." he said and Linda nodded.

"Of course. I'm just sorry you two won't get to spend more time together. " she said .

Faith nodded. "So am I. But Tony understands. He knows about important my career is to me. And we'll have other times." she added and looked at Tony.

"Sure we will. Of course we will. " he said flatly. Apparently, Faith didn't notice the tone of his voice, or if she did, she chose to ignore it.

"It's a good thing I forgot my suitcase in the car, I guess. Maybe it was an omen. " she mused. " Honey, could you be a love and go down to the car and.." she began.

"Sure. Of course." Tony snapped and Faith put her hand on his arm.

" You're angry." she said in a low voice. " When you get back to DC, we need to have a long, honest talk about this. " she said and it took every ounce of self control Tony had not to roll his eyes.

He bit back the reply on the tip of his tongue and merely nodded. "Sure. Of course. " he said and turned to his father. " Breakfast tomorrow?" he asked and Senior smiled.

"You bet, kid. Have a good night, son." he said as they embraced. He drew back and Tony reached for Linda's hand.

"Good night. Thanks for everything." he said quietly. Linda smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

" Thank you for including me. " she said and Tony smiled genuinely and kissed the back of her hand before releasing it. He glanced over his shoulder at Faith.

" I'll meet you by the front door." he said and then walked away. Faith nodded and then sighed and shook her head when he was gone.

"I really am sorry about this." she told Senior and Linda.

"Of course you are, dear. I'm sure Tony understands. " she said, even though it was pretty clear how upset he was about it.

Faith nodded again. "He does. After all, I'm not the only one who gets called away . We had an work thing with my colleagues last weekend. One of those team building workshop things, you know?" she asked and Linda nodded. "Well I wasn't the one who got called away smack dab in the middle of the seminar on trust building exercises." she continued. " Another murder case, and of course I understand how important that is." she added. "But he had the weekend OFF." she emphasized the word. "If they'd just done the smart thing and replaced that woman who left them in the lurch with someone competent, they wouldn't be in this situation." Bishop had been taken off the team and sent back to the NSA after a wrong move in the field caused an injury to another agent. Gibbs was still fighting to get her back, but Vance wasn't having any of it, and Bishop had decided that NCIS wasn't for her, anyway. So the team was operating one agent short for the time being.

Linda noticed the tone of voice used for the 'that woman who left them in the lurch' bit and made a mental note to discuss it with her husband later. " I'm sure they'll find a replacement soon." she said and Faith rolled her eyes.

"I'm not sure what's so difficult, to tell you the truth. They're basically cops, correct? There must be any number of competent people who could easily do the job. We're not talking about brain surgery here, am I right? " she asked and then made a clucking noise with her tongue. " It's not fair to shove it all off on Tony. But he won't dare complain." she said and immediately paused, as if she just realized she may have said too much. She smiled quickly. " I should get moving. I have so much to do before tomorrow." she said and embraced Senior quickly and stiffly. " Thanks for the lovely evening, Dad. We'll have to do this again sometime soon. "

Senior nodded and gave her a smile he didn't really mean. " Of course, dear. I'll look forward to it. We both will, won't we darling?" he asked Linda.

" Absolutely. " Linda said with a smile she also didn't mean. " Have a safe trip dear. " she said and Faith leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Thank you. You two enjoy the rest of your evening." she said. Linda nodded and watched as Faith fussed with the phantom tonic water spot on her dress for a moment before walking way, eyes on her cell phone.

Linda exhaled. "Is it wrong that I'm glad that part of the evening is over?" she asked .

Senior chuckled. "If you're wrong, so am I. Because I was just thinking the same thing. She seems like a nice enough woman, but honestly, something about her is absolutely exhausting." he said .

Linda nodded. "Agreed. And did you hear that tone she used when she talked about Ziva?" she asked. "I mean, she was referring to Ziva, wasn't she? She is the 'woman who left them in the lurch' isn't she?" Linda asked .

Senior nodded. " Yes. She was Tony's partner for 8 years." he confirmed "Yeah. I noticed the tone of her voice, too. It makes me wonder how much she knows about what went on between Tony and Ziva. I can't imagine he told her much of anything. " he said.

Linda nodded again. " Speaking of that. How about we go upstairs and get cozy...and then you can tell me exactly what went on between Tony and Ziva. " Linda offered with a smile.

" Best offer I've had all day, kid." he said with a smile. He drew her hand through the crook of his arm and headed them towards the elevators. Linda glanced across the lobby to the front door while they waited for the elevator and watched as Tony arrived with the suitcase . Faith looked up from her phone to pat him on the cheek before heading outside.

"Something is not quite right there, Sweetie. " Linda remarked and gestured to the front door. Senior turned his head just in time to see a blank faced Tony following Faith out the front door.

"I know. And I'm not sure what to do about it." he said as the elevator arrived. Linda tightened her hold on his arm as they stepped inside the car.

" Yes, of course. I'll call or text the minute I land. Promise." Faith said as the Doorman hailed a taxi for her.

"And you're sure you don't want me to come to the airport with you?" Tony asked.

Faith lowered her gaze. "For what? You'll only have to come back here again. If you wanted to fly back with me, you should have told me sooner." she said. " Stay here and have a good time with your Father and Stepmother. I'll see you when you get back. Are you sure you're all right?" she wondered, but didn't wait for his response because a cab pulled up to the curb just at that moment. She reached up and patted his cheek. " I'll see you soon." she said and gave him a quick, tidy kiss on the mouth before folding her long body inside the back seat of the taxi. The doorman put her suitcase in the trunk and then closed the door for her. She waved at Tony as the cab pulled away, phone already at her ear and Tony sighed, handed the door man a tip and nodded his thanks. He walked back inside the hotel, and was about to head over to the elevator when he decided no, he wasn't quite ready to call it a night just alone in a dark hotel room was a little too depressing to think about right now. A nightcap sounded like just the thing to take the edge off, and he turned left and headed for the bar instead.

" Room 612. Right here. " the bellhop opened the door with the key card and set the small overnight bag on the luggage rack next to the bed. He turned around and smiled. "If you need anything at all..." he pointed to the phone on the nightstand. Ziva nodded politely and handed him a tip. He thanked her, and then left and closed the door behind him.

She glanced around the room and sighed. It was beautifully decorated in elegant teal and cream colors, quiet,plush and luxurious,complete with a view of Central Park. Normally not the kind of place she would choose to stay, but it was only overnight, and her early morning meeting tomorrow at the UN Plaza was within walking distance. She walked over to the window and reached into her jacket pocket for her phone.

Her call rang several times before a familiar voice on the other end said "Yes? Zivaleh?" and Ziva smiled. Dodah Nettie always spoke extra loud on the phone

" Yes, you expecting someone else? Louis perhaps?" she teased and heard the older woman make a harrumphing noise on the other end. Ziva liked to tease her Aunt about her new Mahjong partner, a lovely man who had taken a shine to her Aunt.

" You are not as funny as you like to think you are, my girl. " Nettie said, and Ziva chuckled.

" Of course not, Dodah." she said. "How are things there? Has Adina returned yet?" she asked.

"Yes, a few minutes ago. She mentioned that Aaron was asking after you. Again." she said pointedly and Ziva smirked.

"That is nice. " she said vaguely and heard her Aunt sigh.

" And your talk ? It went well, yes?" Nettie asked. " I hope so, Aunt. " Ziva replied.

" They seemed to be listening,but we'll see soon enough, I suppose." she said and Nettie made a clucking sound with her tongue.

"You. Always so worried, and then the donations come pouring in. I am certain it will happen this time, too. " she said firmly and Ziva laughed again.

"Thank you, Dodah. God willing." she said. "And everything else? Quiet?" she asked.

" Yes. Quiet, darling. No problems at worrying and try to enjoy yourself. The hotel is beautiful. I looked at it on the computer. Relax for once." Nettie urged.

" I will try, Dodah. And I will be home tomorrow . You will call if.."

"Of course I will." Nettie cut in. " Adina showed me how to text, so perhaps I will test it out on only if I have to." she added and Ziva chuckled.

" Thank you, Dodah. Good night. " she said.

"Goodnight, darling. Do not worry, and enjoy yourself. Laila Tov." Nettie said and Ziva chuckled when she heard her Aunt fumbling and muttering in the background as she searched for the end call key. She finally found it and Ziva put the phone back in her pocket and turned her gaze back to the view from the window.

She felt almost as nervous now as she had been while giving her speech. She had adjusted to the public speaking part of her job, and had learned to almost be comfortable with ii. Until today, that is. Thankfully,she had a habit of bringing along a printed copy of her speech, and for the first time in a long time, she had to use it. Standing in that ballroom, facing that room full of people, all she could think of was that chance meeting in the hotel lobby.

Seeing Mr DiNozzo rattled her so much that the speech she had worked on for a week was wiped completely from her consciousness,replaced at first by absolutely nothing, and then later, after she made it through the speech, the flashes of memory began.A hotel in Paris. Another in Berlin. An olive grove in Israel. A shipping container, a red convertible on the Sunset Strip. Ari with a bullet in his brain. Somalia. She leaned her forehead against the cool window glass and took several, deep breaths. One of the tricks she learned during those post Somalia months of therapy, from of all people, the substitute covering for her on vacation regular therapist.

Concentrate on your own breathing, clean fresh air in, bad stale air out. It was ridiculously simple, but it worked. It forced her to focus on something other than her memories. She was so busy these days that she rarely had to use this trick, but at least this time, she knew what triggered the trip down memory lane. In those weeks and months after Somalia, and then again after Eli's death, she had fallen back on this simple trick more often than she cared to admit, but in the last year, not nearly so often. Today was the first time in many months. Some of the other tricks she had developed did not come from her therapist, but were simply her own way of coping with all the changes in her life.

While all the changes had been big ones, not all of them were bad. Some were good. The best. The very things she wished for, but did not dare to dream about when she set out on this journey of self discovery and salvation. And then, there were changes that were not so good .Other things she wished and hoped for and actually managed to get for what felt like merely a moment, and now were out of reach, completely due to her own mistakes.. She took that responsibility immediately, and carried it with her ever since.. Her journey of self discovery had taken her to many places. Some good, some bad, some horrific. It brought her heartache and pain, and a small sense of redemption. There was also much joy, and a sense of peace and happiness she had rarely known in her former life, along with the comfort of knowing that she made the right decision when it came to giving up her former profession..

What she did not realize back then was how much other decisions would cost her. A part of her heart that would never be the same again. That was one more trick she taught herself after therapy. Tuck away the good memories; and hide the damaged parts that would likely never heal. Lock them up tight where they could not hurt anymore and move forward. She could have a life like other people had. A life with love and peace and happiness, a life she could be proud of. Perhaps not in the same way she once thought it might happen, but compromise was something she was used other parts of her heart were so full, that locked up, never to be used again part would hardly be missed. She took another deep, cleansing breath. There. Much better. If it were earlier in the evening, she might consider going out for a run. But perhaps she could settle for the next best thing and do some time on the treadmill. She removed her phone from her jacket pocket and set it down on a nearby table. Another trick she'd taught herself years ago:exercise was an excellent distraction.

"And that's the bare bones of it." Senior said and idly twirled the brandy snifter in his hand.

Linda sighed. " How sad. It sounds like one missed chance after another. How did they let it all go so wrong?" she asked and Senior shrugged.

" I would never tell this to Tony, but honestly? I lay part of the blame on Gibbs." he said. " Now, I realize that we're talking about two adults here, adults who can make their own decisions. But Gibbs and his rules..." he sighed and shook his head.

" I'm not really clear about that part. " Linda confessed. "I take it there's an NCIS rule about co-workers getting involved?" she asked and Senior shook his head again.

"I thought the same thing, until I did some checking. Apparently, there is no official rule against it. Just a Gibbs rule." he air quoted Gibbs name. "And all of them worship that man so much, Tony included.." Linda put her hand on her husband's shoulder. "I know that he's done a lot for Tony. And if I'm being honest, he's been more of a father to him than I was. " he admitted.

"You're making up for that now, though. That matters." Linda said and Senior shrugged.

"I hope so." he mused. " I'm certain that part of the reason I feel this way is jealousy. I'm jealous of the way my son respects Gibbs. I hope someday I'll earn a little of that respect from him myself. " he continued. " But I also know my son. He doesn't go on suicide missions for just anyone. " he added and Linda frowned.

" Suicide missions? You mean, the rescue mission you talked about ? In Somalia?" she asked and Senior nodded.

" That one. Did I mention that when he went on that mission he believed Ziva was dead?" he asked and Linda's warm brown eyes widened.

" No. You didn't. Oh my." she said and linked her fingers with his.

" I only heard about all of this after the fact, of course, but Mc Gee told me something I've never forgotten. " he said. " He told me that the terrorist holding Ziva captive shot Tony full of truth serum and tied him to a chair. " Senior began. " And when he couldn't get anything out of Tony, he brought in another prisoner, a starved, beaten little wisp with a bag over her head. " he said.

"Ziva?" Linda asked and Senior nodded. "Ziva. They threw her in the chair and pulled the bag off her head, and when Saleem left them alone to choose between them who would live and who would die, Mc Gee said she asked Tony why he was there. And his answer? "Couldn't live without you, I guess. " he sighed and so did Linda.

"Oh my. " she said again. "If it weren't so sad, I'd think it was most the romantic thing I'd ever heard. " she said. "You would think something like that would be enough to make them realize ...They weren't together, even after all that?" she asked and Senior shook his head.

" Nope. Ziva had some issues after her return. Flashbacks, that kind of thing. She was in therapy for awhile, and I guess neither of them felt it was the right time. " he said. "And then each of them got involved with other people, and that chance slipped away. " he continued.

" What happened there?" Linda wondered.

" The Agent Tony was involved in got him tangled up in a mess. I don't know all the details, but from what I can tell from the little Tony told me, it was never really serious. Ziva, though..she was nearly engaged to someone else." he said. "And it ended very badly. The guy turned out to be a killer, although I don't know all the details. " he continued.

"Oy. What else could happen to these two?" Linda wondered and Senior smirked.

" How much time have you got, honey?" he asked. "Seriously, I'm sure I don't even know the half of it, this is just what I've managed to find out from Tony, and some bits and pieces along the way from Mc Gee . " he added ."But I do know that they were getting closer after NCIS HQ was bombed. " he said and Linda nodded

"I remember seeing that on the news. They were lucky to survive that. " she said and Senior nodded.

" They were and I believe they knew it. I saw how close they were after that, and I thought: Finally, these two have pulled their heads out of their asses. " he continued.

"But then, Ziva's father was murdered, and I think...I don't know." he paused and regarded their linked hands in silence for a moment. "I think it was all too much for Ziva. That was the beginning of the end for them. " he said sadly. "They ended up turning in their badges and Ziva went to Israel. Tony went after her, but he came back alone.I tried to get him to open up about it. But all he would say was 'She made her choice, and it wasn't me. '. After Faith showed up in his life, I decided not to bring it up again. But seeing how Tony is with Faith, and then seeing Ziva..." he began and then shook his head. "I should just stay out of it." he decided. "Shouldn't I? " he added.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Linda wondered with a little smirk.

" Both, I think." Senior admitted and she laughed.

" How about you let me in on this one? Let me do a little digging about Ziva before we do anything. Lauren Stewart made the arrangements, I'll see if I can find out anything from her." she said and Senior grinned.

" Sounds like a plan. And the sooner, the better. Did I tell you what Tony asked me tonight?" he offered and Linda frowned.

"No, I don't so. What?" she asked.

"He asked if 2 carats was too big to be considered tasteful. " he replied and Linda's eyes widened again.

"Oh, brother. " she said .

" He's engagement ring shopping, apparently. " Senior said with a sigh.

Linda nodded. "Sounds like it. " she said. "All the more reason for me to find out what I can." she said.

Tony finished the last few drops of the amber liquid in the glass before he set it down again. He 'd probably feel that second one in the morning. His new lifestyle meant he hadn't had anything more potent than a random glass of wine or the occasional light beer in months. He told himself he'd climb right back on the clean, lean lifestyle wagon in the morning, but tonight, he was going to splurge a little. A sort of celebration of how well things went this evening, even if the ending didn't turn out quite the way he planned. He'd booked one of the nicer suites, with plans on spending a romantic couple of days here, but it looked like he was headed back to DC as soon as he could book a flight. So much for making plans. He never did have much luck with plans. Or lists. Or rules.

He tossed a bill on the bar and got to his feet. It was still fairly early by NYC standards, not even midnight yet, and he did want to wait up for Faith's call. He decided a little walking tour of this newly renovated Hotel would kill some time, and he wandered out of the bar, past the restaurant and then a small lounge where a quartet was playing something familiar. He paused for a moment to figure out the tune..A trip to the moon on gossamer wings. Just one of those things. He smirked a little. Gossamer wings. He was familiar with the sentiment. He resumed his walking tour, around the elegantly appointed lobby with it's distinctive black and white floor and noticed a sign :Pierre Fitness Center. He'd been thinking about skipping his work out for a couple of days, and perhaps he still would, but it couldn't hurt to take a peek at the facilities. He wandered down the hallway towards the glass front doors.

As Ziva hit mile number 5 on the treadmill, she felt clearheaded again. Focused. Another mile or two and she would head upstairs for a long soak in that big marble tub while she went over her notes for tomorrow's meeting. She adjusted the settings on the treadmill and concentrated on nothing but the sound of her own breathing,and the thump thump of her feet landing squarely on rubber tread over and over again.

Tony took a brief look around through the glass front door. Not bad. Some weight lifting equipment, the usual treadmills and standard exercise machines. Maybe he'd drop in tomorrow morning before check out, just to keep from losing any ground. A flash of something bright hit the corner of his eye, and he turned his gaze slightly. Neon green running shoes moving smoothly on a treadmill. Neon green shoes on a brunette. A brunette wearing black knee length spandex and a grey tank top that exposed smooth golden skinned arms and shoulders, her hair scraped back in a severe bun at the back of her head. He willed his stupidly racing heart to function normally again.

Breathe, DiNozzo. There must be 2 million brunettes in this town who look like that. He could only see the back of her, but that ass...No. Damn it. He'd done this for months after returning from Israel, convincing himself that every slim bodied brunette with an epic ass was her. Until it wasn't, and the crushing sense of sorrow and loss came flooding back all over again. Nope, not this time. Not allowed himself a final glance at that lovely, epic ass before turning on his heel and down the hallway towards the elevator. All of a sudden, a quiet, dark hotel room was exactly where he wanted to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tony had trouble sleeping that night for the first time in months, even after two fingers of scotch. He didn't really think it was something to worry about, just a reaction to mistaking a stranger for someone he used to know.A consequence of spending an unexpected night alone, that's all. He'd expected to be spending a romantic night with his about to be fiancee instead of all alone in an oversized King bed staring at a very nicely decorated ceiling. Maybe he should have walked into that workout room last night, just to prove to himself that he was only imagining things, again. Instead, he convinced himself that a morning workout would do him a lot of good, but deep down in the place where he would only occasionally admit things to himself, that part of him knew that the trip to the workout room was more about hoping for another glimpse of that brunette than it was about trying to keep himself in shape.

A couple of rounds with the heavy bag and and 2 miles on the treadmill and a sauna later, and there was no sign of that brunette anywhere. By the time he was showered and changed and waiting for his Father in the restaurant, he was nearly convinced that he'd imagined the entire thing. And then,while polishing off his third cup of coffee, he saw something.

The back of a head. Lush, curly brunettte hair cascading halfway down a slim back. A slim back wearing a grey jacket and a tight grey pencil skirt with black stiletto heels The headful of glorious hair moved briskly across the lobby towards the front door, along with the slim, curvaceous body it was attached to and there was that ass again. And there was his damned traitorous heart, racing a mile a minute again. Breathe, Di Nozzo. Breathe. He rose to his feet, fully intending to sprint across that lobby and..

"Junior?" His Father's voice cut right through the sound of blood rushing in his ears and he stopped halfway out of his chair and turned his head to look at Senior, whose face was full of concern. "Are you all right, son? You look like you've seen a ghost." he said and put his hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony looked at his Father blankly for a moment, then blinked and realized he was acting like an idiot. Chasing ghosts, indeed.

He forced a smile. "What? Oh sure. I'm fine. " he said a little too quickly and sat down again. "Sit. Have some coffee." he said.

" Am I keeping you? You looked like you were about to run out of here." Senior said and narrowed his eyes.

Tony smirked. " Okay, you caught me. I thought I saw someone I used to know." he said and Senior paused, eyes widened.

" A female someone?" he wondered, even though he knew the answer already. He'd seen Ziva walking across the lobby just as he was entering the restaurant.

"Yes. But I'm sure I was wrong, there's no way it could..let's just forget it, okay? I'm thinking about the stuffed French toast. " he said and handed Senior a menu.

Senior took the menu and sat down tentatively. "Are you sure you're.." he began and Tony looked up from the menu he hadn't really been reading.

"Fine. I'm fine, Pop. Really." he said calmly and Senior nodded and sat back in his chair."Where's Linda?" Tony wondered .

" Oh, she had a last minute thing with the Charity people from last night. She said she'd join us when she was through. " That part was only sort of untrue. Linda was upstairs in their room, making phone calls to fellow Charity Committee members to see what she could find out about Ziva.

Tony nodded and then looked at his father carefully. " You look really happy, Dad. " he said in a soft voice and Senior smiled.

"I am, speaking of happy...have you heard from Faith?" he wondered and Tony nodded.

" I have. She sent me a text around midnight saying that she landed and was on her way to the office. " he said and Senior winced.

" Oh boy. Well, that's something you should be used to, I guess. Crazy work hours. " he said and Tony nodded again.

" I guess. So what do you think of Faith, Dad? " he asked suddenly.

" I think she's lovely, son. Very attractive. " Senior said. " Oh, they have Eggs in Purgatory. Your Nonna used to make that. " he mused.

"I remember. " Tony said " So, you think she's lovely and attractive and?" he prodded and Senior looked up from the menu.

"And, what?" Senior wondered. " She's obviously very intelligent, she has a wonderful job, I'm not sure what else you want me to say, Junior." he said.

Tony paused for a moment while a busboy poured coffee. "How about, she's charming and witty and I think you've made a terrific choice, son." he offered.

Senior stirred his coffee for a moment. " A choice?" he asked, brow furrowed. " That's an odd turn of phrase, isn't it?" he asked and Tony shrugged.

" Maybe. And stop trying to dodge the question. " he watched as Senior took his first sip of coffee.

" I'm not. If you're happy with your choice? I'm happy for you. " he said and took another sip.

Tony narrowed his eyes. "That's what people always say when they're trying to be polite. I should know, I've used it myself. More times than I like to admit. " he said. " So she's a little quirky. There's nothing wrong with that. " he insisted.

"Is she? I hadn't noticed. "Senior remarked. "What's this meatless sausage like? Ever have it?" he asked.

Tony nodded. "Yes. It tasted exactly like the Library Paste I ate in second grade. Except with sage." he said. " And again with trying to change the subject. " he added suspiciously.

Senior chuckled. "I remember that. Someone dared you, didn't they?" he asked.

Tony smirked. "Yes. Leonard Apfeld. And he did it in front of Angela Fusillo, so I had no choice. I had to do it." he said .

Senior laughed harder. "Ah, Angela Fusillo. I remember her. Dark hair, big dark eyes. She was a cutie pie. " he said.

" She also kicked me in the nuts when I tried to hold her hand. And that was after eating the library paste. " Tony mused. " The start of a pattern for me, as it turns out. All these years later, and I'm still wondering about my taste in women." he added.

Senior shrugged. "I think you've been pretty consistent with your taste in women. Angela. Wendy, Faith. Except for that girl you brought home from boarding school, what was her name? The one with the..." he held his hands out a few inches from his chest.

"Yvette." Tony provided.

Senior nodded. "That's right, Yvette. She was the only blonde in the bunch. Although that Agent you told me about...AJ?" he offered "She was blonde, wasn't she?" he asked .

Tony smirked. "EJ. Yes. She was blonde She might very well still be, for all I know..But we were never really official. Yvette doesn't really count, either. She was technically a brunette. And don't ask me how I knew that." he added.

Senior chuckled."No problem. I think I can figure it out." he said.

"Good. So back to the subject at hand:" Tony countered.

"Meatless sausage? Library paste?"Senior asked and Tony snatched the menu from his Father's hands.

" Faith."he said in a low voice.

"What about her? " Senior wondered. "I told you I think she's very attractive. Also very intelligent, obviously. And the two of you seem to get along nicely, which is always a good thing." he continued.

"And?" Tony prompted.

"And, as I said a few seconds ago, I'm not sure what else you want me to say, son." he finished."If you're happy, I'm thrilled for you. " he added.

Tony rolled his eyes. "So, you don't think I'm happy?" he asked. " Well, I am. Very happy, " he insisted. "Faith is a terrific woman. Smart, sophisticated, a great mother.." he began.

" You mentioned having met one of her children." Senior cut in.

Tony nodded. "The oldest. Charity. She lives in DC." he said.

"And how did that go?" Senior wondered.

"Not great. " Tony admitted. "But she's 16 and Faith says she hates everyone and everything. Me included. I didn't take it personally. " Tony insisted, even though that wasn't really true. He wanted her kids to like him. Faith seemed to think it was a phase, and eventually she'd come around.

Senior frowned. " Oh. Well that can be a difficult age. I heard Faith mention that none of her children live with her.." he offered.

Tony nodded. " When she was with JAG she traveled a lot. It was easier on the kids to live with their fathers." he said.

"Fathers?" Senior asked .

Tony smirked. " Yes, Dad. Plural. She's been married 3 times." he said. Senior didn't have a leg to stand on in that department, so he merely nodded, though, he wondered if part of Tony's relationship with Faith was based on her ready made family. He'd chased the dream of home and family for years, since Elizabeth died, really. He'd done the very same thing. "Come on, Dad.. I need to know what you really think. It's important."Tony said.

"I think I'm going to have the Eggs in Purgatory. " Senior replied. "Beyond that, I'm sticking with my original answer. If you're happy, son, I'm happy for you." he said ."I need more coffee. " he turned to catch the atention of the busboy.

"So you don't like her." Tony said after the busboy departed.

Senior looked from stirring his coffee. "How did you get that out of what I said?" he wondered.

Tony shrugged. "It wasn't difficult. The next thing you'll say is 'what's important is that you like her, son,'" Tony mimicked his father's voice to perfection.

Senior brought the coffee cup to his lips. "That happens to be true, you know." he remarked casually.

"I am aware. " Tony said in a low voice. " I' m also aware that I don't need your permission, or even your approval. But I would like to have your blessing." he realized the implications behind that last bit the minute he said it. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"My blessing?" Senior asked.

Tony nodded. " I'm going to ask Faith to marry me." he said, and seemed to almost dare his Father to protest or complain. Senior wasn't about to do either. It wasn't his place. Not to mention that kind of reaction would only make Tony more determined to stick to his guns.

The older man smiled wide."That's terrific, Junior. Congratulations. "he said in as genuine a tone as he could manage. He got up from the table, walked around and faced his son. He waved his palm towards the ceiling and before Tony could react, he pulled his son to his feet and embraced him. " I hope you'll be as happy as Linda and I." he said and didn't have to try and fake the sincerity. He wanted his son to be happy. He'd always wanted that, no matter how many times it seemed like he couldn't care less. It took him years to admit his failings as a parent, to face up to the pain he'd caused his son, and if Faith was going to make him happy, he certainly wasn't going to stand in the way of that. But that IF was a big one. And he wasn't certain at all that this engagement was the right move.

He pulled back for a closer look at Tony's face, and any lingering doubts about questioning this relationship were gone. A casual observer would see a smiling, handsome, confident man when looking at Tony DiNozzo. But a more practiced eye, a Father's eye, would see something entirely different. The eyes, as usual, were the giveaway. No sparkle, no life, no joy, in spite of what the grinning mouth tried to insist. In truth, Tony's reaction to thinking he saw Ziva walking across the lobby just now was the first sign of genuine emotion he'd seen from his son in months. It was almost like he'd detached himself from his own life, and was now just a casual observer watching himself run on autopilot.

"That's the plan."Tony said, and Senior silently added his own 'no matter what' to the end of that tone of his son's voice implied just that. He was bound and determined to make the thing with Faith work, no matter what.

The logical part of Senior's brain told him to accept this and just be happy for his the bigger, less logical, hopeless romantic part of his heart wasn't about to take this lying down. Tony didn't have to know that yet, though. So he merely grinned and put one hand on Tony's cheek. "Buona Fortuna, figlio mio." he said and meant it. Whether or not that included Faith Coleman remained to be seen. Tony's smile was softer now, slightly less manic.

"Grazie, Pops." he said and Senior embraced him again. Damn it, Tony deserved happiness more than anyone. If he had to interfere to help him find it, so be it.

"Ahem."

Senior saw his wife standing next to them, smiling warmly, her eyes a little wet as she cleared her throat discreetly. Tony pulled back, slightly red faced at the very public and unexpected display of affection from his father.

" Don't mind us. Just doing a little father son bonding." he explained and held out a chair. "You're looking lovely this morning." he added and Linda smiled and put her hand on his arm.

" Thank you. As long as I'm not interrupting..." she said.

Tony waved his hand. "Never." he assured her. She put her hand on his cheek for a moment before taking a seat in the proffered chair. Senior leaned over to kiss his wife before sitting down again.

"How did it go with the Charity people?" he asked .

Linda smiled. "Very well, I exceeded our goal for last night by more than $50,000,so I think the evening can officially be deemed a success. " she said.

" I agree. Nice work, sweetheart." Senior grinned and held up his coffee cup in salute.

Linda waved her hand . "Pffft. " she said. "I'm just a lowly committee member. And honestly, I didn't have much to do with this event. That's why I needed the catching up this morning" she explained .

"Which Charity is this?" Tony wondered as the busboy appeared with the coffee pot.

"CGCN" Linda explained. "Children's Global Crisis work in concert with several other Organizations, like WHO and UNICEF. " she continued.

Tony nodded. "Feeding children? Medicine, that kind of thing?" he asked.

Linda paused and then nodded. "But because they're smaller, they're able to mobilize more quickly, and get immediate aid to areas in crisis. They like to think of themselves as ground forces or a SWAT team. They usually have a full team on alert so they can be boots on the ground within hours of a crisis." she added. "Their primary focus is on the children in these areas of course. Medical attention, food, anything they need."she said. "They're just the first wave of relief in most of these places, and as I mentioned, they are small. So they don't get a lot of the attention the other organizations do. " she continued. "They're all very worthy, of course. And they all do wonderful work. I just liked the idea of giving a smaller charity some well deserved attention. And I'll climb off my soap box now. Sorry." she added.

"Don't be." Tony said. " Remind me to write you a check later." he said.

Linda grinned. " Count on it." she said.

"You didn't have to wait for me to order, you know. Although it does seem you two were putting the time to good use when I got here. " Linda continued.

"We were, I think. " Senior nodded."Junior has some news. " he added.

Linda glanced over at Tony. "Good news, I hope?" she asked .

Tony smiled. "I think it is. I'm planning on asking Faith to marry me." he said and if Linda felt anything but happiness for her new stepson, she disguised it artfully.

She smiled broadly and leaned over to embrace Tony. " Congratulations. That's wonderful news, Tony." she said. Senior watched the exchange, grateful that his son and his new wife had fallen into an easy sort of friendship after an awkward start.

" Thank you. " Tony said and glanced over her shoulder at his father. "I'm not sure Dad feels quite the same way, though." he said and Linda sat back in her chair and looked at her husband, giving him a private wink out of Tony's line of vision.

" Is that true, darling?" she asked and Senior smirked and set down his cup.

" No. Not at all. The thing I want most these days is to see my son happy. You know that." he said and Linda nodded her agrreement.

"Right. But you don't think I can be happy with Faith, is that it?" Tony countered.

"I never said that. " Senior replied. " And I don't understand why you keep going round and round in circles about this ." he continued. "If you're happy, I'm happy for you, son. I'm not sure what else there is to say." he added.

"And there's that answer again." Tony snapped and shook his head. "He can't just come out and say it." he added.

Linda put one hand on each of their arms. "Stop. Both of you, Before this escalates into something you'll regret. " she said quietly. " What's really important is your happiness, Tony. If Faith is that for you, then both of us are thrilled about it. Aren't we, darling?" she asked her husband with another discreet wink.

" Isn't that what I said?" Senior replied and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Stop," Linda said before Tony could say anything further. She kept one hand on his arm and flagged down a waiter with the other . "Enough already. Let's order. You two are not going to fight about least not until we've all had something to eat." she warned and picked up a menu.

After the waiter left with their breakfast orders, Linda took another stab at peacemaking. "So, Tony.. when are you planning to pop the question?" she asked. "And I'm going to guess you have some kind of special ideas for that occasion already in mind?" she added.

Tony grinned and sipped coffee. " I'm not sure. I thought this trip might be the ideal time to pop the question, you know? There aren't many places more romantic than New York. Especially this time of year. Autumn in New York." he hummed a little bit of the old tune and Linda smiled.

"You're right about that. It's too bad Faith had to cut her trip short. But there's still plenty of Autumn left. And Winter in New York is lovely, too." she added.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not sure how much free time either of us are going to have in the near future. She's up to her neck at the firm, and I'm..Well, we're one short. Have been for awhile." he added. Senior looked up at that remark, the closest thing to an actual Ziva mention from his son in months and noticed the brief flash of genuine pain in Tony's wife saw it too, if the gentle kick she gave him under the table was any indication.

"I was surprised to hear about Bishop, Junior." he said. "I thought she was working out well. She seemed like a nice enough kid." he added.

Tony nodded. "She was. She is. I think she just realized that being a field Agent wasn't really her thing." he said .

Senior nodded. "It happens. So no luck on finding a replacement, I take it?" he asked.

"Not so far. You know how Gibbs can be. " he added and for the first time ever, Senior noted a trace of bitterness there. He decided not to pick up on it, and merely nodded.

" I'm sure he'll find someone soon. After all, Bishop was a replacement for someone and he found her pretty quickly." he remarked.

Tony's focus returned to his father. " Quicker than I could have ever imagined. " he said quietly and Senior felt his wife's foot tap his ankle again. The bitterness in his tone was more pronounced this time, as was the look in his eyes. It flared up for a moment and then died. " I guess I expected more." he murmured just as the waiter arrived with their food.

" More?" Linda asked when the waiter was gone.

Tony looked up blankly. "What?" he asked and Linda smiled.

"Never mind." she said carefully. "That French toast looks wonderful. " she gestured to the plate in front of him, and Tony looked at it if it were an alien spacecraft. He blinked and then smiled, but the spark in his eyes was gone when he looked up again.

" It does, doesn't it? I'm starving. " he said and put his napkin on his lap.

While his wife engaged Tony in a discussion of proposal plans, Senior decided silently and definitively that yes, he would do whatever he could to help his son find the happiness he deserved.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Later that day  
>A suburb just outside of New York City<br>Dusk

"Dodah?" Ziva called after stepping inside the front door.

It was nearly dusk now, the meeting at the UN having taken up most of the day, but it was time well spent. Three new corporate sponsors and the pledge of new medical equipment within two weeks. That last bit would require some follow up work, and she was grateful to realize, not for the first time, that follow up work now meant leg work, phone calls and emails, instead of stakeouts and gunfire. And with that realization came the customary guilt.

For so long, her loyalty was to her father and the country of her birth, and then later, to her new job, and her adopted homeland and people she once considered her new family. Her old life had cost her so much, tearing away pieces of her soul until it was difficult to remember a time when there wasn't blood on her hands. The further away from that life she got, the more certain she was about her decision to leave it behind. It did not ease her conscience about all the things she had done in the name of duty, but it gave her hope that her life going forward would be about hope and renewal and joy, and not blood and death and revenge.

She shook herself a little. The past was the past, and there was where it should remain. The house was quiet, and just a bit cool. Nettie was unaccustomed to living in a place that required central heating, and tended to forget to turn up the thermostat. Ziva set her keys down on the hall table and walked into the living room.

She turned on the thermostat and flicked on the light, and as the soft amber glow lit the room, she recalled the feeling she had the first time she'd set foot inside this house.

_ It was the middle of February, freezing cold with an icy wind , and her two Aunts stood beside her, still wearing their hats, coats and gloves as they toured the toasty warm house. Ziva shed her coat and hat, and took off her gloves. Living in Israel again for nearly a year hadn't done much to change her aversion to the cold, but this house warmed her to her bones, and it had little to do with the thermostat. Standing in the living room, with it's wood floors and wide bay window, she felt her blood warm._

_ And as they walked through the kitchen, and Nettie admired the brand new range with the double oven, and Adina examined the glass front oak cabinets, Ziva walked over to the window with it's view of the spacious backyard full of trees and felt the restless urges she'd lived with the past year quiet and settle. The tour of the rest of the house was unnecessary, she already knew what she wanted, but she held back, waiting to see the reaction from her Aunts. _

_Nettie and Adina had uprooted their lives to be with her, and she was determined to make them equal partners in every decision. The realtor prattled on about wainscoting and a full pantry next to the laundry room, but Ziva only listened with half an ear. She was already picturing brightly colored clay pots sitting on that kitchen window sill, growing herbs and perhaps an african violet or two. Until Nettie's voice interrupted the realtor, midway through her listing of nearby schools, churches and temples,not to mention the brand new Whole Foods just a mile or so down the road._

_ "Excuse, please,my interrupting." Nettie said and held up her hands._

_ The realtor stopped, adjusted her glasses and smiled. "Of course. " she nodded._

_ Nettie glanced at her younger sister, and then at her niece. "My opinion only. Tamim." she said and brushed her hands together twice, a familiar gesture that made Ziva release the breath she did not realize she'd been holding._

_ Adina nodded. " Yes. Tamim. " she agreed and touched the smooth granite countertop. _

_The Realtor beamed. "My Hebrew is more than a little rusty, but I do remember that word. Perfect, yes?" she asked and the two older ladies nodded._

_"Our opinion is not the most important thing. What matters is how our Zivaleh feels. " Adina said. Ziva smiled at her Aunt. Still a stylish,strikingly attractive woman well into her 60's,Adina spent 30 years as a buyer for Hamashbir Lazarchan, a large department store chain. As a small child, Ziva loved visits with Dodah Adina, who always smelled like flowers, and who always let a curious young Ziva play with her jewelry and paint her face with makeup. She gave her and Tali her old clothes and shoes to play dress up._

_ Married and widowed twice, with no children, she rarely suffered for male companionship. Her job had taken her to all the corners of the earth, and she had a particular affinity for the US; both her late husbands were American. When Ziva returned to Israel to try and reclaim her soul, Adina and Nettie had been her lifeline, especially those first few tumultuous weeks. She would never be able to repay either of them for everything they'd done for her._

_"True. " Nettie cut in. "So, tateleh. " Nettie began with a smile, her deep brown eyes twinkling a bit. "What is the decision? " she asked. Nettie was decidely less stylish than her younger sister, but still attractive in a entirely different way. Small and trim, with dark eyes and curly, salt and pepper hair worn off her face in a neat bun,she had a still sharp mind and an equally sharp wit. Her late husband Dodi Yussel called her his Par Par, meaning Butterfly, because of the way she could dance as young girl. Her dreams of becoming a ballerina were pushed aside after meeting Yussel, and she spent more than 40 years happily by his side, helping him run his jewelry business and raising a son who grew up to become an attorney. _

_Anyone who ever saw them together never had to ask if Nettie regretted giving up her ballerina dreams for married life, and when Yussel died suddenly a decade ago, Nettie grieved and then pushed on, keeping the store running until a random IED went off in the shopping district, the third one in five years, and her son put his foot down and insisted she sell the store. Jacob was a sucessful attorney, who met an American woman in College and married her. They settled just outside of Chicago, where Jake had his own practice, and two children in college. He wanted Nettie to come and live with his family, but Nettie remained fiercely independent and refused. She loved her son, and adored her daughter in law and Grandchildren, but there would be no use for her there. She would wither and die without a purpose in life. So when Ziva reached out to her Aunt after returning to Israel, helping her niece find her way became her new purpose in life._

_ Ziva smiled through misty eyes. "Tamim. " she said and the three women embraced._

Ziva smiled at the memory and walked into the kitchen. Something smelled wonderful , and she suddenly remembered that she had eaten no breakfast, and her lunch was only a salad, and that was hours ago. She opened the lid of the pot simmering gently on the stove and inhaled the wonderful aroma of Nettie's brisket.

" We will eat soon, darling. " Ziva set down the pot lid again and turned around at the sound of Nettie's voice. She embraced her Aunt.

" So how was everything?" Nettie wondered.

" Today? I think it went well. " Ziva began. " Three new corporate sponsors, and the pledge of new medical equipment." she said .

Nettie beamed and patted Ziva's cheek. " Wonderful. You have found your calling, I think. " she mused. "Or, at least, one of your callings, motek." she added. "And the hotel? Was it as wonderful and luxurious as it looked in the pictures? " she wondered.

Ziva nodded. "Yes, it was. Very beautiful." she said. " I have not been in a place that fancy in a long time. I felt out of place, Aunt. " she admitted.

Nettie frowned. "You should not, darling. I hoped you would take advantage of the time to yourself and get some rest. But it appears you have not." she said and touched Ziva's cheek with her hand.

Ziva smiled. " I am a little tired. But it is just that I do not sleep well away from home these days, that is all. I missed you. " she said .

Nettie smiled. "And I you, mameleh. " she said. "Go upstairs. I will call you when dinner is ready." she added. Ziva nodded and kissed Nettie's cheek before she picked up her small suitcase from the hallway and headed up stairs. Nettie sighed and shook her head. Ziva pushed herself too hard. She lifted the pot lid and reached for a spoon.

Ziva set her suitcase down on the floor just inside the door to her bedroom and flicked on the light.

" Ziva?" Adina's voice echoed softly from the other room.

"Yes, Aunt. " she said and removed her suit jacket and tossed it onto the bed . She stepped into the open doorway between the rooms.

Adina looked up from her chair next to the window. "Welcome home, Zivaleh." She said and then glanced down at the sleepy eyed infant in her arms, wrapped in a light green blanket and snoring softly, her rosebud mouth slack and drooling a little,the bottle she'd been sucking eagerly a few moments earlier now forgotten. " Sleep tight, malach. Your Mama is home." Adina whispered.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
>AN: Seriously, trying to make a modicum of sense of the canon version of Ziva's exit was the most difficult part of this. I haven't seen PPF, so I sort of winged it. I'm not sure I managed to make any sense of it at all, but since I used her departure as a basis for this story, I figured I'd stick with it. I hope it's somewhat in character and makes some sort of sense. Yikes. I also hope the surprise at the end of the last chapter won't put people off from the rest of the story. This isn't really a baby fic. It's about TZ and their journey back to each other.

"She has had a good day?" Ziva asked as she took the sleeping infant from her Aunt's arms.

Adina stood up, reached for a baby wipe and took care of the bit of drool on the baby's chin. " Of course. She ate and drank and slept and did a little playing. A very good day for someone not yet six months old." she smiled.

Ziva smirked. " I worry, Aunt. I cannot help it." she said and cradled the sleeping infant a bit closer to her chest.

Adina chuckled. " And what Mother does not worry?" she asked. " It is, how the Americans say, part of the package." she mused and smoothed the soft, dark honey colored curls on the child's head before handing Ziva the half finished bottle. She put her hand on Ziva's cheek gently and smiled.

"Thank you, Dodah. " Ziva said softly. "For everything." she added .

Adina smiled. "It is my pleasure, neshama." she said and left the room

. Ziva heard her footsteps on the stairs, and then turned to sit down in the rocking chair next to the window. A gift from the Realtor, Mrs Epstein, who said she was not quite sure if it was a genuine antique, or just old, but she thought it would be just perfect in this room, and this house, and it was. The wood was aged to a fine patina, and with the cushions Nettie made, it was one of the most comforting, soothing places in house filled with comfortable, soothing places. Especially with her child sleeping peacefully in her arms.

Her child. Powerful words, no matter the language spoken. Powerful enough to change the course of her life as well as reigniting dreams she only dared dream in private in the days before she lost her plan to change her life turned sideways and upside down after she learned she was while she knew right from the start that she would do whatever she had to for a chance to raise this child, she was not quite so sure how she would do that, or if she should even try. For so many years, her existence was cloaked in blood and death and war. Could she nuture an innocent new life? Protect and shelter and teach a child right from wrong? Could she give a child joy and peace and happiness when those things had eluded her for years?

Her indecision turned to despair and self doubt, until a phone call from Nettie changed the course of her life again. Her younger sister Adina was staying with her after selling her home in Haifa, and if Ziva did not come to visit both of them immediately, her hair should never curl again.

Ziva smiled at the memory. Nettie liked to use colorful turns of phrase as threats sometimes. "If I'm lying, darling, I should stick my head in the ground and grow like an onion." was a particular favorite. Ziva took the call as a sign, in spite of not really believing in that kind of thin. She closed up her parent's house and took her Aunt up on her invitation.

The visit proved to be full of more life changing things, including a visit from Shmeil. He'd come to tell Nettie about the potential brewing for more violence in her neighborhood near the Gaza. Serious sustained violence, not just the random bombings she'd lived through in the past. There was chatter from Hammas, and it was of course, to be taken seriously. It was not the first time any of them gathered in Nettie's living room heard about threats to their country. But unlike the times in the past, Ziva's first reaction was not to spring to the phone and find out what she would be assigned to do to stop them. In fact, Ziva's first reaction this time was the immediate urge to pack up what remained of her family and friends in this room and get them as far away from here as possible. But first, she had some explaining to do, to all of them. And so she did, in one very long sitting one late afternoon last year. From Gibbs trouble to their team resignation to the reason for her journey back here. She left the most important detail for last, however, because she was simply not sure how to say it.

"That is not everything, is it my Zivaleh?" Nettie asked after Ziva stopped talking. "There is more you have not told us." she added.

Shmiel smiled and sipped his tea. " There usually is with our Zivaleh." he mused. "And I have a feeling this has somethig to do with my young friend Tony." he said and watched Ziva's expression change and her golden skin turn pale. He frowned and set down the tea glass to reach for Ziva's hand. " He asked for my help in finding you, you know." he admitted .

Ziva looked up and nodded. "I know. He told me." she said. " He also told me that you would not help hin." she added.

Shmeil nodded ."I made you a promise that I wouldn't. " he said and then smiled. "And yet, he managed to find you without my is persistent, that one." he added.

Adina frowned. " Who is this? Someone from Mossad?" she asked.

Nettie shook her head. "No. The partner. From America. I told you." she said and gave her sister an 'i'll tell you the rest later but keep quiet right now' look."

Adina raised an elegant eyebrow and then nodded. "Yes. You did. That's right." she agreed.

Nettie turned her attention back to her niece. "So, my darling girl. You never did tell me everything that happened there, only bits and pieces.. But I have a feeling I can figure out the missing part of it, yes?. " she asked .

Ziva clasped her free hand more firmly around the cup of tea in her hands. Her stomach decided to make itself known in the afternoon today, instead of early in the morning the way it had for the past week. She held her body very still, and hoped she would not have to throw up.

" I did not think it would be important, Dodah." she said carefully,"It ended, and it is still over and .."the metallic taste in her mouth, and the saliva pooling under her tongue made her realize that she was definitely going to throw up. She set down the mug of tea, put her hand over her mouth and quickly got to her feet. "Excuse me." she said and walked directly to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, she felt something cool and damp at the back of her neck, and she raised her head from the toilet to find three faces looking back at her curiously.

Nettie soothed the washcloth over her forehead. "So, darling. How unimportant is it now?" she wondered. Ziva felt another wave of nausea begin, and lowered her head to the toilet.

"Is anyone else thinking the same thing I am?" Shmeil wondered as Ziva groaned and flushed the toilet.

"I'm thinking poor Ziva must have caught an insect somehow." Nettie fretted.

Adina narrowed her eyes. " Funny. That is not what I was thinking at all. " she said .

Shmeil nodded. "The same. I was thinking my young friend DiNozzo's visit was a bit more important than you thought." he mused.

Adina nodded and leaned over to stroke Ziva's flushed cheek. "Look at her eyes, Nettie." she said and Nettie leaned down for a better look at Ziva's face. The older woman smiled.

"You are with child." Adina said quietly, in a tone that was more a statement than a casual inquiry.

Shmeil grinned. "Wonderful! A blessing. Mazel tov, sweetheart!" he exclaimed and kissed the top of Ziva's head. He straightened up and embraced Nettie. "Congratulations, Great Aunt." he said.

Adina remained silent and regarded Ziva carefully. " You are not sure about this, tateleh?" she asked quietly.

"What's that? " Nettie demanded. "Of course she is. A child is a blessing from God.." she insisted.

Adina waved her well manicured fingers behind her back at her older sister. " I asked Ziva, not you." she said.

Ziva looked into her Aunt's eyes and saw the same kind of understanding she'd seen there for most of her life. " I have not yet seen a Doctor. " she said and raised her head nausea was gone, and she sat up a little more.

" You will. Today." Nettie said firmly.

" Did you pee on the stick?" Adina asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. Three times. All of them positive." she said .

Adina nodded. "I see. So why do I see doubt in your eyes? Where is our fearless Ziva?" she asked.

" I am not sure, Dodah. I do not know if I can do this. Or if I even deserve the chance to try." she said. "I have hurt many people. and done terrible things in the name of country and duty..." she began. " I lost a part of my soul somewhere along the way. What if I am not capable of giving this child love? What if I am too damaged, too broken?" she asked.

Adina put her hand underneath Ziva's chin. " Do not let him win, malach." she said .

Ziva frowned. " Who?" she asked.

"Eli. " she replied. " Each time you doubt yourself, or let yourself think you somehow deserve less than what other people have. You deserve everything, darling. Everything and more. Do not let him win. " she repeated carefully. Adina never made her dislike of Eli a secret, even while he and her sister were still alive. His death had done nothing to change her opinion.

"Your Aunt is a very wise woman, rayah." Shmiel nodded. "I respected your Father as a warrior and a leader. But as a father and a human being, he left much to be desired. " he admitted. "And I have always regretted not telling him is a great shame of my life that I let him treat you so badly, and made you doubt yourself." he sighed and shook his head. "I should not have let that I had known what he had planned when I heard you were called back to Mossad that summer.." he sighed again.

Ziva reached for his hand. " That was not your fault. I was determined to prove myself to him, at any cost.I felt I owed him that. I boarded the Damocles having made peace with the situation, and I did not expect to survive it." she said.

Shmeil patted her cheek. " And that is very wrong, kind of man puts his own child in a situation like that? Knowing that she most likely will not survive? It's only by the grace of God and the help of your friends that you are here today. Do not let a man who could do that dictate your life from the grave. " he urged her gently.

" When you doubt yourself, it is his voice you hear, am I right?" Adina asked and Ziva's lip trembled a bit and she nodded slightly. " Let the dead stay dead. " Adina advised her. "I know it is easier to say than to do. " she added with a wistful smile. " But you have us to help you. Remember that." she said. "And my sister has been too quiet behind me." she added and turned her head.

Nettie was quiet, her dark eyes a little glassy with tears. " I have been thinking about Rivka,Dina. " she admitted.

Adina smiled. "She is in my thoughts, too. She would be very proud of her beautiful daughter, I think. " she said.

Nettie smiled. "Yes. She would. But I do not think she would recognize the Ziva that doubts herself." She knelt down next to her niece. " This child is a gift, malach. A chance for a new start. A clean plate, like they say in America." she continued and caressed Ziva's cheek gently. "God does not give us anything he thinks we are not able to handle. You have survived everything for a reason. Perhaps this child is that reason." she said. "We will help you anyway that we can. " she added.

Ziva felt a little better, a little less tipsy topsy or whatever that term was. Nettie smiled. "That's our Zivaleh. Now. The Doctor." she patted Ziva's hand. " Leah Peretz's daughter uses someone over near the Shopping district. Not too far from the store. Now what was his name?" she wondered and got to her feet. "Oy. No more of that for awhile." she complained as her knees creaked a little."Dina. Come help me find the name. Shmeil, Will you stay with Ziva?" she asked.

"Of course." Shmeil said calmly. "Go. Do." he waved his hand and took a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

Ziva got to her feet, rinsed her mouth and splashed some cold water on her face. " You are thinking loudly over there, Shmeil." she said and heard chuckling in reply.

"And you still have the eyes in back of your head." he said. "Yes. I am thinking. About young Di Nozzo . " he said.

Ziva put down the towel and turned around. " I do not intend to tell him about this, Shmeil, if that is what you are asking." she said.

Shmeil shrugged. "I have not asked anything yet. " he said. " But he is the father of this child.."

" Did I say he was?" Ziva cut him off .

Shmeil lowered his gaze. "Please. Do not tell the fibs with me." he said in a low voice. " I heard the desperation in his voice. I know how long he searched for you. Eli told me he was the one that rescued you from Saleem. Why did you not tell me that?" he wondered.

" I did not have a reason to tell you, Shmeil. And just because he searched for me..." she began.

Shmeil crossed his arms. " Do not waste my time with these games, Zivaleh. Just tell me why you do not want him to know about this child. " he said .

"I told him I needed to take my journey alone, and I meant it. " she said .

Shmeil sighed. "A child changes everything, darling. Are you forgetting that I saw how the two of you were together?More than once. That man loves you. He would do anything for you. He already has. Again, more than once." he said and watched Ziva's eyes fill with tears.

"I am not what he needs, Shmeil. " she shook her head.

Shmeil frowned. " Who are you to decide what he needs? He decided all by himself that he loves you. Obviously, he thinks you are what he needs." he added.

"I am not. I cannot be. " she insisted and wiped her eyes.

"So you do not love him? " Shmeil asked. "I did not say that." Ziva said.

Shmeil sighed. "But that is what he believes, is it not? Because that is what you wanted him to believe . You made him believe it. " he sighed and shook his head."Oh, little one. Why can you not just let yourself be happy?" he wondered and embraced her.

"I do not know that I could ever make him happy, Shmeil. I fear I am too broken to ever be whole again. Tony does not deserve that. He deserves more than that." she admitted. " I had to let him go. For me and for him. And I think that he must have known that, because he did as I asked and let me go in return." she sniffled and turned to rest her cheek against the soft cotton of Shmeil's shirt.

The old man stroked her hair and smiled knowingly. " And you did not expect him to do that, did you? You expected him to stay and fight for you?" he asked .

Ziva sniffed again. "I did not say that. " she said .

Shmeil chuckled. "You did not have to, darling. He did as you asked. For you. The same as he has always done. I think. ."

"Please. " Ziva interrupted and raised her head from his shoulder. "Please do not tell him. Please. " she pleaded with her old friend. " I am so unsure of everything right now. Adding Tony to this would only make things more complicated. Please." she said and searched the old man's face.

He put his hand on your cheek. "But you are sure that you love him. Very much. And yet, you sent him away. I do not understand this at all, but I could never say no to you, Zivaleh. I will not tell him. But I am going to say that I think you are being very unfair to him, and to yourself. " he said .

She nodded. " Yes, I am. I know that. But he will be better off in the end for it. " she said.

Shmeil shook his head. "No dear. He will not, and I fear, neither will you. But that is not my lesson to teach. " he sighed and held onto her hands. "We must get you settled in your new life, then. At least allow me to help you with that."

Ziva nodded and embraced the old man again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Help was what Shmeil promised, and help was what he delivered in spades, to Ziva and the Aunts. He wasted little time putting a plan in motion after Ziva's pregnancy was confirmed; and he quickly made it work. Convincing her Aunts that Israel was no longer the best place for any of them to be was a start, but Ziva didn't need much convincing. She had been homesick for her adopted country for weeks. Adina had spent a great deal of time in America, and was excited about the chance at a new start. Nettie needed a little more convincing though, and wasn't really sold until Ziva asked her to give it a chance, just until her baby was born. If she was unhappy after that, Shmeil promised he would make arrangements for her return to Israel. Nettie relented, and the only thing left to decide was Ziva's future employment. Could she really return to America? How would she earn a living? Where would all of them live?

Shmeil proved again that he was more than a man of just words when he stepped in to guide her. The old Ziva would have complained and ignored every bit of advice and then done exactly what she wanted. The new Ziva, the unsure, still trying to find her place in this brave new world Ziva, was grateful for the help. So, while Shmeil was busy making arrangements, and her Aunts were packing up Nettie's house and growing more excited about the idea of living in America, Ziva was battling morning sickness that sometimes lasted all day long, and wondering how she was going to earn a living.

There was money her Father left her, but the idea of using blood money to raise her child repulsed her. Her child would not be anyone's soldier, or the sharp end of anyone's stick. Her child would be whatever it wanted to be.A doctor. A dancer. A fisherman. All of that, or none of that. And the best place for that to happen was America. But what could she do to help make that possible? Life in America wasn't cheap. She had quite a bit of money stashed away, more than enough for a decent down payment on a place to live. But what then? Since her return to Israel, she'd done some volunteer work for several relief agencies,and it was during a phone call from one of those Agencies that her life took another unexpected turn. It seems that a certain man of steel had placed a phone call of his own,to an old contact now working at the CGCN headquarters in New York, asking about possible employment there, all it took was a Skype interview with the director, a few emails, and a big piece of her future was set.

Ziva reached for another baby wipe as the infant in her arms stirred and drooled a bit, her long eyelashes thick as fringe against her golden skin. Ziva smiled and watched the rosebud mouth pucker as she wiped away the drool on the tiny chin. The pucker turned to a yawn, and then a stretch, tiny hands moving in slow motion before setlling against the front of her pale green sleeper. The lashes fluttered against her sleep flushed cheeks for a moment before those remarkable eyes opened . Sometimes the color of the olives that grew in the grove near the place where she was conceived, other times nearly the color of the sea, Ziva never tired of looking into those eyes.

"Hello, my love. " she said softly and leaned down to rub her nose against her daughter's.

Her daughter, the thing that renewed her heart and soul, more than any career change or acts of contrition ever could..

The idea that she was ever unsure about this caused her to remember something Ducky always used to say. 'Mistakes happen, my dear. That is why they put erasers on pencils'.

Yes, not having her Nina would have been a mistake. An unthinkable mistake. Everything she had to go through to get to this moment was worth it, just for the chance to look into her eyes. She considered many names, and decided to go against the tradition of using a name beginning with the first letter of a deceased relative. Instead, she read endless name lists on the internet, and kept coming back to one name. An English form of the Hebrew name Hannah, her Aunt Nettie's given name, one of it's translations was Grace of God, another; 'grandaughter'. Nina. Simple and meaningful. Not fussy. It would honor her mother and father, and Tony's mother and father, as well as her Aunt. Yes,if it was a girl, Nina it would be.

Looking into those eyes brought Ziva untold joy, beyond anything she could have ever imagined or dared to dream. But it also brought other feelings, ones she'd pushed down and tried to ignore for months. It was easy not to think of Tony while Nina was still inside her. There was so much to do, so much to get ready, there was little time to think of anything. And then her new job began. And then the move to this house. And then, her new Doctor put her on bed rest for the final two weeks of her pregnancy. Her blood pressure was a bit high, and it was merely a precaution. But in between her frustrating attempts at knitting, reading baby books, soliciting pledges for CGCN by email and staring at the walls, there was more than enough time to think.

Things had ended so badly between them, all of it her fault, and she tried her best to convince herself that Tony would probably not even care one bit if she did tell him about the baby. None of her arguments with herself worked, though. Tony was still Tony, and underneath the gooseball exterior was a man who cared and felt things deeply. A man who had been to hell and back for her many, many times. A man who deserved more than the broken shell of a woman she had become. That is what she continued to try and sell to herself and everyone around her, and for awhile, it worked.

And then, Nina was born, after two days of on and off false labor, and one day of the real, excruciating eyes were too full of tears, and her hands too busy counting fingers and toes to notice the tiny face attached to the squalling, slippery infant they placed on her chest seconds after her arrival, but long, agonizing moments later, after she was cleaned up, weighed and wrapped up like a pink burrito, they placed her back in Ziva's eager hands, and she had a chance to study the little face in earnest.

And all those pushed aside feelings came rushing back, as did her tears. A small, heart shaped face with delicate features ,chubby cheeks and a rosebud mouth,as Nettie would later say: All Ziva. But the eyes. Those eyes were Tony's .Same shape, same color, even the same long eyelashes she'd privately envied for years.

And now, nearly six months later, the eyes that looked back at her, crinkling merrily at the corners with laughter, were more like Tony's than ever. Nina cooed and tugged at the ends of Ziva's hair.

"I have much to tell you,my darling girl. All about my adventures in New York." she said and held one of Nina's hands up to her lips. " I missed you very, very much today." she continued and got to her feet. "Did you miss me? Did you have fun with the Aunts? " she wondered. " Of course you did. But we shall have some fun tonight, too. Perhaps a bath, and then the book about Olivia the pig. Or the one about the moon. Perhaps both." she made a funny face, and when Nina chortled and slapped a tiny palm against her mother's face, there it was again. Guilt. But now there was more to it than that. What would it be like to have Tony as a part of Nina's life ? Would he even want to be, after everything she'd done?

She walked to the door, and shut off the light. Of course he had no doubt at all about Tony's capacity for love, and the more time that passed, the more she realized how foolish and cowardly she had been to ever think he would not be able to love this child because he no longer loved her.

How many times had she turned him away, or shut him out and threatened him , or turned to someone else. And in the end, when she needed him, he was always there. Every single time. She would not be here, holding this beautiful child, his child, if not for his courage and devotion. The hard truth, the thing she had avoided facing all these months was not Tony's ability to love his child. It was her fear that he no longer loved her. She had denied him one time too many, and he had finally given up on her completely.

In all fairness, she had asked him to do just that, and even lied to him to make sure it happened. But,after finding out she was pregnant, her first impulse was to run and hide, like a coward. If she was going to be a Mother that Nina could be proud of, things had to change. Even if she and Tony were never going to share a life together. They shared a child, and he deserved to know that.

She shifted Nina against her hip, and looked at the sweet little face.

" I am going to tell you some stories tonight, my love. But not about Olivia the pig or the moon." She smoothed her hand over Nina's soft curls and pressed her lips to her sweet smelling hair.

" Tonight I am going to tell you about your Father, my darling. It is long past time for you to know." she said. Small steps, one thing at a time. Another trick she learned in therapy.

Nina chewed her fist and put her head down on Ziva's shoulder. "Yes, darling. Long past time."Ziva decided and headed down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Oy, my hands are wet. Zivaleh. Get that please?" Adina gestured to the cell phone on the kitchen island .

Ziva tossed the dishtowel over her shoulder, tickled Nina in her bounce seat and reached for Adina's phone. "Hello." she said and switched from tickling Nina's belly to a spot under her chin.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I dialed ... Ziva? Is that you?" Ziva glanced over at her Aunt, who looked entirely too innocent for her own good, elbow deep in dishwater.

" Yes, this is Ziva. How are you, Aaron?" she asked and Adina turned her head and smiled knowingly at her niece. Ziva narrowed her eyes, but kept her voice calm and pleasant.

"I'm great, thanks. My Dad tells me you and Nina are doing well.." he began .

"We are, thank you." Ziva said politely. Aaron Simon was an attorney, and the son of the man Adina was currently seeing; Dr Harry Simon, who also happened to be Nina's pediatrician. Aaron was a bit younger than herself, very attractive and charming, and he had made his interest in Ziva very clear on more than one occasion. In fact, his father never failed to mention Aaron during each of Nina's appointments. " Did you wish to speak with Aunt Adina?" Ziva asked and heard Aaron chuckle.

"No, I didn't. Actually, I was hoping to speak to you. Lucky thing for me you answered the phone, I guess." he said.

Ziva turned to give her Aunt the eye, but Adina turned back to the sink quickly, whistling something tuneless. Ziva smirked and suspected that luck had very little to do with it.

" Yes, I suppose so." she said.

" I know how busy you are these days, but your Aunt told me you would be home tonight.." Aaron continued.

"Oh did she? " Ziva asked, and Adina's whistling grew louder.

"Yes. And I hope that it's all right that I called. I didn't catch you in the middle of something, did I?" Aaron asked.

"No. You did not. We are just cleaning up the dinner dishes. " Ziva replied and picked up one of Nina's bare feet and blew a silent raspberry on the bottom. Nina snorted with laughter, a trait definitely inherited from her mother, and Ziva heard Aaron chuckle on the other end of the phone.

" Is that Nina? What a great laugh." he asked .

Ziva smiled genuinely. "It is. And thank you. " she said.

" Don't mention it. I think she's a terrific kid. " he replied. " So do I. But I am biased." Ziva admitted. " I suppose I should stop beating around the bush and get to the point of this call..." Aaron said after a brief, awkward silence.

"That is probably a good idea, yes." Ziva said. She had an idea what this phone call was about, and she was already going over a list of excuses to have ready just in case what she thought might happen actually did.

" I have this thing. " he began. "Actually..it's a work thing. And before you answer, I do remember what you said about not being interested in pursuing a relationship. " he added quickly . The first time she met Aaron was at his father's office while there for Nina's checkup, and he called and asked her out that same evening. She'd politely declined,using the excuse he just mentioned. She had seen him a couple of times since, and he was always charming and a little funny and very sweet with Nina. Adina urged her more than once to give Aaron a chance, but she simply was not ready for anything like that. Not now, and perhaps not for a very long time. Or ever. She had tossed away her chance to be with the person she wanted most. Now her life should be about her child.

" As I said, it's a work thing, the guys from our office in DC come up, and we invite our biggest clients. It's sort of a thank you, but I think it would be a great opportunity for you to meet some very wealthy people badly in need of a tax write off or two. " he said and Ziva raised an eyebrow.

" I realize how crass that sounds, but when it comes to fundraising, results are the most important thing, am I right?" Aaron asked .

Ziva smiled. "Yes. You are. I learned that pretty quickly. " she said.

Aaron laughed brightly in reply. " Smart girl. So...if I said that I'm also making this invitation in the hopes that you'll change your mind about possibly seeing me again in the future, would that keep you from saying yes?" he asked. "I figured honesty would be the best policy. " he added .

Ziva smirked a little, but had to give him credit. He was persistent. And creative. And the idea of a room full of possible sponsors/donors was intruiging. "When is this party?" she asked.

"A week from Saturday, at the Player's club in the city, near Gramercy park. " Aaron explained and Ziva looked up and noticed Adina leaning against the sink, arms folded, smiling broadly. Ziva lowered her gaze, but Adina continued to grin.

" May I think about it for now? I promise I will not take too long to give you an answer." Ziva said.

" Of course. " Aaron said easily. " You have my cell number now. Or your Aunt does." he amended. "Either way I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a yes. " he said .

"Good night, Aaron. And thank you." Ziva said.

" Good night. " Aaron answered and Ziva ended the call and set down the phone.

" So.." she began and turned to face Adina.

"So? Do not give me the face, my girl." she pointed a warning finger at her niece. " He is a very nice boy. You could do worse." she said. "In fact, you have done Rivkin. Feh." Adina made a disgusted face and Ziva sighed.

"Michael Rivkin?" Nettie stepped down off the last stair and walked into the kitchen. " That one did not die soon enough." she said and made noises like spitting. "Why are we talking about that mifletzet?" she demanded .

"I was just pointing out to our girl that her taste in men sometimes is not quite so good. " Adina shrugged. " And sitting around waiting for that Partner of hers to.."

"ADINA." Nettie cut her sister off sharply and shook her head. Adina sighed and rolled her eyes.

" Fine. I will not mention the unmentionable. " she said and reached for Ziva's hands. "You are a young, beautiful woman with much to offer. " she smiled gently and put her hand under Ziva's chin. " It would be a terrible thing to hide your light under a basket forever." she said.

"Oy, Dina, have you been making the matches again?" Nettie scolded.

" I have not. " Adina said. " Harry mentioned that Aaron had a work event coming up, and I may have suggested that Ziva might be interested. That is all. It will do her good to dress up and go out and see people. " Adina said with a wave of her hand.

"Aunt..I see people all the time. You make me sound like a kermit.I am not." Ziva insisted.

" I am busy with work and with Nina and.."

"And, and." Andina nodded. " Did Aaron not tell you that this would be a good thing for your work? Lots of possible sponsors?" she asked and Ziva nodded. " So? What is the big megillah? You get a new dress and show up and knock those people on their tush. A Piece of pie." she snapped her fingers. "I will take you to see my old friend Louise at Bergdorf's, and you will have those people lining up to give you their money." she said.

Ziva glanced over at Nina, who was now dozing in her bounce seat. " Do not worry about our knaidlech." Adina said. "You know she will be well taken care of. " she glanced at her sister behind Ziva. "Nettie, tell her. It will be a good thing for her." Adina urged.

" It will be a good thing only if she wants to do it, Dina." Nettie said and pulled a chair up next to the turned around. " It would be foolish to pass up a chance for new sponsors. " she began. " And it would not have to mean anything more than a simple evening at a party." she added and Nettie turned her attention from a sleeping Nina to Ziva. She studied the expression on her face carefully and noticed the calmness and peace that had settled on her niece since becoming a mother was a little less noticeable tonight.

Nettie stood up. "You are thinking about him tonight. " she said quietly and Ziva avoided her gaze.

" Who? " Adina demanded and Nettie gave her a knowing look.

Adina smirked. "Oh. the unmentionable. " she said.

" Did something happen?" Nettie wondered.

" I ran into his father in the city today." Ziva said softly. " Actually, he ran into me. In the hotel lobby." she explained. "He asked me to join him for a drink, and he said Tony was there..."

"Did you see him?" Nettie wondered.

"No. I could not. I ran, Dodah. I ran like a coward." Ziva said tearfully. " I have fouled this up so badly I fear it will never be right again. " she continued.

Nettie embraced her. " It will be. You will make it right. You were caught you by surprise, that is all. Of course you were not ready." she said and stroked Ziva's hair.

" I have to make myself ready. " Ziva said. " And I am not sure I know how to do that." she admitted. "This has already gone on for too long, and it is not fair. To him, or to Nina. They each deserve the chance to know each other. " she said.

"Even if he does not want you anymore?" Adina asked.

"DINA." Nettie cut in sharply.

"It is all right, Dodah." Ziva said and drew back from Nettie's embrace. She turned to her other Aunt and inhaled. " It has taken me all this time to face it, but I believe that was my real reason for not telling him in the first place. After all, how could he ever want me again after the way I hurt him? " she asked.

Adina nodded. "We have thought as much, darling, but we did not want to say it. Not until you realized it yourself." she said and reached for Ziva's hand. " Another reason I think you should accept Aaron's invitation. There are other men out there. Good men. And when you are ready.." she said.

Ziva shook her head. "I am not sure I will ever be ready. I have turned to men for comfort too many times in the past." she recalled. " And it has never turned out well." she sniffed and wiped her tears.

"Because they were the wrong men, motek." Nettie said quietly.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. I know that. My choices have hurt too many people. Myself included. " she exhaled. " I cannot afford to make those kind of mistakes anymore. Because it is not just me who could be hurt. I have been selfish about my choices for too long. What is best for Nina must come first." she finished .

Nettie smiled. " On that, we all agree. Yes, Dina?" she asked .

Adina smirked. "Of course. So, my darling girl. Are you going to contact this long lost partner of yours?" she asked .

Ziva shook her head. "I do not think I am ready for that quite yet. But today made me realize that I will have to be ." she said.

Adina nodded. "And until that day comes? You will have a bit of fun with Aaron, and make some money for a very good cause. Yes?" she asked.

Ziva smirked. " I do not suppose it could hurt very much." she said .

Adina rolled her eyes. "Oy. We will need to work on that, darling." she said. "But first, a bath for our Ninaleh. Let us take her upstairs. And then, I will show you the exact dress I have in mind for you. On the computer." she said.

"Go. I will put the dishes away." Nettie said.

Ziva kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, Dodah." she said.

Nettie patted Ziva on the cheek." You are always welcome, darling." she said and watched Ziva scoop up a sleeping Nina and place her gently at her shoulder.

Adina was right, she did deserve a little fun, and Aaron was a very nice young man. But her sister had not seen Ziva and Tony together; she had. The way that man looked at her niece...and the way she looked at him in return,.That man was part of her soul, and anyone who watched them together could see that she was part of his,too. So when Nettie returned to her home after a night at a friend's house, and found Ziva sitting alone in the darkness, consumed by tears as she choked out bits and pieces of what happened with Tony, her heart broke for her, and for the man who so clearly adored her. She cursed the soul of her brother in law for everything terrible thing he had done to turn the bright, loving child who loved to sing and dance and play dress up with her sister into the trembling, uncertain, frightened woman sitting in the of playing the ferocious, fearless warrior had broken her spirit, and Nettie feared she would never see the sparkle in those eyes again.

The unexpected pregnancy brought some of that sparkle back, and seemed to give her a new focus and purpose. The new job and the return to the adopted homeland she'd come to love helped bring back some of her old confidence.

But it was Nina's birth that brought the sparkle back completely, the smile that finally reached her eyes, the joy in the face that reminded her so much of her late sister, before it had all gone so wrong for all of them. She Ziva had worked so hard for this bit of happiness and peace, and yet, Nettie was still not convinced that she would not ever really be completely happy without the missing piece of her heart that still belonged to Tony.

But it was not her place to make those decisions. Ziva had to get to that place all by herself. Today seemed like a tentative first step.

Mazel tov, darling. Let it be so. She walked over to the sink to finish the dishes.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

One week later  
>Navy Yard<br>Washington DC

AN: I've never seen Delilah, so I decided it was best not to include her here.

Tim Mc Gee shifted the cardboard tray to his other hand and pushed the button to close the elevator door. A black coffee for Gibbs, a nonfat Grande Soy half calf latte for himself, and a Green tea, no milk, no sugar for Tony. Months into the clean eating routine, and ordering that still felt hinky. Although hinky was a relative term these days. The green tea business was one of the least hinky parts of the last year around here. The elevator dinged, the doors opened, and he shifted his backpack up and onto his shoulder.

At least the old place still looked the same, even if everything else felt different. He'd come to the point where he was grateful for the small, familiar things. Like orange walls and a misplaced skylight. Familiarity in the face of so much that was unfamiliar was comforting these days. He found himself craving sameness and routine, the daily grind of legwork and phone calls, bolos and Google searches, even if none of it would ever feel the same again. It felt like those days and weeks after Kate was killed, like a leg was missing, and they were hobbling along trying to pretend they could run just as fast with out it. Everyone ignoring the Israeli elephant in the room, acting as if she never existed. Tony included.

"Hey Tim."

And that was another thing. Suddenly, Tony had begun to call him by his name on a regular more Probie Wan Kenobi or McGeekle, not even the random Slim Tim. And he was early now. All the time, not just when he was occasionally trying to impress Gibbs for one reason or complaining about paperwork, no whining about legwork in the rain.

The person sitting at Tony Di Nozzo's desk looked the same, except perhaps in much better shape these days than he used to be. But any resemblance to the old Tony ended there. The new Tony still quoted movies, but rarely did it at awkward, inappropriate moments the way the old Tony would. He still flirted with anything in a skirt, but there was no bite to it, no real intent.

Mc Gee had dubbed him PhonyTony in his head. GhostDiNozzo. He wore expensive suits and told familiar, lame jokes. He looked and sounded like Tony Di Nozzo. But it was all hollow. False. He had hoped things would change with the addition of Bishop. She was a perfectly nice kid, a little young and naive, but smart in spite of her odd quirks. Like an offbeat little sister tagging along behind them. Gibbs took to her right from the start..

And that was another weird thing. Gibbs not acting like in the way he wasn't Gibbs when he lost his memory, although he did seem to lose all memory of a certain ex Mossad officer who worked here for nearly a decade. The mention of anything even vaguely Ziva related was usually ignored, or greeted by an immediate glare and a quick change of subject.

Tim decided this was just Gibbs way of dealing with her departure,and expected it would pass. But as time went on, things just got weirder. Like Gibbs letting a probie like Bishop take over investigations, and Abby having no interest at all in keeping tabs on Ziva. So he took it upon himself to send Ziva an email at her old address when Jackson Gibbs died, and then decided to ask Ducky his opinion about that idea. Ducky told him it was a lovely gesture, but that he really wouldn't count on getting any response from Ziva, who clearly didn't want to hear from any of them, and 'Timothy you really need to move on'. Everyone else had.

It was so completely bizarre, like walking into another dimension. When he received a short, affectionate reply from Ziva, thanking him for letting her know , and asking after everyone but Tony,she assured him that she was fine, so he decided not to mention the exchange to anyone, especially Tony.

He traced the mail back to a server in Belize, but didn't expect her to actually be there. He replied, leaving out the part about Tony and his new girlfriend, but he hadn't heard from her again. And then the strangest twist of all came yesterday: Tony announcing his engagement. To someone who definitely was not Ziva. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot,indeed.

"Morning, Tony. " he replied and handed him the Green tea.

"Thanks. " Tony replied. " Gibbs is with Vance " he said when Tim glanced over at the empty desk.

"Still trying to convince him to keep Bishop?" Tim asked .

Tony nodded. " I think so. I also think it's a waste of time, considering Ellie is pretty happy to be back at NSA. " he said. "Last time I talked to her, she had no desire to come back here.." he said.

Tim nodded. "She told me the same thing. So why is Gibbs so determined to bring her back?" he wondered.

Tony shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe he just doesn't want to go through the whole hiring process again. " he said .

" Ah,can 't say I blame him for that. Remember the last time we went through that? Miss Power Putty? And Pantsuit girl?"Tim asked. It was risky, bringing up that summer again, but he had to see if it sparked something, any kind of reaction at all.

And miracle of miracles, it did. Tony's eyes clouded over, and after a brief glance over at the empty desk directly across the aisle, he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Yeah, that was something all right." he said. "Hey, did I tell you we're thinking about Maui?" he added.

Tim frowned. " Maui?" he asked .

" Hawaii, Tim. " Tony said. "For the honeymoon." he added.

Tim raised an eyebrow. "Oh. No, you hadn't mentioned that. Actually." he began and walked back to his desk. "You never did get around to telling me the story of how you proposed. I thought you said you weren't sure if it was the right time just yet. " he said, removed his latte and then tossed the cardboard tray in the trash.

Tony took a long swig of Green tea, wishing it was a light, sweet, full fat cappucino with extra foam and then set down the cup again. " Actually, it's a pretty funny story. " he said without looking up. " Something to tell the Grandkids, I guess." he added. " I took the ring box out of the gun safe when I put my gun away, got distracted, and forgot to put it back. " he explained. "Long story short, Faith came over, she found it, and we decided to just forget the whole proposal thing and consider ourselves engaged. Pretty funny." he nodded.

Tim's first thought was there wasn't much funny about that story at all. It was kind of sad. His second thought was that Tony didn't actually think it was funny, either, and he was sort of embarrassed by the whole thing. So Tim being Tim, he decided to smile and nod his agreement.

"Yeah. That is pretty funny." he said.

Who decides to 'forget the whole proposal thing'? When did romance cease to be part of the equation? Tony Di Nozzo, the real, genuine, down deep underneath the clown Tony DiNozzo was as romantic as anyone he'd ever met. Nobody did the grand gesture better. Even when he believed the object of his affection was dead. Yeah, this was wrong. All wrong, and there seemed to be nothing he could do about it.

"So, have the two of you set a date?" he asked.

"Not yet. " Tony replied. " There's a lot to consider, her job, mine, The kids. But at least I know where the rest of my life is headed, you know? "he asked.

Tim nodded mutely. What was there to say to something like that? He sounded like a kid deciding which major to take in college, not a man in love. Maybe he was nit picking, looking for something when there was nothing to look for. Maybe this is just what growing up looked like on TonyDi Nozzo. On that depressing thought, he took off his jacket, slung it over the side of his cubicle and turned back to his computer screen to check his email. He glanced over at Tony, who had turned silent again, and caught him staring wistfully at the empty desk across the aisle, and the expression on his face told Tim all he needed to know about what was really going on inside the DiNozzo brain, no matter what he said.

Now he just had to figure out what, if anything, he should do about it. Normally, he'd go to Abby to talk about this. But she said on more than one occasion that Ziva 'left them' in a tone that left little room for further conversation. So Abby was out. As was Ducky, with his 'move on' comment. And he wasn't really desperate enough to even consider talking to Gibbs yet. Jimmy? Nah, he was too wrapped up in fatherhood to take notice of much else, as he should be. Maybe Dornegat, but he wasn't inside enough. He didn't know Tony that well. He took a sip of latte, stole another quick glance over at Tony, who was still staring at the empty desk.

He remembered that he actually planned to start on his emails before he got distracted and set down the coffee cup a safe distance away from his keyboard and clicked on his email shortcut. There was a ton of mail, as usual. He'd sent out a BOLO last week, and the case had wrapped in the meantime, so all those new hits went to the deleted items folder. He noticed an item in the junk email folder, and checked it, just in case. The spam filter sometimes triggered on unfamiliar addresses, and sometimes genuine information slipped through. The subject line read "Hi Tim", and he glanced at the return address. BigDaddyD. If he'd been looking for a sign, he may just have found it. BigDaddyD was Tony's father. The spam filter triggered in spite of Tim having received mail from Senior before, about the RSVP to his wedding a few months back. He remembered reading that one on his phone, though. Hence, the spam filter here not recognizing the address. He moved the mail out of the spam folder and opened it.

**"Hi Tim! Hope all is well with you. I have a favor to ask of you,so could you give me a call when you have a chance? And could you make sure Tony isn't around when you do? Speak to you soon. Thanks, A.**"

It could mean something. Or it could mean nothing. You could never be too sure when it came to DiNozzo the Elder. If nothing else, it would give him something to do while Gibbs was with Vance, and Tony was pretending to catch up on paperwork while surfing through online travel sites.

He grabbed his cell phone and shoved it in his pocket. " I'll be right back." he told Tony, who acknowledged his statement with a wave of his hand without turning around. No questions about where he was going, no requests for something from the vending machine, no random paper airplanes shot at the back of his head as he walked away. It just wasn't right.

He shook his head and walked up the staircase. There was no place better than MTAC for privacy. He leaned in for the retinal scan and made his way downstairs. The guy sitting a few chairs away monitoring the satellite feed was usually here overnights. He must be filling in for someone's vacation. Tim nodded a greeting as he slid into a chair and the guy waved and returned to his work It wasn't unusual for him to show up here in the middle of a workday, he was normally working on one thing or another that required a secure line. He slipped on a headset, plugged it into his cell phone and dialed Senior's number.

Senior was just finishing off his second cup of coffee, waiting for Linda to finish getting dressed before they were off to a late breakfast with some old friends. His cell phone began to dance along the smooth surface of the kitchen island, and he reached over to answer it.

" DiNozzo." he said, in a way that was so much like Tony, Tim smirked.

" Hi, It's Tim Mc Gee." he said and could practically hear the older man grinning on the other end of the line.

" Tim, how are you?" Senior asked.

"Not too bad, and you?" Tim wondered.

"Can't complain, kid.I take it you got my email?" he asked.

"Yes, I did. What can I do for you?" Tim wondered.

"First and foremost? You can tell me what the hell has happened to my son, Tim." Senior sighed. "Is it me or is he becoming less and less like Tony and more and more like a complete stranger? " he wondered.

Tim sighed. "It's not just you. And I'm not sure I can explain that, Mr D. " Tim replied. " But I know what you mean. He hasn't been himself since..well.."

"You can say it, Tim. Since Ziva left. " Senior cut in. " By the way, I ran into Ziva last week. That's another reason I asked you to call me. "

Tim sat up a little straighter. "You did? Where? How was she?" he asked.

" I did. In New York, and she seemed fine. At least, she looked fine I guess. Gorgeous, as usual, but something seemed off. ...I don't know what the right word would be...closed off covers it best, I guess. I didn't really have much of a chance to talk to her, She ran off pretty quickly. .Look, I don't want to hold you up, I know how Gibbs can be. " Senior added. "I was hoping we could get together and talk ...About Ziva and Tony and "

" I'm in. Just give me a date and time." Tim cut him off and he heard Senior chuckle.

"I knew I could count on you, Tim. " he said. " I'll be in your neck of the woods tomorrow, if that works for you. Linda has an event at the Inner Harbor, so we're taking the Acella down tonight. I haven't mentioned anything about it to Junior just yet. I figured I'd just say I wanted to surprise him. And he's always promised to give Linda the nickel tour." he added .

"You could congratulate him on his engagement." Tim suggested .

"What? He did it? He asked her?" Senior asked.

"Not exactly. I'll explain when I see you. " Tim said. " sounds like we'll have a lot to talk about. " Senior said.

"We will. But if you don't mind, I'd rather not do it here. Can we meet somewhere?" Tim wondered.

" Adams House Restaurant. About 1 o'clock?" Senior suggested.

"I'll be there. See you tomorrow." he said. " Thanks, Tim. " he added before ending the call.

Tim unplugged the headset, set it down, and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

"Hot date, Mc Gee?" the guy at the satellite feed desk asked .

Tim smirked. " I guess you could say that." he said. "See you around." he added and the guy nodded.

It was a start, at least. Someone to talk to, and it depressed him to think things had come to this, a time when he didn't feel comfortable discussing something with the people here. This place used to feel like family, as if he could share anything and someone would always be there to listen.

They'd been through a lot together, and survived most of it, but he never, expected that the bond they'd all shared wouldn't survive the loss of Ziva.

Whatever magic they had left with her, and while he wasn't sure they could ever get that back, missing it as much as he did made the idea of not trying to get it back again out of the question.

He had to try.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Four Seasons Hotel  
>Inner Harbor, Baltimore<br>The next day

"And I promise to take extensive mental notes. Cross my heart. " Senior made a small x on his chest with his finger .

Linda narrowed her eyes. "And I want to hear everything later. All of it. " she said.

Senior nodded. "Of course, darling. " he said and kissed his wife on the cheek. "Now go on to your meeting. Knock 'em dead . " he urged her.

Linda held up her crossed fingers. " Here's hoping. I'll see you back here later. Good luck, darling. Tell Tim I said hello." she said and patted his cheek for a moment before heading to the elevator. Senior looked at his watch, and decided that it wasn't really too early to head over to the Adams. There was no telling what the traffic might be like.

He crossed the lobby, headed for the front door to hail a taxi when he heard a male voice call:

" Di Notso? Is that you?"

Senior frowned, and then stopped and turned his head towards the sound. A small, slender,nattily dressed old man approached him and Senior grinned slowly as the man got closer and he recognized him.

"Shmeil? Shmeil Pinkhas, how the hell are you?" he wondered and extended a hand. Shmeil chuckled and took the proffered hand.

" Eh, I cannot complain, Di Notso. Who would listen?" he waved his other hand and winked. " You look wonderful, kid. Younger than ever. I'd ask your secret but I think I know what it is. I saw that beautiful woman you were with." he nodded.

Senior grinned. " Hey, watch it. That was my wife, Shmeil. " he said and held up his left hand.

Shmeil's eyes widened. " Really? Well, that's marvelous. Mazel tov." he said.

Senior smiled. "Thank you. So what are you doing here?" he asked.

Shmeil shrugged. " I had a meeting with some old friends about certain things I cannot discuss. Classified. " he said.

Senior raised an eyebrow. " I see. Well, I know better than to ask about the details. But I do hope everyone you know and love is safe and out of harm's way. " he said pointedly.

Shmeil smiled. " They are. Thank you. And yours?" he asked.

Senior sighed. "You know, Shmeil, I'm not so sure. " he said .

Shmeil frowned. " Are we talking about Tony? Oh my, I hope it's nothing serious." he said.

Senior nodded. " Yes, it's Tony. And I'm hoping to find out more ..Hey, are you free for lunch?" he asked suddenly, an idea sparking.

Shmeil shrugged again. " That depends. Are you buying?" he asked with a wink .

Senior chuckled and put his arm around the old man's shoulders. " Absolutely. " he assured him.

"Then I am free as a bird, friend. " Shmeil said. "What did you have in mind?" he wondered.

"The Adams House, and perhaps some discussion about my son, and your Ziva." he added.

Shmeil's face remained unflappable, but his curiosity was definitely piqued. He smiled broadly. "I like the way you think, we share a cab?" he asked .

Senior nodded and extended his arm towards the front door. "After you, Mr Pinkas." he said. He wasn't a believer in signs, or omens, but he was a big believer in timing and a little bit of luck now and then. Running into Shmeil was perfect timing, and more than a little bit of luck. Amd he could use all the luck fate could spare to help him with this one.

"I'll be back in an hour or so. " Tim stood up, glanced at his watch, and reached for his backpack. It was quiet enough around this place today to be postively eerie. Gibbs was over at NSA, trying to talk Bishop into returning. That whole situation had turned into something of a personal crusade, and no one could really explain the reason. She was a nice enough kid, but way out of her league, and she knew did. Except for Gibbs, and how he didn't see it remained a mystery.

"Take your time, Timmy. Enjoy." Tony said. He'd moved on from Maui, and was now reseaching Bali as a possible Honeymoon destination, after finding out that Faith honeymooned in Maui with her second ex-husband.

Tim stood behind his desk for a moment, just to see if the artist formerly known as Di Nozzo was about to make an appearance. At this point, anything would be welcome. A paper clip fight, a random McBarfbarg mention. A movie quote, a lousy impression of Sean Connery. He was growing a little desperate at this point.

Nothing came, though. Just the back of impeccably dressed Phony Tony and his search for just the right Honeymoon destination. Speaking of desperate. Hopefully, he'd find someplace where his fiancee hadn't already been on a honeymoon with a previous husband. He'd had a few pangs of conscience since the call to Di Nozzo Senior yesterday, but a full morning of peppy, chipper Pseudo DiNozzo was all the justification he needed.

Mercifully, the traffic from the Navy Yard over to the Adams House was light, and as he handed his car keys to the valet parking attendant, he heard someone call his name. Senior Di Nozzo waved from his spot on the sidewalk across the street and then turned to lend a hand to an elderly man emerging from a taxi. Tim frowned for a moment. He hadn't mentioned anything about bringing someone else along..but on closer inspection, Tim smiled. The old man wasn't just any old man. It was Shmeil. Ziva's Shmeil. How the hell had Senior managed to pull that one off?

"Wonderful to see you again, Timothy. You are looking well. Very well." Shmeil extended a hand as Tim stepped up onto the curb.

"Same here, Shmeil. Mr D didn't mention you'd be joining us, but it's always good to see you." he said as they shook turned to Senior.

" You're looking fit, Tim. Great to see you." Senior grinned as they shook hands. " And would you believe I ran into Shmeil in the lobby of my hotel? It's true, and I was lucky enough to convince him to join us." he added.

" Anthony told me of his concern for his son, and for my Ziva." Shmeil said. "I take it you share his concern?" he asked.

Tim smirked. "You could say that, yes. " he nodded. "I never thought I'd miss the real Tony Di Nozzo, but damned if I don't. " he shook his head and realized how that sounded. "No offense, Mr D. " he added quickly.

"None taken, Tim. I miss him ,too." Senior chuckled. "So, gentlemen. How about we head inside, have a bit of lunch, and discuss what he might be able to do about this situation?" he suggested.

"Sounds like a plan, Di Notso. I hope they have the rib eye. It's excellent." Shmeil chimed in.

Tony reached blindly for the ringing phone. Bali was likely off the table, unless he wanted to start off married life in hock up to his neck. They could probably swing it with her salary and his together, but he'd already promised her a honeymoon she would never forget, and to his mind, that meant he was paying for it. Alone. Maybe somewhere in Europe. Anywhere but Paris. Or the Middle east, for that matter. And Berlin was out, too. He finally picked up the phone on the fourth ring.

"Di Nozzo".

"Took you long enough." Faith's usually soft voice had a slight edge to it.

Tony furrowed his brow. "Sorry, honey. I was just...working. What's up?" he wondered.

" Don't tell me you forgot." she said and the furrows in his brow deepened. Damn it. The dry cleaning. Her dress for that thing in NY.

" The dry cleaning? No. I didn't forget. " he snatched the post it note he'd stuck to his computer screen as a reminder and tossed it in the trash. " I'm just finishing up, and I'll head over there during lunch hour. See? Your training is paying off." he told her, wishing he didn't sound quite so pathetic saying that last bit. It seemed to appease her though, so it was probably worth it.

"Of course it is. Didn't I tell you it would?" she said, the edge in her voice a little less prounounced now.

"Yes, you did. More than once, I recall. " he mused.

" A gentle reminder now and then never hurts, sweetheart. Our flight is at 6 on Saturday, and I just want to make sure everything is ready in time. " she said. " This could be a very important evening for me, Tony. For both of us, really. Lots of contacts, and you never know who you might meet." she added.

" A roomful of lawyers. " Tony mused. " You did mention there would be an open bar, didn't you, honey.?" he joked.

"Not funny, Di Nozzo." Faith warned him. " Go get my dry cleaning like a good little fiance, and I'll see you tonight. " she said.

" Tonight. " he acknowledged and hung up quickly, before she could squeeze in another reminder.

He stood up, grabbed his jacket and made sure he had his keys and oh shit, where was that damned ticket for the dry cleaning? He sat down again and opened the shallow drawer underneath the top of the desk. Paperclips, thumbtacks, half a pack of gum and a pen that didn't work. He closed that one and skipped right to the only other desk drawer that wasn't full of paperwork. The bottom left one that kept sticking for some reason. It wasn't likely he put it in there, but it was worth a look.

If he could get the damn thing open, that is. He yanked it hard, and it did open, but not all the way, and he reached his hand inside the drawer, searching for whatever it was that was keeping it from opening properly. It turned out to be a bent hanging file,the cardboard twisted up behind the back of the drawer and he reached down to work it free, allowing the drawer to open all the way. Which was all well and good, but didn't help with the dry cleaning ticket situation. He tossed the bent file into the trash, and something fell out of it and onto the floor. He leaned down to pick it up and the dry cleaning ticket fell out of his inside jacket pocket. He smirked, picked that up first and stuck it into his pants pocket. He then reached for the other piece of paper lying on the floor and his smirk faded as he turned it over.

Ziva. Beautiful, smiling Ziva in that fake baby belly. The photo was more than a little creased and one of the corners was torn, but the image was still crystal clear. He could have sworn he'd thrown all away her pictures, and someday, eventually, he'd get rid of that flash drive with the Ziva picture collection currently sitting at the bottom of his sock drawer, too. It had to count for something that he hadn't looked at anything on it in nearly six months, and really did have every intention of getting rid of it, just as soon as he made sure there were no pictures of anyone else he might regret tossing away later.

He touched the crease than ran right through the center of the photo with his index finger and remembered all the times he'd stared at this picture, drink in hand, the DVD player running in the background, playing something he'd probably seen at least ten times already. Something black and white and darkly noir; romantic and melancholy, like Laura, or Out of the Past. He remembered now how that file ended up crumpled at the back of the drawer. Gibbs and his 'move on' bullshit, barely two weeks after he'd returned from what was supposed to be another rescue mission. Except this time, he came back empty handed, and broken hearted.

Gibbs caught him looking at the picture and Tony made a silent promise to himself: if he head slapped him he was going to stand up and punch him in the nuts, consequences be damned. Neither thing happened, but what did happen was worse.

'Move on, Di Nozzo.'

As if she never meant anything to anyone. As if she were dead, like Caitlin. And Abby, whining about how 'she left us' and how it was pretty clear that they'd been fooling themselves all these years, and it was obvious she was never really part of this family, anyhow. When Ducky chimed in with a simliar sentiment, Tony shoved the picture in an empty file, tossed it into that drawer and kicked it shut with his foot. When he picked up his things and walked quickly to the elevator, Gibbs held up a hand when Tim tried to follow him.

"Let him go." Tony heard Gibbs say just before the elevator doors closed.

They may have all decided she wasn't worth remembering, but he couldn't get to that place, not yet. Actually, he couldn't imagine ever getting to a place where Ziva never existed. How could he? He went home that night and polished off two bottles of Pinot Noir he'd been saving for a special was clear that occasion was never going come, so why the hell not?Who cared if he was sick as dog the next day? They were all so busy moving on with their lives they barely noticed.

Except for Tim, who gave him sympathetic looks and wordlessly produced endless cups of black coffee that did nothing to tame the roiling nausea in his gut, but at the very least kept him awake and functioning. He was more convinced than ever that he would never get to that place, the place where he could walk and talk and function and exist in a world without Ziva.

And yet, here he was, at that very place, all these months later. At least, that's where he was most of the time. There were even times when it was difficult to remember the sound of her voice, or what her features really looked like. And then, there were times like right now, when those things were all he could think about, and the only things he wanted to remember.

The way her hair smelled, like almonds and honey. He'd sniffed a thousand shampoo bottles in search of that scent, and when he finally found it, he bought a bottle and kept it in his medicine cabinet, ashamed of himself for it, like Jack Lemmon in the Days of Wine and Roses stashing away secret bottles of liquor . There was no bottle that could conjure up the way her skin felt, or the sound of her voice while they were making love,but he didn't need one. He could conjure those up anytime, even now, all this time later,even after months of convincing himself that thinking about it at all was a bad idea.

She'd murmured words in languages he didn't understand as he touched her, and loved her in a way he'd only dreamt about for years, her skin golden and buttery soft under his caress. It was everything and more than he'd ever wished for, and nothing like what he expected. And when she leaned over him as they rocked together, hands and bodies intertwined, her hair falling over his shoulders, surrounding them like a silk curtain, she whispered words in a language he did understand.

'Ti amo tesoro mio. Sempre'

He knew then, and he knew it now, that a part of him would always be hers, until the day he died. He knew it still, even after everything hit the fan the next day, and all these months later. He'd found a way to be happy enough, and to make a life that didn't include her, but the part of himself that belonged to her would never be reachable to anyone.

He'd met Faith the day after Gibbs 'move on' missive, when she showed up to represent a civilian witness to the possible kidnapping of a missing Petty oficer. He was still feeling the effects of the hangover from the day before, and wasn't anywhere near the top of his game, so when she started flirting with him, tentatively at first, and then more aggressively as the interview with her client continued, it took him a moment to wonder if she was doing it to try and throw him off in some way.

It continued throughout the interview, and as he downed more coffee and his thoughts cleared a bit, he noticed how attractive she was. Dark hair and eyes, tanned skin, tall and slender with great legs and a nice smile. He returned that smile, a bit hesitantly at first,and it clearly wasn't going to be the full on DiNozzo grin, but he must have managed to pull off something fairly decent, because she continued the easy banter, the big doe eyes and the crossing and uncrossing of her legs through out the rest of the interview.

And when it was over, and she told the client to wait for her by the elevators, because she had something important to discuss with Agent DiNozzo, he decided that maybe he wasn't quite that off his game, after all. She wrote something down on the back of her business card and slid it inside his breast pocket, and as he watched her walk away, he started to feel almost human again. Not happy or anything, but capable of breathing and walking and talking. Small victories.

From there, the whole thing sort of just fell into place. He called her, they went to dinner at a place of her choosing, a place he'd never been before, but she obviously had. Most of the staff recognized her and called her by name. She turned on the flirtation full blast, and Tony found himself intrigued. Not thunderstruck or speechless, but intrigued was good when you were searching for footing somewhere, anywhere.

The sex that followed later at her place was good,too. Athletic, stimulating, satisfying. Like a great run in brisk weather. He could do this. Yes. He could. One date became another, and soon, he was introducing her to the people at the Navy Yard, who seemed relieved that this likely meant he wouldn't be mentioning Ziva any more.

Except for Tim, who greeted Faith politely, but seemed confused and a little hurt by the whole idea. He understood that. He was more than a little confused himself, but so grateful for the distraction from the bleak vision of a world without Ziva that he pressed on, closing off that part of himself that would always belong to her. He thought about throwing the picture away, but instead, opened the center drawer and put the photo there, under the paper clips. An appropriate place for the woman who had once announced that she could kill him 18 different ways with just one of those small pieces of twisted metal..

Instead, he would have ended up dying by inches every day without her, no paperclips in sight, if it hadn't been for the timing of Faith coming into his life. So what if it wasn't whispered words in the darkness and longing looks and heart stopping kisses and making love under the stars in an olive grove? It was good enough. The routine of life would have worn those things away eventually,anyway. And speaking of routine, he patted his pocket to make sure he had the dry cleaning ticket, grabbed his phone and his keys and closed the drawer. Enough of that. Thinking about the past and the way things used to be wasn't going to do him any good. As much as he hated to admit it, Gibbs was right. He needed to move on.

Adams House  
>Downtown Washington DC<p>

"And I made it out with four seconds to spare. " Shmiel said with a casual shrug and took another sip of wine. " Of course, I was much younger then. It was three years ago." he winked and his two companions chuckled heartily. Tim could listen to the old man talk for days. He'd been everywhere twice, seen everything there was to see, and loved to talk about all of it. A great storyteller. Except when it came to Ziva.

Oh, he'd mentioned how well she was doing in her new life, and that she was no where near Israel, but was someplace safe and comfortable. She had a new job, and she wasn't alone, and the last time he spoke to her, she sounded happy enough..But he did say something else, too. "Anything else you find will have to be on your own, Timothy." he added with a knowing smile. Tim returned that smile. With the information Mr D gave him about running into her in New York, and why she was there, it shouldn't be difficult at all to find out the rest. He was going to be a little busier than he expected this afternoon.

"So enough of me and my stories." Shmeil said. "Tell me, how is young Anthony doing?" he asked Senior. " Still a big hit with the ladies?"

Senior shrugged. " One lady in particular, Shmeil. He's engaged to be married. " he said .

Shmeil's face remained implacable as ever. "Is that so?" he asked .

Senior nodded. " Normally, I'd say Mazel Tov, Anthony. But you do not look thrilled about this situation." Shmeil offered.

"I'm not. Not at all. " Senior said and glanced across the table at Mc Gee.

" It's hard to explain, Shmeil. " Tim began and shook his head. "But Tony hasn't been Tony since..."

"Since he came back from Israel." Senior finished for him .

Tim nodded. " Something's missing. It's like part of him isn't there anymore. "

"And I think it has everything to do with Ziva." Senior continued. "In fact, I know that's the reason." he added.

"I see. " Shmeil said. "Perhaps he is over that now, with the engagement. Perhaps you will see the Tony you knew again." he offered.

"I doubt it. " Tim said. " May I ask you something, Shmeil?" he wondered .

The old man nodded. "Of course. I will not promise to answer, though. Not until I hear the question." he warned with a wink.

"Fair enough." Tim nodded. "You said Ziva is doing well, and that she sounded 'happy enough.'. " he began. " You've seen her since she left Israel, haven't you?" he asked and Shmeil nodded.

" Right. So did she seem 'happy enough'? Like her old self? Or did she seem different, or changed. like there was something missing?" Tim asked .

Shmeil smiled slightly. " I have heard the question. And I will answer it this way. The parts of Ziva that were there because of Eli. those parts are missing. She is no longer the sharp end of anyone's stick." he said. "And I believe that makes her very happy."Her life has more joy in it than sorrow, and that is a change for her. A good one." he added.

Senior and Tim's faces fell. "Oh. So I guess there's really no point in..." Tim began

"Ah, Timothy. " Shmeil interrupted and held up one finger. " I did not say her life had no sorrow. It does, as much as she tries to keep it to herself. It is like a shadow on her face sometimes. I fear there are still parts of her that are like the wounded bird, pretending she can still fly." he sighed and shook his head. "Especially when she thinks that no one is looking. She has always hidden her emotions well. " he said.

Tim nodded. "She has. But not from the people who really know her. And you know her as well as anyone." he said.

Shmeil smiled. "I do. I have known and loved that girl since before she was born. And it is my greatest wish to see her happy. "

" So now you know how I feel about my son." Senior said .

Shmeil nodded. "I do. And I will tell you this: I saw your son and my Ziva together, and I may be an old man, but I do remember what it was like to love like that. It is not forgotten or dismissed so easily." he said. "I know how much he did for her, how many times he saved her when her own father tossed her into the arms of death." he sighed.

" Unfortunately, I do not believe that my Ziva knows how to accept a love like that. For a very long time, I do not think she believed that kind of love existed, and even if it did, to her mind she would never be worthy of that kind of love. You forget that my Zivaleh...she is not like other women her age. " his smile was tinged with sadness.

" She went from her mother's home to the Army at the age of 17. Tali was killed a short time later, and then she lost her mother. Eli took over, and she became what he wanted her to be. His weapon of choice. " he said with disgust. " Whatever she said to your son to turn him away. I do not believe she meant it. I believe she still loves him very, very much. " he sighed again and took a sip of wine. " Young Anthony called me, you know." he said .

Tim nodded. "I know. He was so desperate to find her, It was just like that summer she went back to Mossad, but he was more desperate this time, I think. " he said.

"He thought they were finally headed somewhere together, Tim. " Senior said. " Do you remember what he was like when he finally tracked her down in Israel?" he asked. "He called me to tell me he'd be out of touch for awhile, and I hadn't heard that joy in his voice in forever. I haven't heard it since." he said.

Tim nodded. " Same here. He was practically bouncing on his heels the day he left. And when he came back well... I haven't seen him like that since that summer..when we all thought Ziva was dead. "he said.

Shmeil needed to hear more before he decided anything. " And now? He must be better now, with the plans to be married. He is happy again, yes?" he asked.

" He says he is. " Senior replied. "But I know what my son looks like when he's really happy. And what he is now? That ain't it." he sighed. "Look. I won't ask you for anything you don't feel comfortable telling me. But I saw the look on Ziva's face when I mentioned Tony. " he said. "Just tell us if you think we're wasting our time here, Shmeil. And we'll back off. " Senior said, glancing at Tim who nodded his agreement.

Shmeil leaned back in his chair and smiled. " If I thought you were wasting your time, I would not have come. No matter how delicious the rib eye. " he said. "Ziva has taken me into her confidence, and I have always thought of that as a sacred trust. So know that I cannot really tell you everything. It is not my place. " he began and Senior nodded.

" But I will tell you this; I believe Ziva still loves your son deeply. In a way she has not and will not ever love anyone else." he added. "I think that is the missing part of her you mentioned. " he took a sip of wine before he continued. "That is about all I can tell you about my Zivaleh. And of course, whatever you two gentlemen decide to do with that information is entirely your business. " he added with a wink and a held up his wine glass.

" A toast, if I may: To helping the people we love fill in the missing pieces." he offered.

Tim grinned and held up his glass of iced tea. "Works for me." he said.

"Absolutely" Senior agreed as the three men clinked glasses.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Navy Yard  
>Washington DC<br>Later that day

An: If Tony seems restrained and out of character, that's what I was aiming for. He's deep in denial here,

Tony glanced at the clock again. Five minutes later than the last time he looked.

"Clock watching, Di Nozzo?" Gibbs came storming around the bend from the elevator, coffee cup in his hand, a scowl on his face.

Tony decided to ignore the jibe . " How did it go at NSA, Boss?" he wondered. Gibbs glared at him and Tony held up his hands. "Forget I asked. " he said. " So... the pile of applicants over there..." he gestured to the pile of file folders on the empty desk across the aisle.

" Can stay there." Gibbs snapped. "I haven't given up yet." he said and reached for the phone.

Tony tuned his conversation out, and turned his thoughts back to wondering where Tim was. He rarely went out for lunch these days, and when he did, he never took this long. Not that it mattered, really. Things were slow around here, and Gibbs had them both going through the ready to be archived files. Normally, a probie's job, but they were probie-free these days, so it was all hands on deck.

"GOD DAMN IT." Tony looked up, startled, just in time to see Gibbs slam the phone down so hard, he cracked it. He shoved his chair backwards and stomped off in the general direction of Vance's waited until he was out of sight, and then shook his head. Talk about needing to move on. Apparently,someone didn't know how to take their own advice.

He realized he'd read the same sentence three times when the elevator dinged and he looked up, happy for any distraction. Tim emerged from the elevator, and Tony was about to tease him about his extended lunch when he noticed that Tim wasn't alone. His father emerged from the elevator, arm in arm with Linda. What the hell? He got to his feet immediately, and stepped out from behind the desk.

" Look who I ran into in the parking lot. " Tim announced with a smile.

" Thanks for the escort, Tim." Linda said. "Yes, thanks, Tim." Senior echoed .

"You're both very welcome. " Mc Gee replied and moved towards his desk. "I take it I didn't miss much?" he asked Tony.

"Not unless you count Gibbs breaking his phone. Again." Tony said.

Tim shook his head. " I guess things didn't go well over at NSA?" he asked.

"Correct. He should take a little of his own advice and 'move on'. " Tony provided air quotes, and Tim couldn't help but notice how bitter his words sounded. He remembered the move on speech Gibbs gave to Tony. Very well, in fact. He glanced at Senior, who gave him a knowing look in return.

Linda was complimenting Tony on his suit. "Thanks, it's another one I had hanging in the closet for awhile. I've been keeping my dry cleaner happy these days." he said .

Linda smiled and noticed the garment bag hanging on the side of his cubicle. "So I see." she said and pointed towards it.

"Actually, that's Faith's stuff. I just picked it up for her. We've got a thing this weekend up in NY. " he explained.

" A thing? " Linda asked.

Tony nodded. " Her firm is having a meet and greet with their NY office at the Players Club." he explained.

Linda smiled. "Oh, I love that place." she .

Tony smiled, too. "I've never actually been there, so I'm looking forward to seeing it. Even if it means a roomful of lawyers." he added.

Linda chuckled. "You can always sneak off and give yourself the nickel tour. It's a fascinating place. " she added. "And speaking of the nickel tour..." she glanced around. "Would now be a good time for the one you promised me?" she wondered.

"Go ahead. " Tim urged. "I've got this covered. " he said.

Tony smiled. " Okay, then. Sure. " he held out his arm and Linda took it. " Dad, you coming?" Tony asked.

"No, thanks, Junior. But take your time. Tim and I will do some catching up." Senior said and pulled a chair over to Tim's desk. He sat down and waved until they were out of sight, and then turned to Mc Gee. " Can we get started now?" he asked .

Tim laughed. " I already have. I'm running a trace on employment records for CGCN as we speak." he said. "That should give us an address, at the very least. "he added .

Senior nodded. "I don't want to just show up on her doorstep, though. " he said.

" I agree. Bad idea. " Tim mused. " I'll email her again before we decide on anything. Just to let her know I've been thinking about her and wondering how she is. Let's see if she answers. I doubt she'll volunteer anything, even if she does answer." he said. "You know...this whole thing could be solved in like ..an hour. If we could just get the two of them in the same place, at the same time." he added .

Senior smirked. "I don't think it would be quite that simple, Tim. But it would be a good start." he said.

"If we could just get them to talk to each other. " Tim added just as the computer dinged the search glanced at the screen. " There it is. Ziva David." he scrolled. "Wow." he said.

Senior leaned in closer. " What?" he wondered.

" The home address." Tim replied and pointed to it.

"Tarrytown. As in Tarrytown New York?" Senior asked with a grin.

" Shmeil did say he thought she was back here to stay. Tarrytown is pretty close to the city, isn't it?" Tim countered.

" 45 mins, more or less." Senior replied.

Tim nodded. "That makes Offices for CGCN are right near the UN." Tim said.

"A cab ride away from Grand Central. " Senior explained.

Tim smiled. "It's hard to picture Ziva on the Metro North. " he said.

Senior chuckled. "It is. " he admitted. "Is there an emergency contact listed, Tim? And what's the marital status?" he leaned in closer and squinted at the screen. '

"Single." Tim announced immediately .

Senior exhaled. "You didn't actually think she ..I mean, Shmeil would have mentioned it, wouldn't he?" Tim asked.

Senior shrugged. "Not necessarily. He's always very obtuse. A hazard of doing what he does for the last sixty years, I guess. The only thing he confirmed was that he felt Ziva was back here to stay, and that she still loved Tony. " he said.

"I did get the feeling he was leaving a lot out. On purpose. " Tim said .

Senior nodded. "He probably felt it wasn't his place to tell us. Which is probably true. " he mused for a moment and then waved his hand. "Oh, hell. It's a good cause, damn it. Right?" he asked.

Tim nodded. "Right. So...the emergency contacts are...Hannah Finkel and Adina Mendel." he said.

"Relatives, maybe?" Senior asked .

Tim smiled. "I'll find out. " he said and began typing furiously.

It took twenty minutes of digging through Ziva's Mossad files, but he finally found out that Hannah, also known as Nettie, and her sister Adina were Ziva's Aunts, her late mother's two sisters. More than likely, two of the last remaining blood relatives she had left in the world. "It makes sense, I guess. She probably wanted them out of Israel and with her, considering what's going on over there these days." Tim said .

Senior nodded. "I guess. The Tarrytown thing is a little odd, though, don't you think?" he asked. "I mean, why not live in Manhattan?" he wondered.

"Because it's expensive?" a familiar voice chimed in and Tim closed up the search pages quickly as Tony and Linda approached. "Ah, but worth every penny. Don't you agree, sweetheart?" Linda asked her husband.

Senior got to his feet with a smile. " Absolutely. " he said. "So, did Junior show you the two way mirror?" he wondered.

Linda chuckled. "He did. Along with that eye thingy scanner. Impressive." she said. " What have the two of you been up too?" she added.

" Eh, just doing a little bs ing about real estate. " Senior waved his hand.

" You two thinking about moving? " Tony wondered.

"Nope. " Senior said firmly.

"Your father and I already decided that we are never leaving NY. " Linda said .

Tony raised an eyebrow. " I heard you mention Tarrytown, though. But I guess technically, that is still NY. " he said .

Senior smirked. "I guess so. It is a lovely little town, though. You probably don't remember, but I took you to see Sinatra at the Town Hall there a million years ago. For your birthday." he added.

Tony raised an eyebrow and then smiled. "I remember. And we stopped in Sleepy Hollow, too." he said. " I was disappointed because nobody was riding around on a horse carrying their own head." he recalled with a laugh. " Pretty place, made you think of Tarrytown?" he wondered .

"No particular reason. Have you thought about where you and Faith are going to live?" Senior asked.

Tony frowned. "No .Not yet. " he said. " We've only been engaged for a couple of days. " he added.

" So no definite plans yet?" Linda asked.

Tony shook his head. "No. Nothing past this weekend, at least. " he said. "Hey, you know, I just had a great idea." Tony said and snapped his fingers. "How about you meet us at the Players Club tomorrow for a drink? I know Faith would love to see both of you again. " he added. " And you can give me the nickel tour." he told Linda.

She laughed. " I'd love it. And you, Darling? " she asked her husband. " Did you have anything special in mind for tomorrow?" she wondered.

"I'm having a drink with my son and his fiance and my beautiful wife at the Players club. " Senior replied .

Tony grinned. "Great. Terrific." he said. "Say around 7. The laywer thing starts at 8, I think. " he added.

"Sounds fine, son. " Senior said. "But we should be getitng back to the hotel now. We booked the Acella for this evening. " he said and turned around.

Tim had quietly slipped back to his desk, and was busily typing away. "Tim? Good to see you as always. " Senior called out and held up one hand.

Mc Gee looked up. "You too, Mr D. Mrs D. I apologize for just sort of leaving the conversation, but I just got an email that really couldn't wait for a response." he said and hoped Mr D would get the hint.

Senior paused for a moment, noticed the gleam in McGee's eye and smiled. " The wounded bird?" he asked .

Mc Gee's grin widened. " Yes. " he said.

Tony frowned. "Wounded bird? You joining the Audubon society, Timmy?" he asked.

" No, not quite." Mc Gee said. " Have a safe trip," he said and resumed typing.

Tony looked puzzled and then shrugged. "I guess everyone needs a hobby." he said. " Did you drive over here?" he asked Linda.

"No we took a cab." she replied.

Tony glanced over at Gibbs empty desk and decided to live dangerously. " I'll drive you back. " he said.

" Oh, no Junior. We can catch a cab. " Senior said.

"Yes, you could. But why should you when I have a car?" Tony said and grabbed his keys. "Tim.." he began .

Mc Gee waved without looking up from the computer. "I've got it. You went to get more white out." he said.

Tony grinned. "Excellent. See? it's fine." he said and took Linda's arm. " You can tell me a little about the Players club on the way. " he said as they walked to the elevator.

Senior hung back, glanced over at Tim, and hissed. "PSSST."

Tim looked up. "Send me that email?" he mouthed and Mc Gee gave him a thumbs up.

"DAD?" Tony called out from inside the elevator.

"Coming, Junior!" Senior replied and walked quickly towards the elevator.

Tim quickly sent the email on to Senior and re-read it, just to make sure he didn't miss anything.

**From:TGemcity**  
><strong>To:FalafelQueen<strong>

**Hey, stranger. Just checking in to make sure you're still okay. The news out of Israel makes me wonder if you're safe and still in one piece. You may not work here anymore, but your friends still worry about you. A quick note from you would help a lot. Just sayin'. Hope to hear from you** .

**From :FalafelQueen**  
><strong>To:TGemcity<strong>

**Hey yourself,Tim. I do not wish to ever be considered a stranger to you, and I apologize if that is how I made it you for worrying about me, but I am fine, and still in one piece. Just so you know, I do not really use this email address much anymore, but I do check it now and then, and today happened to be one of those days. My new address is Z1182 . I miss you, Tim, and hope that you are well and happy. I would like it if we could email each other regularly, if you have the time,or the desire. You are in my thoughts often. Love, Z.**

No, he hadn't missed anything, and hadn't been mistaken about his first impression. It sounded much more like the Ziva he knew. Her first email had been short and politely affectionate, but didn't sound like her. This one did. He wasn't surprised about the new email address, considering Tony had helped her choose the name for old one. He read over his reply one more time.

**To:Z1182**  
><strong>From:TGemcity<strong>

**I took you up on your idea to email each other more often immediately. I hope you don't mind. I am well , thanks for the good thoughts, and happy, I guess, is a relative are the not quite the same around here these days..I apologize for not asking sooner if you're happy, too. Are you? Have you found what you were looking for? I hope so. I'd like to hear whatever you feel you can tell me about your life these days. Especially the parts that make you can start small, we can pretend we've been corresponding all the time all along. So, Z, Any plans for the weekend? Tim.**

He hesitated for just a moment, and then hit the send button. Hopefully, she wouldn't be offended by that last bit. They used to ask each other that question all the time in the old days, sometimes starting as early as Monday afternoon if things got extra hinky. He hoped it reminded her of the good times, the times when it felt like these people and this place were the most important parts of his life. In a lot of ways, they still were, but it wasn't the same, and it never really would . Not while there was still so much left unfinished here, and it couldn't be finished without Ziva. Now he just had to hope he hadn't scared her off, and that she'd answer.

Ziva's phone buzzed and jumped a little on the small table next to her chair. Thankfully, the tablecloth prevented it from jumping right off the table and onto the floor and she reached for it carefully, hoping not to disturb the child sucking eagerly at her right breast. Nina did not like it at all when her mealtime was interrupted. She eased back against the chair slowly, Nina still sucking away, her eyes bright teal, surveying the unfamiliar surroundings, one hand on Ziva's arm. She always did that, as if she were holding her in place. Ziva never felt the need to be held in one place less than she did during these moments. Even if they took place in a fancy, overdecorated room at Bergdorf's. She glanced at her phone, saw the email notification and smiled when she opened it . It was from Tim, as she expected and she read it twice, a lump forming in her throat the second time.

Dear. sweet Mc didn't surprise her that he had been the only one to reach out to her since her departure from NCIS. Mc Gee was never one to hold a grudge, his gentle soul simply would not allow it. She understood why she had not heard from the others, but that did not make it hurt any less .It hurt a lot at first, in spite of her insistence that she needed to go through what she was going through alone. By herself. Nina changed that, of course, and now she wished she had done things very differently. But all of that luggage did not make her any less happy to hear from her old friend.

And just when she was trying to think of a way answer his question about what was making her happy these days,(without really answering it of course), he brought tears to her eyes and made her remember those discussions across the aisle, the ones that sometimes started on Monday if things were really awful, and other times ended in paper airplane fights, or arguments about date movies or make out songs. Sometimes, those discussions continued in what Tony and Tim called the Watering Hole down the street from the yard, the place with the peanut shells on the floor and the booths held together with masking tape. A dive, but some of the best times they ever had together happened in that place.

She decided to tackle his question about her weekend plans, and avoid the rest and hope he would not notice. That hope was futile and she knew it. Of course he would notice. But at least this would give her time to come up with something else. Nina had dozed off, and Ziva eased her daughter's mouth off her breast with her finger, hoping she wouldn't stir.

She didn't, snoring lightly through her tiny nose, eyelashes still against her flushed cheeks. Ziva fixed her bra and adjusted her blouse,and set Nina down in the carrier, pausing just in case she woke up. Nina stretched and yawned and shifted and went back to sleep, and Ziva buckled her in and covered her with a blanket before she sat up staight again and reached for her phone.

**FromZ1182**  
><strong>To:TGemcity<strong>

**I am glad you took me up on my offer, Tim. And for the question about the weekend. It made me think about the Watering Hole, and the booth with the green masking tape, and that phone number scratched on the table that we actually called that one time. Remember? As for this weekend, I have something on Saturday that is sort of related to my work. I suppose I should tell you what it is I do these days, but I will save that for another time. This thing on Saturday is at a place called The Player's club, apparently it is very old and historic and was started by the brother of the man who shot Abraham Lincoln. Our 16th President. I still remember some of those questions from the citizenship exam, after all. At any rate, those are my plans for the immediate future, thank you for asking and making me remember good times.**

**What are your plans for the weekend, Mc Gee? Love, Z.**

She read it over, and hit send just as Adina's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Zivaleh?" she asked while knocking. Ziva got to her feet to open the door, hoping the sound had not awakened Nina. It had not, and she continued to snore in her carrier as Ziva opened the door and put her index finger to her lips. Adina glanced at the sleeping baby and nodded. "Your dress is ready, the alterations are done." Adina whispered. " Now we must go down to the shoe department." she said and noticed the tears in Ziva's eyes. "Is something wrong, darling? Is it Nina?" she asked .

Ziva smiled. "No, she is fine.I am not sure how much longer that will last though, you know how cranky she gets when she is tired. " she said, neatly avoiding the question.

Adina narrowed her eyes. " We will not be much longer. And she will likely sleep through most of it. Are you sure you are all right?" she wondered .

Ziva nodded and picked up the carrier and her baby bag and purse. "I am fine, Dodah." she said .

Adina shrugged and then smiled. "If you say so, my love. Wait until you see the shoes I had Louise set aside for ." she said. Ziva was not so sure she was ready for any of this, but she smiled and nodded and followed her Aunt to the elevator.

Tony stuck his head outside the elevator doors, peering over the top of the cubicles. Still no sign of Gibbs, and he let go of the open button and made his way over to his Gee was peering at his computer screen, grinning like he just won the lottery.

Tony set down his backpack and took off his jacket. "Good news?" he asked.

Mc Gee looked up. "What? " he asked .

Tony pointed to his face. "That grin on your face. Good news?" he repeated .

Mc Gee shrugged. "You could say that, I guess. " he said.

Tony walked towards him and Mc Gee closed up Ziva's email. " Good news of the female variety,Timothy?" Tony wondered .

Mc Gee smirked. "As a matter of fact, yes. " he said .

Tony grinned. " Excellent. So let's hear some details." he urged and sat on the edge of Gibbs desk.

Tim shrugged. "There's nothing much to tell, really. An old friend I lost contact with got back in touch. " he said.

Tony frowned. "That's weird. "he said.

" I don't see what's so weird about it. Believe it or not, I do have friends, some of them of the female persuasion." Mc Gee smirked .

Tony shook his head. "No, not that. It's weird that the same thing just happened to my dad. On the way back to the hotel he got an email, and he was grinning just like you were. He mentioned something about an old friend getting back in touch. Strange. " he mused.

" A coincidence, I guess. " Mc Gee said. He'd sent Ziva's email to Senior seconds after reading it. Tony had no idea what was about to happen, and Mc Gee wasn't about to tell him.

" You haven't heard from any old friends recently, I guess. " Tim said.

Tony eyes darkened, but his face was unreadable. "Nope. I haven't. Don't think I will, either. " he said and got to his feet .

Mc Gee watched him go. I wouldn't be so sure about that, Di Nozzo, he mused and opened up the email again.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Player's Club  
>Gramercy Park<br>NYC  
>The next evening<p>

"Did you know that Mark Twain was once the president of this place? And so was William Tecumseh Sherman?" Tony asked Faith as they disembarked from the taxi in front of the historic structure.

" Yes. Are you sure this looks all right?" Faith replied and smoothed down some non existent wrinkles in her dress. She looked lovely in the silver sequined shift and matching shoes, but she'd fretted about wrinkles and somehow tarnishing the sequins the entire trip over from the Hotel.

"It looks fantastic. I'll bet you don't know who the first female member was.." Tony countered, trying to get her to change the subject.

"Helen Hayes. " she replied.

Tony smirked. "Okay. Fine, smarty pants. " he said. " I'll just be over here, geeking out over this history of this place. " he said.

Faith smiled. " I figured you'd get a kick out of it. I'm just surprised you've never been here before." she said.

He shrugged. "Never got an invite until now. " he said. " The Screen Actor's Guild started right in this building. George M Cohan belonged to this building was designed by Stanford White! " he grinned and she frowned.

"You're not going to go on like this all night, are you?" Faith asked.

Tony shrugged. "If I feel the urge, I'll excuse myself. " he said as another car pulled up to the curb. Oh. Great. Warren Hirsch, Senior Partner of Hirsch, Dingle and Witt (or Worst, Dingleberry and Twit, as Tony liked to call them) emerged from a vintage Packard town car. Of course, Warren couldn't take any old pedestrian taxi cab. Nope. And of course he didn't have a date on his arm. Warren liked to keep his options open, female-wise. His exact words to Tony at the last business function. Apparently, Warren liked to think of himself as a modern day CC Baxter, right down to the bowler hat. Pretentious douche. It appeared he left the bowler home this evening, but added another equally pretentious touch in it's place: A silver tipped walking cane. Oy Vey.

"Greetings, chums!" he said as he approached, cane in hand. His suit was handmade, as were his shoes, and the ascot at his neck probably cost more than Tony's last paycheck.

" Warren, I didn't expect to see you this early." Faith smiled and extended her hand.

Warren leaned down and kissed it and noticed the ring on her finger. He raised his head. "Are congratulations in order?" he asked .

Tony glanced at Faith. "You didn't tell him?" he asked.

" I haven't had the chance. Warren's been in London the past week. " Faith said. " And yes, congratulations are in order. Tony and I are officially official." she added.

Warren stood up straight and held onto Faith's hands. " Well then. I suppose the only thing I can do is wish you happiness. If this is what you really want, I'm happy for you." he said .Tony narrowed his gaze. He suddenly had the urge to kick Cane boy in the nuts, especially after he did the uber pretentious kiss on each cheek move with Faith. Faith seemed to take it all in stride, in fact, she seemed as flattered by the attention from Warren as always. She told Tony she was just playing along, and that all the women who worked at the firm did the same thing, and he got that..He wasn't jealous, exactly. He understood having to play the game to get along. He'd played it for years with Gibbs, in a different way.

" Tony. Congratulations." Warren said and extended his hand.

"Thanks." Tony said as they shook hands.

" Would you mind if I stole your fiance?" Warren asked .

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" he asked .

Warren smiled his phony smile. "Just for a bit,sport. I'd like to go over the list of clients attending tonight. If you don't mind." he added.

Tony glanced at Faith, who smiled and patted Tony's lapel. "I'll come and find you. This will give you a chance to look around." she said. Frankly, a tour of this place sounded like it could be the best option he'd be presented with tonight. He was happy Faith was doing well in her new job, but her boss was a complete tool.

"Sure. Sounds like a plan. " Tony said .

Faith smiled and kissed his cheek. " See you in a bit." she said and Tony remained at the curb, feeling like the cuckold in a French farce. Damn it.

"Junior! Hold up!" Tony turned around as Senior and Linda approached, arm in arm.

"What happened? We saw Faith go inside.." Senior asked.

" With her boss." Tony explained and leaned in to kiss Linda on the cheek. "You look lovely, as always. " he told her and she smiled.

"And you are sweet, as always. " she said. "Why didn't you go along?" she wondered .

Tony smirked. "If you want to get technical, I wasn't invited. " he answered. " But I can't say I was crushed by the slight. " he added. "I really can't stand that guy, but he is Faith's boss, so I try to be as civil as possible. " he said.

Senior nodded. "Understood, believe me." he said.

Tony furrowed his brow. "Meaning?" he asked.

Senior smiled. "Meaning, nothing, Junior. Except, I understand tolerating people because they're important to someone you care about." he explained and watched anger color his son's face.

" You're talking about Faith, aren't you?" Tony snapped.

Senior's jaw dropped. "No, no. NO." he said quickly. "No, seriously, how could you think that? " he asked. "Faith is a lovely girl. Really." he said genuinely. He really did believe that, but that didn't mean he thought she was the right person for Tony. She wasn't.

Tony looked momentarily appeased, and then sheepish. "I'm sorry for flying off the handle that way." he said. " It's that Warren...he pisses me off." he explained and then paused. "So if you weren't talking about Faith, who did you mean?" he asked and noticed how Senior hesitated.

"You sure you want to know, Junior?" he asked .

Tony nodded. "Okay, then. I was referring to Gibbs. " he replied. "Now, can we go inside and get a drink?" he wondered. Linda studied her husband carefully as an awkward silence fell between father and son.

Tony's initial reaction was surprise. He thought his father respected Gibbs as much as he did. Or used to. Gibbs behavior and reactions this past year had done a lot to knock him off the pedestal Tony put him on years ago, and his interactions with his boss had grown more stilted and awkward than he could have ever imagined. Nowadays, he just tried to stay out of his way, and kept most conversations to a minimum.

Tony smiled. " Sure. " he said . "But only if you promise to explain what you meant by that." he smiled

" That's a deal." Senior said and Linda took each of their arms.

" That's better. " she said. " If you two behave, I'll give you both an exclusive tour, and I might even throw in the story of the time I was here and had a lovely chat with Eli Wallach." she said.

Tony grinned. "Eli Wallach? THE Eli Wallach? Baby Doll, The Misfits, The Magnificent Seven?" he asked.

Linda nodded. "That's the one." she said. "Shall we? I'm thirsty."she added and steered them all towards the elegant front doors.

Twenty minutes later, another taxi cab pulled up to the curb, and a tall, attractive young man with dark, wavy hair emerged from the back seat and rebuttoned his suit jacket. He paid the driver and extended one hand to his companion in the back seat. Ziva exhaled, determined to overcome the nerves that had her feeling like she was a teenager on her first date. Technically, this was a first date, but even that should not make her this nervous. She did not remember feeling this nervous on her actual first date ever, back when she was 13 years old. Of course, that had been with Shlomo Bernstein, a boy four inches shorter than she was with bright red hair, freckles and a tendency to sweat profusely. Poor thing.

This was not really a date, but her stomach apparently thought it was, flop flipping all over the place. She placed her hand inside Aaron's and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She had not worn heels quite this high in a long time, and while the shoes were beautiful and as comfortable as a four inch heel could possibly be, she knew her feet would be a mess by tomorrow. All for a good cause, hopefully.

" Have I mentioned how stunning you look tonight?" Aaron asked as the taxi pulled away.

Ziva smiled. "You have. Thank you." she said and studied the small building before them. "I have read a bit about the history of this place. Fascinating." she said .

Aaron nodded and offered his arm. " It was designed by Stanford White, a very famous man during the beginning of the last century. The story goes that he had his last meal here the night he was murdered. " he said as they walked towards the entrance.

Ziva paused. "He was murdered?" she asked .

Aaron nodded. " Yes. At Madison Square Garden. " he said.

Ziva frowned. " Is that not the place where they play basketball?" she asked.

Aaron chuckled. "Yes, but this was the old Madison Square Garden, the first one. They held operas there, and boxing matches, and ballets. It had a roof garden restaurant, and every one who was anyone back then ate there. The Astors, JP Morgan, The Vanderbilts. And Stanford White, who also designed it." he continued .

Ziva smiled. "It sounds remarkable. The Gilded Age, yes?" she asked .

Aaron smiled. "Exactly." he nodded.

"So, who murdered him?" Ziva wondered.

" Harry Kendall Thaw. It's a complicated story, but the basics are that White seduced Harry's wife when she was sixteen, and Harry could never get past that. It literally drove him insane. So one night, he went to the roofgarden restaurant, walked up to White and shot him." Aaron explained. " And I didn't mean to give you a history lesson, sorry. " he added sheepishly.

"Do not be. It is very interesting. What happened to Harry?" Ziva wondered.

"Not guilty by reason of insanity. A landmark case, really. " Aaron explained. "Love makes some people literally crazy, I guess. " he added and held open the door for her.

Ziva smiled, but felt that last remark down to her core. Love had made her crazy. Her desire to be loved by her father had nearly driven her to her death. Her love for her mother and her sister had ended in heartbreak when they both were taken too soon. Too many men had offered her love, and then betrayed her when she did not or could not live up to their expectations, or simply because they were just no good.

And then there was one man, who was good, and lived up to and beyond all of her expectations, and that love had made her crazy, too. Crazy enough to throw it away.

"Hey. " Aaron's voice roused her from her thoughts.

She looked up quickly. "Sorry. I was just thinking about that story. It would make a good movie, no?" she asked ,

Aaron chuckled. "Actually..." he began and let the door close behind them.

"Wow, these pictures." Tony mused as they sipped martinis and looked at the some of the photographs on the walls.

"General Sherman. " Senior noted and studied the photograph. "Did you know he was relieved of his command at his own request? During the first year of the war. He was so depressed, the wire services declared that he done for. Finished. He wasn't, of course, he came roaring back, and nearly won the war for the North all by himself. A hell of a second act, I'd say." Senior mused.

"Not too shabby. " Tony agreed. "Imagine what this place was like back then? " he shook his head.

" Imagine what this city was like then?" Linda offered . "And you wonder why your Dad and I don't want to leave. Because of places like this." she said.

Tony nodded. " And there's the man himself. Stanford White." he pointed to his picture. "He designs the Washingon Square Arch, and the thing he's most remembered for is how he died." he said. " That sucks." he added .

Senior chuckled. "It does. But love can drive people crazy. Poor Stanny found that out the hard way. Hey, let's go check out the library, shall we?" he suggested.

"Good idea. And you have to see Edwin Booth's room. They left it just they way it was when he lived here." Linda added.

Tony smiled. " I'll catch up with you. I want to take a look at the rest of these pictures." he said.

" And there's the Sargent room, named for the painter. " Aaron explained.

"John Singer Sargent." Ziva nodded. "I am an admirer of his work. " she added and Aaron grinned. "Me, too. They're selling the portrait of Joseph Jefferson, so this would be a good chance to see it before that happens " he said.

Ziva nodded. "I read about that. They need to raise money quickly, apparently. That is a shame." she said.

Aaron nodded. "It is. They already lost Sargent's portrait of Booth, but at least it went to a museum where other people can see it. " he said as they approached the small room. "It would be a shame to lose a place with so much history." he said .Ziva nodded and was about to enter the room when an elegantly dressed man wearing an ascot and brandishing a silver tipped walking stick approached them.

" Aaron, wonderful to see you again." the man extended his hand.

Aaron smiled. "Same here, Warren. How was the trip up from DC?" he asked.

" Not terrible. " Warren replied and glanced at Ziva.

"You must introduce me to your exquisite friend, Aaron. " he said .

Aaron smirked. "Of course. Warren Hirsch, Ziva David. " Aaron replied.

Warren smiled. "An exotic name to match your exotic beauty. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Selma Hayek?" he asked her and Ziva flashed on a time nearly a decade earlier, when some one had indeed told her that very same thing. She smiled.

" Perhaps. " she said and extended her hand "Nice to meet you, Mr Hirsch." she said.

The man shifted his cane to his other hand, took her offered hand and brought it to his lips instead of shaking it as she'd expected. "A pleasure, Ms. David." he said and then straightened up. " Aaron, we're having a sort of impromptu staff meeting in the library, I hope you don't mind if I steal you away from the divine Ms David for just a moment." he said. Aaron glanced at Ziva.

"Of course not. Go. I will certainly find ways to keep myself occupied here." she said.

Aaron nodded. "I'll come and find you when we're done, all right?" he asked and Ziva nodded and watched them depart. A mojito would go down nicely right about now, to soothe her still jangling nerves, and as a reward for all that breast milk she'd expressed and stashed in the freezer this morning. The bar had to be around here somewhere.

"Nothing. No sign of her yet." Linda reported as she met her husband by the fireplace.

" I haven't seen..." he began and then broke into a slow grin. " The eagle has landed." he said .

Linda looked around. "Where?" she demanded.

Senior gestured with the hand that held his martini glass. " There, in the hallway." he said. "In the bronze colored dress." he added.

Linda glanced at the doorway. "Oh, my." she mused. "Her picture didn't do her justice at all." she said .

Senior linked his arm through hers. "Come on. I'll introduce you." he said and Linda held back.

"I don't know. Do you think we should?" she asked .

"Yes. Absolutely. It would be rude not to." he said .

Linda smirked ."Fine." she said. "Just remember, no interfering or trying to push them together. You promised. " she said .

Senior nodded. "Of course." he said as they crossed the room.

Ziva was studying a portrait of Spencer Tracy and savoring her cherry mojito when someone called her name. The voice was both distinctive, and familiar, and she wondered if it could possibly be a coincidence instead of.

"Ziva."

She turned around when the voice repeated her name, and discovered it was not a coincidence.

It was DiNozzo, Senior,accompanied by a lovely, elegantly dressed woman with red hair. "We have got to stop meeting like this, sweetheart." Senior said.

Ziva blinked for a moment, trying to think of a graceful way to run out of the building in four inch heels.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

AN: Thanks again for the lovely reviews and follows. I love the idea that there are some of us unwilling to swallow what Gasbag has chosen to shove at us.:) Italics denote flashbacks.

Linda Turner DiNozzo loved her husband. She really did. But he had a tendency to be much too pleased with himself at times, and now was one of those times. He was so busy grinning and turning on the DiNozzo charm, that he completely missed the look of utter panic on Ziva's face.

" I'm sorry if we startled you." Linda said carefully. " It's actually my fault. I've been wanting to meet you since I missed your speech at the Pierre. I'm Linda Di Nozzo." she said and extended her hand.

Ziva blinked again, and then stared down at the impeccably manicured hand extended towards her for a moment before she regained her composure, plastered on a smile and shook hands with Linda.

" Ziva David." she said and then cleared her throat when her voice came out rough and nervous.

Linda smiled, hoping to ease the deer in the headlights look in the young woman's eyes. "A pleasure. I didn't get an announcement about a GCCN event. Is there one here tonight?" Linda asked, even though she knew the answer.

Ziva's eyes lost the panicked, stricken look, and were now more focused,her smile a bit less manic. "Officially, no. But you could say that I am here on their behalf tonight." she answered.

Linda smiled. "Oh, really? Are you going to give a speech?" she asked.

"No." Ziva said quickly. " It is difficult to explain. Do you know of GCCN?" she asked .

Linda nodded. "Oh, yes. I work for PIF." she said.

Ziva's smile was now genuine, and dazzling. "Pay it Forward? They are one of our biggest contributors." she said,

Linda beamed. "I know. " she said proudly. " We love the work you do and think your agency deserves a lot more attention." she added.

Ziva nodded. " We are small, but I like to think that we work harder because of it. " she said and glanced at Senior and then at his wife. " May I ask you something, Mrs Di Nozzo?" she began.

Linda nodded. "Of course. " she said.

"Do you know who I am?" Ziva wondered. " I think perhaps if you knew everything about me you.." she began.

"Sweetheart." Senior cut in. " Linda knows you worked with Junior. " he said. "I told her about you." he added quickly. Ziva nodded. So it did not come from Tony. Hardly surprising, but it still hurt more than Ziva might have expected.

" If you're not busy, or waiting for someone, I'd love to hear a little more about how you got involved with GCCN." Linda said.

Ziva glanced around for any sign of Aaron, and found none. She could not afford to anger someone who worked for Pay it Forward, of course. But she also did not want to be rude to Mr DiNozzo, or his new wife, who seemed like a lovely woman.

" I am waiting for someone, but he said he would come and find me." she answered .

Linda smiled. "Good. Then he can come and find you in the Sargent room. I'd love to get a look at the Jefferson portrait. I'm a big fan of his work." she said.

Ziva glanced around warily and then smiled. " So am I. " she said.

"Let's do it, then." Linda said and turned to her husband. " You don't mind, do you, darling?" she asked.

Senior smiled. "Of course not. I'll be around here somewhere." he waved his hand.

Linda nodded and winked and then turned back to Ziva.. 'Now, before we get down to business, I have to know where you got your dress. It's stunning. " she began as they walked out of the room.

Tony peeked his head inside another room as he passed by, searching for Senior, whose white hair was easy to spot from a distance. This time, he got lucky,and saw him across the room, standing by the fireplace watchin as his wife left the room through the doorway on the opposite side. Linda wasn't alone, and while Tony didn't get a good look the person she was with, he did notice she was female with long dark, hair, and of course, his heart did the standard, beating a little faster thing it usually did when he saw a woman with long dark hair who reminded him of someone else. He hoped that wasn't going to be the case for the rest of his natural life,and that time and the distraction of a new life with a wife and family would make it stop.

This one really did look like her, though, even if his only view of her was from behind, which by coincidence, happened to be spectacular, too. Maybe this was the same spectacular behind he'd seen at the Pierre. Same city, and stranger things had happened. Whoever she was, she and Linda seemed to be hitting it off. He walked across the room towards his father.

" What did I miss?" Tony asked as he approached and Senior turned his head, apparently surprised by the question, and his sudden appearance. "Whoa, it's not that difficult a question, Pop." Tony said when Senior turned a little pale. "What's the matter?" Tony asked quickly.

"Nothing. You just surprised me, son. " he said, recovering nicely."How about this place, huh? Fascinating, isn't it?" he asked.

Tony nodded. " Yeah, it is. Where was Linda going?" he wondered.

"Oh, she met someone from CGCN, and they went off to talk about it." Senior explained.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Really? Wow, I would love to sit in on that conversation. I've been wanting to hear more about CGCN since Linda mentioned them..You don't suppose.."

" Don't suppose what?" a soft voice interrupted and Tony turned around and saw Faith gazing at him suspciously.

" There you are. I was wondering if you'd decided to run off for good with Pepe Le Douche." Tony said .

Faith smirked. " Not funny. " she said. " We got a little sidetracked with the group from the NY office. Nice bunch." Faith remarked. "But I'm all yours now. " she added and linked her arm through his. "I take it you've been looking around?" she asked .

Tony grinned. "I have. But I thought we could look at the Sargent room together. " he said .

Faith wrinkled her nose. "I'm not really a fan, but if you insist." she said.

Tony frowned. "I thought you loved Sargent?" he asked.

Faith shook her head. "You must have me confused with one of your other fiances." she said and a memory hit Tony with the force of a six foot wall of water.

_"It is beautiful, is it not?" Ziva offered, one arm crooked beneath her head as she stared up at the night sky. Tony had started out beside her on the soft cotton sheet she'd brought outside to cover the ground beneath the olive trees, but he quickly moved his head onto her stomach, and she combed her fingers gently through his hair with her free hand. It was cool here, cooler than it was inside the house, and if he had spent a more perfect night anywhere in his lifetime, he couldn't remember when that may have been._

_."Exquisite." Tony said and she glanced down to find him looking at her, and not the sky. She ruffled his hair and then stroked his bearded cheeks._

_ "I have decided about this." she said._

_ Tony opened one eye halfway. " Do I want to hear this?" he asked and she smiled. _

_"I have decided that I like it very much. You look like an artist" Her touch was so tender that his eyes closed again by themselves and he exhaled, as if he'd been holding his breath for a long, long time. _

_" It's too bad I have absolutely zero artistic ability." he said and opened his eyes again. She studied his face carefully for a long time, caressing his skin and hair with a feather light touch. He was so completely relaxed and replete and happy that he had to fight off sleep. He forced his eyes open and glanced up at her, and then at the sky. " It is beautiful. Like that Van Gogh painting. " he said ._

_"Starry Night." she nodded her agreement. "I am not much of a Van Gogh fan, but that one is lovely. " she said _

_Tony turned his face into her palm and kissed it. " Okay. So buying you a Van Gogh is out." he murmured and held onto her hand. "Who would you like me to buy for you, my love? Gaugin? Lautrec?Renoir?" he asked . "Rhetorically speaking, of course. " he added._

_She smiled. "Of course. " she nodded. " I am not sure. I like Portraits. But the traditional kind, not the ones with three eyes or square heads. " she said . _

_He nodded. " Okay, so Picasso is definitely out. We're talking more along the lines of Rembrandt and Vermeer and Sargent, then. " he said and watched her face light up. _

_"Oooh, yes. Sargent. I like him very much. Especially his portraits of children. And the one called Madame X. " she said. Tony grinned. "A favorite of mine. I used to go the to the Met and stare at it for hours. Someday, we'll see it together." he said and pulled her down for a kiss._

"Tony. TONY." Faith tapped his cheek lightly with her hand and he looked at her blankly. " Honestly, I was about to call a doctor." she complained. " What on earth is wrong with you?" she demanded.

Senior's face appeared behind her, full of concern. "You're white as a sheet, son. Are you all right?" he asked.

Tony nodded quickly. "Yes. I'm fine. I think I'm just a little hungry, that's all. Peckish. I'll be fine as soon as I get something to eat." he said.

Faith frowned. " I told you to have something before we left the hotel, didn't I?" she asked .

Tony smirked. "Yes, dear. " he snapped. Suddenly, he was in no mood for any of this. He wanted to sit in a dark room and drink and brood and wallow in memory; listen to Sinatra and look at old pictures and wonder why it always seemed that he could never hold onto what he wanted most for very long. But he'd done enough of that. This was life as he knew it now, and he had to make the best of it.

He smiled. " I really am peckish. Listen to me, snapping at you. " he said and touched Faith's cheek gently. "I'm sorry. How about we go get something to eat, so I don't embarrass both of us by having an attack of the vapors." he suggested ,

Faith smirked. "Fine. " she said and glanced at Senior. " You coming, Dad?" she asked and he held up his hands.

"No, thank you. Linda and I are headed up to Rao's later on." he said.

Tony put his hand over his stomach. "Penne Arrabbiatta, how I miss you." he sighed.

Senior chuckled. "You two are welcome to join us, you know. You know Frank always manages to find a way to make room for more." he said.

"It's nice of you to offer, Dad. But I'm afraid I'll have to decline this time." Faith replied just as Tony was about to accept his offer.

Tony looked at her curiously. " Why? This event only runs until 10. We can meet them up at Raos'." he said.

Faith's mouth twitched. " Warren mentioned that he'd like it if all of us from the DC office went over to the NY office after this breaks up. I couldn't say no, Tony." she said.

Tony nodded. "Right. Of course not." he agreed.

Faith shrugged. "He said we were welcome to bring along our plus ones.." she said and Tony narrowed his eyes.

"I hate that term. I'm not your plus one. I'm your fiance." he said in a low voice.

Senior wasn't sure what to say, or if he should even be listening to this. He should be off with Linda, talking to Ziva. Come to think of it, that's where Tony should be, too. Talking to Ziva.

Faith sighed. " Those were Warren's words. Not mine. And if you don't want to come, you don't have to." she hissed in an angry whisper.

"Did I say I didn't want to come?" Tony hissed back and Senior quietly took two steps backward. "Hold up. One second, Pop. Don't go anywhere." Tony said without turning his head. "If you don't want me to come along, if you think I'll embarass you in front of your coworkers."Tony began..

"When have I EVER said ANYTHING like that?" Faith growled.

"Whoa, whoa." Senior stepped in just as the other people in the room were beginning to stare. He put his arm across Tony's shoulders . "Before either of you say something you'll regret, take a step back and think. " he advised.

Faith stuck out her chin."Fine. I have to get back to Warren, anyway. Let me know what you decide." she snapped at Tony and then took off in a huff.

Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry about that." he told his father when she was gone.

"It's fine, Junior. But you shouldn't be apologizing to me, and you know it." Senior replied .

Tony nodded. "I do. And I'll apologize to her. I will. I just...can't do it right now." he said with a small shake of his head.

Senior clapped his hand on Tony's shoulder. " All right, then. Let's go find you something to eat. I've always found apologizing is much easier with a full stomach." he said. "And maybe, if you decide you want to, you can tell me what's really bothering you." he added.

Tony nodded, but already knew he wouldn't be telling Senior anything. It was over. Dead,buried and mourned. If he was having difficulty dealing with that, it was his problem, no one elses. Besides, talking about it just made it worse. "Come on, son. There has to be some food around here somewhere." Senior said quietly.

"That is remarkable. They got the well dug in 4 hours?" Linda asked. They were in the Sargent room, looking at the paintings and talking, mostly about CGCN.

Ziva smiled and nodded. " Yes. Once they they had the right equipment, it went just that quickly." she said. " And now, the village will no longer have to depend on the rain for fresh water." she said.

Linda grinned. "I can see by the look in your eyes how proud you are to have been a part of that." she said,

Ziva nodded. "I am. I was there that day, and watched them dig the well, and there are no words to describe how it felt to see those people take their lives back into their own hands." she smiled at the memory.

"You describe it so well. Do you go out into the field very often?" she asked.

Ziva paused. "Not very much these days. " she answered. " But someday, perhaps, I would like to go back there again, just to see how they are doing. I have read the reports from our people in the field, though. And the village is thriving, especially the children." she beamed and Linda found herself beaming, too. "I have talked too much." Ziva shook her head. "I would love to hear more about you and your husband. He is one of my favorite people in the world. " she said.

Linda chuckled. "Mine, too." she said.

Ziva smiled again. " So you are happy together?" she asked.

Linda nodded. "Yes. Very. Of course, it wasn't easy. Did you know that his late wife Elizabeth was my best friend in the world?" she asked .

Ziva's smile faded. "No. I did not know that. " she said.

Linda sighed. "Of course not. You couldn't. I'm sorry.. "

"Do not be. It is fine." Ziva said. " So you and he..." she fumbled for how best to delicately phrase her question. "for a long time?" she asked hesitantly and hoped she would be understood.

Linda looked puzzled, and then her eyes widened. " Oh. No. Absolutely not. " she shook her head. "I loved my husband very much, and Anthony...well, he was so in love with Elizabeth. " she mused. " It happened much later. Like 40 years later. " she said.

Ziva smiled. " I should not have asked. " she said .

Linda touched her arm. "Don't be silly. Everyone asks. I don't mind." she smiled. "We were friends, the four of us. Close enough for Elizabeth to make me her son's godfather." she said. Ziva's golden skin turned pale and Linda reached for her hand. "Don't be upset, please. " she said.

Ziva shook her head. "I am not. Honestly. Please, continue." she said.

"And when she died, Anthony sort of drifted away from us.I suppose he found us a painful reminder of what he'd lost." she said. "And I didn't see him again until just after my husband Paul passed away two years ago. He contacted me to offer his condolences, we met for lunch, and it just sort of happened. " she said. "It was like no time at all had passed when I saw him again. " she said and glanced at Ziva, who smiled, but it did not reach her eyes

"And Tony?" Ziva asked quietly. "How did he take it?" she wondered

"Not well at first. " Linda said. "Not well at all. " she added. "He and I were close when Elizabeth was alive. " she continued. " He was the most charming, adorable little boy. All big eyes with those long eyelashes . Elizabeth dressed him in Eton suits, with the little jacket and the short pants and knee socks,and you could not help but fall in love with that little person. He was just that sweet. " she said. Ziva kept silent, and Linda realized she may have pushed things too far. "I'm sorry. I should not be throwing all of this at you. Tony and I have worked things out now, and we're close again. He's very happy for us.." she added.

Ziva nodded. "I am glad. How is he?" she asked suddenly.

Linda had to keep herself from smiling too big. " Tony?" she asked, even though it was very clear who Ziva was talking about. Ziva nodded. "Oh, fine, I guess. You know." she said and waved her hand. " I would really like a closer look at that one on the end. " she said.

Ziva frowned and followed her. "Is something wrong?Is he ill?" Ziva asked as Linda studied the painting.

"Who?" Linda asked.

Ziva narrowed her eyes. "Are you playing games with me, Mrs Di Nozzo?" she asked in a low voice.

Her husband mentioned more than once the fiery warrior that Ziva used to be, and right now, with her eyes flashing angrily, Linda decided that she would never want to be on Ziva's bad side. "No, I'm not. " Linda replied carefully. "And I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. Tony is not ill. He's fine." she said and noted the relief in the younger woman's eyes.

" There is no need for you to apologize." Ziva said. "I should not have asked . It is not my business. " she said

Linda nodded. "Would you like it to be?" she wondered.

Ziva narrowed her eyes suspiciously. " I do not understand." she shook her head.

Linda sighed. "Now it's my turn to apologize. Can we start over?" she asked. She hadn't intended to play games. Ziva was not at all what she expected, based on her husband's description. She'd expected a prickly, fierce, mysterious woman, and while the woman in front of her was still more than a bit mysterious, she was softer than she'd expected. Gentle, but definitely not the type of person to be provoked. And obviously still very interested in Tony Di Nozzo. " To be honest, I'm not sure if it's my place to discuss anything involving Tony with you. I'd love to, but. "

Ziva held up her hands. "You do not have to explain. I understand, and it really is not any of my business." she said. "If we could .."

"Ziva? " a male voice interrupted her and she turned her head as Aaron approached them.

" I am so sorry for leaving you stranded for so long." he said.

Ziva smiled. " No need to be sorry. I have been exploring this lovely place. It is fascinating. " she said.

Aaron smiled ."Good. I see you found the Sargent room. " he added.

"I have. Or rather, we have. Linda Di Nozzo, this is Aaron Simon." Ziva made the introductions.

" A pleasure." Aaron said as they shook hands. "Do you two know each other?" he wondered.

"Not exactly. But we do share quite a few mutual acquaintances, and as it turns out, some common interests as well. " Linda explained. Aaron was tall, dark and very attractive, and obviously interested in Ziva.

"Mrs Di Nozzo works for PIF, Aaron. " Ziva said .

Aaron nodded. "I see. Your organizations do a lot of work together, don't they?" he asked .

Linda smiled. "Yes, and GCCN is a personal favorite of mine. Even more so now, after talking with Ziva. " she said. "And I have monopolized her time enough for one evening. Thank you, Ziva. " Linda said .

Ziva opened her purse and retrieved one of her business cards. "Oh, wonderful ." Linda said after Ziva handed it to her.

"If you have any other questions, or if you or any of your colleagues would like to hear more about us..." Ziva began.

Linda smiled again. " You will definitely be hearing from us. Count on it. " she added .

Ziva smiled. " It was lovely to meet you, Mrs Di Nozzo. Please give your husband my best. " she said.

Linda nodded . "I will, dear. We'll come see you to say goodnight before we leave. Aaron, a pleasure. " she said. "Enjoy your evening." she added and Ziva watched her walk away.

Aaron remarked. " She seems very nice. " he said.

Ziva looked up and nodded. "Yes, she does." she said.

Aaron smiled. " She seemed very impressed with you and your work. That's a good thing, Ziva." he reminded her .

She laughed. "Yes. I guess it is. Thank you for the reminder. " she said.

He grinned. "No problem. You looked a little uncertain about that for a moment there.." he said.

She nodded. " I am not sure if this is the time or the place to tell you this. Or even if I should. But she is...her husband.." she began and bit her lower lip.

"Is he Nina's father?" Aaron wondered and Ziva's eyes widened.

"Her husband?NO." she said immediately and shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I realize it's none of my business. " Aaron said. "It's just that you've never talked about him, and I couldn't help but notice that you seemed a little uncomfortable with Mrs Di Nozzo, and I jumped to a lame conclusion." he said sheepishly. "How about we take a look at these lovely paintings, and then get something to eat? I know you mentioned you're a Sargent fan." he said. Ziva nodded and took his offered arm. " So, any particular favorite?" Aaron asked. "I've always liked the portrait of Madame X, myself." he added and Ziva remembered, in spite of herself.

_"So.." he burrowed his face into the curve between her neck and shoulder, sliding his lips over her silky, still damp skin. Ziva smiled with her eyes closed and clasped his head with one hand, her fingertips tangled up in his hair._

_ " So?" she replied and smoothed her free hand down his bare back. His skin was still damp, too, but cooling down now in the night air. _

_He chuckled, his breath warm against her throat. "We were discussing art, Madame X, before you had your way with me. Again." he said and took a gentle bite of her earlobe._

_ She laughed and massaged his scalp lightly with her fingers. " I do not remember it happening that way. Perhaps you have confused me with another Madame X." she said and he growled softly against her ear and then picked up his head. That dear, handsome face smiled at her and she reached up to hold it with both hands._

_ "Nope. It was definitely you. " he said and leaned in to kiss her mouth tenderly. "Moving outside was a brilliant idea, Madame." he said and lay back down beside her, their heads close together as they gazed up at the stars."Even if I could paint like Sargent or VanGogh, I don't think I could capture that sky." he mused. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. "Or the look on your face right now." he said and leaned in to kiss her again."Doesn't matter, though. It's all up here anyway. I can pull them up anytime I want." he said and tapped his temple with one finger ._

_ He turned onto his back again and the quiet sound of their breathing and the rustling of the leaves on the olive trees were the only sounds for a long time. The stillness was perfect for the moment;Ziva did not want to think, she just wanted to feel, and commit every second of this night to memory. All of it. The surprising softness of his skin, the woodsy,citrusy familiar scent of his cologne, the tenderness and talent in those long, elegant fingers. He dazzled her, made her feel giddy and desirable and nearly cracked her tired, wounded heart in half with his tenderness and passion. She could not remember ever feeling this way before,not even as a tiny girl, the one who believed the stories her mother told her about love and princes and fairy tales. Love had never made the rest of the world disappear. Until now._

"Ziva?" Aaron asked and she looked at him blankly for a moment. " Whoa, you kind of checked our there for a moment. Where did you go?" he wondered.

Ziva smiled quickly. " I am sorry. I believe it is called 'Mommy brain.'" she said ,

Aaron chuckled. "Ah,of course. " he nodded and Ziva felt both relieved and guilty. "How about we come back to the Sargents later? Maybe a little food would help your brain, Mommy." he suggested .

She smiled genuinely ."Yes. I think it would. Thank you." she said .She doubted she would eat anything, her stomach was still flop flipping. But the art discussion was bound to bring up more memories, and she was all done with that. Eventually, she would have to face Tony and tell him about Nina, and when she did, it would be without any foolish sentimentality or childish wishes for things that could never be.

Aaron smiled. "Good. There's a buffet set up in the dining room, and I hear the food is actually quite good." he said.

Ziva nodded and slipped her arm through his. No more memories tonight.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

AN: To the brave guest who took the time and energy to anonymously school me: I'm not sure if you actually read the story or not. If you did, thank you. If you didn't and were just upset or annoyed by the story description, well you can feel better knowing that I'm completely aware that the show NCIS is about more than two characters.I watched it for ten years.

However :THIS story; MY story, is primarily about two of those characters, Tony and Ziva. TIVA. No apologies. If that's not your thing, that's fine. I'll leave your review up though, just in case any one who isn't aware that NCIS is about more than two characters might learn from it.

" We have plenty of time." Senior said. "Stop worrying. Frank will make room for us, no matter what time we get there." he added.

Linda sighed. "It's not that. I'm worried that I may have insulted her, and that I came off as rude. " she sighed again. " I just wasn't sure what to say, or if it was even my place to say it." she added .

Senior put his arm around her shoulders. "Sweetheart, it's okay." he said soothingly. "I'm sure she didn't think anything of the sort. And what's important is that you found out she still cares for Tony. I suspected as much, but we did need to be sure. " he said.

Linda frowned. "Yes. But I still feel guilty about doing it. She's not at all the way you described her." she said.

Senior frowned. " What do you mean? You didn't like her?" he asked.

Linda shook her head. "No. I liked her very much." she said. "It's just that I got the impression of a much softer person than the one you described." she continued. " Oh, I did see a brief flash, just a moment, really, where I understood what you meant when you called her a warrior. But I saw something else there, too. She's vulnerable, and more than a little wounded. Not surprising, I guess, considering what you told me about her life the past couple of years." she said .

Senior sighed. "I think it would have broken a weaker person. The fact that she managed to come out the other side in one piece says a lot." he said.

Linda smiled. " Absolutely.I just hope she didn't think I was completely awful, that's all."

Senior leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I'm sure she didn't. " he said . They were off in a corner of the dining room, watching Tony and Faith interact with her coworkers, and while an unpracticed eye might think they were two happily engaged people mingling and laughing and enjoying themselves, Senior could read his son better than that. The smile on Tony's face was forced, the tension around his eyes and mouth a dead giveaway.

Senior sighed andLinda rubbed his arm. " You said they had an argument. Maybe that's why they look so uncomfortable." she said.

Senior regarded Tony and Faith again. Faith didn't seem particularly unhappy, but he didn't know her well enough to figure out if it was an act or not. Her attention wasn't focused on her fiance, but rather, on that guy with the ascot and the walking boss, Tony said, so that was understandable. Tony wasn't really participating in the conversation, just sort of smiling and nodding. And drinking. If Senior was keeping count correctly, that was his fourth martini of the evening.

"Could be. " Senior said. "Tony's drinking a lot, though. That's not a good sign." he said. " I'm going in. " he added.

Linda nodded. "I think that's a good idea." she said and put her hand on his cheek. "Good luck." she said.

He nodded. "I'll need it. Tony can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes." he said and kissed her cheek before he straightened his tie, smoothed down his hair and made his way around the buffet table to the other side of the room.

Tony drained the last of his martini, neatly avoiding the onion. Technically, the onion made it a Gibson, as the bartender had so conveniently reminded him. Whatever. He was in no mood to deal with anything involving olives tonight. As a result, he passed on his usual double olive martini, not to mention the tapenade on the buffet table. He knew what this was, and experience had taught him that the best thing to do was ride it out. There was no avoiding it, or going around it, it just had to play itself out.

It would be better of course, if he were alone, in the dark with Old Blue Eyes and his single malt, but right now, a couple more non-olive martinis would blur everything around the edges nicely. He was about to excuse himself to head over to the bar when he saw his father approaching. Ah, a chance to kill two birds with one stone. He could excuse himself to talk to his father, without a dirty look from Faith about another trip to the bar.

" I don't mean to interrupt..." Senior began . "But I'd like to have a word with my son, if that's all right." he said.

Faith looked up. "Of course, Dad." she said with a quick smile and nod. She turned her attention immediately back to the jackass in the ascot and Senior looked at Tony, who smiled, but it was hollow and empty, closer to a grimace than an a actual smile..

" I have officially been released, Pop. I'm all yours." Tony said and Faith smirked and rolled her eyes, but quickly resumed her conversation with Warren.

"How about a little fresh air? There's a nice balcony .." Senior suggested.

Tony shrugged and followed his father out to the balcony. The view of Gramercy Park from up here on the second floor was lovely, and the night was clear and brisk.

"Not bad, huh?" Senior asked and Tony shrugged again.

" What's up, Pop?" he asked .

Senior shrugged now. "You looked like you needed a break. How's the food?" he asked.

Tony smirked. "I haven't tried anything yet. " he said .

Senior nodded. "I noticed. Another reason I brought you out here. I thought the fresh air would do you some good." he added .

Tony chuckled. "Let me guess: You think I'm drinking too much." he said.

Senior nodded. "Yup. I do. " he said. "I'm not driving. So it's okay, Pop." Tony said and held up one hand, palm towards the floor. "See? Steady as a rock." he said. "And while I have you out here,now is as good a time as any to ask you:Did you mean what you said earlier? " he asked.

Senior frowned "About?" he asked.

Tony smirked. "About Gibbs.." he prompted and Senior raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Well... actually...Yes. I did." he said. "I apologize if that offends you, son. " he added .

Tony shook his head. "It doesn't. It just surprises me. " he said. "I thought you respected Gibbs. " he said .

Senior nodded. "I do. " he said easily. " I don't know anyone who wouldn't respect the career he's had, or the life he's lead. " he said.

Tony nodded. "But..." he prompted and Senior hesitated.

"Look, son. I don't think it's my place to.. "

"I'm asking you, Dad. " Tony cut in and Senior sighed.

" Okay. I admire Gibbs a lot. I do. Especially everything he's done for you." he added, his voice tinged with sadness. "He's been more like a father to you than I have in a lot of ways. " he continued. "And I own that. I do. The lost years in our relationship are my fault. " he paused. "I know I can't get any of those years back, and I'm glad that you have someone you look up as much as you do Gibbs...It's just.." he sighed and Tony put his hand on his father's shoulder.

" Go ahead, Dad. It's okay." he said quietly.

Senior looked up and Tony nodded, smiling genuinely this time.

"You know that there's nothing I want more than to see you happy, son. " Senior continued. "It's what I've always wanted, even though I may not have always shown it. " he said.

"So far, I'm not hearing what your issue is with Gibbs, Dad." Tony cut in and Senior smirked.

"Okay. I'll admit that I'm more than a little jealous of how much you admire and look up to him. And I know I have very little right to say anything about.."

"Dad." Tony cut in and made a 'get on with it' gesture with one hand.

Senior smirked. "Okay, fine. " he held up both hands. " I think Gibbs takes advantage of your loyalty. " he offered. "And I don't like he way he treats you. Especially that head slap business. That's bullshit, and it should have stopped a long time ago." he said, eyeing his son carefully. "You've sacrificed a lot for Gibbs. " he added and Tony nodded.

"He's done a lot for me. I wasn't going anywhere with the Baltimore PD. " he said and Senior smiled.

"Sure he has." he said. Bringing this up again was a bad idea. "Listen, just forget I.."

" But you're right." Tony interrupted and Senior furrowed his brow.

" Since...well.." Tony exhaled and rubbed his forehead. " I should have addressed the head slapping thing years ago. " he said quietly. " But I didn't want to rock the boat. " he said. " We were all so close, like a family..And I didn't want that to change. " he said. "As it turns out, the joke was on me. Because it changed, anyway. " he said and Senior noted the wistful tone in his voice. He glanced at his father, and his smile was wistful, too. " Oh, there's still the pretense. We all go through the motions,and I think Abby and Ducky are still genuinely happy and upbeat and convinced that everything is cool and the same as always.. But then, they're Ducky and Abby. I don't think they know how to be anything else. " he said.

"And Tim?" Senior asked and Tony smiled.

" Tim is Tim. He plows through. But I know he feels it, too He told me so." he said and Senior nodded.

" Have you mentioned this to Gibbs?" he asked and Tony laughed, but it was bitter, not joyous.

"No. I still have bills to pay. And I've been busy working on a personal life.." he began and studied his father's face. "What?" he wondered and Senior shook his head.

"So Gibbs has nothing to say about that?" he asked and Tony frowned.

"My personal life? No. Why would he?" he asked and Senior shrugged.

"Because he has for years, hasn't he?" he asked.

Tony's eyes darkened, his face flushed from anger and gin. "Gibbs doesn't run my personal life. He never has." he snapped and Senior nodded.

"Right. So the whole thing with EJ. There was no pressure there from Gibbs, correct?" he asked. "And you didn't pursue a relationship with Ziva for almost a decade, until you weren't co workers anymore, so it would be okay with Gibbs. Never mind that one tragedy after another had nearly destroyed her and you by the time it finally happened. Think about how much easier it would have been to deal with any of the things that happened to both of you if you'd gone through them together instead of apart. I guess it was more important to obey some made up rules.. It had to be okay with Gibbs first." Senior said .

"And when I did finally decide to pursue her, it blew up in my face. " Tony said bitterly."So it turns out that Gibbs was right again. Surprise, surprise. " he said. "When I came back , he told me I should move on, and that everyone else already had.. He didn't have to tell me that, no one had to. It's like she never existed. No one even mentions her name now. Like she's dead or scratch that. Cate died, and we actually talk about her, and remember her. But not..." he paused and then waved his hand dismissively. " He was right about Rule 12. And he was probably right about me needing to move on. Gibbs is always right" he looked at his father and Senior's heart ached for the pain he saw in his son's eyes.

"Is he, son? Is that what you really want? To move on and act like she never existed?" he asked and Tony gazed out at the twinkling lights below them.

" You can't always get what you want. I know I've never really been able to pull that off. " he said.

"So, you'll end up like like me. Marrying the wrong women because you think you can't have the one you really want. Is that it?" Senior asked and Tony looked up quickly. "Yes. I said it. " Senior said . "Hate me for it if you have to. But you aren't Gibbs. Ziva isn't dead. " he said.

"She may as well be."Tony said and Senior's eyes flashed.

"Bullshit." Senior growled.. "Don't talk to me about that, kid. I buried the love of my life. You're lucky enough not to have to do that. But apparently, you've decided to act as if she is dead for some reason. Is it because everyone else decided that they're through with her, you decided that, too?" he asked.

"She decided for both of us." Tony snapped back and Senior nodded.

"Right. And you just let her. " he said and Tony narrowed his eyes.

" What was I supposed to do? Keep on chasing her forever? She didn't want me. " he said. "She said that? " Senior asked .

"She didn't have to." Tony snapped angrily and Senior sighed.

"So, you left here there all alone to face her demons, chase ghosts and think about what a terrible, broken shell of a person she'd become. Does that about sum it up?" he asked. "And of course, you went straight back to Gibbs, who probably told you that you did the right thing." Senior said.

Tony didn't answer, but the look on his face told him he'd guessed correctly. "You weren't there. " Tony said. "You don't know what happened. " he shook his head.

" So then tell me what happened, son. " Senior pleaded. " I need to know why you just cut her out of your life the way you did. No follow up. No contact. That's it. It's over. Just like that." Senior said . "You don't care if she's alive or dead, sick or hurt or in trouble. I take it you read the papers, son. Have you noticed what's been going on in Israel these days?" he asked and Tony glared at him.

" I'm sure she's fine. " he said, although in truth, he couldn't be sure of any such thing.

Senior smirked. "Okay, son. Whatever you say. You're over it. Just like that." he said and Tony nodded.

"Just like I am not having this conversation with you. Not here." He turned his back to his father and the older man sighed and shook his head..

"Fine. Let me know when and where you want to have this conversation, son. Because I'd really like to hear why you don't think you deserve to be happy. " he said sadly.

"I never said that. " Tony insisted.

"You didn't have to." Senior replied. "You left things unfinished. How can you ever really be happy if there's even the slightest chance that you could have what you really want?" he asked.

"What makes you think that a life with Faith isn't what I really want?"Tony shrugged.

Senior shook his head. " Don't shovel that crap at me, Anthony. I'm not some doddering old man you need to pacify. Or a boss you're just trying to appease to get through the day.. Like it or not, I'm your father. I love you, and I want you to be happy." he said. "If you won't listen to me, listen to your heart. " he added and put his hand over the left side of Tony's chest. "When you thought she was dead, you didn't think you could go on without her. You told me that yourself." he continued quietly .

Tony averted his gaze and turned his attention back to the view of the city. " Trust me. I know what that feels like. " he continued. "But you got your miracle. You found her. She's alive son. You don't have to go on without her if you don't want matter what anyone else may tell you." he said. Tony didn't respond, he just continued to stare out at the city in silence. Senior moved towards the French doors.

" What happened to 'If you're happy, I'm happy for you?' " Tony's question made Senior pause with his hand on the door handle.

Senior smiled and shrugged. "I was trying to be polite." he said and turned the handle to open the door.

Linda sipped her drink and glanced out towards the balcony. No bloodshed so far, but obviously, they were having a very heated conversation. Meanwhile, Faith was still chatting it up with her boss and a few other people, seemingly unconcerned about the whereabouts of her fiance. And just then, as if on cue, Ziva appeared in the doorway, on the arm of her date.

"Oy vey." Linda muttered quietly and took another sip of her drink. Meanwhile, Ziva entered the room on Aaron's arm, and he steered them towards the buffet table. Just a short distance away from where Faith was chatting with her boss. This could get very interesting, very quickly. Especially if Faith recognized Ziva. Tony never mentioned if he told Faith about Ziva or not. But she had to know, didn't she? Any woman worth her salt would have to be interested in her fiances past relationships.

She watched as Warren noticed Aaron's arrival and waved him over. Linda's gaze turned immediately to Faith, who was staring at Ziva with a blank look on her face. No sign of recognition at all. Ziva paused as they entered the room, catching sight of Linda over in the corner. She nodded her head politely and Linda nodded back. Ziva said something to Aaron, who nodded .

Linda looked puzzled as Ziva approached . " I just wanted to make sure that we did not leave things on a bad letter." she began.

Linda frowned. " A bad letter?" she asked and then smiled. "Oh, you mean a bad note." she chuckled .Anthony mentioned Ziva's occasional struggles with American idioms and slang.

Ziva looked sheepish. "Yes, I am sorry. I doubt I will ever completely understand American English." she said .

Linda patted her hand. "You do beautifully. And about earlier, I'll admit I was worried about the same thing. I hope I didn't upset you or made it seem like I was prying. If it did seem that way, I apologize." she said .

Ziva looked relieved and smiled genuinely. "It didn't. No need to apologize. Can we have the Milligan?" she winced, hoping she'd used the right term.

Linda bit her lip. "You mean Mulligan. Like a do over? Absolutely. " she said and stuck out her hand. "Linda Di Nozzo. Nice to meet you." she said .

Ziva smiled. " Ziva David. Nice to meet you. " she said as they shook hands. "Thank you. " she added and noticed Di Nozzo Senior entering the room . " I see your husband is on his way back so I will not keep you. " she said.

Senior paused and glanced through the now closed French doors. Tony was still out on the balcony, hands on the railing, staring out at the City below. The twitching muscle in his jaw indicating he was also still angry. Good. Anger was better than the dead eyed, pleasantly agreeing to everything ghost he'd become the past few months. Anger meant the real Tony was still in there somewhere.

He glanced across the room at Linda, and grinned when he saw who she was talking to. Now was as good a time as any to get this show on the road. He smiled and walked across the room.

"Ladies, I highly recommend that Balcony. The view from out there is lovely. " he said .

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "The ones with the fancy iron railings?I saw them when we came in." she said and Senior nodded.

"Yes. They're really worth a look. You don't see work like that anymore." he said. "Besides, the fresh air felt wonderful. " he added.

Ziva smiled. "A little fresh air sounds very nice." she said. "If Aaron comes to find me.."

"We'll tell him where you are. No problem" Senior smiled.

"Of course we will. " Linda agreed. "Thank you. Both. Again." Ziva said and Senior winked at her .

"Anytime, sweetheart. " he said and moved to stand beside his wife.

"Tony's still out there?" she asked when Ziva was gone.

Senior nodded. "Yes. And he's not too happy with me right now. But either way, the moment of truth is at hand, darling." he said.

Linda sighed and nodded. "So much for not interfering or pushing them together, I guess.I wonder if we should lock those doors from the inside, just in case." she mused.

Tony sat on the edge of the railing, wishing he'd stopped at the bar for another drink before coming out here. He certainly could use one after that discussion with the old man, who apparently thought he was destined to end up alone n a basement drinking bourbon from dusty baby food jars and building boats that would never see the water. He would not end up like Gibbs. Hell, part of the reason he even started this thing with Faith was his determination NOT to end up like Gibbs. The man himself had warned him about that more than once. So he'd moved on, just like a loyal little Gibbs minion.

But that wasn't right. He wasn't a minion. Gibbs was a mentor, someone he could trust. What had his old man ever done for him, anyway? Where did he get off thinking he knew anything about his life and the way he felt ?And what was that crap about leaving her? She LEFT. Not just him, but everyone. Gibbs and Abby and Ducky and Tim. All of them, and all of them had given her up. Pretty easily, as it turns out. A lot easier than he had. It wasn't like he had a choice when she told him she wasn't coming back to the states with him. He had to give her up. Didn't he? Damn it, he really needed a drink now. He stood up and peered inside the French doors. Faith was still chatting up her boss, and was bound to give him the stinkeye if she saw him at the bar.

Ziva opened the French doors and stepped outside into the brisk night air. After a warm day, it was definitely feeling like Autumn this evening, but the fresh , cool air felt wonderful. This place was lovely, but small, and the rooms felt close, especially when filled with other people. She stepped out to the railing, wondering if she should take a picture of this view and send it to the Aunts.

Adina had always loved New York, her years of traveling for her job had brought her to the city many times, and while Nettie was less familiar with it, she'd already been to the Met and Lincoln Center, and Bergdorf's. More than once. She was less likely to admit it, but Ziva could tell she was more taken with it than she'd expected to. Yes, this would be a good place for Nina to grow up. An exciting place, full of possibility. A place that had no mistakes in it yet. She leaned on the railing and breathed in the cool air, wishing she had thought to get herself another cherry mojito before she came outside.

Tony was about to open the door when he noticed a reflection in the glass. Movement. Someone moving. A woman, probably looking for a little solitude, and likely unaware he was here, thanks to the potted plants between the doors. As he looked again at the reflection in the window glass, his heart did that speeding up thing that always made his breath catch. What was it with this city and long haired brunettes? He leaned in a little closer to the glass for a better look, and then realized with a smirk that he could actually just turn his head and look . Maybe he didn't need another drink, after all. He turned towards the plants and moved behind the fern that was taller than he was. He peered around it, and caught a nice view of her legs, which were lovely, especially the little dimples behind her knees. Coincidence. Lots of women had dimples behind their knees. Tons, probably. And there were likely thousands of women in this city with that same golden skin tone.

She shifted her hips and leaned foward a bit, her long silky curtain of hair draped over one shoulder, and his heart raced even faster. The ass was epic. Spectacular in that bronzy gold slip of a dress, but that wasn't what made him short of breath. The dress dipped dangerously low in back, exposing the smooth, golden curves there, nearly all the way down to that epic ass. And just above that ass, the thing that made him short of breath: two dimples, one on each side of her spine. He'd never met another woman with a back like that; he'd dreamt about that back more times than he cared to admit to anyone. No, that back couldn't be a coincidence, unless that talk with his old man had him hallucinating. He leaned in a little closer and hoped she would turn her head. It couldn't be her.

Ziva took another deep breath of the crisp night air and rubbed her hands over her arms. She should go inside, it was rude to leave Aaron this way, and she should be making the rounds with the clients. But it was so lovely here, so nice with just the sounds of the City and the faint sound of music coming from somewhere inside the club. A gust of wind blew her hair into her face and she turned and smoothed it away and over her shoulder with one hand.

At the same time, she heard something behind her. A noise, like leaves rustling . She turned her head around, but saw nothing, and decided it was likely the same gust of wind that had ruffled her hair ruffling the leaves of the plants behind her. She turned back to the railing, and saw something out of the corner of eye, or rather, someone, standing at the far end of the balcony, leaning against the railing, and her heart began to race. The lighting was not the best, and she could only see a partial profile, but she would know even the smallest part of that face anywhere, even in total darkness.

"Tony?"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

AN: To the guest reviewer who mentioned irony; I'll give you this definition of irony as my response:

_A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result_.

Thanks for reading.

Tony heard the all too familiar soft voice echo his name, and closed his eyes. It was her. Of course it was her. If this was a movie,the setting would be perfect for the denouement, complete with a sweeping soundtrack where the two misbegotten lovers finally reunite. He'd figured out just about the time his mother died that his life was definitely not a movie. Especially not the kind with happy endings.

He didn't respond to her question, simply because he wasn't sure what to say, and he saw her turn towards him out of the corner of one eye. He felt paralyzed, exhilarated and ready to plunge to the sidewalk below all at the same time. Yes, the lighting was dim, but he didn't need light to see her face. He could see it now, even with his eyes closed;he had every feature memorized down to the last eyelash. He'd determined long ago that trying to erase that image from his psyche was futile;the imprint was permanent, and he was just as likely to forget his own name.

So while everyone around him developed Ziva amnesia, he did his best to do the same, and after Faith came along, sometimes it actually worked. He'd go for long periods of time, sometimes hours without thinking about her. But he never, ever forgot that face. He doubted he ever would.

Ziva moved down the railing, closer to the the shadowy figure standing at the far end. He had not answered, but she did not need to hear his voice to know the identity of the man standing a few feet away. That lovely, noble nose that still curved just right, and remained perfect and elegant in spite of being broken several times, She could see his mouth with the sweet soft lower lip even in the dark, feel it in her sleep and taste it in her dreams.

She saw his eyes every single day in her own childs face, heard his laugh in hers,and saw his bewitching, heartbreaking smile there,too. Her heart was beating so rapidly her ears buzzed with the sound of blood rushing through her veins, and she paused, afraid if she got any closer he might disappear, like a mirage.

But they were far from the shimmering heat of the desert, in more ways than just the obvious ones, and he was close, and real and while her first, immediate impulse had been to run, her feet had a mind of their own, and remained rooted to the spot. She stared at him in silence for what felt like a long time, but probably wasn't, and finally worked up the courage to say his name again.

"Tony."

Not a question this time, but a statement, in a soft, definitive voice just above a whisper.

While standing against the railing, he'd been running movie lines in his head, searching for the perfect bon mot. This moment called for something ironic and witty, with the cynicism of Bogart and the elegance of William Powell, but his heart just keep speeding along, racing so fast his mind couldn't seem to keep up, and the only thing he kept hearing inside his head was the most obvious choice. Of all the gin joints...

She probably wouldn't get it, even though they'd watched Casablanca together and she'd twisted his nipple hard enough to make him wince when he teased her about crying at the end. He doubted she remembered any of that, though. And when push came to shove, did it really matter what she remembered and what she chose to forget?

He had a new life now, and a fiancee. He was about to become part of a family. The time of his life that involved Ziva was over, and after this weird, freaky chance meeting, he'd never have to see her again. He supposed he could afford to be gracious, even if he didn't feel anything close to that. Being authentic never seemed to work for him when it came to Ziva. .Besides, what difference did any of that make now?

"Ziva." He finally answered in a tone that was intended as ambivalent, but ended up sounding clipped and testy. Pissed off.

Ziva closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but she was certain it wasn't that sound. And the thing was, it was not as if she did not deserve it. She did. It just hurt to hear it live and in person.

She wanted to ask him a million things, and tell him a million more, but she was not sure where to begin, or even if she had the right to try. Perhaps it would be best not to say anything else, and leave any further contact to email. The coward's way out. Had he not told her that, all those months ago? Staying in Israel was taking the coward's way out. She decided that cowardly or not, she could not bear to hear that tone of voice from him again, even if she did deserve it.

The wind picked up and she turned towards the French doors, her hair tossing around in the breeze. She pushed it off her face, and found him standing closer now, he'd moved down the railing, nearer to where she was.

"Leaving so soon?" he snapped. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised." he mused .

She could see him more clearly now, standing in a pool of light coming from inside the building and her heart rate picked up speed again. He looked...wonderful. Did she assume he would look terrible? Or had she just hoped he might because she was no longer a part of his life? He looked marvelous, nearly as young as he did the day she met him all those years ago. Fit and trim and impeccably dressed and groomed;as handsome as ever. A beautiful man, as Adina might say. A beautiful angry man, if his eyes were still any indication.

She deserved the anger and knew it, but it did not make it any easier to see. Or to hear.

"I do not want to invoke your privacy. " she said and heard him snort derisively in response.

"Invade. " he snapped and shook his head and Ziva felt her cheeks burn, even in the cool night air. She was used to the correction, after so many years together, it had become a part of their routine, a part of them. But his bitter, angry tone made the familiar thing unfamiliar, and Ziva turned back towards the doors.

"Wait." he said before he could stop himself.

He was slightly dizzy, probably from a lack of food, too much to drink, and Ziva, who still had the ability to knock his world off its axis, just by existing. She paused and turned around, her hair blowing in the breeze, and she was so beautiful, it made his throat ache. She might have had the decency to grow fat, or to some how magically turn ugly, as if that would make all this mess easier to take. It wouldn't, but nobody ever accused him of thinking rationally when it came to Ziva. The point was moot, anyway, because there she was, as effortlessly gorgeous as ever.

She moved a couple of steps closer ,and then appeared to rethink that decision, and stayed where she was, shimmering like a mythic goddess in the reflected light, and his throat ached a little more. He leaned back against the railing and folded his arms.

" Long time no see. " he said casually enough, in spite of his swirling emotions.

"Tony.." Ziva began.

"I'd love to catch up, I really would. " Tony cut her off. "But, things being what they are, it somehow seems...well, pointless, you know?" he was full on rambling now. " Given how things ." he managed to stop himself before he said something he was certain he'd regret.

Ziva remained silent, watching and listening,which wasn't unusual. She always did have that stealthy thing down pat, and he'd always envied her ability to remain silent and calm even during the hairiest situations. The tears in her eyes surprised him, but perhaps they shouldn't. She had tears in her eyes the last time, too

"Yes, well. You are probably right." she agreed, her voice trembling. "I thought perhaps.."

"You thought what?" he interrupted her angrily. "That I'd welcome you back with open arms? Or maybe grovel or beg you ? " he hissed through gritted teeth, furious at her and himself for letting her get to him this way. Again.

"I did not say " she began again..

"No, you didn't. You never say much of anything, do you.?" he asked. "I was the one with the big mouth. Big mouth, big dreams..Big plans Talk, talk. talk. But You... You never said much of anything, except when it counted. And then..well..." he continued and felt a pang of regret when he saw her flinch. " There's no way you could know this of course, but that's not me anymore." he said carefully and watched her flick a tear off her cheek with her index finger.

" I don't want to hurt you" he said, even though that was only partly true. He did want to hurt her, he wanted to stick her with words that would make her bleed the way she had made him bleed. But the partner in him, the man that watched her back for so long simply could not do it. "I just don't have anything to say to you any more." he finished and she nodded and sniffed and wiped her cheeks.

The old Ziva, the one she used to be, would have kicked his ass for talking to her that way. But the new Ziva, the person she was trying so hard to become, that Ziva knew he had every right to talk to her that way. She made a choice, a terrible one, and she could not hide from the fallout forever. She turned on her heel and walked quickly to the French doors, taking a deep breath to regain her composure before she opened them and stepped inside.

Tony stared at those doors for a long few minutes. The bad patch he'd been hoping to get through just got much, much worse. Glenlivet and Sinatra couldn't hurt, but they probably wouldn't help much, either. What the hell was she doing here? What happened to the soul searching, I need to find myself and I can't do it with you bullshit she'd fed him back in Tel Aviv? He shouldn't have to go through this, damn it. Not after she'd fucking ripped his heart out. She didn't get to just come back with no warning or.

"Tony?"

He looked up and saw Faith staring at him as if his he'd sprouted a third eye.

"Tony. " she repeated in a voice that made it clear she wasn't happy with him. At all. Couldn't say he blamed her for that one.

"Hi Honey." he said, just a little too brightly.

She smirked. " Don't give me that." she said. "You look terrible, by the way. What on earth is wrong with you? Standing out here with no coat, you'll probably catch pneumonia." she added .

He laughed. "I've had pneumonia. 4 times. That isn't how you catch it." he said .

Faith frowned. "You've had pneumonia 4 times?" she wondered and his smile faded. Hadn't he mentioned his whole bout with the Pneumonic plague ? He could have sworn they'd talked about it.

"It's a long story." he said. "The point is I'll be fine. I am fine." he insisted, in spite of the fact that he wasn't fine at all. He took her arm and turned on the DiNozzo automatic pilot.

" Are you sure?" Faith asked .

" Point me in the general direction of the food, and I'll be better than fine" he assured her.

She narrowed her eyes. "You haven't eaten yet? What the hell have you been doing out here all this time?" she demanded.

He patted her hand. "Later, honey. Food first." he said. For fucks sake, did every fucking thing have to involve a cross examination? He took a deep breath and forced a smile. He knew it wasn't her fault,but she was here, and a convenient target for his anger, and that wasn't fair.

She was studying him with a puzzled look on her face, and apparently she took him at his word, because she shrugged and linked her hand through his arm. " The shrimp are excellent. " she suggested. " And while you eat, I'll tell you all the office gossip." she said .

Tony forced another grin. "Terrific." he said.

Ziva examined her reflection in the mirror and reached for another tissue. She would not cry anymore tonight. At least not Father and Mossad had taught her many things, including how not to cry. She wiped away all traces of tears and mascara, did as good a repair job as she could on her makeup, and put on a little more lipstick. She'd caught Aaron's attention from across the room after she came back inside, told him where she was headed, and thankfully, he did not seem to notice her tears. She could always chalk them up to the cold, if all else failed.

She got to her feet and adjusted her dress just as the door opened. Linda Di Nozzo stepped inside and Ziva was not sure if she should say something or just leave. She was fairly certain that she and her husband knew that Tony was out on the balcony when they encouraged her to go out there, but why they did that was still a mystery. Perhaps they just wanted to give Tony a chance to express his anger at her, and that was understandable.

"Ziva. Wait. Please." Linda said and put her hand on her arm. " We saw you come in from the balcony. " she explained and Ziva avoided her gaze and looked at her own feet, determined not to start crying again.

" So you knew that Tony was here all along." she said quietly.

Linda sighed. "Yes. We did. " she admitted. and Ziva felt her throat ache with unshed tears.

"Please, wait a minute. Please." Linda asked when Ziva tried to walk around her to the door.

"Please. I have left Aaron out there and.." Ziva said and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I just wanted to apologize." Linda said carefully. " On behalf of myself and my husband. We had no right to do that to you." she added.

Ziva looked up. "Why did you?" she wondered. " If you wanted Tony to have his chance to tell me what he thinks of me.." she began.

"We thought the two of you deserved a chance to talk to each other. " Linda said carefully. " And this seemed to be the best chance we'd ever have to make that happen." she added.

Ziva nodded. "I see. " she said .

" I take it things didn't go well." Linda said and Ziva kept silent. "And you'd probably like me to shut up and leave you alone right about now." she added and Ziva looked up again.

Linda smiled. " I will. I promise. I just wanted to make sure that you were all right. You looked terribly upset out there." she added.

Ziva looked up. " I appreciate your concern, but I really do not want to discuss this with anyone. I hope you are not offended." she said

Linda looked relived."Of course not. And please don't worry about this effecting our relationship with GCCN. It won't .Absolutely not." she said.

Ziva actually smiled briefly, in spite of the sadness in her eyes. " Thank you. That is very kind of you." she said and Linda decided she hadn't seen anyone who looked quite so alone in a long, long time. She put her hand on Ziva's cheek.

" If you ever decide you'd like to talk about it.." she began and then stopped. "Well, you have my number. And I will be in touch about GCCN. That's a promise." she said.

Ziva nodded. "Thank you again." she said and Linda stepped aside to let her pass and sighed when Ziva was gone.

What a mess..


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Ziva took a deep breath, plastered on a smile, and made her way across the room to Aaron, who was making his way around the buffet table, plate in hand. He looked up as she approached, and she was relieved to see him smile.

"Everything okay?" he asked hesitantly and she nodded and moved around the table to stand beside him.

" Yes. Thank you for being so patient with me. I did not mean to disappear on you." she said. " It is just..." she stopped speaking when she saw Tony across the room, standing arm in arm with a tall slender woman with long dark hair.

"You know her?" Aaron asked when he saw where Ziva was looking. "The woman in the silver dress... Do you know her?" Aaron explained when Ziva looked at him blankly.

"Oh. No. I do not. " she said quickly. " Do you?" she asked .

Aaron shrugged. "I guess you could say that.. She works in our DC office. I just met her this evening. She seems nice enough. " he said and watched Ziva as she studied Faith. "Is there a reason you're looking at her that way?" Aaron wondered and Ziva looked up quickly. "Or is the man she's with the one you're looking at?" he added and watched Ziva's face turn pink. "Ah, so it is. " he nodded. " Okay. I can take it. If you want to go over there I'll make the introductions..." he said and set down the plate.

Ziva sighed. " You asked before about Nina's father.." she began and Aaron nodded and when Ziva remained silent, his eyes widened.

" Him?" he asked and she nodded.

"You know that I used to work for NCIS..." she said and Aaron nodded. " He was my partner for 8 years." she added.

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "On and off the job, I guess. Does he know about Nina?" he asked and Ziva shook her head and Aaron winced. "Oh. That's rough. Did it end badly?" he asked.

Ziva nodded. "You could say that, yes. " she said. "It is a long, complicated story.." she said.

Aaron smiled. " I'd love to hear it, if you'd like to tell me." he said. "And if you don't want to tell me, that's fine, too." he picked up his plate again. "But either way, I think we should take ourselves to another room to mingle." he suggested.

Ziva smiled. "Yes. I think so, too. Thank you." she said.

Aaron smiled. "Don't mention it. " he said and held out his arm. She linked hers through it and they headed for the door.

Tony was doing his best not to look across the room,or anywhere in the direction of his father, his stepmother, and/or Ziva. He was so angry right now that the only way to guarantee he wouldn't say or do something stupid was to avoid all of them completely. He was positive his father had set up the whole reunion on the balcony scene.

The guilty look on his face , along with the way both he and Linda were keeping their distance pretty much confirmed his theory. Thankfully, Faith was so busy chatting up clients she didn't seem to notice anything was wrong, and now seemed as good a time as any to finally try and choke down some food. He excused himself and made his way over to the buffet table, just in time to see Ziva and some guy leaving the room, arm in arm. So she was here with someone. Of course she was.

The stab of jealousy in his chest made him sick and disgusted with himself. After all this time, and all the ways she'd made it clear that he was never, ever going to be the one, he still had trouble seeing the proof of that up close and in person. What little appetite he had disappeared, but he picked up a plate, and went through the motions, walking around the buffet table, pretending to study the food, but really doing nothing but churn the last few minutes around in his mind. The question about what she was doing here was answered. She was obviously someone's date. But that didn't explain what she doing HERE, as in back in the states.

It should be fairly easy to figure out, and Tim would probably help him out if he needed it, but why should he go there, again? What good had following her and trying to play her hero ever gotten him? He knew the answer to that, too, but thinking about it just made his chest ache even more. It saved her life, and his, if he was being honest. More than once.

How many times had they saved each other, only to go back to playing the game and pretending they were nothing more than coworkers and friends. Too many times to count, and he was as much to blame for that as she was. He sighed and shook his head. Thinking about all of this again was pointless. What he needed to do was go back to DC and his new life and just forget today ever happened. He eyed the shrimp warily and thought about bailing on the whole food idea and just heading back to the bar when his father's voice interrupted his decision making.

"Son?" Tony turned his head, and he had to give the old man credit, he still had a terrific poker face.

Linda was another story, though. "Tony, before you say anything.." she began

"No. " Tony cut her off. " No offense, Linda, but I don't want to hear from you. I want to hear from him." he said.

Senior's face remained impassive. " I'm here, son." he said calmly and that only served to make Tony angrier.

"You knew she was here all along." he snapped. It was a statement, not a question .

Senior nodded. "Yes. I did. Actually,if you'd like to know the truth, I knew yesterday that she was going to be here." he said.

Tony's face turned red. "And you didn't think to tell me that?" he hissed .

Senior shrugged. " No, I didn't see any reason to tell you. " he said. " I just assumed that the two of you are finished. You don't speak about her, and whenever I've asked about her... "

"That's not the point." Tony cut him off.

" All right then, son. What is the point? Because I didn't think what Ziva did or where she was mattered to you anymore. You've moved on." Senior said this in a matter of fact, ordinary conversation level tone, but Tony still glanced across the room to see if Faith could have heard him. Apparently, she didn't because she was still mixing and mingling.

" Tony.." Linda saw where he was looking. "You have told Faith about Ziva, haven't you?" she asked .

Tony sniffed and adjusted his tie. " I didn't see the 's over." he said.

Senior nodded. "Right. So this anger with me for not telling you Ziva would be 's that about?" he wondered

"You could have warned me. That little scene on the balcony...what did you think that would accomplish?" Tony wondered.

" I thought the two of you deserved a chance to talk to each other. Apparently, I was wrong. And for that, I apologize. " Senior said. "Linda and I are leaving now, so we're here to say goodnight." he continued. "Or goodbye, if that's what you want." he added.

"Anthony." Linda said and shook her head.

Tony ran one hand over his face. "I'm angry and I've had a little too much to drink. I'm sorry if I took your head off. I just ...I wasn't expecting any of this tonight." he said.

"Of course you weren't. "Linda said. " But the silver lining is that it's unlikely you'll ever see her again after tonight. So can we just call this a mistake and let it go?" she asked.

Senior stifled a smile. His wife could be a sneaky little thing when she put her mind to it. That bit about it being unlikely Tony would ever see her again got to Tony. He wouldn't admit it, of course, but that look in his eyes...No, he doubted this was the end of anything. With a little bit of luck, it could be the just the beginning.

"Sure. Sure we can." Tony said, his head and throat aching now. " I just need to be mad about this tonight. Okay?" he asked.

Senior smiled. " Of course. But if you don't call me, I'm going to call you. Just a heads up." he said.

Tony smirked. "Thanks for that, Pop." his anger was fading now that the shock of seeing her had somewhat dissipated. Now he was curious, his mind swirling with a million questions, which did nothing for his aching head. The only anger he had left was at himself, for letting her get to him that way, and for acting like a childish, petty ass.

Senior put his hand on Tony's cheek. " Have I mentioned how proud you make me, son?" he asked. "Because you do. " he continued. "If I haven't mentioned it,I should. I am very, very proud of you. " he said and embraced him.

Tony exhaled and embraced his father. None of this mess was his fault, and even if his attention was a little misguided, it was attention born from genuine affection and concern. He'd waited most of his life for both of those things, and he couldn't be mad at him for 'd never told anyone the whole story of what really happened in Israel, his father included, so he couldn't blame him for thinking he was being helpful trying to play matchmaker.

"I'll call you. Promise." Tony said after they drew back from each other.

Linda reached in to kiss him on the cheek. "Tell Faith we said goodnight, didn't want to interrupt her.." she said .

Tony nodded. "I will. " he said and watched as they left the room. Faith was likely still hip deep in networking, and he probably should be at her side playing the dutiful fiance. But he just wasn't up to smiling and shooting the shit with strangers at the moment. He glanced across the room at Faith, who was gesticulating wildly to a small group of rapt listeners.

He slipped out the door into the hallway without her noticing and decided that now was as good a time as any to finish his tour of this place.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Wow. That's some story." Aaron mused and leaned his chin on his hand. They'd found a relatively quiet spot in the library, and Ziva had just given him a brief history of how Nina came to be. " So, you haven't heard from him since then?" he asked .

Ziva shook her head. "No.I asked him not to contact me, and Tony...well.." she smiled sadly and waved her hand.

"Tony does as you ask?" he finished for her.

"Yes."

Aaron nodded. "And somehow you expected him not to this time..or hoped he wouldn't..is that right?" he asked.

Ziva gave him a pointed look. "You are much too smart for your own good. " she said .

Aaron smiled. " It wasn't too hard to figure out. " he said. "He'd always come after you before, you said he saved your life more than once.." he continued. " Can I ask you something?" he said suddenly and Ziva nodded . " You obviously loved him very much. " Aaron said. " And probably still do..So why on earth did you tell him to forget you?" he said .

Ziva frowned. "It is going to sound crazy, and as if I am trying to be a martyr. I am not. That is not why I did it. " she began. " I have been in the service of someone or something for most of my life. " she continued. " And each day, each week, each year took a piece of me. " she paused, searching for the right words. " Until there was nothing left of me when I looked in the mirror. Just a shadow, this...lump of sadness and pain.. It is not what I expected to ever see. I had always been the strong one, the warrior ." the smile on her face was wistful and held no joy. " And I realized that this..the way I was feeling..I had caused other people to feel that way countless times, because of what I had done for most of my life, in the name of service to someone or something. " she said .

Aaron shook his head. " But how many lives did you save? Doesn't that count for something?" he asked.

" Yes. But not enough to make me feel whole again. " she said . "The only way I could save what was left of myself was to walk away completely. "

Aaron nodded. "That's understandable. You'd been through a lot. " he said. "But you said Tony didn't care about that. He was okay with you walking away from the job. As long as you came back to the states with him." he said .

"That would not have worked. I had to make the break clean, and complete, if I wanted to have any chance of becoming whole again. It was selfish, I knew it then, and I know it now. " Ziva's voice was trembling now and Aaron put his hand over hers. " I could not let anyone help me. Especially Tony. " she said. "He deserved much more than I could give him. Someone whole, who could give him the life he had saved me too many times, already. I could not ask him to go through it again." she sniffed. " I was too broken to give him the life he wanted, and I did not know if I would ever be able to .So I asked him to let me go. " she finished .

Aaron smirked. " If you asked him in those words, and he did it, he's an ass." he said .

Ziva's face darkened, her eyes nearly black with anger. " You have no right to say that about him." she said and snatched her hand free.

Aaron chuckled. "So, you didn't ask him in those words? I thought so. Whatever you told him must have been a doozy to make him give up on you." he said and Ziva narrowed her eyes. "Oh come on ,Ziva. You've told me this much. " he said.

" I asked him to let me go, he said he could not, and that he would not. Not ever. " she said in a small, tight voice that was the only one she had at the moment. Anything else would cause another flood of rears. " So I told him that I did not think it would ever work out between us because I was not sure I could love him as anything more than a friend and partner." she said.

Aaron winced. "Ouch. You friend zoned him. That's the worst. The absolute worst. The poor guy must have been crushed. " he said .

"If you are trying to make me feel worse than I already do, it is working." Ziva said.

Aaron patted her hand. "I'm not. Honestly. But I can't help feeling bad for the guy. Although not that bad, considering you clearly didn't mean any of it, and only did it to keep him away. Not to mention that it's obvious to anyone with two eyes that you're still crazy in love with him. Lucky bastard." he said and watched Ziva's cheeks turn pink.

"I can think of many things to call Tony and myself, separately and together. Lucky would not be one of them." Ziva said quietly "I did not expect to ever see him again. " she said. "In spite of my foolish hope that he would somehow come after me,even after I told him not to, and broke his heart for the thousandth time. "

Aaron put his hand over hers and she continued. "What I did not count on was Nina. " she smiled. " I made a choice, and I have to live with the consequences. But that does not mean that Nina should suffer for it.I do not want her to grow up without knowing her father. And Tony should know that he has a child. He will be a wonderful father I am certain of that." she said..

"I'm sorry you're in such a pickle." he said genuinely.

Ziva smiled. " You are a very good listener." she said.

Aaron laughed. "Talk about friend zoning." he winked at her and she smiled a little bigger. "May I ask you something?" he wondered and Ziva nodded. "Are you going to tell him about Nina?" he asked .

"Yes. I am. After tonight, I am not sure how I will do it, though. I have put it off for too long already." she said.

Aaron smiled. " I think that's a wise choice, friend. " he said. "Not just for him, but for Nina's sake, too. " he paused. " One more question, and you don't have to answer it if you feel I'm being too pushy. I'm a laywer, it comes with the job." he prefaced with a smile. " The woman he was with...If he's involved with her.. Are you still going to tell him about Nina?" he asked and Ziva looked taken aback. She had not considered that possibiity, and she should have. Tony loved women, and women loved him back. It was silly of her not to consider that he might very well be seriously involved with someone. Someone too tall for him, and a little too thin in her opinion, but that didn't matter, either. What did matter was Nina. And if he did know about her, was it possible that he and the too tall skinny one might want a chance to raise his child together? Of course it was. Her throat felt as if it might close up and she inhaled sharply .

"Whoa, whoa.I'm sorry. " Aaron said quickly when he saw the look of sheer terror on her face. "I didn't bring it up to frighten you, honestly. " he added and she nodded and took a sip of the club soda and lime still sitting untouched in front of her. "Again, I'm a lawyer. I can't help the way I think. " he said.

" I understand, and there is no need to apologize. I should have thought about this before. I should have thought about many things before. " Ziva said. " I cannot continue to keep Nina from him. It is not it is not as if I have to worry about him hating me..I think it is quite clear that he already does. But suppose I tell him and he decides that he and his new...person." she said the word angrily and Aaron bit back a smile. " Suppose they decide they would like to take Nina from me?" she asked and pushed back the chair to get to her feet. Aaron sighed and followed after her as she walked across the room to the window.

Tony managed to name all the actors whose portraits hung along the wall next to the stairs without cheating and checking the little plate at the bottom;except for that one didn't really count because he'd actually heard of John Drew, but had never seen his picture. He found himself at the top of the stairs and made his way through the little cliques of people standing here and there along the hallway, He paused before a group of tintypes and photographs hung next to a open door, intent on reading their captions, but something inside the room, beyond the open door to the left, caught his attention.

A flash of something shiny and metallic, probably something reflected in a mirror, but there was no harm in looking, just in case,Strange things were happening everywhere these days, and you could never be too leaned over for a look, and immediately regretted it. The metallic flash turned out to be beads or pearls or whatever it was that made that bronzy slip of a dress shine the way it did. On her sleeve as her hand touched the elbow of the man he'd seen her with earlier. They were deep in conversation, apparently, and whatever it was they were talking about did not seem to make her happy.

The man, who really should look into a different tailor because that suit didn't fit him properly, was doing what he could to comfort her, one hand on her cheek. Tony realized he shouldn't care who the man was, or what they were talking about, or even why she looked so upset. For all he knew, she might very well be complaining about him to her new friend. Oh wait, scratch that. He doubted bad suit guy was just a friend. That title was only reserved for Di Nozzo, the just a friend idiot of the century. He shouldn't care, and for months he'd told himself that he didn't, that all that was over, in the past, and he would never, ever let it get to him again. So much for that.

"There's no guarantee he'll do anything like that. "Aaron said quietly and placed his hand on her cheek. "And if he does, you'll fight it. I'm personally appointing myself as your attorney." he said .

Ziva looked up at him and forced a smile. "You are a mensch, Aaron" she said .

He laughed. "I've been called worse things." he said and watched her smile fade as her gaze turned towards the door. "What?" he asked and turned his head. Tony Di Nozzo was standing in the doorway, watching decided to take a chance and plastered on a smile. "You're Tony, am I right?" he said and felt Ziva's grip on his arm tighten to the point where it felt like he was wearing a blood pressure cuff.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

Aaron ignored her and walked over to where Tony stood and he rubbed his arm briefly after Ziva was forced to make a decision to either let it go, or walk across the room with chose the former

"That would be correct. " Tony said flatly. "Di Nozzo" he said and glanced at Aaron's extended hand for a moment, deliberately not looking behind him at Ziva as he shook the proffered hand. "Did we meet tonight? Faith introduced me to a lot of people..." Tony said.

Aaron smiled and held up his other hand. "I don't think so. Not formally, anyway. I did meet Faith, though. I work in the NY offices of HDW. Aaron Simon."he explained

Tony nodded. "A pleasure. So how did you know my name?" he wondered.

Aaron smiled. "Oh, Ziva told me." he said. " That's a funny coincidence, huh? The two of you here tonight..." he said .

Tony paused. " I'm not sure I would call it funny. But yes, it's quite a coincidence. " He would not look at her. He wouldn't. But since bad suit boy started this, he saw no harm in asking a few questions. "So...you two..." Tony began in spite of himself.

Aaron smiled. "We're friends." he replied and Tony chuckled, but there was nothing funny or lighthearted about it.

"Well, it's nice to know the classics never go out of style." he said.

Aaron furrowed his brow. "I'm sorry?" he asked, even though he had a good idea of what Tony meant by that So did Ziva.

"Nothing. Private joke." Tony said with a wave of his stole a glance at Ziva, who was the watching the two of them intently, until his eyes met hers, and she instantly became fascinated with the concept of staring at her own feet.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Adam." Tony said, loud enough for Ziva to hear and realize that the mistaken name wasn't an was deliberate, intended to sting, and it did.

"Aaron." the younger man corrected him.

Tony smiled falsely. "Right. Sorry. Aaron. Good luck with everything." he said.

" Thanks. You, too. " Aaron said. " Maybe we'll see you again sometime. " he said .

Tony shrugged. "It's possible. I go to most of Faith's office functions with her." he paused and wondered why he was hesitating. He had nothing to lose here. Nothing at all. He glanced past Aaron's shoulder at Ziva, whose eyes were still focused on her shoes. " It's part of the job description once you get engaged. " he said . "You might want to file that away for future reference. " he winked, but his eyes were dead, flat.

Aaron nodded. "Sure. Thanks. And Congratulations." he said.

Tony smiled. "Thanks. " he said. " I should go. I've left her alone long enough, I think." he added. No reaction at all from the Israeli peanut gallery. There's a shocker.

" Sure. Nice meeting you." Aaron said. '

"Same here. " Tony said. Poor kid. He had no idea what he was in for. Or maybe he did. Maybe she'd found someone she could love in a non partner, non friendship only kind of way, someone else to watch her back and play the hero. He supposed he should be happy about that, happy for her if perhaps she had found some peace, but he wasn't quite there yet. Maybe in another decade or so. He nodded at Aaron and left the room.

Aaron turned around immediately, just in time to see a tear fall silently from Ziva's cheek and land with a soft plop on the floor.

"Why did you do that?" Ziva asked without picking up her head.

Aaron walked over and put his hand under her chin. "Because you needed to know what you might be up against. " he said and Ziva looked up and wiped her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

" I mean, we need to make sure that all your ducks are in a row when it comes to Nina. " he explained. " My guess is that Tony still loves you, but he's hurt and really angry. And that could mean just about anything. " he said.

Ziva's eyes widened. " So you do not think I should tell him?" she asked.

"Oh, I think you should tell him. As soon as possible. " Aaron said. "We just have to figure out how to do that, that's all." he said.

Ziva's mind was reeling, spinning, whirling. Engaged. He was engaged to the too skinny one. This was not an assignment, like Jeanne Benoit. Or a flung, like EJ. This was serious, grown up business, and she chided herself for being surprised and annoyed and heartbroken. She had no right to be any of those things. She had been selfish and foolish when it came to Tony, and that was a mistake she would regret for the rest of her life. But she was not about to let anyone take her child away from her. Not while she had breath in her body.

"I will not lose my child, Aaron. " she said.

Aaron smiled at the look in her eyes. "That's what I like to hear." he said . " While you get your wrap, I'll go out and hail us a cab..." he began.

Ziva frowned. " Is this over already?" she asked .

Aaron paused. "No, but I assumed that you would want to leave.." he said .

Ziva shook her head. "No, I would like to stay, if that is all right. I have not had the chance to speak to very many people yet, and I have not had any food or.."

"Okay." Aaron grinned and held up his hand. "We'll stay. But you'll tell me if you change your mind?" he asked and she nodded.

She was not one hundred percent sure that staying here awhile longer was a good idea. But she was tired of playing the scared little bunny, hiding and running deserved a mother who would put her first and be brave enough not to run when things got tough. She slipped her hand through Aaron's arm.

"Food first?" he asked and she nodded again.

And if by some chance, she happened to catch a better look at Skinny Minnie the beanstick, well, that would be all right, too.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"I should put one of those microchips under your skin." Faith said when Tony arrived back downstairs. He'd made a quick stop at the bar, but only for a tonic water and lime. The buzz he'd been working on earlier was gone, replaced by a throbbing ache in his head, and even the ungodly amount of sugar he'd just consumed in three cannolis and one miniature sfogliatelle didn't help. He realized that his fiance had just compared him to the family pet, but he had neither the energy or desire to argue with her about the insult. Intentional or not.

"And why is that,love muffin?" he asked calmly and sipped his non alcoholic drink, wishing it were 100 proof..

"Because I can't keep track of you, smart ass." she snapped. " Every time I turn around you've disappeared. Nice way to support me, honey." she added and pushed his hand away when he tried to sneak it around her waist.

" I'm sorry. " he said automatically. He was so fucking sick of apologizing, he could scream. But if it made life easier, and held off another 'serious discussion', he'd deal with it.

"You'd better be." she replied and poked her finger into his chest. Hard enough to make him wince.

"I hate when you do that." he said and she narrowed her eyes and smiled.

" I know. That's why I do it." she announced .

Tony smirked. " I guess I should be grateful for small favors. " he said. "Like you not having a knife in your hand at that particular moment." he added.

"Not funny." she snapped. "You make it sound like I want to pick fights with you. I don't. I just wish you could manage to show a little bit of enthusiasm for the things that are really important to me. " she said .

Tony considered biting his tongue and letting it pass, but fuck it, he wasn't going to take that one lying down. However, a snarky retort died on his tongue when he saw Ziva standing in the doorway, arm in arm with her 'friend'. He'd been convinced that she would make a hasty exit after the little scene upstairs, but perhaps having her good friend suit boy with her convinced her to stay. Or maybe he'd been wrong about his words and the effect they may have had on her. He never did manage to get much right when it came to Ziva.

"Nothing to say?" Faith wondered and he tore his attention away from the doorway and looked at her blankly for a moment.

"About?" he asked .

Fatih sighed in a very martyr like way. "Just how much have you had to drink? I swear, I think you have ADD. Maybe I should slip you some of Justice's Adderall." she complained. Justice was her youngest son, the product of her last marriage, to a circuit court judge. Small for his age, he wore glasses,braces and his middle name was Emancipation or something equally asinine. Yeah, that poor kid wasn't getting his ass kicked on a regular basis. Not much.

"Hey, I'm always up for new experiences." he mused . He felt itchy and tired and dried up, like his skin was stretched too tightly over his bones. Like a twig about to snap underfoot. He was being unreasonable and snippy and unattentive, and he felt both guiltless and great about it, and that depressed the hell out of him.

Faith smirked. " It decreases your sex drive. So I'd only be punishing myself. " she said .

Tony laughed. " Thank you, honey. I'm going to take that as a compliment. So I must be good for something, I guess. In spite of my short attention span.." he said.

"You should be complimented.." she countered immediately. "You are an excellent lover. " she said, in a tone so clinical and ordinary, she may as well have been telling him he needed work on his backhand. "And I never said you weren't good for anything. Just that you sometimes have a problem with drifting, and lack of concentration. Not to mention your shitty memory. That's just one more thing we have to discuss in depth. Have you talked about that with your therapist?" she wondered.

"I forget. " Tony countered, only half listening now. Faith finally noticed what was diverting his attention as she followed his gaze across the room.

"Should I be concerned?" she asked as she sized up Ziva and apparently found her lacking in some way, if the look on her face was any indication.

"About?" Tony asked, in spite of knowing exactly what she was referring to. Or rather, to who. Or maybe that should be whom. He never could keep that straight.

Faith smirked and put her hand under his chin to direct his attention back to her. "She's a little young for you isn't she?" Faith asked .

Tony stiffened considerably. " Not really. You think?" he asked.

Faith shrugged. " It's hard to tell with those exotic, foreign types. " she said.

"How do you know she's foreign?" Tony wondered.

"I heard Alan and Neil talking about her. Or rather, salivating over her." she amended.

"Alan and Neil?" Tony asked.

Faith sighed, this time the put upon school teacher running out of patience with her fourth grade class version. He really hated that one. "The two associates who just made partner. We went to their partnership dinner, remember?" she reminded him. He didn't, but he'd been to at least five business functions with her in the last six weeks, and after awhile all the faces and names tended to blur together.

" Sure. Of course" he said, still only barely listening.

Faith smirked. "Anyway, they talked to her, and said she was foreign, but apparently, she does speak English. " she mused. "I heard her mention her name, it's something with a Z, I think. " she continued. "Haven't you had your fill of the exotic, foreign type, though? . That woman who used to work with you. The one who left with no explanation. Wasn't she?.."

"Israeli." Tony cut in.

Faith nodded. "Right."she said and grinned slowly. " You never mentioned what she looked like, so I'm guessing she may have been foreign ,but hardly the exotic, femme fatale type. I'm thinking combat boots, a unibrow and armpit hair. " she mused. Tony kept silent as Faith studied Ziva intently. " What was her name again? I'm sure you mentioned it once but I can't seem to remember it for some reason.." she asked.

"Ziva." he said "Ziva David. " he paused a beat to let the name sink in, and watched Faith's eyes widen and then narrow as her mouth dropped pointed in the general direction of Ziva.

"That's." she sputtered..."HER?" she exclaimed, loud enough to make a couple of heads turn in their direction, Ziva's included.

" Why didn't you tell me she was here?" Faith hissed through gritted teeth.

"Because I didn't know about it until 20 minutes ago. "Tony replied. " And what difference does it make if she's here or she isn't?" he asked .

Faith narrowed her eyes. "It obviously makes a difference to you. You haven't taken your eyes off her since she walked into the room." she said.

Tony was ready for her. "It's bizarre seeing her, that's all.. I didn't expect to show up here tonight and see her. " he said. "Excuse me if I'm a little taken aback. " he added .

Faith eyed him suspiciously. "And that's all it is?" she asked. "You worked together for quite awhile, didn't you?" she added.

" 8 years. " Tony replied. "Do you think there's any of that shrimp left? I never did get to try it.." he said.

" I don't know. So why don't you ever talk about her?" Faith continued.

"There's not much to say." Tony said. "We worked together, and then she left, and we didn't anymore. It's pretty simple." he said, even though simple was the last word he would ever use to describe the relationship between him and Ziva. Simple was one thing it never was.

Faith made a harrumph noise. "Okay, then. I'll let the not introducing me thing slide for now. But only if we go over and you do it now. " she said.

Tony furrowed his brow. "Excuse me?" he asked .

Faith rolled her eyes. "Don't be obtuse, Anthony." she warned him. " You've met nearly every one of my co -workers. The least you can do is introduce me to yours." she said.

"You've met my coworkers. More than once. You even had lunch with Abby, remember?" he reminded her.

Faith grimaced. "Yes. How could I forget that? A picnic in her laboratory. Right next to the petrie dishes." she added. It took two showers with antibacterial scrub for her to even begin to feel somewhat normal again afterwards. "I haven't met all your coworkers." she persisted .

"You've met all my current coworkers." Tony countered. "I didn't realize you wanted me to include former coworkers, too. There's an entire squad room of cops in Baltimore we can start with if you like." he added. "The road trip to Philly might be nice to do for a weekend, but I'm not sure if any of the people I worked with are still there. Haven't kept in touch. You know how these things go." he continued.

Faith crossed her arms, mindful not to wrinkle her dress too badly. "You don't want to introduce us? Why? Are you ashamed of me?" she asked.

"Yes. Absolutely. Terribly, horribly ashamed." Tony said. " I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this. " he added .

Faith smiled. "Okay, then. Fine. If you won't do it, I will. " she said, unfolded her arms and resumed her eternal battle against the evils of wrinkled clothing. While she did that, Tony weighed his options. He could let her go over there alone and introduce herself, and let the chips fall where they may. It wasn't very likely that Ziva would say much of anything about their personal relationship. But there was always a chance that she might...He should go over there with her. No sense taking chances.

"You want an introduction? Let's do it. " he said and held out his arm.

Faith smiled. "Thank you, dear. " she sure she positioned her left hand in plain sight on his arm.

"Oh, yes. I do not think it would be difficult to arrange something like that." Ziva said. The GCCN push was going along nicely,and one of the partners from the DC office asked her about possibly sending someone down to the office for a company inservice.

"Great. I'll have my secretary contact you. Just let her know when you think you'll be able to make it down." the one with the grey hair, Alan, smiled at her.

" Oh, I did not necessarily mean myself," Ziva said immediately. " There are others who could speak with much more knowledge and detail about exactly how we put all the donations to work " she said .

Alan laughed. " That's very nice. But I'm afraid I'm going to have insist that you be the one to come down and do the presentation. Am I right, Neil?" he asked.

The man standing next to him nodded. "Absolutely. I'm not sure if you realize it, but I certainly hope GCCN speak so eloquently about the things you've seen, there's a real passion there. " he smiled. "I hope you don't mind, but I read your bio on the website. You have quite the amazing resume, Miss David. " he added. Ziva felt her face burn. " I hope I didn't embarrass you. " he said with a wince. "If I did, it certainly wasn't intentional. " he continued. "It's just that you have a remarkable history, and the fact that you're now doing what you do for GCCN is well.." he paused.

"Remarkable. " Alan finished for him and the people around him chuckled. "We wouldn't expect you to talk about anything but GCCN, Miss David. I hope we didn't give you the wrong impression. " he said .

Ziva looked relieved. " Thank you. I much prefer to concentrate on the present rather than dwell on the past." she said.

She heard a derisive snort at her remark and looked up. She had not noticed Tony and that woman approaching, and she wondered what this could possibly be about. Besides making noises at her that sounded like a donkey. Perhaps he felt the need to humiliate her in front of others. She felt the woman's eyes give her the twice over, and she decided she would not look away. She was quite finished with looking away. Instead, she smiled and kept silent, surprised at the large, rather gaudy diamond on her left hand. Tony usually had better taste than that.

"I hope we're not interrupting. " the woman began in a soft, husky voice that was barely above a whisper.

Alan smiled. "No, of course not. Miss David was just telling us about her last trip to Syria. "

Faith raised an eyebrow. " Syria. Well I hope it wasn't recently, considering what's going on over there these days. " she said.

"It was not." Ziva said. "I do not believe we were introduced." she began and extended her hand.

" I know who you are, Miss David. " Faith said and ignored Ziva's hand. " No thanks to my fiance, of course. Apparently, he likes to keep some things secret. Even from me." she said and glanced at Tony quickly. He was silent, his eyes vacant.

"I'm sorry. Did we miss something?" Alan asked.

Faith nodded. "Apparently. Miss David was my fiance's partner for 8 years. Work partner." she added and held onto Tony's arm a bit tighter.

"Really? Wait, you mentioned that you're a Federal Agent, Tony, is that right?" Neil asked and Tony nodded.

" And Miss David's bio mentioned that she was also a Federal Agent. " Alan said. "Well, this is a remarkable coincidence, isn't it?" he beamed.

Faith smiled, but it was false. "Yes, remarkable. " she said and eyed Ziva, whose face remained impassive.

Aaron reached for her hand, and linked it through his arm. " I've found that most things about Ziva are quite remarkable." he said and Ziva was grateful for the support and the kind word and she smiled, hoping he understood it was meant as thanks. It felt as if every eye within 50 feet was on her,especially Skinny Minnies.

"I am afraid I did not catch your name Miss.." Ziva began and extended her hand again. Faith ignored it again. She did have some hand sanitizer left, but she wasn't about to waste it shaking hands with this one in her teeny weeny dress. God only knows where she'd been lately, and with whom.

"Faith Coleman." she replied. "Soon to be Coleman-DiNozzo." she added.

Ziva nodded, swallowed down the lump in her throat and forced a smile. "Congratulations. " she said and then glanced at Tony. "Both of you." she added .

Tony looked back at her for a moment, his eyes dark emerald, but said nothing.

After a brief, awkward silence, Faith spoke again. "So, Miss David..." she began.

"Ziva, please, " Ziva replied.

Faith nodded. "Very well, Ziva. " she amended. " What is it exactly that you do for GCCN? Is it a salaried position?. Positions like the one you described usually require at least one degree, sometimes several. Unless you're a volunteer..Is that it? " she wondered. The condescension in her tone was abundantly clear, and Ziva paused for a moment, eyeing the tall, skinny woman hanging onto Tony so tighly while he just stood there, silent, staring off into space. The questions were none of her business, and Ziva had no intention of answering them.

"Faith." Alan cut in. " I hardly think those are appropriate questions" he said and shook his head.

Faith's smile was tight and false. "Oh, was I being rude? I certainly didn't intend it come off that way. Honestly. " she told Ziva, who recognized bullshit when she heard it. " I tend to be a little nosy when things interest me. " she added, and Ziva still was not buying it.

Neither was Tony. He knew he looked like a perfect pussy whipped ass, standing there and saying nothing. But really, what could he say? He knew nothing about what Ziva did or didn't do these days, and since he'd never bothered to mention her to Faith, neither did she. She had every right to be curious, but she had no right to be rude, on his behalf or her own.

" So what is it that you do, exactly?Your job title would be a good place to start " Faith continued; undaunted.

"Faith." Tony cut in and apparently, she'd been waiting for him to say something,if the flashing anger in her eyes when she turned to him was any indication.

"Yes?" she asked, her tone almost daring him to say something to stop her.

" Associate Director of Development, North Africa and the Middle East." Ziva said before Tony could say anything .

Faith turned her attention back to Ziva. "See? That wasn't so difficult, was it?" she asked.

"Faith. " Alan put his hand on her arm. " May I have a word with you? Alone? " he asked and glanced at Tony. "You don't mind if I steal her away for a few minutes, do you?" he asked.

"No, of course not. " Tony said .

Faith released her death grip on Tony's arm. "Don't disappear again." she warned him quietly before Alan lead her off to a quiet corner of the glanced at Neil, who nodded and excused himself to join them.

"I suppose I should apologize for that."Tony said to Aaron and Ziva when they were alone.

" It is fine." Ziva said. " I understand that she is probably curious about me." she added.

"Curious is one thing. Rude and condescending is another. I'm sorry about that." Tony said and Ziva nodded, but did not look him in the eye.

"Thank you. " she said and turned her attention to Aaron. "I still have not met those people you mentioned earlier." she said, and hoped he would follow along. He hadn't mentioned any particular people, but she simply could not stand here and be awkward and uncomfortable with Tony, of all people. She would lose whatever composure she had left, for sure.

Aaron, bless him, played along nicely. " Oh, right. " he nodded. "The people from Westmart. That is a pretty big fish. Will you excuse us, Tony?" he added.

" Only if you'll allow me a moment to apologize on my own behalf first. " Tony said and Ziva finally looked him in the eye. He studied her in silence for a moment and then continued. " I was childish and asinine earlier, and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry." he told Aaron, who waved it off with one hand.

"Forgotten. Don't worry about it." he said and extended his free hand. "Thanks. " Tony said as they shook hands.

"Will you excuse us?" Aaron asked and before Tony could say yes or no or anything else, they were gone, on their way out of the room. He watched them go, just as Faith reappeared, and grabbed hold of his arm again. She noticed he was alone shortly afterwards, and apparently decided it was okay let go of his arm now. She immediately began smoothing out her dress. Again.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" she said after a brief silence. Tony was still thinking about Associate Director for Africa and the Middle East and what that meant. Lots of travel to dangerous places, he supposed. Nothing she wasn't used to, and nothing that should concern him. But it did, in spite of himself. He realized Faith was speaking to him.

"Ask you about what?" he wondered.

Faith made a little pouty face. "About the little dressing down I just got from Alan and Neil, that's what." she said. Tony wasn't really interested, but pretended to be to avoid an argument. Something he seemed to do more and more frequently these days, and he reminded himself that he was all about making compromises these days. "Apparently, I was rude and condescending . Can you imagine?" she asked and winked at him.

"Actually, you were. " Tony said quietly. "Why is that?" he wondered and watched the smug look on her face disappear quickly, replaced by anger.

"Because you weren't. That's why." she snapped. "That woman left all of you in the needed to stand up for you if you weren't going to do it yourself." she said.

Tony took a deep breath. "Who are you? My mother?" he hissed. " If I have a problem with someone, I'll handle it. I don't need you to fight my battles for me. " he said.

Faith smirked. "Like you were going to tell her off? When was that going to happen, Tony?" she asked. " You may think I'm stupid. I'm not. " she continued. "I figured out awhile ago that you and she were probably involved to some degree." she said. "And that you were having a hard time getting over it until I came along." she smiled and linked her arm through his. "I understand about office flings. They happen and they rarely end well. Lord knows mine never did. " she shrugged and then smiled wider at the look on his face. "You think you're the only one who gets to keep secrets?" she asked. "The important thing is that it's over now, for good. You've moved on, and it looks like she has, too. I just wanted to make sure she got that message. Loud and clear. " she finished and the smug look was back.

She moved onto talking about something or someone else and he stopped listening again. He was too busy realizing that he had the same feeling in the pit of his stomach now as the one he used to get when he was a kid, and he'd cut school to spend the day at some dingy movie house, watching Bogart and stuffing his face with popcorn and raisinets.

At the end of those days there was this queasy anxiety, a sense of panic and unease. The way you felt when you knew you'd done something stupid or wrong or both, and just now figured out it was too late to fix it.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The next morning  
>Tim Mc Gee's apartment<br>Washington, DC

_**AN: For my latest guest reviewer who suggested (at least I think it was a suggestion) I'd 'Better start watching again because the show is better than ever.' Thanks for the advice, but I'll pass and hold onto my memories. You enjoy it,though, especially 'Tony in love'.Thanks for reading and taking the time and effort to comment. Even if it wasn't about my story.  
><strong>_

Tim yawned and scratched his head as he waited for the coffee to finish. checked the computer clock and then his watch. It was nearly 11 am and he had no idea why he was up so early. He was usually good for at least noon on Sundays, especially on a lazy, holiday weekend. He probably shouldn't say that last part out loud, or he was liable to get a surprise phone call about a dead petty office somewhere.

He reached up for a mug, yawned again and heard his cell phone buzzing away on the kitchen island. Damn it. He knew he shouldn't have even thought about the damned dead Petty Officer. He reached for the phone and was relieved to discover it was Senior DiNozzo, and not Gibbs and a dead Petty Officer. He also remembered that it was the day after the night before and that's likely what the call was about..

"Tim! How are you, kid?" Senior sounded positively gleeful.

Tim poured himself some coffee and grinned.. "Not too bad, Mr D. Obviously not as good as you are, though." he said and Senior chuckled.

"After your email last night, I didn't expect.."Tim began.

"I know. Neither did I. "Senior explained. " Tim, last night was a mess. A nightmare. But today. Ah today. Now that's a different story." he said.

Tim took a seat at the kitchen table, coffee in hand. "So what happened between then and now? "he wondered.

"Well, it started this morning...Linda and I opened the front door to head out to an early brunch..and who do you think we found waiting on our doorstep?" he asked.

Tim laughed."I'll take a shot in the dark and say Tony?" he suggested .

Senior laughed again. "Excellent guess,. Tim. " he said.

"So you have heard from him today. I was wondering about that. " Tim said.

"Yes. And apparently, things did not go well after we left the party last night. " he began. ". I already told you the part that involved Ziva. " he began.

"You did. Which is why I'm surprised to hear you sounding so chipper this morning."

Senior sighed. "I'm not sure I can explain it, Tim. All I know is, the Tony who showed up on our doorstep this morning is more like himself than he has been in months. I like to think seeing Ziva again knocked some sense into him, but anyway..What was I saying before? Oh right, the 's the gist of what happened after we left,Tony's version..." he continued

The Players Club  
>NYC<br>The night before

"And that dress certainly screams that she's doing pretty well. I think it's a Pamella Roland, and those do not come cheap, trust me.I'll have to Google salaries for that job title. What did she say it was again? Assistant Director of something?" Faith was saying, but all Tony could hear was noise. And not pleasant, ocean breeze type white noise. Unpleasant, discordant noise that had no color, only sound. "Tony. Tony are you listening to me?" she asked.

"No. " he admitted and then turned to face her. "Don't ever do that again." he said .

Faith frowned. "Don't ever do what again?Stick up for you?" she asked.

"Embarrass me in front of a former co worker." he said .

Faith lowered her gaze. " Any former co worker, or just that one in particular?" she asked. " I'm the one who should be mad. Obviously you didn't think I deserved to know about her." she said,

Tony sighed. " You're right . And I'm sorry about that. It ended badly, and I didn't see the point in rehashing it. It's over. There's no point in bringing up the past, is there?" he asked .

Faith shrugged. "There might be, if I thought you still had feelings for her. But I can see that you don't. So what's the harm in making her twist her in the wind a little?" she shrugged again and fiddled with his tie.

"We're going to have to talk about this later." he said .

Faith laughed, "That's usually my line. " she said. " And actually? I'd rather not." she decided. " How about we just put it behind us?" she said and Tony looked puzzled.

"I don't get it. You're usually the one who wants to talk, and now you don't? You don't want to hear about what happened with me and Ziva?" he asked and Faith tilted her head sideways.

"Honestly? No. You said it's over, and I believe you. Whatever happened in the past needs to stay there. " she said and decided she'd made the right choice when he looked relieved. She could find out all about Little Miss Charity worker all by herself. Research was one of her specialties. And if all else failed, she could always call that freak show Abby and pump her for some info.

Tony sneaked his arm around her waist. "How about we skip out of here and go back to the hotel?" he whispered into her ear.

"Sorry. No can do. " she said and patted his chest. " I realize you have the attention span of a fruit fly, but did you forget that we're going to the office after this?" she asked and made a tsk tsk sound with her tongue that set his teeth on edge.

Tony felt that itch under his skin again. The tightness, that feeling like the nerves underneath were just below the surface, ready to pop through his skin at a moment's notice. "In spite of my short attention span, I seem to remember that I didn't say I was going with you. Apparently, you decided for both of us. " he said .

She shoved his hands away from her waist. " So you're not going with me?" she asked .

Tony nodded. " That would be correct, yes. I've done my due diligence as your plus one for the evening already. I don't see the need for extra innings. " he said.

Faith narrowed her gaze suspiciously. " So. Are you planning some sort of rendevous with Zena Warrior princess? Because you didn't seem quite so adamant about not going before she showed up," she said ,

Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Yes. That's it. We're headed for Empire State building, and she's going to blow me on the observation deck." he said. "Very Affair to Remember." he added. "Please don't be paranoid about this. Please. It's over." he hated begging for anything. But he was willing to do it, to add it to the list of compromises, just to get through the evening. He needed quiet, and darkness for awhile, a chance to think and remember and take a look at himself.

He'd jumped into something with both feet, and it took until tonight for him to realize that perhaps that wasn't the best idea. The timing of this realization wasn't lost on him, either. Seeing Ziva had shaken him to his core, and now the memories just wouldn't didn't help that she was more beautiful than ever, incandescent and sparkling, and as always, just beyond his reach .Unfair to Faith or not, he needed some time alone, to slow down and catch his breath and consider just what he'd gotten himself into.

"How many of these events have we been to in the last six weeks?" he asked when her face remained angry and silent. " And I've never said no to you about any of them. Not once. " he said.

Faith nodded. "Right. Because I'm settling into a new job, and these things are important to me. Therefore, they're important to you, too. Or they should be. " she said .

"Correct. But that's a two way street. Or it should be." Tony said. " How many times have I asked you if we could get together with the people I work with? And how many times have you put it off?" he asked .

Faith seemed unfazed. "I've been busy settling into a new job. As I just told you. You really need to listen to me." she shook her head as if scolding a misbehaving child.

Tony sighed. He bit back the urge to tell her to fuck off; he didn't want to get into it with her here, It was bad enough that they were hissing at each other like the reptile house after lights out. "You wouldn't have to do anything." he said after taking a deep breath. " Just show up at a restaurant, that's all. I wouldn't ask you to cook or have them over or.."

"Considering I don't cook, and have no intention of ever learning, that's a good idea. " she snapped. " Besides, If we're being truthful, I have absolutely NO desire to spend time with those freaks you work with. " she added. " Everyone knows you're not going anywhere,so there's no need for any kissing up on my part." she said . "And don't look at me like that. Okay maybe the word freaks was a little harsh, but I have to admit,I've never understood your insistence on calling those people your family. They're not your family, I am. And if you left tomorrow, they'd get over it. You said it yourself, they forgot about Zelda fast enough" she said and waved her hand. "I'm tired of talking about this. You do whatever it is you want to do tonight, and I'll see you on Tuesday." she said .

Tony frowned. "Tuesday?" he asked and held onto her arm before she could walk away.

"Yes. Tuesday." she confirmed. "Warren asked me to," she began .

Tony held up his hands. "Forget it. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's much more important than spending a long weekend in NY with your fiance." he said "I'll leave the room key card at the front desk. " he added. " I'll talk to you Tuesday." he said and walked past her,through the small groups gathered here and there, and out the door.

Tim listened intently until Senior stopped speaking. "Wow. I'm not sure what to say about that. Any of it. " he said.

Senior sighed. "I know. And forgive me for that freaks part, but Tony said those were her exact words. And I thought you deserved to know. He was devastated about that part. I could tell. " he sighed again.

"I can imagine. " Tim said. "And the worst part of it all? Some of it's true. We did act as if Ziva never existerd. Who 's to say the same thing wouldn't happen if any of the rest of us left tomorrow?" he asked.

"Eh, not you, Tim. You wouldn't forget. And neither would Tony. " Senior said.

"I'm not so sure about everyone else, though."Tim mused. "Anyway, it's not a problem. It's good to know that the weird vibe I always get from her isn't just me. " he added. " So what happened at brunch? Is the engagement over?" he asked.

"Unfortunately, no. " Senior said. "But he's definitely rethinking his situation."he continued.

Norma's  
>Le Parker Meridian Hotel<br>NYC  
>Sunday<p>

"So I booked a room at the Edison, ordered a pizza from John's and listened to Only the Lonely for a couple of hours." Tony explained.

"Uh oh," Senior looked over his coffee cup at his son. "Only the Lonely? It was that bad?" he asked.

Tony shrugged. "I was angry. First , at you two, for meddling. " he said and decided yes, he was going to have sugar in his coffee today. Okay, Stevia. There was no point in completely blowing everything he'd sweated for.

" I realize that we took you by surprise. But admit it, if you knew ahead of time, you would have found some way to get out of showing up, " Senior said .

Tony nodded. "I'll admit that. " he said easily. " I had a lot of time to think last night, and I came to the conclusion that I can't seem to stay angry at you. " he directed his statement to Linda.

"Oh great. " Senior said . "So I guess I'm under the bus on this one. " he said.

Linda chuckled. " I think he's teasing us, darling. Aren't you Tony?" she asked pointedly .

Tony smirked. " I suppose. But I'd appreciate a little warning from both of you the next time you decide to turn my life upside down." he said .

Senior set down his coffee cup. "That's fair enough, I guess. " he said. "So. You did some thinking about more than just us last night, I assume. " he added.

"I did. " Tony admitted and traced his finger around the rim of his coffee cup. "I thought about Mc Gee, too. The two of you plotting behind my back is..." he shook his head. "It's probably the nicest thing either of you have done for me in years. " he said .

Senior smiled "Don't forget about Shmeil. He had a hand in it, too. " he said .

Tony nodded. "Right. The man of steel ,too. I suppose if I ever see him again, I'll have to thank him, too " he said.

" Never mind how it happened. " Linda said. "The point is, it did happen. " she put her hand on his arm. "You seem so much more ...well, you, for lack of a better word.." she said. "Did what happened at the party cause that?" she wondered.

"It did, but I doubt we're referring to the same thing." Tony said. " I realized that I'd jumped in the pool up to my neck, and I still wasn't sure if I was ready to swim or drown. " he half smiled."That's a lousy analogy...What I meant is, I was so tired of going through life as a me. I wanted to be an us.. And I wanted to be an us with a very specific person. She didn't want that, but it didn't change the fact that I did. I still do. What i figured out last night was that I'm not so sure I've found the other half of my us. Do you know what I mean?" he asked and Linda nodded.

"I told myself compromises are a part of life, and that healthy, well adjusted adults have to make them all the time. So I wasn't completely kidding myself. I knew that what I have with Faith isn't the same as... Well, I guess it wouldn't be considering what I thought I had with Ziva...well, that was all in my head. ..." he waved his hand, his voice thick with emotion.

Linda put her hand over his. "The feelings you had were real. You just have to figure out if the ones you have for Faith are real, too. So it isn't the same as what you felt for Ziva.." she prompted.

Tony nodded. " But that doesn't mean it can't be something good, right? I mean, look at you two. That's what I kept telling myself. If you two can do it.." he sighed and rubbed his free hand over his face. "Anyway, then Faith called. " he said. "Right in the middle of Angel Eyes." Tony sighed. Senior and Linda kept silent as he continued. " And so, I thought, 'Great. She's calling to apologize for the way she acted, and all this thinking and wallowing will have been for nothing. I won't have to compromise and swallow it whole again." he said.

"And did she?" Senior asked, even though he kind of already knew the answer.

"Nope. She called to tell me that she forgave me for my behavior, and eventually, I would see that she was right and give her the apology she deserved. And that maybe we should start going to counseling. " he said flatly. "Because apparently, I have 'issues'." he said and did angry air quotes. "Look, I know I'm not easy to live I've been trying to change. I've been supportive about her work, and I've showed up to every single one of her fucking Office functions, excuse my French. " he added. " I made nice with her coworkers, and her pretentious douchebag boss. We spend time together, I go places with her even when I don't really want to go, and I don't complain about it. Much,.I'm nice to her kids when they bother to speak to me. I'm not sure what else she wants from me. " he said.

"Did you ask her?" Linda asked.

Tony nodded. "And you know what she said? She said. 'If you have to ask that question, then you don't know me at all.'. And you know something? She's right. I guess don't know her at all. " he said. "God knows, I've seriously misjudged situations like this in the past. The recent past. " he smirked.

"So? Don't leave us hanging, Junior. " Senior urged.

Tony shrugged. " So, I told her that if she really felt that way, maybe we should spend a little time apart from each other. Just to get our heads on straight. " he said.

Senior bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning like a loon. "And what did she think about that idea, son?" he asked carefully.

" I'm guessing not much. Because her response was to hang up on me." Tony said. " And you know what? I actually thought about calling her back and apologizing, just to keep the peace. And then I looked at my reflection in the phone screen, and wondered how much longer I could live with myself if I kept this up. The going along with things to keep the peace crap I've been doing with Gibbs for years. Doing what he said, not what I wanted, just to keep the peace" he said. " I'm too old for that shit in my personal life. It already cost me... Well,,shit, I can't really blame Gibbs for what happened with Ziva .Not anymore. " he said . "But I shouldn't have to take it in my private life, too. I won't. " he added.

"So what happens now, Tony?" Linda asked .

Tony shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think it's probably for the best if Faith and I don't see each other for a while. Just until we both figure out what we want. " he said. "I mean, what's the big rush, anyway, right?" he asked and smiled half heartedly, in a way that broke Senior's heart.

"You said you couldn't blame Gibbs for what happened with Ziva. " Senior said. This was the most his son had talked about her since he returned from Israel, and if he wanted answers, and he did, now was as good a time as any to ask.

Tony rubbed at imaginary spot on the tablecloth with his finger. " I did. " he said without looking up.

" So who do you blame now, son?" Senior asked and Tony looked up again. "Because it sounds like you blame yourself. And that's not fair." Senior continued.

" I did. For a long time I wondered if there was something I could have done that would have made her change her mind about me. But I figured out you can't make people love you if they don't back in the Angela Fusillo days." Tony said. "I kicked myself for a long time for misreading the situation so badly. I guess I just saw what I wanted to see. " he said and Linda put her hand on his cheek.

" I'm not so sure about that, son." Senior said.

"I am. " Tony said in a voice that suggested he wasn't in any mood to argue about it. " But you're right. Blaming myself for it was stupid." he said and lowered his gaze to the table again, still rubbing at that imaginary spot.

Linda nodded. "So, you blame Ziva for what happened.." Linda said.

Tony looked up again. " I do. " he said. "But I'm not sure I should anymore. " he said. "Hell, I'm not sure of much of anything these days. Except that I feel more like myself than I have in weeks. And that's a good thing, right?" he asked and slapped his palm on the table lightly. "I say we table this discussion for now in favor of a trip to the buffet. All in favor?" he asked and raised his own hand before he pushed the chair back from the table and got to his feet.

"Wow. " Tim said. "It sounds like something certainly shook him up." he mused. " Did you ever find out exactly what it was that Ziva said to him?" Tim wondered.

Senior sighed. "She told him she wasn't sure she could ever love him as anything more than a friend. " he said .

Tim winced. "Ouch. She friend zoned him. That's the worst. If she wanted to cut him, that would do it. " he said. "But why would she? How the hell could she do that?" he asked. "As much as I never wanted to admit it, I know the two of them were a lot more than friends. That's INSANE." Tim insisted.

" I agree," Senior said. " I don't know how she could have done that...but I think I might know why.." he began" I keep going back to what Shmeil said about Ziva. " Senior said. "She doesn't think she's worthy of love. She doesn't know how to accept it. Tony went to Israel to sweep her off her feet..."

"And it scared her to death instead." Tim finished for him.

"Exactly. " Senior said.

"So she panicked. " Tim continued. " And she told him something she knew would break his heart, and keep him away for good. Of course. Tony's said it a million times. It takes an awful lot to scare Ziva David. But when something does, she runs. " he sighed and shook his head. "Do you really think it's possible?" he added.

" If I thought of it and you thought of it...I think it's definitely possible. " Senior said. "Tony's still too hurt to even contemplate the concept, and if that is why she did and said what she did,I don't think she said it to deliberately try and destroy him" he said.

"She probably thought she was doing him a favor." Tim said. "What else did Tony say?" he asked

"Oh, right. I haven't finished my story. " Senior continued...


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_**AN: To my latest brave guest reviewer: Sorry if you found my introduction 'offputting and immature.' But it's just as well. I have a feeling this story wouldn't be to your liking, anyway. Perhaps reading the label clearly marked TIVA would save you from some wasted time in the future.**_

_**You are entitled to your opinion, and I would never delete a negative review. Everyone likes what they like . But I resent the hell out of your backhanded, passive aggressive implication and potential labeling of me as some fanatic who harasses actors. You know nothing about me. **_

_**I'll leave your review where it is, but another implication like that won't be taken lightly. If your intention was to get me to stop posting this story because it annoys you or doesn't jive with your world view, I'm sorry. You failed.  
><strong>_

_**I wasn't going to post this chapter today, but I had to get that off my chest. My apologies for the rant.  
><strong>_

Norma's  
>Le Parker Meridian Hotel<br>NYC  
>Earlier the same day<p>

" That was great. " Tony said and set down his fork " Between this and the pizza last night, I'll need five extra miles on the track this week. " he smirked and patted where his gut used to be. "Worth every step." he added .

Senior smiled and sipped his coffee . "So..." he began.

Tony reached for a packet of Stevia and shook it back and forth. "So." he repeated.

Senior set down his cup. " I can't get over the difference in you, son. " he smiled.

"It really is remarkable. " Linda agreed. " If you don't mind my asking..." she began .

Tony smiled. " Go ahead. I'll tell you if I mind after I hear the question. " he said.

Linda nodded and set down her coffee cup. " Yesterday, you were perfectly happy with your life, and with the way things were going with Faith. So what changed?" she wondered .

Tony's smile faded. " I don't think I can pin it down to one thing. Or one event. " he said. " I've been...I don't know...Uneasy, I guess, for awhile now. " he said. " I think we moved too fast. I need to slow down a little." he continued .

Linda nodded. " And seeing Ziva..do you think it's possible that could have something to do with your change of heart?" she asked .

Tony frowned. " I don't think one thing has anything to do with the other. Why would it?" he asked .

Linda shrugged. "You have to admit, it's an odd coincidence. " she said. "Isn't it possible that seeing Ziva made you remember what being in love was supposed to feel like?" she asked and put her hand on his arm. "Please. Please don't be angry. " she said quickly when Tony's face turned red.

"I'm not angry. " he said carefully. "I'm just wondering why you'd say that to me. You don't think I love Faith?" he asked.

Linda shrugged. "I think you want to. I'm just not certain that you do. And I think that's what this...unease is about. You're not sure about that either, are you?" she asked.

Tony stared at her in silence for a long few minutes. "I want to be. " he finally said.

"But you aren't. " Senior said.

" And what kind of asshole does that make me?" Tony wondered bitterly. " I want to move on. I want to love Faith. It would be so much easier if I..." he sighed. "Seeing her yesterday..it brought everything back again. I thought. I was so convinced that she was the one, you know. THE ONE. I thought that way for so long, it's hard to remember when I didn't. " he said. " Did she look different to you? I thought so. Not bad different..just different. " he mused.

Senior glanced at his wife, who nodded subtly. " I don't know, son. Linda's the one who actually spoke to her at length, I didn't really get the..."

"You spoke to her?" Tony asked Linda, who nodded. " About?" Tony prompted.

"Mostly about her work. " Linda said and watched Tony's face fall, in spite of his seemingly best effort not to show any emotion at all. " She seems very happy about it, in case that interests you. She lit up just talking about it." she added.

Tony nodded. "That's great." he said flatly.

Linda waited for a moment and then spoke again. " I got the feeling her job is a very important part of her life. Well, you know she works for GCCN" she began. " So I told her that I was sorry I missed her speech at the Pierre and.."

" So that WAS her?" Tony interrupted .

Linda frowned. "I'm sorry?" she asked .

Tony waved his hand. "Never mind. Please. Continue." he said .

Linda nodded. " Well, I told her I was sorry I missed her speech, but that PIF is really impressed with the organization...Oh, I told you that already, didn't I?" she smiled. "She asked me if I knew about you and her, of course. And before you say anything, I only mentioned that I knew that she used to work with you, Tony. Nothing more than that. I think she was afraid that I wouldn't want to talk to her if I knew about the two of you." she explained and Tony nodded. "She asked about your father and our marriage, and she seemed happy for us. She's very fond of your father. " Linda continued and Senior smiled. " We went to look at the Sargents, and she mentioned being a fan of his work. " Linda said and noticed Tony's eyes darken, and his mood shift slightly. " So we looked at the Jefferson portrait, and she told me some stories about her travels for work, and that she doesn't travel much anymore. " Linda continued.

Tony's gaze was fixed on the table , but apparently he was listening because he prompted. " Did she say why?" he asked without looking at her .

"No, she didn't. " Linda replied. "And I'm not sure if I should tell you this or not." she continued. "But she did ask about you, Tony. " she said.

Tony's gaze turned back to Linda. " Did she?" he managed to ask without flinching.

"Yes. We were talking about your father and me, and our history, and she seemed surprised by it. As most people are." she said carefully. "And she asked about you, and how you felt about our marriage." she continued. "And I told her we had a bit of a rough start, but that we were doing better these days. " she paused, hoping Tony would smile, and he did.

"We are. " he agreed.

" And just when I was about to change the subject, she asked how you were." Linda offered. " And I wasn't sure how much you wanted her to know, or even if it was my place to say anything. So I kept it brief and told her that you were , I wasn't convincing enough, though. Because she went pale, and asked if you were ill. I hadn't intended to upset her, but I did. She asked if I was playing games, and the look in her eyes reminded me of something your Father told me. That you used to call Ziva a Ninja." she smiled. " I hadn't seen that in her at all until that moment. " she mused. "I assured her that you were fine, and she seemed satisfied. And that was about it, I think, Until I saw her in the ladies room, after she came in from the she was definitely not acting the Ninja at that point." she finished.

"She was upset." Tony said .

Linda nodded. "Yes. She was. " she said. "Very upset."

They fell into a brief silence, until Tony spoke again. " I think I need to talk to her." he said .

Senior's head shot up. " Who?" he asked hesitantly. " Ziva." Tony said and Senior tried his best not to grin.

" And don't pretend this wasn't your intention all along." Tony pointed at his father, but there was little venom in his accusation.

"I won't, son. But I thought you said you didn't have anything to say to Ziva anymore." Senior said.

" I'm not sure I do. But I think.." he began and his gaze landed on a table a short distance away. A young father holding a toddler on his lap, sitting across from a woman feeding an infant; the two of them laughing at the perfect mess the toddler was making of his face and hands while feeding himself. "I've been telling myself for months that what she did and what she thought didn't matter to me anymore. And all it took was seeing her once to blow that up completely. " he smiled when the toddler shoved a piece of drippy, syrup drenched pancake into his mouth and then applauded his own efforts.. "I know she doesn't want me, and that she'll never want me the way...Regardless... I can't leave things the way they are now. I had no right to talk to her the way I did last night. " he said .

Senior frowned. " I'm sure she doesn't blame you for being angry, son. You had every right to.."

" She never promised me a .. I'm the one who got it all wrong. That's not her fault. " he said.

"But it's not yours, either. " Senior said .

Tony nodded. " I know. So maybe it's nobody's just wasn't meant to be. " he continued to watch the little family across the room. "For a moment there, I thought we had a shot at something. " he continued. " And I'm not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish by talking to her again. I just know that I can't put it off any more. I have to talk to her again. Even if it's just to properly say goodbye." he said.

"Oh boy.": Tim said and reached for his mug. The coffee was ice cold now, but he took a long sip anyway. "I mean, that's quite a turn around. " he said.

" I know. But that's not the best part, Tim." Senior said. "As we were leaving the restaurant Tony got an email. And he checked it, thinking it might be a message from Faith. Except it wasn't from Faith. It was from Ziva." he said .

Tim set down the now empty mug. "Holy shit. " Tom swore softly .

Senior chuckled at the other end of the call. " Funny. That was Tony's reaction, too. " he said .

Tim laughed. "Did you get to read it?" he asked.

"Do you really have to ask me that, Tim?" Senior laughed...

Tony stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at his phone as if might explode in his hands.

"What is it son, bad news?" Senior asked .

"Holy shit." Tony swore under his breath and looked up at his father. "Ziva. It's an email from Ziva," he explained .

Senior didn't bother to try and hide his grin this time. "Well, don't just stand there, son. Read it." he urged.

**_To:DiNoseKnows _**  
><strong><em>From:FalafelQueen<em>**

**_Tony,_**

**_I do not know if you will ever read this, but I thought I would reach out to you this way before trying to reach you other ways. I am aware that I do not have the right to ask anything of you, and after last night, you likely do not wish to ever see me is why I will leave trying to contact you by phone as my last desert. I would think the last voice you want to hear today would be mine. Please understand that I would not be bothering you with any of this if I did not feel it was very important._**

**_I would like to extend an invitation to you. Whenever it is convenient , I would like you to come to my home. I realize this is likely not something you would care to do, but if I may be granted one last favor, please let this be it. If you wish to bring along your fiance, that would be all right, too. But I believe it would be much better for everyone involved if you came alone. I do not want either of you to think this is a plan to go behind her back in some attempt to bag you.. If you feel you must bring her along, I will understand._**

**_The one thing I will not understand is a refusal. I realize that I am in no position to ask anything of you, but I would not be asking if I did not feel that I must. My address is below,along with my cell phone number. I will wait to hear from you._**

**_Ziva._**

Tony looked up, phone still in hand, head spinning and heart thumping. " I guess that's what's called a happy coincidence, yes?" Senior asked hesitantly.

"Definitely a coincidence. " Tony agreed. "But I'm not so sure about the happy part. So that's why you and Mc Gee were talking about Tarrytown?" he asked .

Senior nodded. "Afraid so, Junior. " he said.

Tony smirked. " I never pegged her as the suburban type. " he said. " I probably should tell Faith about this. " he added.

" You can always tell her about it afterwards. " Linda suggested. " She did say she'd rather you come alone..." she said .

Tony looked up. " Right. And I thought I was past the point where I cared about what Ziva David wanted. " he said.

"Maybe after this, you finally will be. " Linda said and Tony kept silent, and read the email again.

He tapped the screen and typed out a reply before he could lose his nerve.

_**To: FalafelQueen**_  
><em><strong>From:DiNoseKnows<strong>_

_**Ziva,**_

_**Just give me a date and time, and I'll be there. Alone.**_

_**Tony.**_

Senior moved next to him to look over his shoulder and gave Linda the thumbs up as Tony hit send. He slapped his son on the shoulder and grinned. "I think this is going to be a good thing for both of you. " he said.

"For all of us, too. "Linda agreed, but Tony looked uncertain and wondered if he should have thought about it more before replying so quickly. He was still pondering that when his phone buzzed and he looked down.

"She answered. " he said and tapped the screen.

_**To:DiNoseKnows**_  
><em><strong>From:FalafelQueen<strong>_

_**Tony,**_

_**Thank you for answering.**_

_**Would this coming weekend be too soon? I understand how difficult it can be for you to take time off.**_

_**Ziva,**_

He hit reply immediately.

_**From: DiNoseKnows**_  
><em><strong>To:FalafelQueen<strong>_

_**Actually, today or tomorrow would be better. I'm still in the city, so I can get there as soon as you give the word.**_

_**Tony.**_

"Great idea son. No time like the present, I always say. " Senior said after reading over his shoulder again.

"Since when?" Tony smirked and Linda laughed. The phone buzzed again a short time later:

_**From:FalafelQueen**_  
><em><strong>To: DiNoseKnows<strong>_

_**Today will be fine. Whenever you can get here.**_

_**Ziva.**_

"She really wants to talk to you about something." Linda mused. " Any idea what it could be?" she asked.

Tony shook his head. "No clue. But I guess I'll find out soon enough" he said.

_**FromDiNoseKnows**_  
><em><strong>To:FalafelQueen<strong>_

_**I'll be there**_

_**Tony.**_

He hit send and then looked up again. "I should get going. " he said.

Linda smiled. "If this counts for anything, I think you've being awfully generous and considerate." she said ,

Tony smirked. " That's nice of you to say, but I'm not sure that's exactly how I feel. I guess I'm more curious than anything else." he said.

Senior nodded. "Whatever the reason, I'm glad you're going to do it. I think it will help both of you." he said and embraced Tony before he could formulate a response. "Do you need a ride, son?" he asked .

Tony laughed. "No thanks, Dad. Billy's mom is picking us up. " he said.

Senior pulled back to smirk at him. "Sorry. I just felt 9 years old for a minute there. " Tony said .

Senior's eyes clouded briefly. "So sue me for trying to make up for lost time." he said quietly.

Tony smiled. "Don't think it's not appreciated. It is. " he said.

Senior smiled again and put his hand on Tony's cheek. "Call us when you have a chance?" he asked .

Tony nodded. " I will. " he said and leaned over to give Linda a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, both of you. For putting up with me and my insanity." he said.

Linda laughed. "That's what families do, darling. Help us deal with the insanity." she said. Senior stepped to the cab, and managed, as always, to hail a cab on his very first attempt.

Tony climbed in the back seat. "Edison Hotel, please." he told the driver. "Wish me luck." he requested.

Senior nodded. "Absolutely, son. Good luck. " he said. Linda blew him a kiss as the cab pulled away.

"That was about an hour ago. So right about now, he should be on his way to Grand Central to catch the train. " Senior explained.

"Wow. To be a fly on that wall." Tim said.

"I know. I was thinking about sneaking up there on a later train, just in case he needs some moral support or something. But Linda convinced me it was a lousy idea. " Senior said .

Tim laughed. "I agree. It's a lousy idea. " he said. " But if it helps any, the sentiment is very nice. " he added .

Senior laughed. "Thanks, Tim. " he said. " And while I have you on the phone, thanks for all your help with this. Even if it doesn't ever work out, at least we know we did everything we could. " he said.

"Hey, I couldn't say no. " Tim said. "If it brings back the old Tony, I'll be thrilled. As for the rest...well, whatever happens, I hope it all works out for the best. " he said.

"Amen to that, Tim. " Senior agreed.

"So, call me or shoot me a text as soon as you hear from Tony, okay?" Tim asked.

"Will do, Tim. Thanks again. " Senior said . "Take care. "

Tim smiled and put the phone down on the table. Maybe he'd do a little work on that outline his publisher had been pushing for. A book devoted solely to Agents Tommy and Lisa. He'd felt more than a little awkward about the idea, considering how things had or rather, hadn't worked out between Tony and Ziva. But maybe now...What the hell, it was worth a shot. He pushed his chair and got up to retrieve his laptop. If nothing else, it would kill sometime until 1 'o clock kickoff. And until Senior called him back.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

AN: Thanks to those still reading, following and reviewing.

1462 Chestnut Lane  
>Tarrytown, NY<br>Later that same day

"Yes, Dodah. I am positive. " Ziva said in the general direction of the phone. She had it on speaker, propped up against the baby monitor, while she changed a gleefully kicking, laughing Nina.

"Because I am certain that I can get a ride home and. " Nettie began

"Aunt, please do not. I am fine." Ziva insisted, while Nina kicked over the baby powder and then chortled, pleased with herself. Ziva lowered her gaze playfully and patted Nina on her belly. " No, motek. We do not kick that." she said and heard her Aunt laughing on the other end of the phone.

"What did she kick this time?" Nettie wondered .

Ziva smirked at the phone. " The powder. But at least I remembered to close the top . " she said.

Nettie laughed again. "Ahh, you are learning, my love. " she said.

" I do not know what has gotten into her today, Aunt. " Ziva said. "She is kicking and laughing and wriggling like a worm. "

"And this is a bad thing? She is happy. " Nettie said and heard Ziva laugh when Nina grabbed hold of the ends of her hair. "Perhaps she knows who is coming to see you.." Nettie suggested.

Ziva smirked. "Aunt, please. I like to believe she is the most brilliant beautiful child in the world.." she began.

"Of course you do. Because she is," Nettie confirmed. "So of course she knows. Are you certain you want to do this alone?" she asked.

"Yes, Aunt. Aaron told me that I should not have anything to worry about. " Ziva said and finally got the tape on Nina's diaper closed.

She heard Nettie sigh. "All right. But promise me you will call Aaron or Adina or me if you need anything. Anything at all, " Nettie said.

"I will. I promise. " Ziva said. "Thank you for everything. Good luck with your tournament. I love you, Dodah." she said .

Nettie sighed again. " I love you, too, Be'hatzlacha." she said .

Ziva reached over to press the end call button, Nina noticed the shiny blue box that Mama always had with her and held out her little hands expectantly.

"What is it, darling? This?Again?" she held up the phone and Nina stretched out her hands eagerly. Ziva laughed, "You will have this thing glued to your hand soon enough, I fear. " she said and quickly shoved the phone into her back pocket.

Nina frowned, stuck out her lower lip and let out a full blown wail. Ziva sighed and pulled out the phone again, making sure it was turned off. The last time Nina grabbed hold of her phone, she ended up calling some poor man in Norway, who kept yelling something about 'politiet' before Ziva managed to take the phone away from her.

Nina stopped crying immediately and focused her attention on the phone while Ziva got her dressed. Which was not as easy as it sounded, given Nina's death grip on the phone. Normally, she would distract her another way, but today, anything she wanted was all right. Indulgent, perhaps, but it made her feel a little less nervous about everything, and it was just for one day.

She'd hawked and hinged over whether or not to dress up Nina all, how many times did a person get to meet a daughter they did not know existed? In the telenovelas and soap operas on the TV, it happened at least once a month. But this was real life, and she did not want to make it seem like she was using Nina as some sort of bait .But she did not want him to think she was not well loved or well taken care of. .

So she decided on a compromise. A simple white cotton dress printed with little dancing penguins wearing striped scarves and matching hats. Nina had a little stuffed penguin that Adina bought her the day she was born,and besides her Mother's phone , it was probably one of her favorite things. She'd bought the dress at Bergdorf's the day she went for her own dress, because it reminded her of that penguin, and with no idea that Nina would be wearing it this soon.

She managed to work around the phone still clasped tightly in Nina's hands, got the dress buttoned, and the tiny socks on the correct foot, but Nina balked and kicked when she attempted to put on the little black Mary June shoes, and Ziva decided not to push her luck. She could always put them on later. "Fine. I suppose I have made you suffer long enough. " she announced and picked her up . "But it was worth it, my love. You look very beautiful. " Ziva decided and put her down in the carrier seat.

She arranged the mop of honey colored curls on Nina's head with a soft hairbrush and then tucked the tiny pair of shoes in next to her. Thankfully, Nina's full attention was still on Ziva's phone, and she did not make a fuss. "All done, malach. I do not think it is possible to make you look any more beautiful than you already do. So we will go downstairs and wait now, yes?" she asked and picked up carried. Wait and try not to panic.

" And I will tell you some more about your father. Like the one time..there was this lady named Delores, and she worked in Human Resources..." she began and turned towards the stairs.

The sidewalk outside 1462 Chestnut Lane  
>Tarrytown NY<br>At the same time

"This is it. 1462." the cab driver announced and Tony nodded, handed him some money and got out of the car. He watched as the car pulled away from the curb, and wondered again if he should have brought something. Like wine or cupcakes or something. This wasn't exactly a social call, but from the time he was a little kid until now, he heard the voice of his mother in his head ;'If you are invited to someone's home, never go empty handed.'.This might be the first time he ever ignored those words, but only because he wasn't quite sure what this visit was about. Or how long it might last.

He took two steps toward the brick path that led to the front door. A very nice front door it was,too. Red and homey looking with little glass windows that ran along the sides. It looked like a house you'd see on the front of a Christmas card, minus the wreath on the door and one in every window. Not new, but meticulously well kept, with large trees in front and back. The elm out front was especially impressive.

It appeared to be everything a house in the suburbs should be, including the lived in part .The kind of place that gave you a settled in feeling about the neighborhood, a sense of permanence in the big trees that lined the streets. These houses had been around for awhile, and weren't going anywhere anytime soon. And if anyone had bothered to ask him where he thought Ziva might be these days, a place like this wouldn't have made the list. A full blown, grown up house, in a quiet, residential suburb. The kind he fully expected to end up living in; years ago back in the Wendy days.

He and Faith had talked about moving in together before she found the ring and the point became moot, but they had discussed living arrangents, and decided that it made the most sense for him to move into her place; a three bedroom condo in Cathedral Heights. It was a perfectly nice place, much newer than this one, but he doubted it would ever really feel like home. He took two steps back and decided that a nice brisk walk might help settle his jangling nerves a bit.

He turned sideways and found a trim, grey haired man wearing well worn plaid flannel and jeans standing a few feet away on the sidewalk, rake in hand."Can I help you?" he asked, his voice heavy with the distinctive lilt of the 5 boroughs. Tony used to be pretty good at nailing exactly which one, strictly by the way particular words were said.

Tony smiled pleasantly " I don't think so. But thanks." he said.

The man's brown eyes narrowed. " You were staring at that house for awhile. Are you lost?" he wondered and leaned on his rake.

" No, I'm not lost...Queens?" Tony asked.

The man's eyes narrowed even further. "Say what?" he asked .

Tony smiled. " You. You're originally from Queens...Am I right?" he asked .

The man blinked. "Who wants to know?" he asked. "And you still haven't mentioned why you were staring at 1462." he said.

Tony extended his hand. "Tony Di Nozzo. " he said. "And I was staring at the house trying to work up the courage to go up and ring the bell." he said .

The man looked at his hand and then calmly removed his work glove . " You selling something?" he asked and shook Tony's offered hand.

"No. I know the woman who lives here. Or rather, I used to. It's been awhile since I've seen her. She invited me. " Tony said.

The man nodded. "I see. Long Island?" he asked.

Tony raised his eyebrows and then smiled. " Yes. Until I was 12. A lot of other places since then." he explained .

The man nodded again. "You said you had an invite. So why the sweaty palms?" he asked .

Tony smirked. " Too many reasons to count. What did you say your name was?" he asked .

The older man grinned. "I didn't. But you knew that already. You a cop, kid?" he asked.

Tony laughed. "No. But I used to be. " he explained.

" And you're not anymore?" the man asked .

Tony narrowed his eyes and tried another approach. "Who wants to know?" he countered .

The other man chuckled and held up his hands. "Okay. I'll play. " he said. "Jimmy LaRussa. I live at 1460."He pointed to a Dove grey house with black shutters and a wraparound porch a short distance away."Have for nearly 50 years. Originally from Astoria, though. " he winked.

Tony grinned. "Nice to meet you. Nice place you've got there. " he said

Jimmy nodded. "We like it. Always have. Of course, it's kinda big now with the kids gone, and just me and the wife. But l like it here too much to move." he said. "You might say I've got seniority around here." he said and stood up a bit straighter. "I like to keep an eye on things. Who comes and goes, you know. " he explained .

Tony nodded. "Sounds like a good idea. " he said. "Are you a cop?" he asked .

Jimmy smiled. "I was NYPD for 35 years before I retired. That's how I was able to spot you. You know how that goes. " he said .

Tony smiled. "I do." he nodded.

"So what's with the working up courage bit? Since when does a cop need courage to ring a bell?" Jimmy demanded .

Tony smirked. "I'm not a cop anymore. I'm a Federal Agent. And it's a long story. " he explained.

"Oh. I get it. You and the young ,pretty one with the dark hair. " Jimmy put his index fingers next to each other.

"Something like that. " he nodded.

Jimmy smirked "Don't make me kick you in the ass, kid." he said. " You said your last name is DiNozzo, right?" he asked and Tony nodded. "So you're Italian. And a former cop. And now you're a big shot Federal Agent and you're afraid to ring a doorbell?" he asked and lowered his gaze. "Get your ass up to that door. " he said and despite the fact that he had probably had 20 plus years, 20 lbs and six inches on the guy, Tony decided that listening to him was probably a good idea. There was no point in making trouble in her neighborhood and besides , the guy was holding a sort of sharp object.

"Good idea." Tony agreed.

Jimmy smiled. " I'll just wait right here to make sure, kid. " he said and leaned on his rake again. "Don't take forever. I got ten minutes before the Pregame show ." he added and waved his hand at Tony to urge him up the walk.

Tony smirked. "I'm going." he said and briefly wondered if maybe he should have worn something a little nicer than jeans and a sweater. He didn't want to look like he was trying too hard, or even trying at all.

"I don't see moving. " Jimmy said and Tony made his way towards the front steps. He picked up something in a little plastic bag after nearly tripping on it. "Don't throw that out." Jimmy called from the sidewalk. "Good coupons in there." he advised and Tony nodded. "Up the steps, Di Nozzo. You can do it. " Jimmy urged and Tony shot him a glare over his shoulder, which only made the older man laugh merrily.

Ziva paced back and forth in front of the living room fireplace and wondered if she should have worn something nicer than jeans and a sweater after catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror above the mantel. .No, she did not want to appear to be trying too hard, or trying at all. This was fine.

He was not here to see her, even thought he did not know that yet, he was here to see Nina, and Nina looked beautiful. That was what mattered. She glanced over at the carrier, currently sitting on the floor behind the sofa. It was the warmest spot in the room, and conveniently, it was not visible from the front door, or when you walked into the room. She was not trying to hide Nina, but there was no point in giving him a possible heart attack, either.

Nina was still distracted and relatively quiet, aside from the occasional frustrated grunt. Apparently, she was having no luck turning on the phone. Ziva heard the crunch of leaves outside and walked over to the window. She saw Tony walking up the path to the front door, and oh, boy. Mr La Russa was standing on the sidewalk, watching him. Mr La Russa was an absolute sweetheart of a man who lived next door, and liked to look out for everyone on the block, so there was no question that he'd already spoken to Tony. Hopefully, he didn't say anything about Nina. She moved quickly to the front door, and opened it.

" Ciao Mr La Russa. Come stai?" Ziva called out with a wave.

Jimmy grinned and waved from the sidewalk. " Ah, Bella Donna! Bene, grazie" he said. "E tu?" he asked

"Sto bene, grazie. " Ziva said easily.

Jimmy pointed to Tony. "Essere gentile con lui. Sembra ok." he winked.

Ziva nodded . "Grazie Mr La Russa. Say hello to Mrs La Russa!" she called out. " You should come inside before he starts asking questions." she told Tony through grinning teeth. She stepped aside to let him in.

"Too late." Tony said and stepped inside the front door.

Ziva gave a final wave to Mr La Russa, who was still on the sidewalk, watching them and grinning, and then closed the door. " Thank you for coming." she said.

Tony looked around the entryway, at the pictures on the wall, the flowers on the hall table, the coats hanging on the rack in the corner, anything not to look at her face. He finally managed to calm his racing heart and when he turned his attention back to her, he noticed her looking at the plastic bag in his hands.

"Oh. Coupons." he said and handed the bag to looked at him quizzically. "I found it on your front steps. Neighborhood watch guy says it has coupons." he explained

Ziva nodded. "Oh. Okay. Thank you, " she said and put it on the hall table. "Thank you for coming." she said .

"You said that already." Tony replied .

Ziva twisted her fingers together. "Yes. Right. Of course I did. I am sorry. " she said. "May I take your jacket?" she wondered and he shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her. He watched her walk over to the coat rack to hang it up; the epic ass still epic in skinny jeans. He pulled his eyes away just as she turned around.

"Nice place. " he said.

"Thank you. I like it very much." she said. "Would you like some coffee? Or perhaps tea? " she asked.

Actually, he could use a couple of fingers of single malt right about now, but he merely shook his head.

"No, thanks" he said and wondered if it was always going to be this awkward between them.

"I suppose you would like me to just get down on it." Ziva said .

Tony bit back a smile. " Only if you've suddenly turned into Kool and the Gang." he said .

Ziva frowned and pursed her lips in a way that made his chest ache with longing.

"Never mind. " Tony said and waved his hand. " I think you meant 'get down to it'." he said and watched her lovely face turn pink. " And yes, that's probably a good idea. " he said

Ziva nodded. " Come in and have a seat and I..." she began and was interrupted by a staticky muffled sound.

"Hej , vem är det , tack? Kommer någon svara tack? ".

"Oh, shit." Ziva swore softly and moved quickly into the living room.

Tony followed her, and glanced around the warm, inviting room. "What the heck is that?" he wondered and watched as Ziva moved behnd the sofa.

"Swedish, I believe. " she replied and knelt down next to the carrier.

Nina held up the shiny blue phone proudly to show her mother what she had done and Ziva took it from her hands and pressed the end call button.

"You need to stop doing that, my darling." Ziva sighed, and Nina's bottom lip trembled, the way it always did when she was just about to cry. Until something, or rather someone, caught her attention and she looked up, jade eyes wide and curious.

Ziva glanced over her shoulder at the object of her daughter's fascination.

Tony had not spoken. Instead his mouth opened and then closed silently, like a surprised fish. He blinked and pointed at Nina, and then at Ziva, his mouth still opening and closing in silence, his ears red.

Nina forgot about her indignance and chuckled and grabbed at her toes, and Ziva sighed, unbuckled the strap and plucked Nina up and out of the carrier. She stood up and turned to face Tony, who still had not said a word.

"Say something. Please." Ziva finally said .

Tony blinked, and then smirked. "You first." he said.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

AN: Thanks to those still reading and reviewing. Both are greatly appreciated :)

He was angry. Of course he was angry, he had every right to be. " She called Norway the last time. " Ziva blurted out. "It seems she has a fondness for Scandinavia." she said.

Tony shook his head . "What?" he asked .

Ziva walked over to the sofa, and sat down, and Nina put her head down on Ziva's shoulder and yawned. " The last time she took my phone, she called Norway. " she explained.

Tony remained standing. " So that's why you invited me here? To tell me you had a baby?" he asked, his voice thick and heavy with anger and emotion. "Well.. Congratulations." he said .

Ziva stood up to follow when he moved past them towards the hallway. "Wait a minute, please. " she said.

"Why? So you can fill me in on the details of how it happened? I'll pass, thanks. " Tony said and headed for the coat rack.

" You already know how it happened. " Ziva said.

Tony turned around. "Don't. " he warned her. " We used protection every single time. Every single time. " he said .

Ziva nodded. "I remember, Obviously, one of those times, the protection failed. " she said. "I understand that you are furious. And if you do not want anything to do with.."

"Don't you dare say that to me." he warned her. " You know how much I want a family, and how much I wanted it to happen with you."

"That is not what I was going to say. " Ziva interrupted, her voice trembling. Nina clutched at her shoulder and whimpered a little,hearing the raised voices and feeling the tension in the air, and Ziva put her hand on Nina's back and rubbed it gently. " I was going to say if you do not want anything to do with me, I understand that. But please do not take it out on her. Or yourself." she said carefully.. "I will agree to whatever you ask. If you would like a DNA test, that is fine. " she continued. " You are listed as her father on the birth certificate, but if you.. "

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tony spat out before she could finish.

"I have no excuses to give you. " she sighed. " Or any reasons that make sense. I did not expect to be pregnant. I never expected that. " she said. "And when I found out I was, I did not know if I deserved to be. " she admitted. " I did not know if I had it inside me to love a child the way they should be loved, the way every child deserves to be loved. I thought perhaps it would be for the best if I.." she stopped, unable to voice the thought aloud. "My Aunts would not hear of it, though. And I believe now that I really just wanted to hear someone say that they thought I could do it. Because I did not believe it myself. What is that word? Assurance?" she asked.

"Reassurance. " Tony corrected .

Ziva nodded." after I spoke with Shmeil.."

"Shmeil? Shmeil knew about this?" he snapped

"Yes. " she nodded. "And please do not blame him for it. He told me I was being terribly unfair to you, and he was right. " she said tearfully, and Nina's whimpering grew louder. Ziva bounced her up and down a bit and walked back and forth, humming a little as she did. " It is no one's fault but mine." she said. "And I will not ask you for forgiveness . " she continued. "I will only ask that you do not take your anger out on her" she finished and smoothed her hand over Nina's back.

If anyone had bothered to ask him what he thought might happen today, Tony would have probably picked winning the Nobel prize or being chosen as the next James Bond over what just actually happened. He was a father. A Father. She had no reason to lie about it, at least none that he could think of right now, but he wasn't exactly capable of clear, rational thought at the moment. A FATHER."Who else knows about this?" he asked.

" My Aunts. Nettie and Adina." Ziva explained.

Tony nodded. "And what's his name with the suit...the guy you were with last night. Does he know?" he asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. He is my attorney. That is why I told him. " she explained.

" So...you weren't planning to tell me otherwise? It's only because your boyfriend advised you to do it?" he snarled at her in a loud, angry voice and Nina began to cry in earnest now.

"Shhhh...malach. " Ziva said and walked into the living room. Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead. Great. Nothing like reacting like a bully. He had every right to be angry. But he didn't mean to make the kid cry. And didn't that sound terrific? The kid. Like she was some random other person's kid instead of his. Of course, he couldn't be absolutely sure about that without a DNA test. But he had no desire to do that at the moment. Ziva had no reason to lie to him about this. Why would she want to put herself through this if it weren't true?

Tony found Ziva on the sofa, consoling the kid as she shuddered against her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.." he said

"It is fine. " Ziva said without looking up. " You have every right to be angry with me. But do not think I will let you take it out on her. I will not." she looked up, and he saw the Ninja he remembered in her eyes.

Tony nodded. " So why did you decide to tell me now?" he asked. He sat on the far end of the sofa, out of striking distance.

"I felt it was long past the time to let you know. And to be honest, I asked you here to tell you because I felt the need to protect myself." Ziva said. " You are going to be married, and I'm sure that your income plus hers is much more than what I earn. Family court judges usually favor two parent homes if possible. That is two balls against me. " she said.

"Strikes. " Tony corrected automatically . " Wait..so you think that I would try to take her from you?" he asked.

Ziva shrugged. " You and I are...well, we are not much of anything anymore. " she said sadly. "You do not owe me anything, and I am in your debt, and always will be. " she continued. " Taking Nina away from me would be a..."

"Her name is Nina?" he cut in.

Ziva nodded. " I have made a copy of her birth certificate. You will need it if you want to order a DNA test to prove paternity." she explained.

Tony narrowed his eyes."Did your lawyer tell you that?" he asked and Ziva nodded. Nina was quiet again now, with just the occasional shudder a reminder of her tears. "Could I hold her? Just for a second. If she cries, I'll give her right back. " he said.

Ziva nodded and stood up to walk towards him. He held out his arms and Nina picked up her head, her bottom lip trembling again as Ziva handed her over.

"Shhh, my love. It is all right. " Ziva whispered as Nina began to cry again. Tony wasn't sure what to do, she was smaller and lighter than he expected, and he moved to give her back to Ziva, but she shook her head.

"No. You two must get to know each other." Ziva said and put her hand on Nina's head to soothe her. " Say something to her. Let her get to know the sound of your voice. She will figure out who you are soon enough." she told Tony. " Hold her like this. " she suggested and folded her arms. " She likes to see faces. " she explained.

Tony blinked and then nodded and did as Ziva suggested. Nina hiccuped, her little face still streaked with tears and she blinked her big eyes and studied Tony's face intently. He felt a tug inside, an ache in his throat as he looked at that little face, and into those eyes that were so much like his own. He smiled as she continued to study his face, her little brow furrowed, and he saw Ziva in her expression.

And when she finally smiled at him and then made a little laughing sound and clasped her little hands together over her belly, his heart flew out of his chest and into those tiny hands, and he let it go without regret. He laughed and realized his eyes were wet, and he looked up at Ziva, who had tears in her eyes, too. She smiled though, and nodded her head.

" Talk to her. Let her hear your voice. " Ziva urged. "I will leave you two alone if you.. " she said and started to get up.

"No. Stay. " Tony said quickly. "I don't want her to panic if she looks around and doesn't see you." he said.

Ziva nodded, and sat down again a short distance away.

"So. " Tony began and Nina looked up at him expectantly."Wow, that was a little awkward, right?" he asked. "I mean, I saw Three Men and a Baby, so I know that yelling is not a good idea. . How's this voice? Good?" he asked and smoothed his thumb across her chubby cheek. She made a little 'aaahhh' noise and smiled . "I'm sorry if the yelling scared you. "he continued. " I won't do that again. Promise" he said and Nina wrapped her hand around his index finger and held on tightly. "How old is she?" he asked Ziva, his eyes still on Nina's delighted little face.

"She will be 6 months old on the 18th of November. " Ziva explained and before Tony could begin counting backwards, Ziva leaned forward and picked up an envelope. "Her birth certificate." she explained and held it out to him.

Tony nodded. "My hands are full. " he said and Ziva opened the envelope.

" It's okay. " he said. " I'm not looking for proof. Honestly. I believe you. " he said. "So her birthday is May 18th.." he added and Ziva nodded.

" Was she born here in the States?" Tony asked .

"Yes. In Mt Sinai Hospital. It's in NY .." she explained. "On West 98th Street. "

Tony nodded. "I know. I was born there, too. " he added.

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "I did not know..I mean.. I did not.." she stammered.

"I know you didn't. " Tony said and turned his attention back to Nina, who blinked sleepy eyes at him. Tony smirked. " Five minutes, and bored with me already. It's okay. I'm used to it. " he bit back what he planned to say next. Ziva hadn't grown bored, she just never felt the way he did. Not the same thing at all, really.

"I do not think it is you. " Ziva said anxiously. " It is nearly time for her nap. " she said .

Tony glanced at her briefly. "I was kidding. " he said and realized how difficult this must be for her, too.

"Oh. Of course. " Ziva nodded.. "Would you like to put her down?" she asked and now Tony nodded.

"This way. " she said and got to her feet. Tony followed her over to the stairs, walking slowly and carefully, and he smiled when Nina snored loudly through her tiny nose.

" She does that all the time. "Ziva informed him without turning around. " I do not know where she gets it from." she added .

Tony laughed softly. " Yeah, that's a total mystery." he said quietly.

Ziva reached the top of the stairs and turned around on the landing. " Was that sarcasm?" she asked.

"Absolutely not. " Tony said and stepped up next to her.

She narrowed her eyes briefly and then turned back around. He trailed after her, deliberately not looking at her epic ass, and focused on her hair instead. It was much longer now, down past the center of her back, wild and curly he stood close enough to her, the scent of honey and almonds lingered. But of course, he would not stand close enough. He had no right to.

He tried not to think about unfair all of this was, to have a taste of what you wanted most and then to be told you can't have it anymore, and that you never really did. Instead, he intended to concentrate on what he did have. A child. His and Ziva's child. How much would he have given to know that was possible six months ago? Everything. So it would be enough now, more than he could have hoped for. He thought about that old movie line of not asking for the moon when you have the stars. He wasn't Bette Davis, but the little scrap of life drooling and snoring in his arms; himself and Ziva in one person, that was the stars.

He followed her into a room painted soft green and pale yellow, with stars on the ceiling and a tall,stuffed giraffe in one corner,standing watch over a small menagerie of other stuffed animal friends.

"Pretty," he said as Ziva flicked on the light.

"Thank you," she said.

"Did you know you were having a girl?" he wondered .

Ziva shook her head. "No. So we decided on green and yellow instead of pink and blue. " she explained."I do not think I would have liked pink and blue, anyway." she admitted.

Tony nodded and walked over to the crib. "How long will she sleep?" he asked and set her down carefully ."On her back?" he asked .

Ziva nodded. "Yes. " she said and took away the pillows. "She usually sleeps for about an hour or so. She is a very good sleeper." she added. "I expect that she gets that from you. I have never been a very good sleeper." she said .

Tony nodded. "I remember. And you're right. When I put my mind to it, I am a helluva sleeper." he said.

Ziva leaned over the crib and smoothed Nina's hair off her forehead. " I believe she gets many things from you." she said.

Tony leaned over the crib and touched Nina's cheek . " I'd like to hear what you think she gets from me. If you'd like to tell me." he said.

Ziva looked surprised and then smiled. " I would, yes. But not in here." she whispered and put her finger up to her lips.. She picked up the baby monitor and Tony took another look at the beautiful child sleeping in the crib before he followed Ziva out of the room.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"So..." Tony began as he followed Ziva down the stairs. " I'm going to assume this big house isn't just for you and Nina.." he said .

Ziva nodded. "My Aunts Nettie and Adina live here with us. " she said. " I could not have done any of this without their help." she added and stepped down off the last stair.

"What happened to the house in Israel?" Tony asked .

Ziva turned around. "I sold it. " she said.

" The groves, too?" he asked

Ziva nodded. "Yes. The land, too. " she said. " I used the money from the sale of the house and the property for a down payment on this house." she explained.

"So...you won't be going back to Israel.." Tony began.

Ziva shook her head. "No. I will not. Perhaps for a visit some day. But my family and my life are here now. This is my home." she said

Tony nodded . "Considering what's been happening there lately, it's probably for the best." he said. "All of your important people are safe?" he added.

Ziva smiled slightly and nodded. " Yes, thank you. Actually all of my important people are here. Except for Shmeil who still comes and goes, even at his age." she said .

Tony smiled slightly back. "So I've heard. " he said and stepped down off the last stair. "You should probably know this... Shmeil and my Father and Mc Gee..they've been..." he began and Ziva raised her eyebrows. " Well, plotting would be the word, I guess. " Tony smirked. " I didn't know anything about it until last night, and I didn't hear the full story until this morning. " he explained .

Ziva nodded "I am sure. Your father's wife...she told me that she and your father were aware that I was going to be there, and they did not tell you. I am sorry about that. " she said and then turned towards the kitchen. " I am going to make some tea, would you like some?" she asked and Tony hesitated for a minute before following her.

"Nice. " he announced as he looked around the kitchen, and it was, right down to the flowerpots on the window sill. She filled up a tea kettle and set it on the stove.

" I have Oolong and Darjeerling and Aunt Nettie's Lipton." she announced and opened the cabinet. "Or coffee, if you prefer.." she added.

" Nothing, thanks." Tony said and examined the pictures on the refrigerator. He recognized Nettie, and the blonde woman must be Adina. With a very pregnant, very beautiful Ziva standing between them. "When was this taken?" he asked.

Ziva walked over to see what he was pointing to. " Oh. A little while before Nina was born. In the backyard. " she explained. " We had a little party for the neighbors, with the hamburgers and hot dogs on the fire." she said.

"A barbecue. " Tony said .

" Yes." Ziva agreed.

" You look beautiful there. " Tony said matter of factly, without looking at her.

" Thank you.I did not feel very beautiful. " Ziva admitted, as the tea kettle began to whistle. She walked over to the stove to turn it off.

" So how was it?' Tony asked.

"The party? It was very nice. A lot of the neighbors came, and we had food for a week." Ziva said.

"No. I meant being pregnant..how was it?" he asked

He watched her unwrap a tea bag. "Oh." she said " I do not have anything to compare it to, actually. It was not like anything I have ever experienced before." she said and poured hot water into a mug. A World's Best Mommy mug, of all things. She saw where he was looking and her face turned pink. " Adina bought me this for Mother's day. But she would not let me use it until after Nina was born." she explained .

" So who was with you when she was born?" Tony asked.

" Nettie and Adina were in the waiting room. And Shmeil came later." Ziva explained.

Tony frowned. "So no one was in the delivery room with you?" he asked.

"My Doctor...and Two Nurses, perhaps three." she said.

"So you didn't do the whole Lamaze thing?" he asked.

"I did. Adina and Nettie came with me to the classes, but I did not think either of them really wanted to be in the delivery room with me. They would have done it for me if I asked, I am sure. But Adina is very squeamish, and throws up at the sight of blood." she explained. "And Nettie does not think outsiders belong in the delivery room. She says that everyone does not need to see your business, It is bad enough the Doctor has to be 'down there'." she air quoted and Tony's lips twitched. "She is old fashioned." she added .

Tony nodded. "I'm sorry that you went through that alone." he said quietly.

Ziva's face turned pale. " I was not alone. It was fine. I am sorry that I did not have the courage to tell you about any of this until now." she said. "I am sorry that you missed out on her life until now. I will do what I can to make up for that. I have pictures , I wanted to tell you about the parts of you I see in her. I am a bit forgetful these days..I am sorry." Ziva knew she was babbling, but couldn't quite stop herself.

"Enough apologies for now." Tony cut in gently. "Tell me about Nina." he said.

Ziva's features grew soft and wistful, her eyes shining, and Tony's breath caught in his throat for a moment.

"On second thought..I could use a glass of water if you..." he began.

"Of course. " Ziva said and walked over to the refrigerator, close to where he was standing, and the familiar scent of honey and almonds came with her and he fought with himself not to remember, and to just continue to focus on the calm, almost friendly conversation they were having. He could not and would not think about anything but Nina, and how they were going to handle this.

"Tony." he heard her say, and looked up to find her studying him, a worried look on her face.

"Are you all right?" she asked and held up a glass of water. He took the glass from her hand and nodded.

"Yes. Thanks." he said and took a long drink.

" Perhaps you should sit .." she suggested ." I understand this is a lot to process, and you were not prepared for any of it." she said.

"I'm fine. " he insisted. "You said you had pictures?" he asked .

Ziva nodded. "Yes. In the living room." she said, her face still concerned.

He nodded. "Lead on." he said and Ziva frowned but walked into the living room, turning around once to make sure he was behind her.

"Here." she said and retrieved a photo album from the mantel. "Sit." she added before he could take it from her. She held it out of reach until he finally smirked and sat down. She took the water glass from his hand and gave him the photo album. "I will get you more water while you look at that. " she said.

" I'm fine. Sit, please." he insisted .

Ziva hesitated for a moment and then sat down. Not next to him, but a short distance away. He opened up the book to a picture of Ziva, sitting in bed fully dressed, with those same two women, and a bunch of others, none of whom he recognized, sitting around the bed. There were balloons behind her, and she had a strange looking thing made of ribbons on her head. She was smiling though, looking as if she were about to burst into laughter.

" What's this?" he asked .

Ziva leaned over slightly for a look. "Oh. The Aunts gave me a baby shower.I asked Adina not to put that picture in there." she said sheepishly. "They told me the hat was tradition, so I could not say no." she added.

He nodded. " Right. But why are you in bed?" he wondered.

"I had a little issue with my blood pressure just before Nina was born." she explained.

"And they put you on bedrest?" he asked .

Ziva nodded. "Yes". she leaned over and flipped the page. "That is her first picture. " she said .

Tony sighed"What else aren't you telling me?" he asked.

Ziva looked up. "I believe I have told you everything." she said.

"Right. Except for the part about you on bedrest." he nodded.

"I did not think it was important. That had more to do with me than with Nina. " she said. "You said you wanted to hear about her." she reminded him and pointed to the picture. "Adina took that one, it is a bit blurry. She said she could not hold the camera still because the sight of blood made her dizzy." she chuckled and shook her head.

Tony raised an eyebrow. " But she's all cleaned up..." he said.

Ziva nodded. "The sight of the blood on the sheets in the laundry cart in the hallway was too much for her." she said .

Tony laughed . " I can see why having her in the delivery room might not have been the best idea." he said and studied the picture of the tiny person wrapped up like a pink burrito.

"She was not a very good sleeper the first few days." Ziva offered. " She cried all the time. All day, and all night. " she sighed. " I could not seem to do anything to make her stop." she added. "After two days, I took her to the Doctor, and of course she did not cry the entire time she was he told me that there are some babies who have periods where they will just cry and cry and cry, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Apparently, Nina had hers very early." she said. "Because after a week, she stopped. It may sound foolish, and none of the books I have read mentioned it, but it felt as if she just needed time to get used to us." she said.

"It doesn't sound foolish. " Tony said. " So she's been a good sleeper since then?" he asked and Ziva nodded. "She sleeps through the night?" he asked.

Ziva nodded again."Most of the time. " she said. "Every now and then, when she has not had enough to eat...Sometimes she falls asleep in the middle of a feeding, and I know she will usually wake up in the night when that happens." she explained. "But once she is fed, and hears a little bit of soft music, she is fine." she added.

"Oh, like lullabies or something?" Tony asked and idly flipped the page. He smiled at a picture of Nina in a little bathtub,her hair full of bubbles.

"Actually, no." Ziva said .

Tony looked up and saw the sheepish grin on Ziva's face.. "She likes Frank Sinatra." she said.

Tony laughed out loud. "What?" he squeaked.

" She likes Frank Sinatra. " Ziva repeated. "That first week, when she would not stop crying, I tried one of those cd's of classical music for babies, and she screamed louder. " she said. " And when she stopped crying all the time I did not need to try anything else. She was so exhausted from all the sleep she missed during the crying that she slept a lot. To catch up, I suppose." she explained. "But not long ago, she had a night where nothing I did seemed to work. She was not hungry or wet or poopy, she did not want me to walk her, or sing to her. So I thought I would try the cd again. " she continued. " But it was dark, and instead of picking up the remote for the CD player, I picked up the remote for Nettie's special radio. It has channels for everything, and she likes to listen to the channel about Israel. But it seems they also have a channel for Frank Sinatra. Nettie LOVES Frank Sinatra. " she said. "And when I turned on the radio, the Frank Sinatra channel was on. I do not remember what song it was, but it went something like.." she hummed a bit.

Tony nodded. "I believe that one is called Dream." he said.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. The words said Dream." she nodded. " I thought it was perhaps because the music was soft, and his voice was so soothing. But apparently, the song does not matter. Because when that song ended, and another one began, I tried to switch the channel and she started to cry again. . " she said. " Nettie thinks it is because she has it on during the day, and Nina has somehow grown used to the sound of his voice. " she said.

"That makes sense." Tony said .

Ziva shrugged. " Or perhaps she inherited her musical taste from you. Along with other things." she said.

"Yes, those things you keep mentioning." Tony replied and turned his attention back to the photo album. It was too easy to look at her, and imagine and wish for things that could never be.

"When she laughs, it is just the way you laugh." Ziva began. "Her belly shakes the way...well, you do not have a belly any more..."she shook her head.

"Thank you for noticing." Tony cut in.

"And her eyes crunkle up in the corners when she is happy, just like yours. Her eyes are so very much like yours. She even has your eyelashes." Ziva continued." And she is very grumpy in the morning, just the way you are. And her hair sticks up all over her head just the same way yours..." she leaned over and flipped through the pages. "See? Like this." she tapped her finger over the image of Nina, sleepy eyed and frowning, her dark honey colored curls a tangled mess.

Tony laughed. " She gets that hair from you, though." he said .

Ziva nodded. "But the color is much closer to yours than to mine.." she said.

Tony nodded."So does she stay grumpy until her first cup of coffee like me?" he asked .

Ziva laughed. "Actually, she is fine once she is up and she gets a kiss and then a bottle. So I guess that is her cup of coffee." she said.

"And then? What does she do during the day? Are you with her most of the time" he asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. I work from home as often as I can, except for the occasional fundraiser, or if they ask me to speak or travel somewhere." she said.

"And the Aunts watch her then?"he asked and Ziva nodded. "Does that happen often?" he wondered.

"I do not know what you consider to be often. " Ziva said. "But I am usually here with Nina at least 4 days a week. "

"I'm not accusing you of anything. " he countered. "I'm just curious about how all this works. " he said.

"It has worked just fine so far. I suppose things will change now, but.. "Ziva began.

"Not necessarily. " Tony countered. " At least...not for awhile. " he amended. "It isn't just myself involved here." he said.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. Your fiance will no doubt want some say in this." she said.

Tony realized he hadn't even considered Faith and her opinion on this, although he already had some idea what that opinion might be. They'd discussed children, and Faith told him on more than one occasion that she'd already had 3, and had no desire to have any more. He understood that, of course. But it didn't necessarily make him happy. Especially since Faith's kids couldn't stand him.

"Actually, I was referring to Nina. But you're right. This effects Faith, too. " he said. Ziva wasn't certain what to say about that, so she kept silent and nodded. "I'd like to have my Dad and Linda meet her first, if that's all right. " Tony offered .

Ziva nodded. "Of course. That is fine." she said. "If they are free today.." she began.

"No. I think one new person at a time is enough for her today. And I'd like to keep her...this to just family now...Just for today. " he said. "Maybe next Sunday.." Tony said. " If that's all right.." he said. " I could bring them up here next Sunday." he added.

" They can come for dinner. " Ziva said. " I invited Nettie's Mahjong partner Louis over for Sunday dinner and. "

"Oh. Well maybe we should make it another time, then. " Tony said.

Ziva's face fell, "All right. If you wish. I just thought it would be good chance for everyone to meet each other." she said and looked at her hands. "I know that this was the last thing you ever expected..." she said. "But I would like Nina's family to know each other. But if you do not want that, they can always.."

"I'd like that, too. " Tony interrupted quietly. "I just wasn't sure if you would." he said and she looked up and smiled.

"It is strange, all this agreeing. " she said.

Tony's mouth twisted into an ironic little smile. "I know. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it." he said. "But I'll try. For Nina." he added.

"I would like to invite one more person. " Ziva said. "But only if you say it is all right. " she began.

Tony frowned "Let me guess: Your lawyer?" he asked .

Ziva hesitated and then frowned. "No. That is not who I was thinking of, but if you think it would be a good idea I.." she said.

Tony waved his hand. "Forget I mentioned it. Who were you thinking of?" he wondered.

"Mc Gee." Ziva replied.

Tony grinned slowly. " That's a great idea. " he said.

" I have missed him very much." she said softly. "We have spoken by email, but I would like to see him again. And for him to meet Nina. " she added.

Tony nodded. "I'd like that, too. " he said.

"Good. So I will ask him. " she confirmed just as the baby monitor crackled with the sound of Nina's cries, and Ziva glanced at the clock on the mantel.

"Only half an hour this time." Tony said as they both got to their feet.

Ziva shrugged. "She wakes up when she feels like it. Another thing she gets from you." she said and walked past him towards the stairs.

Tony smirked and followed her. "I'm a good sleeper. A helluva sleeper. Nothing wrong with that!" he called up the stairs. She was already at the top and he moved quickly to catch up with her. He followed her to Nina's room and came to a stop when Ziva remained in the open doorway. Nina had stopped crying now, and was on her stomach, holding herself up by her hands, apparently fascinated by something.

"How did she end up on her stomach? " Tony hissed.

"She has been rolling over for about a month now. But only one way." she explained. "She cannot go from her tummy to her back I think she is looking at herself. The music box in her crib has a mirror on it. Is that what you are doing, malach?" she cooed.

Tony bit back a laugh. It was very sweet, of course. But just about the last thing he ever expected from Ziva David. Cooing. Although, Nina was certainly coo worthy. Even with her hair sticking straight up and a little bit of drool on her chin. Her mother's voice caught Nina's attention and she looked over to the doorway and smiled, showing off the dimple in her cheek.

Tony felt his heart and throat constrict with that smile..He'd always listened with half an ear to those stories his friends with kids told him, about the way you fall in love with them at first sight, and how you had to experience it to know what if felt like. Well he knew what it felt like now. Like he'd walk through fire for that little face. Gladly.

"Are you happy to see us, my darling? Is that why you are smiling?" Ziva asked and walked over to the crib. "Or are you happy because you saw your beautiful face?" she wondered and Nina bounced on her hands a little and then sat back and held up her arms. Ziva glanced over her shoulder at Tony, who was still standing in the doorway.

"Come in. I think it would be a good idea for her Father to take her out of here before she falls asleep again.." Ziva she said and then turned her attention back to Nina. "Do you not think so, my darling? After all, you two have just met today, and you need to become better accquainted." she said and felt Tony beside her without looking up, thanks to the familiar scent of his cologne.

"You know.." he leaned over the crib and smiled at the curious little face regarding him intently, big green eyes peering from out from beneath that wild mop of honey curls, chubby cheeks flushed pink from sleep. " I don't think we've been formally introduced. We did meet downstairs before, though. Remember?" he reminded her and reached down to smooth the tangled curls off her face. "Your Mom told me your name is Nina. My name is Tony. But you can call me Dad. Or Daddy. Or Papa or Pop.. Or Dada or Abba. Any of the above." he said. "I'm not sure about Father, it seems a litte formal for my taste. But if you're okay with that one, so am I." he continued.

"This is the man I have told you about, malach. " Ziva said. " The story about the dolly, remember?" she said.

Nina rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. "She will fall asleep again if she stays in this crib much longer." Ziva said .

Tony frowned. "Maybe she's still tired?" he said .

Ziva shrugged "Maybe. But I think she is just a little slow to wake up. I do not know where she gets that from." she said pointedly .

Tony smirked. " Not funny, Mommy. " he said and reached down to pick up a sleepy eyed Nina. She studied his face carefully from her perch at his shoulder, her little brow furrowed, rosebud mouth pursed thoughtfully.

"She is inspecting you." Ziva whispered.

" So I see. Pretty stealthy. I wonder who she gets that from?" he asked. Nina tilted her head sideways, and then reached up with one hand to pull on Tony's earlobe. He frowned as Nina moved her head towards his ear, peering inside it, and Ziva bit back a laugh. " I heard that." Tony said. "And I fail to see what's funny." he continued as Nina pulled his earlobe again and continued to study the inside of his ear. " She's obviously looking for an earwig. I wonder who she gets that from?"he asked. Nina finished her inspection of his ear and decided his nose was next. She grabbed hold of it with one hand and tugged, as if testing to see if it would come off. She seemed satisfied when it stayed put,and she patted his cheek and babbled.

"I think that is her way of saying you passed inspection" Ziva offered.

"Let's hope so." Tony replied .

"It is already past time for her lunch. Would you like to feed her?" Ziva asked.

Tony paused. "Are you doing the whole breast feeding thing?" he asked and Ziva nodded.

"So..um ..how would I feed her, then? Technically speaking." he added .

Ziva laughed. "Come. I will show you." she said and walked out the door.

Nina babbled again. "Try not to damage the merchandise, kid. You never know when Daddy might need those again." Tony said after she pulled on his lips with both hands."And while I have you here, explain to me how the whole breast feeding thing works. Is it as much fun as it looks?" he wondered as they walked out of the room.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"And then I put it in one of these bags,label it, and put it in the freezer. " Ziva was explaining how the breast milk Nina was currently sucking up like a vacuum got from her breast to the bottle, and Tony had to admit, it was pretty impressive. He was well accquainted with the actual delivery system, of course, and he'd heard talk about breast pumps before, but had never actually seen one in person. Frankly, it looked like it might hurt, but Ziva insisted that it didn't.

When he let the angle slip a little, Nina put her hand over his on the bottle and he smirked at her little face. " Okay. I get the hint." he said and tilted the bottle a bit higher. Nina resumed her enthusiatic drinking. "So..do you only do this with the bottle? Or do you sometimes use the original delivery system?" he asked.

Ziva furrowed her brow for a moment, and then the light bulb apparently went on, because she raised an eyebrow suspiciously, in a way that was very, very familiar. " Actually, we only use the bottle when it is difficult or awkward to use the original container. " she said.

"Like now, for example?" Tony countered .

Ziva smirked. "Yes. Like now. " she agreed.

"So does she eat actual food yet, or just the milk?" he asked.

"She eats cereal and fruit and vegetables. The Doctor says she has a very good appetite, and is ahead of the curve in that department. " Ziva replied.

Tony grinned. "Definitely a DiNozzo trait." he said .

Ziva nodded."But it does not show on you any more." she said .

Tony looked slightly sheepish. " I got tired of not being able to keep up with Mc Gee." he said. "I can finally outrun him again. Even with two bad knees. " he added.

Ziva smiled. "That is wonderful. " she said. "Not the part about your knees. " she added immediately.

Tony laughed. "I knew what you meant. Thanks." he said. "I still eat like a DiNozzo. I just pay for it later on the track or in the pool." he said .

Ziva smiled. " I am sure you can probably out run me these days. " she said.

He waved his hand. "I doubt it. Do you still run in the mornings?" he asked .

She nodded. "Except that most of the time these days, it is on the treadmill, while Nina watches Sesame Street. " she said .

Tony laughed. " That still counts. " he said . Nina's sucking sounds grew louder and more insistent, and Tony realized the bottle was empty and took it out of her mouth. "Do we have to burp her now?" he wondered and Nina let out a loud, long, rip roaring belch while his question was still hanging in mid air. He burst out laughing while Ziva's face turned red.

" Does that answer your question?" she asked. " Tali did the same thing when she was a baby. We used to have burping contests until Ima told us it was disgusting and forced us to stop." she remembered.

Tony chuckled. " Sorry. But I'm afraid that's a DiNozzo trait, too. My Father's Father; Nonno. He was the belching champion of Flatbush Avenue. The legend is he once belched so loud and long that it actually rolled down the street and into the sewer. All by itself. " he said.

Ziva smirked. " It appears it was destiny. Let us hope she grows out of it before she begins to date." she said.

" Date? Who said she's ever allowed to date?" Tony said and tickled the soles of Nina's feet. She snorted with laughter and Tony raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Ziva.

" I do not snort when I laugh. At least...not all of the time. However...Aunt Nettie laughs just like that." she said.

Tony nodded. " So did my mother." he said quietly.

Ziva smiled. "Did she?" she asked.

Tony nodded again and held onto Nina's foot. " It used to embarrass her like crazy, but she said she couldn't help it. It used make me and Pop laugh so hard that sometimes I wondered if she just kept doing it for that reason. To make us laugh."he said.

" You will have to tell Nina that story someday."Ziva said .

Tony nodded. " Does she get anything else to eat now?" he asked. "How do you know if she's still hungry or not?" he asked and held up the empty bottle.

Nina held out her hands towards it and Ziva pointed. "That is usually a good sign." she said. "When she has had enough, she pushes the bottle away. " she said and walked over to the refrigerator. Tony watched her take out a container of something orange, open it, and put it in the microwave. The microwave dinged, Ziva fetched a tiny spoon and a clean dishtowel and walked over to the table.

She handed the spoon and container to Tony and put the dishtowel over Nina like a blanket. "She has not yet mastered the art of eating neatly. " she explained .

Tony nodded. "Got it. " he said, more than a bit distracted by the scent of Ziva's hair as she leaned over Nina. She straightened up and moved away, but the scent lingered for a moment and he tried not to suck it all up in a gulp. He turned his focus and attention back to Nina,where it should stay. He looked inside the container and then sniffed the contents. "Squash?" he guessed .

Ziva nodded. "Correct. " she said. "Nettie makes it, and Nina seems to like it very much." she added .

Tony mused. "So I'm guessing the stuff in those little jars is a no go?" he asked.

"I have not tried those yet. "Ziva admitted. " Nettie insists that making the food for Nina ourselves is the best way, and I must admit that even though it seems a little indulgent, I think I agree with her. As I said, she is sometimes very old fashioned, but that is how she raised her children, and how we were raised.." she said. " I do not have any objection to the little jars, if that is what you and your fiancee choose to give her, though." she said. The fiancee. She had to keep mentioning her to keep herself focused. He was so close,and he looked and smelled so good, and he was being so understanding about all of this;so wonderful and loving with Nina, who sometimes did not do well with strangers, but seemed utterly fascinated and charmed by Tony.

Perhaps she could sense he was not really a stranger. Or perhaps she should just be honest with herself and admit that there would be very few people, tiny ones included, who could resist being fascinated and charmed by Tony Di Nozzo .Even in the subdued, still trying to soak all of this in mode he was in right now. If only she had been wiser and braver. Less selfish and more truthful with herself and with him. Someone else had been all those things, though, and she had to keep reminding herself that he was no longer hers, and he never would be again.

"Ziva?" she realized she must have looked completely foolish when she saw the expression on Tony's face. "Something wrong?" he asked

Ziva shook her head. "No, I am fine. I think I am just a bit hungry, that is all. " she fibbed and put her hand over her stomach. " I have been trying to lose 5 extra pounds for the last 3 months, but I cannot seem to do it.I always seem to be hungry these days. Would you like something to eat?" she opened the refrigerator and pretended to look inside.

"Maybe later. And I know you didn't ask me, but those 5 lbs suit you." Tony. said .

Ziva leaned backwards and peered around the refrigerator door. " Sorry?" she asked.

Tony shrugged. " Just my opinion of course. " he said and gave Nina a mouthful of squash. "Unless your Doctor suggested you lose them..." he said and looked up. Ziva shook her head and he shrugged again. "If my vote counts for anything, I say keep them. " he said.

Ziva nodded. " I will take that into consideration." she said and stood up straight again. Apparently he did not think Skinny Minnie needed 5 extra pounds, but she did. The Doctor had actually mentioned that the 5 extra lbs that remained of the 40 plus she had gained with Nina were perfectly normal, and that if she intended to continue to breast feed,she should have no problem losing them eventually. Still..it was strange for him to say something like that when the woman he planned to marry appeared to be twice her height and half her weight. And now, she really was hungry.

That was stupid. Her weight was none of his business, and he shouldn't have said he'd have to be really stupid or blind or both not to notice that she was different than the Ziva he remembered, and he wasn't just talking about 5 extra lbs. Frankly, he hadn't really noticed the extra weight,she looked as gorgeous as she always did ,perhaps a touch fuller in the face, but it suited her..

The Ziva-ness of Ziva was still there, but the edges were smoother, the impression softer, her demeanor lighter and less serious. He wanted to ask her how that happened, and why, but it was just one more thing that wasn't any of his business. He felt something push against his forearm and realized he'd been musing silently with a spoonful of squash in one hand, suspended in mid air. The push he felt against his forearm was Nina's foot and he laughed when he looked at her face and found her looking at him, mouth open expectantly.

"My apologies, Madam. Your main course is on the way." he said and aimed the spoon at her mouth. He laughed again when Nina smushed the squash around in her mouth, swallowed, licked her lips and poked at his arm with her foot again. " You know..this kid has possibilities." he said.

Ziva peered around the refrigerator door again. " So she has passed the DiNozzo inspection?" she asked .

Tony looked up at her. " Are you asking me if I believe I'm her father?" he asked .

Ziva stood up straight. " No. If you do not believe me, there is simple solution to that problem. I am not trying to convince you one way or the other." she said and stepped backwards to close the refrigerator door.

"I thought you were hungry." Tony said.

"I changed my mind." Ziva replied .

Tony smirked. "Right. I'm familiar with the concept." he said .Ziva looked up briefly and decided it would be best if she not reply.

He held up the empty container. " All done. " he announced. Ziva nodded and walked over to retrieve it.

"Can we not do this?" Tony asked suddenly.

Ziva turned around at the sink. "Do what?" she asked.

"This awkward, uncomfortable silence thing. " he explained .

"I do not know. " Ziva admitted. "But perhaps silence is better than anger. At least while Nina is in the room. " she said and turned back to the sink. Tony blinked and then looked over at Nina. Her face and hands were covered in squash and he smiled and began to clean her up with the dishtowel.

Ziva swallowed back the ache in her throat, and the tears behind her closed eyelids stayed there. He had every right to be angry, she had torn his heart to pieces and then stepped on it for good measure. And perhaps someday it would not hurt quite so much to be reminded of that, but right now, it burned like fire. She regained her composure, shut off the faucet and turned around.

"I don't want to be angry anymore. " Tony began. "It's a waste of time. " he continued. " I don't know if you and I can ever.." he shook his head. " I'm not sure if you and I can be the close friends we used to be. I'm not saying I wouldn't want that...it's just..I don't think it would be healthy for me. Or you,knowing what we know and where we've been.. " he said and the ache Ziva felt in her heart was like a living, breathing thing, but she nodded and forced a smile.

"I don't want to fight with you. " Tony continued. " I want what's best for Nina." he said and for not the first time today, he wondered what she was thinking. She was never easy to read, ever. But he'd gotten pretty good at it for awhile way back when. Now it seemed they were back to square one, and he had no idea why her bottom lip was trembling, in spite of her best efforts to disguise it with a smile.

Ziva nodded quickly and discreetly brushed away a tear. " That is what I want, too." she said quietly.

"Well great, then. We agree on something. That's a start." Tony said and Ziva wiped another tear away. "So...if we do argue.." he began

Ziva raised her eyes to his. " You mean..when we argue.." she said .

Tony smirked. "Correction. When we argue..." he agreed. " We don't do it in front of Nina." he finished.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. Civilized. " she said and stuck out her hand. He got up and walked over to shake her hand.

"For Nina. " he said as they shook hands.

Ziva had to agree in silence, because the touch of his hand had unexpectedly made her throat tight again, and Tony realized that the part of himself that he'd locked up had opened up wide again, all by itself, with more than a little help from Nina. And whether he was ready to admit it or not, her mother, too. The touch of her hand made his throat tight and he smiled quickly and released it.

He would have to be careful here, and tread lightly. He knew himself well enough to know that he wouldn't survive another heartbreak that involved Ziva. He had a new life with someone else,and all the wishing and hoping and thinking and praying in the world couldn't turn him into Dusty Springfield, and wouldn't make Ziva love him the way he wanted her to. The way he still wanted her to, if he were being honest with himself.

This had to be about Nina, and only about Nina, who picked that moment to let go another beauty of a belch that broke the tense silence between them and made them both laugh. Ziva walked over to the table just as Nina grabbed at her toes and then looked up at her mother and made a high squealing noise.

"She is proud of herself, I think. " Ziva sighed and shook her head.

"As she should be. " Tony insisted and walked over to join them. "You think every kid her age can belch like that?" he asked and put his hand on Nina's head. " He smoothed his hand over her messy curls and she looked up at him and beamed, grabbed her toes and squealed again for good measure. " She's happy. She's beautiful. As long as she's not still doing it by the time her sweet 16 rolls around, I think we're okay on this one, Mommy. " he said.

" Nettie and Adina say that I worry too much." Ziva admitted. " But sometimes, I do not think I worry enough. I never want her to suffer because I might make the wrong decision. " she said .

"You've always had good instincts. " Tony said. "And I'm pretty sure that you must have read every single book about parenting that you could get your hands on." he said and her red face confirmed his suspicions were correct. "Hopefully, you can lend me a few of them. " he added and she nodded.

" You love her. She loves you back. I don't know much about being a parent...yet.." he paused and hoped she would smile. She did, and he continued. "But I think you've got the most important part covered." he said.

"I hope so." Ziva said. "I also hope you know that I would like you to be part of the process of making decisions for her. If that is all right, and you have the time. I know how difficult it is for you to get away and I would not.."

Tony held up his hand . "Whatever she needs. Whenever. " he said .

Ziva looked relieved. "Thank you. " she said.

" It goes both ways. You didn't have to ever tell me about her, and you did. So thank you for that." he answered. He hesitated, unsure about his next question, but then decided to just forge ahead with it. " I'd like to help out financially. " he said. " If you won't let me help with things around here, maybe we could work out something else. Like her college fund or something. You must have a lot on your plate with the mortgage and taxes and Doctor bills.." he said.

"That is very generous of you. " Ziva said. "I will be fine with whatever you decide. Perhaps..." she began. " Perhaps you could have your fiancee draw up some paperwork..Just to ensure that the money would only be used for Nina. " she added.

Tony frowned. " If you think it's necessary, I guess I could do that.." he said .He hadn't even considered the possibility that she might use the money for something other than Nina. It hadn't even entered his mind, and it wouldn't, even now.

"You think I don't trust you?" he asked suddenly.

" You have every reason not to," Ziva replied. "I have kept secrets and "

"You had my back for almost a decade," Tony cut in carefully. " When it comes to certain things, there still isn't anyone I trust more than you. Money is one of those things." he said. " Have your boyfriend draw up the paperwork and I'll sign it. " he added .

Ziva nodded. "Thank you." she said .

"Sure. Can we .." Tony began.

"Lalalalalalala LAAAAA!" Nina squealed, as if to remind them that she was still there, and she wanted some attention. Immediately.

Tony smirked. "Apparently, the subject makes her uncomfortable, too." he said. " I've been thinking about next Sunday..Can we talk about that instead?" he asked and the look of relief on Ziva's face told him he wasn't the only one who was happy to change the subject.

"Yes. Of course. Is there someone else you would like to invite?" Ziva asked and he was fairly certain she was referring to Faith.

"No." he said immediately. Faith would have to be dealt with separately. And carefully. She wasn't really great with surprises. "I 've been thinking about my Dad.I was wondering if I should give him a heads up about.." he smiled and put his hand on Nina's hair. "His granddaughter.." he continued and now Ziva smiled, too. " You know, before hand. I don't want him to keel over from shock." he said. "Knowing him, he may decide to jump on the Metro North and come up here today.." he added .

Ziva smiled. "I have an idea." she said. "Come." she urged with him with one hand"Bring Nina." she added and left the room.

Tony frowned and glanced down at Nina, who was trying her best to remove her socks . He chuckled and pulled the little socks back up . Nina pouted briefly,furrowed her brow and then resumed trying to remove them again.

Tony laughed and picked up the carrier. " You are your mother's daughter, princess." he decided and took off in search of Ziva.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

AN: Thanks to everyone still reading, reviewing and following. Including those brave guests who need 20 plus chapters to figure out they don't like the story and then write a lengthy negative review explaining why. Oh, dear. LOL.

"Ziva?" Tony called.

"I am back here!" she replied and he followed the sound of her voice towards a room at the back of the house. Meanwhile, Nina continued her attempt to remove her socks, grunting a little with the effort it took to reach her toes. Tony stood in the open doorway and looked around. "Wow. This is really nice." he said, and it was.

"Thank you." Ziva said. "It is not quite sure what it wants to be yet, I think. So for the moment, it is the place where we keep things that do not have another place yet. " she explained.

Tony nodded. "I can see that. " he said. The room had very little furniture, just a small desk and a chair or two,and it appeared it was being used mainly for storage at the moment. Boxes, a stroller, some random chairs,even a portable treadmill, but the lack of furniture and small bit of clutter couldn't detract from the beauty and warmth of the room, especially the far wall made of smooth, aged bricks in various shades of red. Or the fireplace composed of those same bricks, and it wasn't difficult to imagine it roaring on a crisp autumn day. Wood floors, exposed beams in the ceiling,and a large window that faced a backyard filled with grass and trees. A perfect spot to watch the seasons change.

"I am sorry about the mess." Ziva said quickly. " I put my laptop in here because I like the view, and things just began to collect. " she said. " You can put Nina down here. " she said and pointed to a spot on the floor next to the window. " She likes the view, too." she added. "Oh, Malach. " she said and pulled up Nina's socks just as she was about to finally get one of them off. Nina grunted and waved her arms up and down in frustration before she renewed her quest for sock domination . " She always tries to take them off, and I do not know why." she said.

Tony shrugged and set the carrier down. " Maybe just because they're there. Those socks are her Mount Everest." he said .

Ziva smirked. "Or perhaps she just likes to pull her socks off " she said.

"Or that." Tony acknowledged. He straightened up and looked around. "This room is really something." he said and walked over to the window. "I mean, the view, and that fireplace..the beamed ceiling.." he said .

Ziva nodded proudly. " I know. I think that is why it is taking so long to figure out what to do with it." she said. " The Real Estate agent told me that the man who designed and built this home used this room as a den. " she said " But I am not sure what that means. I googled it and a lot of pictures of men holding pipes wearing funny looking sweaters came up." she said .

Tony laughed. "That's funny. Because that's what I always think of when I hear that word. Ward Cleaver and Rob Petrie and Mike Brady. " he said.

Ziva frowned. "Friends of yours?" she asked .

Tony smirked. "You could say that, I guess. " he said. "Dens were a big deal in the 50s and 60s. Every Dad on TV had one.. None of those rooms were as nice as this one is, though. " he said. ."So what did you want to show me?" he asked.

"Oh. " Ziva remembered. "Do you know about Skype?" she asked .

Tony nodded. " Yes. Faith and I.." he began.."Her kids..They live with their fathers so she and ..I know about Skype." he finally said.

Ziva was not sure what to make of this latest bit of information. It seemed like he had not meant to reveal it, so it was probably best if she did not acknowledge it. And to be honest, she had no right to ask any questions about it, no matter how curious she might be. As long as it did not effect his relationship with Nina, it was none of her business. So she merely nodded and forced a smile. " Good. Do you think your father knows about Skype?" she wondered .

Tony paused, and then grinned. "It wouldn't surprise me. " he said and pulled the phone from his pocket. "I'll ask him. Hang on." he said and Ziva nodded and turned on the laptop. Kids..More than one and they lived with their fathers. Also more than one. Again, it was not her business, but it did sound like a complicated situation.

Senior and Linda were on their terrace, enjoying the sunshine, each knee deep in different sections of the Sunday Times when one of the phones on the small table between them began to vibrate. Senior looked up immediately. "That's mine." he said and put down the Business section. He found his phone underneath the Living section and grinned. "It's Tony." he said.

Linda looked up from Arts and Leisure. " Well don't just sit there admiring it darling. Answer it!" she laughed.

Senior nodded. "Right. Of course. Why am I nervous?" he wondered and answered the phone without waiting for her reply. "Tony?" Senior answered.

"Last time I checked." Tony replied and glanced down at Nina, who had one sock nearly all the way off. "After today, I'm not really sure about anything, though." he added and laughed when Nina triumphantly managed to get the tiny sock off her foot, only to discover it was now stuck on her hand like a mitten.

"Is that good or bad, Son? " Senior asked and wondered what he was laughing at.

Tony knelt down and took the sock off Nina's hand. She immediately started in on the remaining sock. " It's good Dad. And that's an understatement." he added.

"So you and Ziva worked things out? That's fabulous, son. Wonderful. Just what Linda and .." Linda dragged her chair closer and Senior put the phone on speaker.

"No." Tony cut in . "I mean..Ziva and I have worked things out.." he began. "But not in the way you .. Listen, Dad. Do you know if you have Skype on your computer?" he asked .

Senior frowned. " Of course I do. " he said . "Why?" he wondered .

Tony glanced up at nodded. "Because I have something to show you. Actually, Ziva and I have something to show you. Can you get on it now?" he asked .

Linda got to her feet. "I'll get it. " she said .

Senior smiled. "Thank you, sweetheart." he said and watched Linda go back inside." So you and Ziva..." Senior continued when she was gone.. "You said you two worked things out...but not really? I'm confused, son. What exactly does that mean? " he wondered.

" All will be explained shortly. " Tony said. " And by the way, are you two busy next Sunday? If you are, I'm gonna have to ask you to cancel whatever it is.." he said and paused when the scent of honey and almonds was close again.

"I will need his phone number." Ziva whispered over his shoulder and Tony turned his head sideways, even though he knew he shouldn't. Not when she was this close.

"Here's Ziva, Dad." he said and handed her the phone. "I'll put his phone number in." he added and moved away quickly.

Ziva straightened up and tried not to take the quick departure personally. "Hello Mr Di Nozzo." she said and noticed that Nina's feet were now bare, one tiny sock lying on the floor.

" Hello, sweetheart. How are you? How are things going? And what's the big mystery?" he wondered just as Linda reappeared, laptop in hand.

"I'll need the phone number. " Linda said .

"914-555-7836" Ziva spoke into the phone .

Linda nodded. "Got it. ":

"All set on this end." Tony announced .

Ziva turned around "I am going to hang up now, Mr Di Nozzo. But I will speak to you in a moment."she said.

"Wait a min.." Ziva hung up before Senior could finish his request and he put down the phone. "What the hell is going on?" he asked.

Linda shrugged. "We'll find out in a second or two.."she said and set the laptop down on the table. She sat down again and adjusted the screen .

Tony's face came into view. "Hey Dad. Hi Linda." he said and held up his hand. Ziva unbuckled Nina from the carrier and stayed just outside of view. " I'm glad both of you are sitting down. " he began. " This is probably the last thing you'll be expecting..I know it was the last thing I expected when I showed up here today.." he smiled. "And really, there's no way to prepare either of you for this, but Ziva came up with this idea, and I liked it. At least you'll have a little time to take it in.." he said and turned to look at Ziva. He pulled out the chair next to his and Ziva sat down with Nina in her arms. Senior's eyes widened and Linda leaned in closer.

" So...the reason why I asked you to cancel your plans for next Sunday.." Tony began.

Ziva held onto Nina's hands before she could pound them on the laptop keyboard. " I would like it very much if you could come up for dinner and meet Nina." Ziva said.

"Your granddaughter. " Tony added and watched Linda put her hand over her mouth. Senior still had not said a word, and Tony wasn't sure about that look on his face. "Dad?" he asked. " Are you all right?"

Senior nodded mutely and adjusted the screen for a better view of Nina. Ziva sat her up a little straighter, still holding onto the curious little hands and Nina leaned back against her mother and noticed the faces on the laptop screen.

Senior grinned. "Hello, darling.." he said and waved his fingers and Nina made some more happy noises and wriggled impatiently in Ziva's lap. She pulled one of her hands free and leaned forward and slapped it at the laptop screen. "Yayayayayaya YAAAA!" she squealed .

" Is that good or bad?" Senior asked Ziva .

She laughed. "Good. I think she likes the sound of your voice. " she said.

Senior grinned agin. " I'm your Nonno. But you can call me whatever you like. " Apparently, Nina approved of this idea, or perhaps it was just the sound of his voice, because she slapped at the screen again, grinned and showed her dimple.

"She's beautiful." Senior said. "And I can't decide who she looks like more. She has your eyes, Tony. Exactly. But the shape of her face, and that little chin. That's you, Ziva. " he said.

"Thank you." Ziva said.

" Linda, I know you already have a grandchild...and I wouldn't expect.." Tony began.

" Well I certainly would. " Linda cut in . "I would love it if your beautiful daughter would think of me as her Grandmother. " she said " She's absolutely gorgeous, you two." she declared ."And how about that fabulous head of hair?"

Tony smiled. " Thank you. " he said.

"Yes. Thank you. " Ziva said. "For that. And for accepting her without question." she added.

Senior frowned. " Did you think we wouldn't?" he asked.

"Ziva, she's the image of the two of you." Linda remarked. " I don't think either of you could deny her even if you wanted to." she said and laughed when Nina slapped the screen again.

Ziva reached for Nina's hand and held onto it again."But I do understand that all of this is very unexpected." she said. "And it would be perfectly reasonable for any of you to want proof. And if any of you do.."

" I can look at that little face and see all the proof I need. " Senior said. "Isn't that right, sweetheart? You know your Nonno when you see him, don't you?" he asked in a higher pitched tone than usual.

Tony smirked. "Dad, what's with the voice?. " he winced.

Senior waved his hand. " Never mind. I've waited a long time to be a PopPop. Too long. I'm entitled to act a little goofy, " he said. " Tony, you're a FATHER!" he exclaimed as if it just dawned on him.

Tony laughed. "I know. How weird does that sound?" he asked .

Senior grinned. "Not weird at all. Welcome to the club, son. " he said.

"Thanks." Tony replied. " I'm still a little iffy on the rules, but Ziva has some books she promised to loan me." he said and Senior laughed.

"And congratulations to you, Ziva. Motherhood looks lovely on you," Linda added.

Ziva smiled. "Thank you. I am enjoying it very much." she said.

"It shows, sweetheart." Senior offered. "I can't wait to meet my Princess in person. " he added.

" That's what I was hoping to hear. " Tony said.

"So you will come next Sunday?" Ziva asked. "I would have asked you to come today, but if you come next week, everyone will be here. " she explained. "I will make dinner." she added.

"That sounds lovely. " Linda said.

"Of course we'll be there." Senior said.

"Try and stop us." Linda added .

Tony laughed. "Great. " he said.

"You said everyone will be there..." Senior began. " Who is everyone, if you don't mind my asking?" he said.

Tony smirked. " Subtle, Dad. If you're talking about Faith, no, she won't be here." he said. " I told you we're taking some time away from each other, remember? I'll tell her when I feel the time is right." he said.

Senior nodded and squeezed Linda's hand under the table. He'd noticed Ziva's reaction to that remark, and he hoped his wife did, too. "Sounds like a plan. " Senior said.

"My two Aunts Adina and Nettie will be here, and I am hoping that Shmeil will be, as well. " Ziva said .

Senior grinned. " I assume you'll want to invite Gibbs and the rest of the crew, as well?" he asked. Ziva kept silent. That decision was up to Tony. If he wanted them here, she would ask them. If not, he could tell them the news if he wished.

"We're going to ask Tim to be here." Tony said,non committally. Frankly, he wasn't sure he even wanted to share this news with anyone else at NCIS.

Senior looked surprised, but then nodded. " Good. " he said.

"What time would you like us to be there, Ziva?" Linda wondered.

"Oh, anytime is fine."Ziva said. "We usually have Sunday dinner around 4. " she added.

"We will be there with bells on." Linda smiled.

" And this is just a guess, but I'm thinking you'll be here a lot earlier than 4.." Tony said .

Senior laughed. "I'd come right now if you gave the word. " he said .

Tony laughed. "I told Ziva you'd probably say that. " he said.

" Whatever time you like is fine. Nina is up early, and as result, so is everyone else." Ziva said.

" You might regret telling him that when he's on your doorstep at 5 in the morning, Ziva." Linda said .

Ziva smiled. " Whatever time you come is fine." she assured them.

" We'll see you then, I guess. " Tony said.

"I'll call you later, son. " Senior said. He figured there could be some things he was leaving out, things he may not want to discuss in front of Ziva.

Tony nodded. "Sure, Pop. Talk to you soon. Linda, try and keep him out of every toy store in town?" he asked.

Linda chuckled "I'll do what I can, but I'm not promising anything. Take care, you two. And goodbye darling Nina. Bye bye." she waggled her fingers.

Ziva picked up Nina's hand and waved it at the screen. "Say goodbye, malach." she urged and Nina snorted with delight and held up her other hand for Ziva to wave. She did, and after a brief debate with himself, Tony decided taking a picture was worth a possible ass kicking he might get later and got a couple of shots quickly with his phone.

"Bye bye my princess. " Senior said and waved at Nina . " Oh and I'll want a copy of that, Son." Senior said.

Ziva glanced sideways and narrowed her eyes for a moment. "So will I." she said and then turned her attention back to the screen.

"That went well.. Yes?" Ziva asked when the call ended.

" I think so. I'm sure I'll get the third degree later on, but it's okay." Tony said. "Are you up for another one of these with Mc Gee?" he wondered .

Ziva nodded. "Of course. While she is still in the mood to cooperate." she said and fussed with Nina's hair. " If you would like to tell Gibbs and everyone else I..."

"Let's just stick with Tim for now. " Tony interrupted and Ziva paused for a moment, and then nodded and decided not to pursue it any further. She could always ask Mc Gee about it, anyway. She watched as Tony sent Tim a text and waited for a response. It appeared much had changed since the last time she spoke with him at length, although even then, there were glimmers of unhappiness and restlessness about Gibbs and his rules. But that should not be an issue any longer, and she could not help but wonder what was.

"Hey Ziva, long time no... " Mc Gee's voice interrupted her musings. "Whoa. What the...Ziva? Tony?"

Ziva looked up and saw a wide eyed, red faced, slightly disheveled looking Tim Mc Gee looking back at her. She smiled. " Hello, Mc Gee. " she said. Nina had been quietly examining Ziva's earrings until she heard another voice in the room and turned around for a look at where it came from. Tim's eyes grew enormous and then so was the grin that spread across his face.

"I did say we had something to show you, Probie." Tony grinned.

" You weren't kidding. " Tim replied. " So, I would be correct in assuming that the child in Ziva's lap is that something? " he asked.

Ziva laughed. "Yes. That is correct." she said.

"Holy moley." Mc Gee said. "Seriously .HOLY MOLEY." he repeated and both Tony and Ziva laughed this time.

" We want you to come up and meet her in person, you up for that?" Tony asked .

Tim shook his head. "Sure..I just..How did this..I mean, I know how it happened. " he said sheepishly.

" That's very good, Timmy. I was hoping not to have to give you the birds and the bees speech. Again." Tony said.

Ziva poked him with an elbow. "Stop that. You cannot blame him for being surprised."she said .

Tim smiled at their interaction, so much like the old days. " I would love to come up and meet her in person. " he said. " Does this mean that you two.." he began.

" It means that we're doing what we think is best for Nina. " Tony explained. "Nothing more." he said

Tim furrowed his brow for a moment. "Oookay..." he replied hesitantly. "I'm not sure what that means.." he said.

"It means we're going to try to be civilized, Probie. To get along as best we can for her sake." Tony explained.

"Oh. Okay." Tim said warily. He smiled at Nina, who sat up in her mother's lap a bit to study him more closely.

"She's beautiful. " Tim decided. " Thankfully, she takes after you, Ziva." he added.

Tony smirked."I heard that Mc Gemcity. " he said. "And for your information, Nina takes after both of us. " he said.

"I like that name, by the way. " Tim said. "Really simple, but pretty. Nice." he said. " Hi Nina. " he leaned in a little closer and smiled.

" That's Uncle Probie, Nina." Tony said and pointed at the screen. "He's a little terrifying at first, but you'll get used to him. " he said. "Wait until you hear his stories about his reign as Elf Lord." he added

Ziva elbowed him again.. "Ow. What did you do,grow an extra bone in there?" Tony complained.

"No. You just have less flab than you used to. So it hurts more." Tim explained.

Ziva laughed. " Exactly. Thank you, Mc Gee. Say hello to Uncle Tim, Malach." Ziva suggested. Nina leaned back against her mother and regarded the face on the screen carefully before leaning forward again and slapping her hand on the screen. Tim flinched and both Tony and Ziva laughed.

" Is that good or bad?" Tim wondered.

" We can't be sure, Probie. But we think it's good. Sort of like her seal of approval." Tony explained .

Tim smiled. "Oh, good. " he looked and sounded relieved. "And I would love to meet her in person. " he said. "Just name the day." he added.

"Next Sunday. You can come for dinner. Tony's father and his wife will be here, and my Aunts and Shmeil. " Ziva explained.

Tim frowned. "Oh. That sounds like a family thing. I can come another time." he said.

"Yes, it's a family thing. That's why we want you to come. " Tony said. "You're family, Timmy. " he added.

"Yes. Please come, Tim." Ziva urged .

McGee smiled. " As long as I won't be intruding. I'd love to.." he said. " I'm not sure if I should ask this next question or not,.." he continued.

" Go ahead, Tim." Ziva said.

"Well.. I didn't hear you mention Gibbs or Abby or Ducky...I would have expected..Well..You know..." Tim said tentatively.

" I haven't decided how to tell them yet, Tim. Frankly, I'm not really sure if I even want to." Tony said .

Tim's smile faded." I kind of thought it might be something like that. I won't say a word. Promise." he said.

Tony nodded. " Thanks, Tim" he said. "I understand this kind of puts you in an awkward position, but if they do somehow find out and give you grief about it, feel free to throw me under the bus." he said

Tim nodded. "Sure. Any particular time you want me there?" he asked.

"Anytime is fine, Tim. Dinner will be around 4. " Ziva replied and then smiled. "I cannot wait to see you again. It has been too long." she said.

McGee laughed. "Same here. Way too long. " he said. "I'll see you all next Sunday." he added. " Bye bye Nina." he said.

Ziva did the hand wave thing with both Nina's hands again. "Say goodbye to Uncle Tim." she said and Nina snorted again when Tim made a funny face at her and waggled his fingers just before the image of his face disappeared .

"So. "Tony said after the call ended.

"So," Ziva agreed and nodded her head. " Is there anyone else you would like to call? Or someone else you would like to invite?" she wondered.

"You're going to have a house full of people already. I don't think you need any more."Tony replied and held out his arms, and Ziva handed over Nina.

" I do not mind. Actually, I am looking forward to a house filled with people. One or two more would not be a problem." Ziva said.

"Have you had a lot of people over since you moved in?" Tony asked as Ziva shut down the laptop.

" A few. " she said with a shrug. "The party with the meat in the backyard. " she began. "Nina has date plays with some of the other children in the neighborhood. The mothers come along with them, of course, and we usually have lunch. It is very nice." she admitted.

Tony nodded. The idea of play dates and ladies who lunch was so unlike the Ziva he knew he wasn't sure what to say, until his curiosity got the best of him. "And your friend the lawyer..does he come over on a regular basis?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. "

"I do not know what you consider a regular basis. But he has been here, yes. " she said. "I will have to get this room cleaned up before Sunday. " she added and got to her feet.

"Or you could just keep the door closed. " Tony suggested.

Ziva turned around and narrowed her eyes. "I have already done that on more than one occasion. But considering how many people will be here.." she began and walked over to the fireplace. She moved a couple of boxes aside, obviously searching for something, and Tony stood up with Nina in his arms to see what she was doing.

"Looking for something?" he asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. I know it is here somewhere.." she said and moved another box aside."Ah. Here it is." she said .

Tony leaned in for a closer look. " A 78 inch flat screen?" he squeaked

"Shmeil's house heating gift." Ziva said sheepishly. "It was still in the box the last time he came, and I do not want that to happen again. He had to watch his sports on Nina's little TV. " she said. "Do you think the cable company can hang it up for me?" she asked.

"I doubt it. " Tony said. "But if you ask me nicely, I might be persuaded to do it for you." he mused.

Ziva raised her eyebrows. " You?" she asked and the expression on her face must have been strange, because it made Nina laugh and kick her feet.

"Yes, me. " Tony said and shifted Nina to the spot next to his shoulder.

"I could not ask you to do that.." Ziva shook her head.

" You could. And you should." Tony insisted. "Of course, I will expect payment. " he said .

Ziva paused. "Payment?" she asked.

Tony nodded. " I hang your TV. You make me dinner. All of a sudden I'm hungry. " he said.

Ziva hesitated for just a moment. "All right. I am not sure what."

" That meal you made me in Israel...Do you remember?" he said. He shouldn't do this to himself, but he couldn't seem to help it. He never could where she was concerned. Besides, he was kind of hungry, and Ziva was an excellent cook.

Ziva nodded and then immediately looked down at her shoes." There were several, I think. " she said quietly.

"Right. But the one I remember the most was in the middle of the night.." he said .

Ziva looked up again. "Shakshouka" she remembered...

"_If you do that again, I may accidentally chop off your finger." Ziva said and resumed chopping ran his index finger down the side of her neck, from her earlobe to the curve of her shoulder._

_"I'll take my chances." he whispered next to her ear and tightened his arm around her waist. "What is this called again? " he asked and nibbled lightly on the shell of her ear._

_" Shakshouka." she replied and pressed herself back against him. It was very late, or very early depending on your point of view, and Tony's growling stomach was the only thing that forced them out of bed, the place they'd been for most of the day_

_"It smells great." he murmured "Almost as good as this little spot right behind your ear." he said and she closed her eyes and savored the moment as he nuzzled her ear,his beard providing just enough friction to make her skin tingle, ._

_"Tony. " she said softly."I need to get to the stove." she said and turned her face towards his, her hands full of chopped vegetables. He frowned for a moment, let her go, and then decided the distance between them was unbearable, and followed her to the stove. He put his hands on her hips, and leaned his chin on her shoulder._

_"I thought about stuff like this a lot, you know. " he admitted._

_Ziva turned her face towards his. "Shakshouka?" she asked and touched the tip of his nose with her finger._

_He smirked. "I'm not even sure I can pronounce it, never mind spell it. So, no I can't say it was ever on my list." he said and slid his hands down her hips to her thighs. "I meant being with you, like this. " he said ._

_"You had a list?" Ziva asked and bit her lip when one of his hands snaked up underneath her t-shirt and danced along the edge of her panties._

_"I still do." he said and tugged on her earlobe with his teeth. "Be prepared to eat fast." he warned her ._

_Ziva laughed. " I was not the one that complained about being hungry." she said and shut off the stove. She took the pot off the burner, covered it and turned around in his embrace. " I can put it in the oven to simmer." she suggested and wrapped herself around him. "Unless you are too hungry to wait..." she added._

_Tony laughed. " I am. But not for food. " he said and then shook his head. "Okay. That was corny. But heartfelt." he added._

_"Not to mention, effective." Ziva agreed and nuzzled her lips against his. " I thought about it, too. " she whispered and watched his eyes darken in a now familiar way. "But I could not have imagined it would ever be like this." she said and he was kissing her breathless before she could blink, and food was the last thing on either one of their minds..._

Tony shook off the memory and walked towards Ziva.. " I'll get the box unpacked, and you can decide where you want me to hang it." he said and handed over Nina.

Ziva frowned. "Oh. I had not thought of that..." she said and shifted Nina to her hip. " I suppose it could go somewhere in here?" she asked.

Tony sighed. " Baby steps. " he said and shook his head. "That TV in this room is like the American Dream. " he said ,

Ziva looked sheepish. "Oh. So does that mean yes?" she asked .

Tony lowered his gaze. "Yes. It means yes. Right on that wall. " he pointed to the far wall.

" Not above the fireplace?" Ziva asked .

Tony grinned. " Nope. Bad for the TV." he explained. "Besides that, it's better to have the TV at eye level." he added.

"Obviously you have researched this subject extensively. " Ziva said.

Tony nodded. " I have. I thought about actually getting one of these, but then I realized that it was almost half the square footage of my apartment." he said.

"Really?" Ziva asked.

"No. But it's close." he said.

Ziva nodded. "Oh. Well...perhaps after you are married.." she said.

Tony nodded quickly. "Right. " he said . " I'll probably need a screwdriver and maybe a hammer and some nails...I don't suppose you'd have any of those things .." he said.

"There is a tool box in the hall closet. I will get it for you." Ziva said.

"I'll just follow you and save you a trip." he countered and held out his arms for Nina. He followed Ziva into the hallway and she opened the closet door. "Can Nina stay with me?" Tony asked.

Ziva turned around in the open doorway. "You mean in your Apartment?" she asked, and Tony noticed her golden skin turn pale. He hadn't thought about that, but now that she mentioned it, it didn't sound like a bad idea at all. "

I meant while I hang the TV." he said and Ziva's relief was visible.

"Oh. Yes, of course." she said and stood on her toes to get the toolbox from the closet shelf.

" You thought I meant my Apartment...Would that be okay with you? Not right away, of course. But maybe someday for a weekend or something?" he asked and Ziva nodded in spite of the ache at the back of her throat.

"We will work something out." she said and turned around, tool box in hand.

"I won't take her from you. " Tony said as Ziva closed the closet door. "I would never do that. I promise." he said.

Ziva nodded. "Thank you." she said

" Don't thank me. " Tony said.."At least not until I get the TV thing done. " he added. He hadn't meant to frighten or upset her, and he obviously had, so he hoped she believed what he said. "Ziva. " he said and impulsively put his hand on her cheek for the briefest of moments. "No one will take her from you. Including me." he said and she nodded again, but was still clearly shaken by his remark.

"Lalalalala LAAAAAAA." Nina said in a tone of voice that implied it must have some secret, very important meaning. Ziva reached up to touch Nina's hair.

"She has only started this recently." she said.

Tony looked at the little face next to his. "You mean the talking?" he asked .

Ziva nodded. "It is called babbling, and most babies do not begin doing it this early. " she paused and then half smiled. "I am thinking that is one more thing she gets from you. My mother always said that I did not speak until I was a year old." she said.

Tony laughed. "And my mother always said that I started talking the minute the doctor slapped my butt." he said. "So, yeah. That's a Di Nozzo trait. Definitely." he decided.

"Ayyiyiyiyiya" Nina confirmed .

Tony chuckled. "She agrees." he said. " I'll get started on the TV now. " he said.

Ziva nodded. " If you need anything.." she began.

"I'll holler." he said and Ziva nodded again and watched him walk away, whispering something to Nina that she could not hear.

This was what she wanted, for the two of them to know and love each other, and it was apparent that both were well on their way. She forced herself not to walk down the hallway to check on would not be jealous and frightened of that,even though she was feeling a little of both at the moment. She turned the opposite way and headed for the kitchen.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Half an hour later, the Shakshouka was in the oven and Ziva's curiosity finally got the best of her. It was next to impossible to hear anything that went on in that room from the kitchen, so she plucked one of Nina's toys from the basket in the living room and then walked back to the end of the hallway. " I thought she might be a little.." she began as she reached the doorway. She saw the TV mounted on the wall, as promised, and the tool box sitting on the fireplace hearth."Tony?" she called out.

"Over here." he called back and she followed the sound of his voice

She found him on the floor next to the big window, holding Nina as she stood up in his lap and looked out the window. She slapped her palms on the glass and babbled and Tony laughed and Ziva felt her heart clench as if it were wrapped up in a fist.

"We were watching the birds, but they flew away. " Tony said without turning from the window.

"You have finished already..That was very fast." Ziva said .

Tony looked up then. "The TV?. Yeah, it's pretty easy once you find the stud. I just need to hook it up to the cable." he said .

Ziva nodded. "They gave us an extra box when they hooked it up. It is in this room somewhere." she said. "But the food is just about ready, so.."

" Food first. Absolutely." Tony decided and got to his feet. "A couple of easy chairs and a sofa and this room will be... " he said and sniffed the air. He wrinkled his nose. "Holy crap...what is that smell?" he wondered .

Ziva laughed. " I do not know if I could call it Holy, but I believe crap covers it. Look at her face." she said and pointed at Nina, who grimaced briefly and then smiled.

Tony held Nina up and sniffed her butt. "Holy crap. " he repeated. " I'd ask what you're feeding her, but I already know. " he said .

Ziva shrugged. "She is a good pooper, too. Very regular. I guess I should have warned you." she said and held out her arms. " I will get her cleaned up." she said .

Tony shook his head. "No, I need the practice. I probably shouldn't admit this, but I've never changed a diaper before. " he said .

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "I see. Well, your first time should be quite memorable. " she said. " I have some supplies down here, but I think you will be more comfortable upstairs. You should find everything you need in her room.. " she added.

Tony frowned. "You're not sending me up there alone, are you?" he asked.

Ziva bit her lip. "You are not disarming a bomb, Tony. It is a dirty diaper."she said .

Tony smirked. " Funny. If she ends up with a diaper on her head, I'll bet you won't be laughing. " he said .

Ziva did laugh now " Tony. If you cannot tell the difference between her head and her tush, you have bigger problems than changing her diaper." she said. Nina kicked her feet and snorted when Ziva tickled underneath her chin.

"When did you turn into Don Rickles?" Tony demanded. "Enough with the jokes. You're coming upstairs to supervise. I just decided. " he said.

"Fine. But I will keep my distance. " Ziva said and extended her arm ."After you. " she said and she laughed at the expression on his face as he left the room.

"Okay, so where do I start?" he wondered as they arrived at Nina's room.

Ziva narrowed her eyes. "Are you serious?" she asked and Tony nodded. "Completely. " he said

Ziva eyed him carefully ."All right. " she said and walked across the room to the changing table. "Here." she said .

Tony walked over and set Nina down. " Don't look at me like that. I'm nervous. I don't want to screw this up." he said .

Ziva frowned. "It is a poopy diaper, Tony. "she said " How on earth would you screw it up?"

He shrugged. " I know it sounds stupid. I just dont want to screw anything up when it comes to her. Even the poopy diapers." he said .

Ziva smiled. " I understand. When I first brought her home I was absolutely terrified. All the time." she admitted and got a clean diaper from the box. "The wipes are there. " She handed him the diaper and pointed to the pack of baby wipes.

"Terrified of what?" Tony asked.

Ziva opened the tiny buttons at the back of Nina's dress. " Everything. " she replied. " I was afraid I was going to drop her. Or swaddle her too tightly and suffocate her. " she sighed and shook her head. " The first week after she came home, I stayed awake to watch her sleep and make sure she was breathing." she admitted.

"And when did it stop?" Tony wondered.

"Who said it stopped?" she countered and slipped Nina's arms out of her dress and then took it off her. "Put this on her. After you take care of the diaper." she said and handed him a red sleeper with an elephant on the front. Tony took a deep breath and nodded and Ziva bit her lip to keep from laughing aloud. Ziva picked up the wipes and opened the pack.

" Okay, kid. Be gentle with the old man. " Tony said and opened the diaper. Nina kicked her legs, and gazed up at the stars painted on the ceiling.

Ziva handed Tony three wipes. "Hold her legs with one hand, wipe with the other. " Ziva suggested.

"Like this?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. Like that. " she said and slipped the dirty diaper out and tossed it into the pail underneath the table. She handed him another couple of wipes. " Nice job." she said and held up the pail. He tossed the used wipes into it. "Now you put the clean one underneath her...like this.." she demonstrated and reached for the powder. " A little powder on her tush..." she continued and smiled. "Very good. You may close now, Doctor Di Nozzo." she said and held up the pail. "I will be right back. " she said.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked.

"To put this in the recycling bin. " Ziva said. "If I leave it here it will stunk up the room." she added.

"But what about this thing?" Tony asked and held up the sleeper.

Ziva furrowed her brow. "I do not think that is recyclable, Tony." she said. " I will be in the kitchen. If you need anything..." she added

Tony narrowed his eyes briefly before he turned his attention back to Nina. She smiled her toothless, artless smile at him and he laughed. " You know, smiles like that have been known to work on me. You might want to remember that for future reference." he said. " Okay, we can do this, right? " he added and examined the little sleeper. One long zipper from neck to foot. "Piece of cake." he decided, opened the zipper and picked up Nina's foot. She immediately started to kick her free leg and wave her arms up and down gleefully.

Ziva turned off the water and reached for the dishtowel to dry her hands, just as Tony's voice came over the baby monitor.

" Ow. Hey that wasn't fair." he complained. Ziva frowned and turned towards the sound, and was about to head up stairs when she heard Nina snort, and then giggle, followed by Tony's unmistakable laugh and she smiled and exhaled. She walked over to open the oven and lowered the heat just as Tony spoke again. " You know, a little cooperation here would be appreciated. " he said. " Especially since this is my first time flying solo with you, and you only get one chance to make a first impression. You might want to write that down." he said and Ziva smirked and shook her head.

"Of course, you'll probably want to master the walking and talking thing before tackling the reading and writing thing. " he mused. "But honestly, there's no rush with any of it. None at all." his voice was softer now, and she heard Nina making her 'aahhhh ehhhhh' happy noises. "You've got all the time in the world for everything, sweet pea. Places to go, people to meet. Hopefully, I'll get to tag along for some of it. " he continued. "So you kick those feet, and wave those arms and make some noise. And be good to your Mommy. She loves you a lot." he said. " Hey, we did it." he continued, and Ziva heard the noise of a zipper closing. "Let's go show Mommy. And maybe we'll hook up the TV and get you started on your film education. It's never too early." he said.

Ziva heard his footsteps over head and quickly shut off the heard his footsteps on the stairs, and Nina's little voice jabbering away and she reached for the oven mitts.  
>" Yayayayiyiyiyi." Nina announced.<p>

Ziva turned around. " You are very talky today, Malach." she said. " Everything went well?" she asked Tony,

Tony nodded. "I think so. I don't know if I'm ready for actual clothing yet, though. At least not by myself. " he said. "It smells great in here. " he added.

"Sit, I will.." Ziva paused when the cell phone on the counter rang "Excuse me." she said .

Tony nodded as she walked over to answer it. " Dodah? Is everything all right?" Ziva asked after seeing the familiar number on the screen.

"Yes, darling. Everything is fine. " Adina replied. " How is everything there with the unmentionable?" she wondered.

Ziva smirked. "So far so good, Dodah. " she said and Tony glanced at her with narrowed eyes. She held out her hand and tipped it back and forth and he smirked.

" Oh, wonderful, darling. In that case, I do not feel so bad about telling you this: Nettie and I will not be home this evening. We are going to the city to celebrate. " Adina announced.

"Celebrate?" Ziva asked. "The tournament? Did she win?" she asked

"Of course. You were expecting something else?" Adina asked. " And the first prize includes a night on the town in NY .. So we decided to use it tonight!" she exclaimed. " So I am calling to tell you this, and to make sure that you will be all right there by yourself. " Adina said

Ziva laughed. " I will not be by myself, and I will also be just fine, Dodah. Please, enjoy yourselves." she said

Adina laughed. " Oh, motek, I will make sure we do. " she assured her niece. " And you be careful, darling. You know what I am talking about." she said pointedly. "And give my knaidlech a kiss from me. " she added.

"I will, Aunt. Give Nettie my congratulations. " Ziva replied. "Have a wonderful time."

"Thank you darling. We will. Bye bye." Adina said and Ziva hung up the phone.

"Good news?" Tony asked .

Ziva smiled. "Yes" she said. "You can put her down here." she said and patted the back of Nina's high chair.

Tony frowned and leaned over to examine it. " Are you sure?" he asked. "That doesn't look too safe." he said .

Ziva smirked. "I am sure." she said.

Tony still looked skeptical, but carefully placed Nina in the seat. "Don't you have to strap her in or something?" he asked.

"No. She will be fine. " Ziva said and Nina kicked her legs and banged on the plastic tray with her hands. "See? Fine." Ziva added and walked over to the oven and opened it. "The Shakshouka is ready." she said, pulled on some oven mitts, took out the covered pot and set it down on the stove.

"Smells great. " Tony nodded. " So..the good news..." he began.

"Oh, it is not really a big thing." Ziva said. " I have made a cucumber salad with feta, too. If you could get it.." she pointed to the refrigerator.

Tony smirked and opened the refrigerator. "You can just tell me it's none of my business, you know. " he said .

Ziva lifted the lid off the pot. " It is not really a big deal, Tony. Aunt Nettie was in a mahjong tournament today, and she won first will be staying in the city to celebrate tonight.." she explained .

Tony raised an eyebrow. " , that is good news. Not that they're not coming back tonight" he said quickly. "But the win. The win is good news. " he clarified. "But what was that about you not being by yourself?" he wondered."If you're expecting someone,just say the word and I'll hit the road. " he said.

Ziva looked up, serving spoon in hand. " I am not expecting anyone. I meant I would not be by myself because Nina is here. " she explained. "You asked me earlier what it was like to be pregnant.." she began and Tony nodded "One of the very best parts was never feeling alone. " she said.

Tony smiled. "That's nice. I never thought about it like that." he said . "Why was I in here again?" he pointed to the refrigerator. "Oh, right. Salad. " he remembered and leaned down for a look. He found the bowl and closed the door.

" I hope it is all right. I have not made this since..Well, in a long time." she amended quickly and set the pot down on the table. "Sit." she urged and handed him the serving spoon. " I have wine.. " she began.

"No. No wine. " Tony said quickly. He needed to keep his wits about him. This was all very nice and domestic and lovely but it wasn't the playing house in the world wouldn't make it so. "Thanks, I'll stick with water. " he added and she nodded and got some from the refrigerator. " Sit already, Ziva." he said.

"I will in a moment. You go ahead and start. I am just going to get some fruit for Nina. " she said. The truth was a little more than that. Yes, she did want to get some fruit for Nina. But she also wanted the chance to get hold of herself. It was all very nice and wonderful to have dinner around the table and pretend at playing family. But it was not real, and it never would be. And that made her heart ache, more than just a little. She found the little container of applesauce and closed the refrigerator door.

" Is something wrong?" she wondered when she saw that Tony had not yet begun eating.

"Nope. Just waiting for you to land. " he said calmly. "My mother always said it wasn't polite to start eating until everyone was at the table. And we DiNozzo's pride ourselves on our manners. Right kid?" he asked Nina, who looked at him for a moment, smiled, and resumed banging her hands on the tray. "That's a yes." he confirmed .

Ziva nodded " Fine. Just let me warm this a little." she said and held up the container.

Twenty seconds later she sat down beside Nina, on the opposite end of the table." You may begin now, yes? We are all at the table. " she said.

" Technically, yes. We are. " Tony agreed and picked up his dish to serve himself. Meanwhile, Nina smushed applesauce around in her mouth, swallowed it, and licked her lips before opening her mouth for more.

"Mrs La Russa made the bread. It is wonderful" Ziva suggested and pushed the basket a little closer to Tony. "Mrs La Russa as in the neighborhood watch guy La Russa?" Tony asked .

Ziva nodded. "Yes. She and Aunt Nettie have become good friends."she explained. "They have a lot of things in they get together,there is usually something wonderful to eat as a result. That is likely why I still have those five extra pounds. " she said .

Tony smiled. " And you? Have you made any friends here?" he asked ,

Ziva shrugged and spooned a little more applesauce. " One or two. Everyone here has been very nice. Very welcoming. " she said . "I am glad that the Aunts have settled in so nicely. I was worried that they would be homesick. " she added.

" And they're not?" Tony asked.

" I think they miss a home that does not exist anymore." Ziva said.

" Because of what's happened with Hammas?" Tony asked .

Ziva shook her head. "No. I meant because the people who made it home are no longer there." she explained.

Tony's face softened. "Yeah, I get that." he said. "Home isn't really about location, anyway. " he said .

Ziva smiled. " I agree. " she said and felt something nudge her elbow that turned out to be Nina's foot. She waited expectantly, mouth open and Ziva laughed and gave her more applesauce.

"So these friends." Tony said a few moments later and Ziva looked up."Anyone special?" he asked casually. He wanted to ask if Suit boy attorney at law was included in that 'one or two', but he couldn't. Not his business. Unless it involved Nina, and then it was definitely his business.

"That depends on what you mean by special, I guess. " Ziva replied. " I have become quite close with the La Russa's daughter Gia." she said." And there is Aaron. " she said.

Tony smirked. "Of course. " he said. "Gia...she lives next door?" he asked.

"No, she lives in Manhattan. Is there some reason why you are asking?" Ziva wondered .

Tony shrugged. " No reason. " he said and reached for the bread basket. "You're right about this bread." he added. Ziva decided it was best just to ignore whatever his intention was and move on.

"All done, my love." she told Nina and held up the empty container to show her. Nina grabbed the spoon from Ziva's hand and banged it against the plastic tray, pleased with herself. Ziva laughed and leaned over to kiss Nina's soft cheek before she got up to put the container in the sink. Nina continued to bang happily on the tray with her spoon, making little noises and kicking her legs and Tony wondered if this longing, aching want for something he could never have was ever going to stop. He wiped a bit of applesauce from Nina's cheek and reminded himself that he did have Nina, and she was no one's consolation prize. She was everything.

Ziva glanced out the window over the sink. "It is raining." she said.

" Is it?" Tony asked and looked up and across the room towards the window.

" Kittens and puppies." Ziva mused .

Tony frowned. " What?" he asked.

"The rain. It is coming down like kittens and puppies." Ziva explained.

Tony nodded. "Right Except it's cats and dogs. It's raining cats and dogs." he said tersely. "And before you say it's the same thing, I know that. But it isn't in this case. Not at all. You would think by now you'd know this stuff. " he added. He was taking his frustration and anger at this situation out on her, and he knew it wasn't fair, but he couldn't seem to help it. This whole thing was unfair.

Ziva decided silence was her best course of action. Apparently, he was angry at her again, or perhaps, still. She watched the rain for another moment, took a deep breath, and then walked back to the table. Nina banged out a greeting for her with the spoon and Ziva smiled and touched her soft curls, and Nina dropped the spoon, turned her face upwards, and raised her arms up to Ziva, who understood the silent request and lifted her out of the high chair and into her arms.

Nina settled in her mother's lap, her back against Ziva's chest,and took the opportunity to study Tony intently with her alert and curious eyes. He smiled past the ache in his chest and reached out for Nina's hand. "You're not eating. " he said without looking up.

"I am not hungry." Ziva replied. Nina yawned and held onto two of Tony's fingers with her hand, her eyes beginning to droop a little. "It is nearly her bedtime." Ziva said quietly. "If you would like anything else, please help yourself." she got to her feet and shifted Nina to her shoulder where she yawned again and put her head down.

" You're taking her upstairs?" Tony asked .

Ziva nodded. "It is a little earlier than usual, but she has had a busy day." she said .

Tony nodded. " Right, so, I guess I should start thinking about heading back to the City. " he said .

Ziva kept silent and rubbed Nina's back. " If you would like to put her to bed before you go." she offered.

"I would. " Tony said and got to his feet.

Ziva nodded. "All right. I will be down here if you need anything." she said and moved to shift a sleepy Nina from her shoulder to Tony, but Nina balked and started to cry, holding tight to Ziva's hair.

"Looks like she has other ideas. " Tony said.

" She gets cranky when she is tired. I would not take it personally. " Ziva said. " If you come upstairs with us, I am sure.."

" I didn't take it personally. She wants her Mommy. I get that." Tony said. "I'll just stay quiet and watch and learn, if you don't mind.." he said .

Ziva shook her head. "No I do not mind. " she said and put her hand on Nina's head to quiet her whimpering.

He trailed behind them up the stairs, and into Nina's room, and smiled when he noticed that the stars painted overheard glowed softly in the darkness. He remained in the doorway as Ziva approached the crib and reached inside with one hand. Soft music began to play.

"Her music box. " Ziva whispered. Nina began to cry again when Ziva tried to put her down. "All right, malach. We will wait awhile." she said and put Nina back on her shoulder . Tony leaned against the doorframe and watched Ziva walk across the room, to the rocking chair next to the window. "Sometimes, she will want to hear a story. Other times, some music.." Ziva whispered as she sat down. "And some times, like now, she just wants to be held." she said.

"How can you tell the difference?" Tony asked as Ziva rocked Nina back and forth.

" She will hang on very tightly when she wants to be held. Like now." Ziva whispered and Tony noticed Nina's hands still hanging onto Ziva's hair, although their grip had loosened considerably by now. "If she wants a story, she fusses. She kicks her legs and arms and makes noise until you show her a book. Any book." she said. "If the book does not work, I try the music. " she said. " You will figure things out as you go along. " she added. Nina had begun to doze now, and Ziva stood up carefully and made her way over to the crib.

" I don't know if I'll ever figure all of it out. " Tony said and walked over to stand next to the crib.

" I believe that you will. " Ziva said. " It does not happen in one day. " she added and reached over to make sure the monitor was turned on .

"Doesn't she need a blanket?" Tony whispered as Ziva began to walk away from the crib. .

"It is more than warm enough in here for her. " she replied and beckoned him out to the hallway with her hand.

" I will get some of those books for you. " Ziva said. "You can read them on the train. " she added and Tony nodded, just as a crack of lightning caused the lights to flicker briefly, and Ziva held her breath, waiting for the rumble of thunder that almost inevitably followed, and usually scared Nina right out of the deepest sleep.

"Damn, I hope the lights don't go out..." Tony said when they flickered again.

" And I hope that..." Ziva began just a loud BOOOM of thunder sounded, powerful enough to startle her, and more than loud enough to start Nina crying almost immediately. "She does not like thunder. " Ziva said and walked back to Nina's room. "Shhhhhh, malach.." she leaned over the crib and Nina held up her arms and sobbed. "Shhhh.." Ziva said soothingly and lifted her out as another round of thunder boomed again.

Tony sighed and put his hand on Nina's hair when she continued to sob. "And now what, Mommy?" he asked. "And now, we try our best to distract her. " Ziva replied.

"We?" he asked.

Ziva nodded "Yes. You are a very good distractor." she said.

Tony raised an eyebrow. " This is true. " he agreed . " So, what kind of distraction did you have in mind?" he asked. Nina was still crying, softer now, and hiccuping occasionally.

" Whatever you think will work." Ziva said and stepped a little closer to him to hand Nina to Tony.

He held up his hands at first, but when Nina did not protest,and even put her head down against his neck, he smiled. "Okay, kiddo." he said and rubbed her back hesitantly, but then, more confidently after he looked at Ziva,who nodded her approval.

"So, thunder. Scary, right?" he began softly and held Nina closer. "I remember my Nonna telling me that thunder meant the angels were bowling. " he said and put his face next to Nina's ear. "But to be honest, I never really believed her. " he confided quietly. "I mean, the long robes, the lack of feet...you gotta figure that's gonna seriously hinder the bowling skills" he said.

"Not to mention, the wings." Ziva added.

Tony looked up quickly and smiled. " Exactly. " he agreed. Nina had stopped crying now, and she turned her head so it faced him now,her still wet cheek against his shoulder and her eyes on his face, the remnants of her tears still clinging to her long eyelashes. "So I figured all that noise must have come from them trying to pick up those heavy bowling balls, and dropping them, because the wings or the robe or the no feet thing got in the way. Because Nonna couldn't be making it up. She knew everything." he continued. "And what she didn't know, Nonno did. I mean, he knew about regular things, like sports. But he also knew stuff that other kids Grandparents didn't know. Like how to make wine in his basement. " he continued and Ziva silently motioned him towards the rocking chair. " I asked him about the bowling thing, and he told me if Nonna said it, then it must be true. " he said as he sat down.

Nina was listening intently now, her eyes wide, and Tony touched her cheek with the tip of his finger. " Well, then I was really confused. I wanted to ask him about the no feet thing, and the robe, but I decided not to. Because if he said it, and Nonna said it, it had to be true. " he smiled as remembered something else.

" And then, he did something to distract me. Kind of like what I'm doing with you right now. " he said and across the room, Ziva's lips twitched briefly, in spite of the stern look in her eyes. Tony leaned over and blew a soft raspberry next to Nina's ear. It made her laugh with delight, and when he did it again, she laughed harder and patted her hand against his cheek. " I figured that would work. Nonno said it worked on my Dad, so he figured it would work on me, too. And since.." he began and glanced across the room again, and Ziva nodded. The silent, unique communication they'd shared for so long seemed to be working again. " Well, since you're a Di Nozzo, too..."

Nina raised her head from Tony's shoulder and patted his face with her hand. "I think she would like you to do it again." Ziva whispered

Tony raised an eyebrow. "You think? Okay, sure." he said and leaned in closer to Nina, who helped him by turning her head sideways.

"See?" Ziva said and Tony laughed and did his little trick again, and Nina snorted with laughter, putting her hand up to her ear even as thunder rumbled outside.

"And after he distracted me, we'd go upstairs to Nonna's kitchen. " Tony continued as the memories came back. Things he hadn't thought about in years. "And she'd distract me with Nutella and homemade bread." he smiled and Ziva could see it clearly in her mind, the wide eyed, sandy haired boy sitting at his Grandmother's table. Tony looked at Nina, who seemed to have forgotten about the thunder for the moment, as well as any ideas she might have had about going back to sleep. She wriggled a little in his arms and put both hands on his face, babbling at him and then turning her head sideways to offer him her ear again. Her parents laughed at the same time, and Tony dutifully blew another raspberry, just in time for a flash of lightning that caused the lights to flicker.

" I think we should take her downstairs." Ziva suggested .

Tony nodded. "Just in case the lights go out.." he finished for her .

"Yes. I will find the candles and flashlights, just in case. " Ziva said. "Bring her blanket along" she said and pointed to the chair Tony just vacated. He snatched the pale green blanket off the chair and handed it to Ziva as the lights flickered again.

" Fafafafafafa FAAAA." a wide awake Nina announced and Tony laughed. " We may have distracted her into a late night for you, Mommy." he said.

Ziva turned around in the doorway. " For you too, Daddy. If the power goes out, the trains will not run. " she said and left the room.

Tony blinked, and looked at Nina, who continued to babble as the lights flickered one more time.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

AN: Again, thanks to those still reading. following and reviewing.

Tony made his way down the stairs with Nina, and walked into the kitchen, just in time to see Ziva setting down some candles and a flashlight on the table.

"I think she will be warm enough with the blanket, but there is firewood in the living room, just in case. " she said. " Since you are not going anywhere, you might want to sit down and finish your dinner." she told Tony.

" Who says I'm not going anywhere?" he asked, just to be obstinate. He had absolutely no desire to go out in the pouring rain if given a choice.

Ziva frowned. "Do not be difficult." she said. "I realize that this is the last thing you would like to do. But you must be practical. " she continued. "If there is no power, the trains cannot run. If there are no trains, you will have to find another way into the city. I suppose you could take a cab, but I doubt there will be many willing to drive you all the way into the city in this weather." she said. " I will check the firewood and make sure the flue is open." she added. "And I must find the matches." she said and waggled her finger in the air.

"Hold up." Tony said and held onto her arm before she could leave the room. " In case you hadn't noticed, the lights are still on." he said .

Ziva nodded. "I have noticed. I have also lived here long enough to know that in this kind of weather, they do not stay on very long. " she said,just as another flash of lightning caused the lights to flicker again. "I understand that staying here would not be a very pleasant option for if you insist on trying to go, I suppose I cannot stop you." she continued. "I can explain things to your fiancee if you.."

"NO." Tony interrupted quickly and Nina tugged on his earlobe. " I mean, there's no need for that. We're adults. Besides, it's pretty early, isn't it? I have the day off tomorrow, so it doesn't matter what time I get back to the city. " he said.

The lights flickered again and Ziva nodded, her face undreadable. "Whatever you like." she said and left the room.

Tony sighed and stared at Nina, who tilted her head sideways and stared back. Now he actually had to go out in the pouring rain and try to find a way back to the City. When what he really wanted was to stay right here where it was warm and dry and welcoming, and not coincidentally, where Nina was. Not to mention her mother. He really was a major league dumbass sometimes.

The power would probably stay on now, just because that was usually the way his luck ran. And just to put the icing on the shit cake, his stomach began to rumble. Loudly. He put his mouth next to Nina's ear. "Don't be like your old man, sweet pea. " he whispered and Nina patted his cheek and refused to turn her head away until her blew another raspberry against her ear. Her chortle was reward enough to make him feel slightly better, but not anywhere near better enough to relish heading out into the pouring rain.

Ziva placed two logs inside the fireplace. She should not care, or feel hurt, but here she was, feeling both. It was not as if she were forcing him to spend time in a dungeon, or even to spend time with her. Perhaps that what he thought. That she was trying to get him to stay here to spend time with her. She checked the flue and replaced the fire screen before she stood up to find the matches.

If he wanted to go out in the pouring rain when he did not have to, just to get away from her, she supposed that was his privledge. Apparently, even the chance to spend more time with Nina was not enough to keep him here. She found the matches in the little metal box on the mantel, just where she'd left them the other night, and as she pondered whether or not she should light the candles inside the sconces, the lights flickered again, and then went off.

Nina was startled by the sudden darkness for a moment, and then began to cry and Tony felt only the tiniest bit guilty for being thrilled about the power failure.

"Tony?" Ziva called out and struck a match.

"I've got her." he called back.

Ziva lit the candles and the soft light was enough for her to see her way to the kitchen. Tony was seated at the table, obviously intent on making Nina laugh again. Ziva lit a fat candle and held it up to her face. Nina saw her, stopped crying and then laughed when Tony blew a raspberry against her ear.

" Go ahead and say it. " Tony said. "You told me so." he added.

"That would be pointless. " Ziva decided and lit a few more candles, until the room was lit in soft, golden tones. " If you would still like to try and get back to the city, perhaps you can do it by taxi. " she said and walked over to the refrigerator. She pointed out a magnet in the shape of a car. " They are reliable and not terribly expensive. Ask for Albert, he is very nice." she suggested.

" Or I could just stay here. " Tony replied .

Ziva turned around. "Yes. You could do that." she agreed and sat down across the table. "I am suddenly very hungry. So I am going to eat. " she said. "You will let me know what you decide, yes?" she asked and reached for the salad bowl.

Tony glanced at Nina, who put her hands on his cheek and babbled. " Eeeyayaeeeee." she said .

Tony rubbed his nose against hers and she giggled and slapped at his cheeks. " If the offer still stands, I'd like to stay. " he said carefully.

Ziva looked up with her mouth full. She chewed and swallowed and then shrugged. " The offer is standing. " she said. " If you would like to eat, you can put her in the high chair. " she suggested.

"I'd rather keep her with me. " Tony said .

Ziva shrugged again. " Whatever you like." she said.

Tony set Nina down in his lap, held onto her with one arm and picked up a fork with his free hand. Nina watched as he raised a forkful of eggs to his mouth, then reached up and tugged at his elbow. The eggs slid off the fork and onto Tony's leg .

"Eeeeeeeeee" Nina squealed and clapped her hands.

Ziva bit her lip to keep from laughing. "I should have warned you. " she said. "I have tried that several times, and each time I have ended up with a lap full of food." she added.

" Apparently, she also inherited the DiNozzo sense of humor." Tony replied and wiped the egg off his pant shifted Nina to his other side, out of reach of his elbow and Nina furrowed her brow and watched him raise the fork to his mouth. " I'm sure she'll figure out this out eventually. Maybe I should wear a hazmat suit." he said .

"Or you could just put her in the high chair." Ziva suggested.

"I guess I should. " he admitted. " It would probably make this a lot easier. " he said and looked down at Nina, who was busying herself with attempting to reach the zipper pull on the front of his sweater. " But I'm sure you noticed that she stopped crying the minute she saw your face. " he said and laughed when Nina grunted in frustration when she was unable to reach high enough to pull the zipper.

He pulled the zipper down a bit and Nina grabbed it quickly and yanked it down. " That's what I want. " he continued and pulled up the zipper again. Nina reached for it and yanked it down and he laughed. "I want her to stop crying when she sees my face, too. " he said. " I don't want to make it into a competition. That's not what I meant.." he said quickly.

Ziva nodded. "You want her to trust you. " she said. "That will come. She is already smitten, I think.. " she added.

Tony's returning smile made her heart beat speed up. " The feeling is mutual. " he said and put his hand on Nina's hair. " I'm still a little stunned by this whole thing." he confided.

Ziva nodded. "That is understandable. " she said .

"She's so beautiful . Smart and funny and I'm completely in love with her already." Tony admitted .

Ziva smiled. "I am prejudiced, but I think she is very easy to love. " she said. " I expected that you would be wonderful with her, and you are. She is going to break that zipper, I think." she fretted when Nina pushed the zipper up and then pulled it down again.

"It's okay, Mommy. " he said quietly and Ziva looked up. " Really." he added. Nina waved her arms up and down impatiently and bounced a little when the zipper was out of reach again and Tony gave her a hand. She squealed happily and pulled it down and tugged it back up again. "If you're worried that I'm going to play good cop, bad cop with her, don't." he said.

Ziva looked confused and then shook her head. "I am sorry..What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that I don't want to be one of those weekend Fathers who give the kid candy for breakfast and let them do whatever they want. And when they go back home, the other parent has to play the bad guy." he explained.

Ziva's expression softened. "Oh. Well, thank you." she said. She had to admit that thought had crossed her mind, even if it was just briefly.

"Don't thank me. Really. " he said. "I'm already thinking up excuses to come up here and see her." he said, and conveniently left out the 'and you' he added in his mind.

"You do not need excuses. Any time you would like to see her will be just fine. " she said .

Tony nodded. "I just hope Gibbs feels the same way." he said and noticed the change in Ziva's demeanor when Gibbs name was mentioned, and wanted to ask her about it. But when she didn't reply, merely nodded and kept silent, he decided against it. "I won't just drop in on you without calling or texting first, though. " he said

Ziva nodded again. " That is fine. " she said as the room lit up briefly as the lightning and thunder continued , Nina did not seem to notice, still intent on closing and opening the zipper. "I think you definitely need to come whenever there is thunder and lightning. " Ziva said and Tony looked up with his mouth full. "You are a much better distractor than I am. " she said.

Tony smirked. "I've had years more to practice. " he said. " I have a feeling she wouldn't be nearly this calm if you weren't sitting less than a foot away. " he said. " I'm not sure I can do this Dad thing without your help." he added.

Ziva felt her face flush. " You have only been at it for a few hours. " she said .

Tony nodded. "I know. I just thought..." he began. "We were partners for so long." he glanced down at Nina, still tugging away at the zipper, the set of her little mouth and her delicate features so much like Ziva.

" I did not know if you would be willing to be a partner with me again. For anything or anyone." Ziva countered.

Tony looked up . "Nina's not just anyone." he said .

Ziva smiled. "No..she is not...So you are willing to be a partner in this with me?For her?In spite of everything that has happened between us ?" she asked

Tony smiled back. Her ability to cut directly to the chase hadn't changed. "In spite of...or because of.." Tony replied. "Either way, yes. For Nina. " he said.

Ziva's look of relief stabbed at him briefly. He hadn't meant to keep her in suspense, or make her doubt that he was in this with her, all the way. Maybe he needed to make that more clear.

"Thank you." Ziva said and she hesitated for a moment, studying Nina's busy little face and hands before she continued. "Perhaps...I mean..I hope..." she began and then paused, unsure if she should continue..

"Whatever it it you're thinking about saying, you should probably just go ahead and say it. " Tony suggested. "I promise not to bite your head off. I meant what I said. I'm in this with you and Nina. 1000 percent." he said.

"I was going to say that I hope this ... partnership..I hope it will not cause any complications or problems in your life." she said.

Tony studied her face in the flickering candlelight and tried to remember a time when their partnership didn't include problems or complications. Not to mention shootouts,hostage situations, explosions and one of them believing the other was dead. And still, without any of that, they wouldn't have the scrappy little bundle of joy currently seated in his lap, trying her best to break his zipper.

"Are you certain you would not like to make this official?" Ziva asked. "We could perhaps work out a schedule and.. "

"Which would immediately get fouled up by finding a petty officer in Rock Creek Park. " Tony said. "Or at the bottom of a river, or in the trunk of a car. You can't have forgotten that much.." he said.

Ziva smiled. " No, I have not. But perhaps it is better if we play it by eye." she said.

Tony nodded. "Ear. And yeah, I think that would be for the best. For the time being, anyway. I don't want to upset her routine. " he said. "But I would like to be part of it, in whatever way I can. " he added.

Ziva nodded. "We will come up with something. A Skype schedule, perhaps.." she suggested .

Tony grinned. "That is an excellent idea, Mommy. " he said.

"Thank you. So...as long as you are going to be part of her routine..And since you are not going anywhere tonight.." she began and held out her arms.. "How about I hold onto her until you finish eating?" she suggested. "I promise to give her back as soon as you are done." she added.

Tony narrowed his eyes. " Okay. " he finally said. "But I'm gonna eat fast. " he said and let Ziva take her. Nina balked immediately, which gave Tony a surge of pride, and then anxiety when she started to cry. Tony watched as Ziva shamelessly stole a page from his book and blew a raspberry next to her ear. Nina chortled and put her hand up to her ear, and refused to move her head until Ziva did it again. She then sat Nina in her lap, facing Tony and smiled when the baby immediately began to watch him intently, one finger in her mouth.

" Neat trick. " Tony mused.

Ziva shrugged. "I must have picked it up somewhere. " she said.

Ten minutes and another helping of Shakshouka later, Tony set down his fork. Nina was quiet now, a little sleepy eyed as Tony held open his arms and Ziva handed her over. She immediately put her head down against Tony's neck and yawned.

"If the lights do not come back on, I think we should stay down here tonight. " Ziva said and began to clear the table.

"Good idea. No sense try trying to go up and down the stairs in the dark." he said.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. That. And she can have a fire down here, because the heat will not work without power, and I do not think it will stay warm enough upstairs for her." she said.

Tony frowned " I didn't think about that. " he admitted.

"You will. " Ziva assured him and put the pot with the remaining Shaskshouka in the oven.

Tony rubbed Nina's back and got to his feet carefully. "I'm glad you think so. I wish I felt that confident." he said.

"You will." Ziva repeated.

"So where will she sleep down here? " Tony asked.

"There is a portable playpen in the room in back." she said.

"I'll get it ."Tony volunteered..

"No, thank you. I can get it. I know where it is, and I do not want you to trip over something in the dark." she said. "Besides...It looks like she is ready to go back to sleep." she whispered. " I will be right back. " she said and grabbed the flashlight

Tony glanced down at Nina, now dozing against his neck, and sat down again. He rubbed her back and wondered if they were really going to be able to pull this off. Could he put aside everything that happened for the sake of Nina? Could he live with the idea of seeing Ziva all the time again, forever just out of his reach?

He glanced down at Nina's little face again, her mouth half open and drooling and he smiled. Yup. He could do it. He could do anything for that little face. He'd gone to the ends of the earth and back for her mother, more than once, with no regrets at all. He'd do it all again in a heartbeat for her daughter. Their daughter. Nina snored softly and he chuckled and stroked her curls. Yup. In a heartbeat.

A narrow beam of light announced Ziva's return, carrying the folding playpen in her hand. She put the light up to her face."She is asleep?" Ziva whispered and Tony nodded. "Good. I will set this up in front of the fireplace and."

"And I'll build a fire" Tony whispered.

Ziva smiled. "Good idea. " she said as Tony stood up slowly, his hand still at Nina's followed Ziva into the living room, and watched as the thing that looked like a big bag with handles somehow magically turned it into a playpen complete with animal mobile, with just a few simple , he had a ton of stuff to catch up on. She beckoned him closer with one hand and patted the soft, sheet covered floor of the playpen with the other.

Tony knelt down beside Ziva and put Nina down carefully on her back, hoping she wouldn't awaken. They watched as she stirred briefly and yawned, little hands moving slowly in the air for a moment before she quieted and resumed snoring softly.

"I'll start the fire. " Tony whispered.

Ziva watched Nina sleep for a moment and then turned her attention to Tony, who already had a small fire started. He'd always teased her about her survival skills , but the truth was, he was much better at starting and tending fires than she was. He poked at the logs until one of them caught and she leaned her cheek against the edge of the playpen and watched him

Could they really do this? Be partners again, but this time for Nina? She had no doubt at all that he could and would do anything for Nina . Everything that he had already done for her and she would have to live with having him as part of her life again, but beyond her reach this time, in love with and planning a life with someone else. She would do it, and with no regrets. There was no choice. Nina deserved that much, and so did he.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

AN: This one is a little long.

He gave the fire a final poke and then replaced the screen. When he turned around he found Ziva watching him, her face incandescent in the firelight, a half smile on her lips.

" You are still very good at that. " she said quietly .

" I'm a little out of practice. It's been awhile. " he said.

"It does not show. " she replied and turned her attention back to Nina.

"Will this be enough to keep her warm?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "It should be. " she said and for a few minutes, there were only the sounds of the fire popping and crackling and the occasional rumble of thunder and rain against the windows to break the silence

"I will be right back " Ziva finally broke the silence and got to her feet, flashlight in hand.

" Where are you going?" Tony wondered. "Upstairs to get some linens for the sofa. " she explained.

"I don't need that." Tony said.

"The sofa will be hard enough on your back At least let me try to make it a little more comfortable. . " Ziva countered. "You can always sleep in my bed if you prefer... " she suggested. "I changed the linens this morning.." she added.

"No." Tony said immediately. The last thing he needed was that. Surrounded by her things, and her scent. No. Uh uh. " I mean, I'd rather stay down here with Nina. " he said. "But there's no reason why you shouldn't sleep in your own bed ..." he said

" Nina will be down here. That is a big reason." she replied. "If it makes you feel more comfortable, I will sleep in that chair. " she said and pointed to a big easy chair in the corner, next to the front windows

.Tony frowned. "You can't sleep sitting up. " he said.

Ziva smiled. " I can. I have. I will. " she assured him. "I do not wish for you to have to try and explain anythng that could be considered inappropriate to your fiancee. " she said.

Tony smirked. " When did I wake up in a Jane Austen novel?" he asked. " We have a child, Ziva. I think that means we've already done the inappropriate stuff. " he said.

Ziva narrowed her eyes. "I am only trying to be considerate of your fiancee. " she said. " I do not want her to think that I am trying to sag you. " she said.

"Snag. " Tony corrected her and decided for what had to be at least the five thousandth time in his life that if there was a more appealing, adorable woman anywhere on earth than a perplexed, slightly aggravated Ziva David, he hadn't discovered her yet. Faith or no Faith, and Nina didn't count, because technically, she wasn't a woman yet.

" I appreciate the consideration, but it's completely not necessary." he said. " The sofa is big enough to share." he added.

Ziva decided she was not going to argue with him about this. It was her house, she could sleep in any chair she wanted. No matter how good he looked with firelight as a backdrop. "Fine, then. " she said. "Fine. " she added and headed for the stairs. Tony smirked as she stomped up the stairs. The carpet muffled the sound considerably, but it was good to know that some things hadn't changed. Angry Ziva still clomped.

Tony moved to the sofa to test it out, and decided it was a lot more comfortable than it looked. He tossed the pillows onto the floor and sat down again, and watched the fire, contemplating this huge, momentous day and how he was going to broach any and all of it with Faith.. He actually smelled Ziva rather than saw or heard her when she reappeared again on the stairs.

The scent of honey and almonds was stronger than before, and he turned his head to watch her descend the stairs . Her hair was still damp,and caught up in a messy topknot, and she'd changed into some fuzzy gray yoga pants and a fleece top after a shower. She held the flashlight in one hand, and a pile of linens in the other as she descended the last stair, the thick socks on her feet muffling her footsteps. " I found some things for you to wear to sleep. " she said and set the clothing in her hands down on the sofa next to him. She walked away with the linens and Tony tore his eyes from her magnificent ass in those clingy pants long enough to glance at the pile of clothing she left behind. He frowned and leaned in to examine it more closely.

A very familiar pair of black sweatpants with the Baltimore PD logo on the leg, washed so many times that the logo was barely visible now,and the color closer to grey than black. They had a small hole in the back of the right leg, where he'd caught them on the ladder that one time he'd helped her paint her apartment. And when he couldn't find them, he assumed they'd accidentally been thrown away, or were lost by the laundry service he used for a short time. In between the death of his old washing machine and the purchase of the one he was currently using; the one Ziva helped him pick out after obsessively reading reviews of at least 20 different models.

He reached over to lift up the pants and found another piece of clothing underneath. He'd forgotten about this one, too, until now, but unlike the pants, he didn't think this was lost. He knew she had it, that factoid just got lost in the passage of time and the insanity of the last couple of years. The night she slept at his place, after her father's death. She'd spilled tea on the t shirt she'd brought over to sleep in, and he'd given her one of his to sleep in. Come to think of it, he probably still had the t shirt she'd spilled on somewhere at his place.

Probably in that box at the back of his closet, the one he'd angrily tossed together the day after he got back from Israel; with every intention of mailing it back to her, no return address needed. He could not escape her that day, and for days and weeks after that, no matter where he went. She'd woven herself so deeply into the fabric of his life, there were reminders of her everywhere. The tangible kind that filled up an entire packing box, and the more ephemeral, less easy to forget kind. the kind that imprinted themselves on his soul. He never could bring himself to mail that box, even though he hadn't looked at it since the day he shoved it in the closet.

He studied the cracked, faded images of Ringo, John, Paul and George walking across that iconic road for a few long moments before he spoke, and even then, a soft 'Thanks' was all he could muster.

She had not meant to upset him, or make him angry. She was merely being practical. She had the clothes, he needed them. She could keep them hidden away in her bottom drawer, to pull out and moon over and sniff for any last vestige that remained of his cologne. She had done that far more often than she would ever admit to anyone. Or she could be an adult and give them back, after hanging onto them for far too long.

Those old clothes had been everywhere with her.. To Israel, to Jordan and Lebanon. To Tortoli, Barletta and Fermo, to Ghana and Sierra Leone and all the stops in between. Sometimes, she would leave one piece behind, other times, she would take both, and when she left Israel for good, she actually considered leaving them behind, too. But she could not, and she told herself it was because they really did not belong to her, but the real truth was that she could not bring herself to part with them. They were one of the few, real tangible things she had left of Tony, things that smelled like him, and felt like him.

Even after she discovered she was pregnant, and would soon have the best kind of reminder of his presence in her life, she could not let them go. She brought them along to her new life, and tucked them away at the bottom of a dresser drawer, hoping that keeping them out of sight would also put him out of her mind, and let her forget just how badly she had screwed things up.

It did neither of those things, and now she did not have a choice. He did not ask about them, likely because he'd completely forgotten they existed. She put the linens down on the chair next to the window and made her way around the coffee table and over to the built in bookshelves that separated the living room from the dining room. He turned around on the sofa to watch as she opened a door he hadn't noticed before, between the built ins; it was made of the same wood and it sort of blended in . She pulled over a chair and placed it in front of the closet before she climbed up and stood on the seat.

Tony stood up. "Don't you have a stepladder?" he asked. He walked over and stood behind the chair. .

" It is in the den somewhere, and I do not think I will be able to find it in..." she paused to stretch and search around the closet shelf in the darkness, and Tony admired the up close and personal view of her ass while she did so. She apparently found what she'd been searching for, and just as she pulled two pillows out of the closet, the momentum caused her socked feet to slip on the chintz seat cover, and Tony grabbed her around the waist from behind just before she toppled off the chair.

His head ended up just below her shoulder and he swore that he felt one of them or both, tremble at the contact. She was just as soft and warm as he remembered and the scent of her hair and her skin...he breathed in deeply against the back of her neck and Ziva felt her heart beat wildly in her chest, her skin tingling at his intake of breath. His touch was just as gentle and sure as she remembered, and the heat and scent of him surrounded her, reminding her, comforting her,and even though she had no right to that comfort, she sucked it up greedily, closing her eyes to mark the moment in her mind, even though she knew full well that remembering it would not be the problem;forgetting it would be .

"You okay?" he asked and she trembled a little in spite of, or perhaps because of her determination not to reveal he effect his nearness had on her.

"Yes. Thank you," she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

His hands moved across her waist for a moment. "I wish.." he began, his voice soft and thick as velvet just below her ear. "I mean.." he continued. "I would have liked to know...to feel her inside you. Once." he said .

Ziva turned her head sideways to look at him over her shoulder. " I am sorry that I did not give you that chance. " she said.

When he looked up at her, his eyes were dark and hooded. "You didn't really tell me what it was like." he said . " Were you sick a lot?" he asked.

Ziva nodded. "Yes. But only for a short time. A few weeks. " she said.

"And after the sickness passed ?." he prompted.

"After the sickness passed...I loved it." she admitted and got a genuine smile from Tony in return. " There were parts I did not like, of course. Not being able to see my feet for a long time. " she began."And the heartburn. Nettie told me it meant the baby would be born with hair on it's head and she was right. " she said.

Tony smiled again. "What else?" he asked.

"Not being able to fit into anything that did not have elastic in it somewhere." she said ." Swollen . Constipation.. ." she said and laughed when he made a face. "You asked. " she reminded him and decided not to mention the hemorrhoids.

"And you still loved it?" Tony asked .

Ziva nodded again. " I did. After the sickness passed, I ate everything that did not eat me first. I was hungry all the time." she said. " It was wonderful to have an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. That is how I ended up with these five extra pounds, no doubt. " she sighed.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Tony said quietly. "You look great." he said and realized he was still holding onto her and breathing her in. He should let her go, but he'd never been very good at that. And who knows when or if he'd ever get a chance to do it again.

Ziva felt her face warm with the compliment. "Thank you. So do you. " she complimented in return.

He grinned and it was all Di Nozzo. "Nice of you to notice. Thanks. " he said and studied her mouth in the soft, glowing light.

"I am standing on a chair." Ziva announced after an extended silence.

Tony nodded. "I know. " he acknowledged. "I suppose you'll have to get down from there. " he said, but made no move at all to release her from his hold. She nodded her agreement, but made no move to encourage him to do so, content to stay where she was for as long as he wanted. He smelled so Tony-ish, the faint traces of cologne still lingering, and his eyes and face were so alive in the soft light, and the sudden memory of kissing his bare skin came spinning back, along with the memory of the way he buried his hands in her hair and drew her face up to his for a kiss, and those memories nearly caused her throat to close with the ache of longing, and she swallowed it back.

She moved her feet as if to start to climb down, but they slid again on the polished fabric. Tony kept his hold on her through out, and looked at her with amusement, eyes dancing. " Feeling a little clumsy, are we, David?" he asked and picked her up by the waist, and set her down on the floor befor she could reply

.She turned around to face him, slowly. "Do you realize I could have taken out both your knees?" she asked

He laughed. "And there's the Ninja I remember. " he said .

Ziva stuck out her chin defiantly. " Retired Ninja." she said

Tiny laughed again. "My money's still on you, retired or not." he said and picked up the pillows she'd dropped on the floor. " I suppose I should go shower now. " he said and handed her the pillows.

"If you like.. " Ziva said and handed him the flashlight.. "Clean towels are in the closet. " she added .

"Thanks" Tony said and grabbed the clothing she'd left for him off the sofa. "Don't learn to walk or talk or anything while I'm gone. " he leaned over the playpen and whispered on the way to the stairs. Nina continued to snore softly and Ziva's lips twitched briefly as she watched him walk across the ability to be absolutely silly at times was something she envied, even if she realized long ago that it was a defense mechanism. Part of the DiNozzo mask he could slip on and off as needed.

The lovable clown with an eye for the ladies people had come to expect, and she considered herself fortunate to be among the few who were given the chance to look underneath the mask, down to the soul of the genuine, devoted, kind hearted man underneath. Even if her chance was gone now, she would never forget that man underneath. That man would be the best Father in the world to Nina, there was not a doubt in her mind about that now. That man underneath would never let what happened between them influence the way he felt about Nina . Shame on her for ever thinking it would. She sighed and sat down on the floor next to the playpen to watch Nina sleep.

Tony made his way down the stairs a short time later, smelling of her soap and shampoo . He paused on the steps, wondering if she were asleep sitting up next to the not, because she picked up her head after noticing the beam from the flashlight. "Nice shower. " he commented as he stepped down off the stair..

" Thank you. " she said and noticed his bare feet. " Your feet will be cold..I think I have some socks that.." she began.

" My feet are never cold. " Tony said and she paused, remembering more than one conversation about the DiNozzo's and their ability to generate body heat. 'It's the Mediterrean blood. We all run hot. Like furnaces.' he used to say.

Ziva nodded. "I remember. " she said. " If you would like to go to sleep now.." she began.

"I don't think so. I usually try and stay up to at least nine on non school nights." he said.

Ziva looked sheepish. "Oh. Yes. Of course. " she said.

" But if you're tired, please don't let me keep you up." Tony said. "I'll find ways to entertain myself. "

"I am not tired, but I thought you might wish for a little time to yourself, perhaps to call your fiancee.." she suggested.

" Not necessary, but thanks just the same. She knows I was staying overnight, so she won't be expecting to hear from me. " he said..

Ziva nodded. "I see." she said, even though she really did not. "Well then." she continued. " I know we have playing cards, because Nettie loves to play pinochle " she began.

Tony smiled. " It's been awhile since I've beaten your socks off at gin rummy." he said.

Ziva raised that familiar eyebrow, " I do not recall that ever happening. " she said and held up one foot to show him her socked foot. She walked across the room and into the hallway to retrieve the playing cards, and he appreciated the view, even in the dim light.

" You must have Mommy brain, sweetcheeks. " he said when she returned and handed him the deck of cards, the ancient nickname rolling easily off his tongue. " Because I remember trouncing you on more than one occasion. Several times, in fact. " he said.

Ziva waved her hand. "Hogbath" she said and that one took him a minute. It sounded strangely Harry Potterish.

" Wash." he finally figured out.

"Washbath?" she asked .

Tony sighed. "Never mind . The Norm Crosby imitation doesn't change the facts. I've always beaten you at cards. Always. " he said and followed her over to the sofa.

"Since you are the guest, you will deal." she decided and sat down on the floor next to the coffee table.

He followed suit, a short distance away. " So...about next Sunday." he began as he dealt the cards.  
>Ziva picked up the cards and looked up. "Yes?" she asked.<p>

Tony wasn't sure if he should even approach this subject or not, but his curiosity got the best of him. " You really don't want to invite anyone else?" he asked as Ziva reached over and moved one of the candles on the table a little closer.

She furrowed her brow briefly. " Are you talking about Aaron?" she asked.

"No." Tony said quickly. So she was thinking about suit boy, was she? Great. "Actually...I was thinking about Abby and Ducky. " he began. "And Gibbs." he added, and the only light may have been from the flickering candles, but the expression on her face at the mention of those names didn't really need more illumination. It was clear that something was up there. Something had obviously changed. "I don't know if you've heard or not, but Jackson passed away.." Tony said.

Ziva nodded. "I heard. " she said and put her cards down on the table. "Gin," she announced .

Tony frowned. "What? That's impossible." he said and looked at her hand. He smirked and picked up all the cards again. "I forgot to shuffle the . " he said.

Ziva smirked back. "Obviously. " she said.

"So how did you hear about Jackson?"Tony asked as he shuffled the deck.

"From Tim." she replied .

Tony raised an eyebrow. "So you've been in touch with Mc Gee all along?" he asked sharply .

Ziva put her finger to her lips and reminded him of a sleeping Nina just a short distance away. "It was just one email. Hardly what I would call staying in touch." she said quietly.

Tony nodded. "Right. So, I guess you didn't contact Gibbs..." he said.

Ziva avoided his gaze. "Actually, I did." she said carefully.

Tony tried not to be hurt about that, and failed. "I'm sure he was glad to hear from you." he managed to say and dealt the cards again.

"I would not say that. " Ziva said. "Actually, I cannot say how he felt one way or the other, since he did not answer me." she said.

Tony looked up quickly. "He didn't?" he asked.

Ziva shook her head. "I left him a voice mail message." she began.

Tony nodded.. "That explains it, then. He never checks that. " he said.

Ziva nodded. "I remembered that, so I sent him an email. " she continued .

Tony frowned. " I'm going to assume this was at the NCIS address, since everyone knows he doesn't even own a computer..." he said .

" Yes." Ziva replied. "Finally, I decided to send him a note. I assume he is still living at the same address, yes?" she asked and something twisted in Tony's gut.

"Yes...so did you send it?" he asked

Ziva paused. "Yes. " she finally said and that something in his gut twisted again. "I cannot blame him for not answering me. I left him short handed and.."

"And you killed your own brother to save his life. " Tony cut in before she could blame herself any further. "Don't even try to defend him for this one." he added. " What about Abby and Ducky? Did you try to contact them?" he asked .

Ziva pretended to be fascinated by the cards in her hand. " Yes." she said without looking up. " When I did not hear from Gibbs, I decided to contact Abby, since they are so close." she said.

"Don't tell me you couldn't reach her, either. " Tony said.

"I did reach her." Ziva replied. "I called her cell phone and I can only assume that she answered because she did not know it was me. " she continued. "She told me that she did not blame Gibbs for not returning my messages. I left, and that hurt all of you. She asked me not to call her again, or try to contact her, because she was trying to move on. " she said. There was no malice in her voice as she recounted what happened, but it had to hurt like hell, and Tony hurt for her, in spite of himself. Old habits died harder than ever.

" And Ducky?" he asked hesitantly.

"I did not try to contact him. Abby said I would be wasting my time because he did not have anything to say to me." Ziva said.

Tony heaved an enormous sigh. "I'm sorry. " he said.

"I appreciate that. But you have nothing to be sorry about. I do not blame them for doing as I asked." Ziva said .

Tony shook his head. "You didn't ask them to pretend you never existed. And that's what all of them are doing." he said. "At first I thought they were doing it for my sake." he admitted and she looked up again. " Because of what happened between us.." he explained at her puzzled look.

"Oh." she said. "Yes. Perhaps they thought it would be easier..." she said..

Tony smirked. "Yeah, well. Not exactly. " he said cryptically. He didn't want to mention overhearing both Abby and Ducky badmouthing Ziva on more than one occasion to anyone who would listen.

Ziva was more than a little confused by his response, so she kept silent. She had grown used to losing people over the course of her life and losing more because they were angry about something she did was an improvement over the way she'd lost most of the people she loved in her life At least this time, no one was dead.. It did not stop her mourning the loss, though. She considered all three of them family, especially Gibbs. "If you would like them to meet Nina, I suppose we can arrange something. " she suggested. " I do not think they would accept if I invited them to come here." she added.

"All the more reason for you not to invite them, then." he said."To be honest, I'm not sure I want them to know. " he admitted. "A lot's changed since you left." he said

. "So it seems. " Ziva said. "Or maybe it is you who has changed. " she said.. He'd actually considered that, more than once, but really didn't like to think about how many times he'd passed up one thing or another out of loyalty to Gibbs and the rest of the team. Jobs. ...not to mention the woman sitting a foot away, although he couldn't really blame Gibbs for that anymore. Still, he did think about Rota more often these days, and missed opportunites, and whether his desire to be a part of something, that need for a sense of family and belonging had blinded him to behavior that was there all along.

Abby had always been odd, to put it mildly. Obssesively attached to certain people, and hideously childish about any kind of change, and no one, himself included, seemed to possess enough temerity to dare her to grow up and change. Her oddities and quirks had become part of the routine, and after all these years,he rarely thought twice about it, until that day he happened to overhear her talking to Dornegat about Ziva. All of a sudden, she wasn't the lovable Goth in the dog collar,and the weird clothes and childish hairstyle and behavior weren't cute anymore. They were bizarre and out of place on a woman 40 plus years old

Gibbs continued to pander to her, bringing sugary caffeinated treats to reward her, the way one would a child. And of course, Abby stopped talking as soon as she saw Dornegat's gaze turn from her to the doorway where Tony was standing. She did the whole 'TonyTonyTony' big hug routine, but it was all hollow, completely false, and Dornegat looked grateful for chance to slip away unnoticed.

Tony asked her why she'd been bamouthing Ziva and got a 'She left us. Why should I say anything nice about her?' in reply. He asked her if she felt the same way about Caitlin and Jenny, because after all, they'd 'left', too, and she looked at him as if he'd grown another head. 'They died, Tony. It's not the same left us because she WANTED to.' she said in a tone that suggested such a notion was inconceivable. So in the world according to Abby, the only acceptable way out of the Gibbs universe was death. Sort of like the Mafia, minus the cannoli.

He recalled nodding and pretending to get a text from Faith before beating a hasty retreat back to the squad room. He must have looked rattled, because Mc Gee eyed him carefully after he sat down and asked if he was okay. He replied that he was fine, but he wasn't. Not really. And he hadn't been while sitting at this desk, and with most of these people, for sometime now,. That itchy feeling just under his skin returned, and he scratched at his arm idly.

Ziva noticed him scratching and put her hand on the spot on his arm without thinking. " Perhaps it is the soap?" she asked.

Tony looked at her hand on his arm and then up at her face, and she removed her hand quickly. "The soap?" he asked .

" The thing that is making you itch." Ziva explained " Perhaps it is my soap?" she asked.

"Oh. Right. Maybe." he said. No point in teling her he'd been itching like that for weeks now, and it had nothing to do with soap.

" Maybe some of Nina's lotion will help?" Ziva began and he put his hand on her arm before she could get to her feet. " It's fine. Really." he insisted. "But thanks for the offer." he added, but it wasn't fne at all. Not really, but he couldn't tell her that. "I'll ask Mc Gee not to say anything about Nina. " he suggested. "And it isn't because I'm ashamed of her. " he added

Tony saw Ziva smile shyly in the dim light. " I did not think that was the reason.. And you are free to tell or not tell anyone you choose." she said. " I just wanted to be clear about why I will not be asking Abby or Gibbs or Ducky to come here. " she said .

Tony nodded. "It's clear. And for whatever it's worth, I'm sorry. " he said .

"It is worth a lot. Thank you." Ziva said. "I would rather not expose Nina to angry people if I can help it...Are we still playing?" she asked and held up her cards.

"Of course." Tony said and picked up his cards. He studied her face in the flickering light as she studied her cards.

She was right, of course. Nina didn't need angry people in her life. But the thing that hit him right in the solar plexus at that particular moment was more than likely the thing that had been making his skin itch all along.

He was pretty sure that he didn't need them, either.


End file.
